Life Unscripted continues...
My boy Charlie's wife brought his ashes to the shop monday. We smoked and talked as he was represented there in his walker chair. His wife hugged me and told me how much he enjoyed me and everything. We had a bond that didn't need to be said most of the time. And I was emotional over his loss and I still am. She gave me the knife he kept in his pocket for over 20 years, saying that she knows that he would want me to have it. Moving. I am moved. So he should have taken his last ride to the mountains to be spread at Devil's crossing I think is the name of the place.
Dealing with real life when it comes to D/s is trying to say the least. It can be constant battles and putting out fires. It is stress, worry and agitation. It is good as well. But it is a gamut of things unlike the faerie tale ideologies.
The community:
There are so many types and all when it comes to the community of bdsm. Because there are so many different people involved in or claiming it. Just like vanilla life we have to watch for the predators, violators, snake oil salesmen and all. This is why I observe, speak out and act accordingly. Not to be popular or need to be friends with everyone. But because that is my way and personal integrity.
submissives/slaves:
It seems like there are more and more stypes that have brought even more of the vanilla mentality to this realm. Where they need to lash out, talk loud and get in their little feelings because they are damaged and their past. It merely shows me who not to interact with or let interact with My House. The whole lump everyone together mentality is strong in these ones.
Dating:
It is an oxymoron to have females claiming they are independent, strong and do their own thing but scared to leave their damages, past and issues to enjoy life as well as date. The so called "I need to go slow," comment is so they feel comfortable and can control something that they have chosen not to have control over. And they scream and run away if you are a man that speaks his mind and is up front. Because that is all too mean and something they can't comprehend. I don't think or feel like them so why should they think that I should?
The hurricane aka dorian ended up being a tropical storm. It wasn't bad at all. It was what was to be expected actually. It passed quickly with minimal damage to the house. I am very appreciative of those that checked on me and showed concern.
The facade:
In this alternative lifestyle many people think that everyone should think and be alike. Like we are all drones from the same clone. Our paths, histories and lives are completely unique from each others.
So called leaders have chosen the path of popularity and fraud in this lifestyle. Charlatans are everywhere. People want to be upset because you speak against it. No, don't say anything because of blah, blah, blah. Well, I am not that person at all. I am not perfect but I am not claiming to be who I am not in this lifestyle or trying to use folks.
if you are interested in someone then be direct. Don't play games and try to drop hints because you are scared. Seize the moment! I especially do not get these so called hints. Escape your personal prison and live.
With all that said enjoy your weekend and be yourself.
Saturday, September 07, 2019
Sunday, September 01, 2019
Integrity: Standards and Operation
According to Merriam-Webster the definition of integrity is…
integrity
in·teg·ri·ty | \ in-ˈte-grə-tē \
Definition of integrity
Based from a great discussion led by Master Penguin at the
MDHL meeting last month it got me to thinking about integrity in the lifestyle
and life. Especially after everything that people have done and shown since the
meeting. There were viewpoints and
information from both sides of the slash.
My view:
Integrity begins self. Then with those that you are close to
and with. Followed by the communities that you are part of and represent. Lastly the integrity to the general admission
public.
Integrity does not mean that you don’t make mistakes. It
means that you learn and improve from the mistakes so they are not made again.
What I have seen most lately that have been assaults against
integrity
·
Attacks on consent violation and other victims
·
The inability to maintain or honor roles, word
and actions
·
The outing and assaults on those new to the
lifestyle as well as others
·
The inability of people to think, instead of
following popularity and propaganda
These are but a few of the many things.
There are no integrity police. Each and every person is on
the honor system with and for themselves. This reveals the make up and
foundation of a person.
Are you the person that is bothered because someone said
something about what your popular in crowd member does but it was wrong?
Are you the one who agreed to a role, dynamic, relation and
can’t fulfill it because of lack of personal integrity?
Or are you scared to try, do and make things happen that you
seek because of your fear of your own integrity?
There are these questions and many more. So where and how is
your integrity?
Monday, August 26, 2019
Journey Into Life Unscripted..aka the Mystery
The hits keep on coming and rolling. But that is life as an adult and more as you get older.
From a so called person of knowledge in the lifestyle attacking someone new on purpose.All that to keep and gain popularity with the sheeple and feel like something.
Watching the ending of relations, dynamics and all. Remind me to be vigilant like I have had to previously. If they don't want to and are not working on things with me then they have made their choice.
Struggles for alleged power by the regular people as well as the idiots that have been running countries for decades.
Here I have watched and experienced the evolution of changes that have occured personally as well as through observation.
My growth has come a long way. From letting vanilla aspects permeate my journey and choices with individuals. As well as giving those that were not able to handle it Me. I had to understand and find my balance and place. Only to realize that those that I saw everything in were unable to see or perform for themselves.
