I have always sought something extraordinary. A woman, relationship that leaves me spent and craving. Lost on an astral plane of existence. Killing me with pleasure is what I want to be my ultimate end.
This search has brought me some hazmat relatinship situations and some very memorable I would love to repeat escapades. From those I dated, played with and my wife. Things have only gotten freakier and increasing the need for more and more. As I look back, now and forward though I wonder if it is just a lost cause. A pipe dream. As my sex drive and desire keeps increasing. There is no outlet for sex or my need to be ultimately sadistic. Last year I finally had a chance to let some of that out and I am even more addicted now. Wanton for the combination of orgasms and responses to the pain I inflict. Enjoying every last time she cums only to make her cum even more. Then to only overload her sensations to the point where she is lost in a haze.
I have kept them cumming past their point of comfort. To feed my need for that super stimulation. They thought it was about them until that barrier of their mind's comfort was destroyed and there was only my pleasure. Draining every last squirt from their body only to make them squirt from some unknown place again. I just keep saying feed me. Feed me what I need. Combine me flogging, tying, padding and caning them. My hunger is ferrocious now.
The results have not always been the best for them. For I have broken the ones that everyone else saw as the females that couldn't be broke. She don't tap out as I laugh at myself because I know she does. Because I have made them tap out and more. To the point when we showed up at swing parties that I had to promise not to make them do it in public. I like breaking the proclaimed boss, diva, superfemale. Makes me grin with enthusiasm.
Unfortunately this formula is broken. Wanting a relationship with a capable woman and sub/slave has become me trying to escape the labyrinth. Even though it has been told to me that I scare prospects off that may be interested in me. I stick to the fact that it weeds out the ones that can't cut it right off the bat. The frauds and ones that are not strong enough to be with or deal with me. I am closed off to those that can't accept and understand that I am just going to be me. I step up to the plate and let my intentions and wants be known. All I ask is to be real and be yourself. Don't fight what you feel, need and want. Dealing with females though that is a difficult task I have seen.
What do I want you ask? A Woman! One that can be stimulating in a multiple of ways. Loving, caring and understanding. Accept me and understand that I treat those I love and care about like the treasure that they are to me. But I don't give a second look at things outside of the circle. So I need them to focus on the glow that is us. She has to feed me sexually. From the many marathon sex sessions, to being my ultimate slut and whore. I want to be taken to the brink. Put me to sleep and make me tap out for once in my life. Kill me with pleasure. I want a woman that is mine and my sub/slave. The whole package in one. Give me the sexy ass woman with the relationship that can't be eclipsed!
After saying all this. I sit back and look at the brick wall with the razor wire still sitting in front of me. Wondering if a woman will have the mental stability and fortitude to join me in this journey and let's be the Legends that we are meant to be. It is hard when you have females that can't be themselves and feed you bullshit visions of themselves. Or the mental blocks that won't let them free themselves to live and love life.
As I sit here amid the rubble and obstacles I wonder what direction if any I can travel? Will I get the woman I seek? Or will I just have to stick with just some play things and let intimate things die peacefully.
Crossroads
Land mines
and the abyss
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