My track record and noted position on dating has been well expressed. But with time, experience and reflection evolution has occurred. Well, somewhat. lol
I have and do date in and out of dynamics and vanilla. It has given me a number of different perspectives.
When I dated Chocolate Doll it was based on attraction, connection and interests. Which is the way thtat things work best for me I found out. Brass tacks as the old skools would say.
Since then I have made the mistake of being too caring and loving to those that weren't interested in or able to understand, act or be that way. So, ended up overwhelming them and them using the word needy Instead of understanding that they just wanted to be dominated and have a relation on an interested sliding scale. I had no problem with that way. I was just too focused on what I saw as giving my full investment in who I was with. My fault then. Lesson learned after the fact. Instead I gave them Me fully.
Now, I merely see them for who, what and how they are and let them be. From the ones I have tried to date in the last few years to dating sunshine. I am grateful for the learning process because it allowed dating sunshine to work out and be ready.
Dating in a dynamic comes with many different factors depending on if they are an stype or a vanilla. Being able to support, feed and be with them is an in motion adventure. Making sure not to detract from them being an stype or the uniqueness of their submission is a wonderous mindfield to navigate. This is part of sharpening and strengthening iron though and it is good.
Add poly to things and now there is more avenues to think about, handle and navigate. Depending on their position, thoughts and feelings on how they do their poly is what has to be addressed. The only thing that I don't do is poly with another Dominant with them. Otherwise I want them to be happy and fulfilled in their life. But there is also the issues of whoever else they date having their own issues and causing problems. I realized that the first time it was impromptu tried with me. I can't console, support someone that is hurt and or has chosen to continue to be hurt and dissapointed I found out personally.
I have never been the one to chase a female or woman. That seems like a need to maintain their ego more than anything else. Just like I am not forcing anyone to be submissive, I am not coercing anyone to want to date or have a relationship. I know first hand that there are those that need to feel like they are made to be submissive or be in a relatioship. But these things are just not for me. There is no need to repeat watching someone I love cry and feel down because of they are not being controlled how they want by whom they want.
Dating is a wonderful thing when there is a connection that those involved have and can work on without issues, ego and defamation.
A slight discussion about dating. What are your thoughts?
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