From those that I had, was interested in and all have shown me the way. To change, streamline, deny and make sure to be a lot more strict.
My journey. My journey in Leather, life and living has become more bold and knowledgeable. Moving forward against it all.
Well I am back in town. Back to dealing with the parental unit and the other stuff going on But, these past years have definitely added to the adventures in life unscripted living book.
From a so called person of knowledge in the lifestyle attacking someone new on purpose.All that to keep and gain popularity with the sheeple and feel like something.
Watching the ending of relations, dynamics and all. Remind me to be vigilant like I have had to previously. If they don't want to and are not working on things with me then they have made their choice.
Struggles for alleged power by the regular people as well as the idiots that have been running countries for decades.
Here I have watched and experienced the evolution of changes that have occured personally as well as through observation.
My growth has come a long way. From letting vanilla aspects permeate my journey and choices with individuals. As well as giving those that were not able to handle it Me. I had to understand and find my balance and place. Only to realize that those that I saw everything in were unable to see or perform for themselves.
From those that I had, was interested in and all have shown me the way. To change, streamline, deny and make sure to be a lot more strict.
My journey. My journey in Leather, life and living has become more bold and knowledgeable. Moving forward against it all.
Well I am back in town. Back to dealing with the parental unit and the other stuff going on But, these past years have definitely added to the adventures in life unscripted living book.
Tuesday, August 20, 2019
A Fellow Caveman Went Home Today
With everything going on lately. From the popular consent violators attacking someone new in the lifestyle to the dealing with all the things that life presents. I wasn't prepared for today.
Charlie died today. And it hit me hard. I made me think about life, living and the frailty of existence.
Who was Charlie?
He was an ex biker that road with many of the biker gangs including the Hell's Angels. He lived the rebel and alternative life before it became a fad or acceptable. A large, white man that was on dialysis and used a walker after all the years and adventures. He held the long toss on hillsborough street in raleigh for tossing a guy from the top of the stairs of the bar and through the door out into the street with out hitting the stairs. He was history, knowledge, entertainment and manly before the tree hugging, sensitive me too hate mongers showed up.
Guns
Drugs
Knives
Adventures
There were stories about it all and so much more.
So when I walked into the cigar shop today and my boy all of sudden called me to come over using a lower town of voice I was wondering what was going on. Telling me that Charlie died at home this morning shook me. I had to gain my composure and mindset. WTF! I just saw him and was talking to him in the shop yesterday. He was supposed to go home and cook the boudin to eat finally.
Charlie's wife had come in the shop to tell everyone a few minutes before josh and I arrived. And I am kind of glad because I don't think I would have held it together at that point.
My fellow man that spoke and understood gruntanese.
My man that didnt like humans either.
The man with such a similar disposition as I it was funny.
Yesterday was the last day I had to see and speak with him. And today he is gone.
I was extra shocked that he spoke to his wife about me. Because she told me how much charlie enjoyed being around me at the shop he told her. I was and am still speechless. His wife said that she was going to cook the boudin tonight in honor of him. Then she tells me that charlie wanted me to have something. And now I am mute. I don't have anything to say.
As I sit here still in shock. I am glad he isn't suffering and didn't suffer when he died it seems. But damn I am going to miss him.
This drink is for you Charlie!!
Charlie died today. And it hit me hard. I made me think about life, living and the frailty of existence.
Who was Charlie?
He was an ex biker that road with many of the biker gangs including the Hell's Angels. He lived the rebel and alternative life before it became a fad or acceptable. A large, white man that was on dialysis and used a walker after all the years and adventures. He held the long toss on hillsborough street in raleigh for tossing a guy from the top of the stairs of the bar and through the door out into the street with out hitting the stairs. He was history, knowledge, entertainment and manly before the tree hugging, sensitive me too hate mongers showed up.
Guns
Drugs
Knives
Adventures
There were stories about it all and so much more.
So when I walked into the cigar shop today and my boy all of sudden called me to come over using a lower town of voice I was wondering what was going on. Telling me that Charlie died at home this morning shook me. I had to gain my composure and mindset. WTF! I just saw him and was talking to him in the shop yesterday. He was supposed to go home and cook the boudin to eat finally.
Charlie's wife had come in the shop to tell everyone a few minutes before josh and I arrived. And I am kind of glad because I don't think I would have held it together at that point.
My fellow man that spoke and understood gruntanese.
My man that didnt like humans either.
The man with such a similar disposition as I it was funny.
Yesterday was the last day I had to see and speak with him. And today he is gone.
I was extra shocked that he spoke to his wife about me. Because she told me how much charlie enjoyed being around me at the shop he told her. I was and am still speechless. His wife said that she was going to cook the boudin tonight in honor of him. Then she tells me that charlie wanted me to have something. And now I am mute. I don't have anything to say.
