A Week in Review...Candid Moments in Death and Peace

So yesterday we buried the female parental unit. There was so many people at the service and the viewing at the funeral home. Those from bama to up north and everywhere. Everything was good. I stayed away from the male parental unit so not to deal with the issues of his dementia and whatever else he has going on.

So this is going to be behind the curtains type of post...

I have always done my duty as son, being and alien that I am. Everyone but one will never understand it based on their lives and that being the only way that they can look at things. I wasn't into family stuff because I was hatched to be independent and not need all that attention and everything. When I got married though it was the complete opposite because that was my family and I needed my family to be cared for, loved, protected and close to. 

So I wasn't a momma's boy or up under the father. I was just being me and did my job. 

I have known my mother was going to die for months. So, I was already prepared and ready for things. The male parental and their daughter may not have been ready but I was. 

With that said I know everyone expects everyone to cry and fall out when someone dies. That is not me. I grieve, deal with and handle things internally like all things I do must happen. Just because I am not falling on the floor crying doesn't mean I am not feeling anything. 

Many times people asked me how I was and their response was that they didn't believe me when I said i was fine. Reality is that I was and I am fine.  

The things that affected me the most were the memories of Chocolate Doll and Big Ma dying along with really wanting and needing someone that could fill the role of comforter that I needed without all the issues and drama. Just that one time where it is about me and everything being right in those moments. 

But I am thankful.

For that showed their concern and caring. The support and well wishes. The outpouring of concern. Even a guy from the cigar shop that I have not known that long came out to the country and attended the funeral .

This truly showed me who is there and who isn't. Along with showing me the necessary actions that are now required to be taken. 

I remain humbled and thankful.