As I sit here still in shock. I am glad he isn't suffering and didn't suffer when he died it seems. But damn I am going to miss him.
This drink is for you Charlie!!
Wednesday, August 14, 2019
Blitzkrieg upon the Black Man
The Black Man. A highly targeted and endangered species. The attackers? white supremicists of course along with feminists, government, black people and females.
In the news the black man is the mass shooter, street corner robbing, thugnificent.
Family and relationships equal us seen as pimp, playa, deadbeats that cheat and destroy the so called female.
In other words no matter what the Black Man inspires fear, loathing and the need to imprison.
So, the existence of the Black Man is just like Punisher: War Zone. We just have to keep fighting until we are completely dead and against absolutely everyone.
The latest things is this toxic masculinity bullshit. Just another assault by the femanazis to try and destroy the black man some more. It is like there needs to be this pseudo male that they can keep underneath their boot to try and feel like somebody complex. This seems to come from the whole ultra damaged female needing to project, attack and make responsible anyone they come across for their past. So here come the petty, whining, I don't want to make an effort but wait until I am in the mood and ready type of females.
It use to be simply defending against the attack of racists and government. Now it has become those things along with females and our own race. This increase created a bigger rift between black men and black women. And gave those that fear more ammunition to use.
As a black man we have squash the rhetoric and keep moving forward. Remove those that are not allies and are in this concocted fear from our lives. Educate those that can be educated and stick to our principles, goals and achievements.
As black men we must continue to
Fight
Fight
Fight
against all enemies. Foreign, domestic, familial as well as relationship wise.
In the news the black man is the mass shooter, street corner robbing, thugnificent.
Family and relationships equal us seen as pimp, playa, deadbeats that cheat and destroy the so called female.
In other words no matter what the Black Man inspires fear, loathing and the need to imprison.
So, the existence of the Black Man is just like Punisher: War Zone. We just have to keep fighting until we are completely dead and against absolutely everyone.
The latest things is this toxic masculinity bullshit. Just another assault by the femanazis to try and destroy the black man some more. It is like there needs to be this pseudo male that they can keep underneath their boot to try and feel like somebody complex. This seems to come from the whole ultra damaged female needing to project, attack and make responsible anyone they come across for their past. So here come the petty, whining, I don't want to make an effort but wait until I am in the mood and ready type of females.
It use to be simply defending against the attack of racists and government. Now it has become those things along with females and our own race. This increase created a bigger rift between black men and black women. And gave those that fear more ammunition to use.
As a black man we have squash the rhetoric and keep moving forward. Remove those that are not allies and are in this concocted fear from our lives. Educate those that can be educated and stick to our principles, goals and achievements.
As black men we must continue to
Fight
Fight
Fight
against all enemies. Foreign, domestic, familial as well as relationship wise.
Monday, August 12, 2019
A Poly Podcast and the Caveman
When I was asked at the brats reunion I had a brief conversation with one of the sexy twins. (they definitely would make for a nice twin fantasy fulfillment.) We talked a little about poly and a podcast they had done previously because I am poly as well as mono. She was interested and spoke to her twin and they wanted me to come on and give my perspective.
It was very interesting. They were interested in learning so they had open minds about it. They ended up learning some things and dispelling some notions that vanillas have.
Check it out. It has sparked some new conversations among people. Which is the point of it all along with education.
Enjoy
https://open.spotify.com/episode/7oMopklZU7ZZAtB7OFLXxu
It was very interesting. They were interested in learning so they had open minds about it. They ended up learning some things and dispelling some notions that vanillas have.
Check it out. It has sparked some new conversations among people. Which is the point of it all along with education.
Enjoy
https://open.spotify.com/episode/7oMopklZU7ZZAtB7OFLXxu
The Return to the Learning Curve
So the hands of time have mixed with the sands and here we are. Trials and tribulations. Errors and
achievements.
I have had to learn since beginning this journey. Much of it the hard way I have to say. But that was mostly because of new to this lifestyle and not maintaining objectivity because of attachment.
r was marred because of being in love with her and didn't properly manage, require and let there be unecessary actions and inactions.
The flower thing was a bet gone wrong because I tried to make it work with something that couldn't even come to terms with itself.
Those two and my encounters with others taught me to be a lot more strict and streamlined.
little one came and taught me to lock things down even more and negotiate even more thoroughly. Which led to new rules, protocols and expectations..
babycakes has been showing me that I have to beef up, reinforce and arm the protocols, expectations, requirements and consideration a whole lot more.
Told the girls that each predecessor has created this evolution. And babycakes of course said that it wasn't fair basically. I laughed at that shit. True my mistakes and experiences have created more and more effective analytics, preparations and actions.
If I don't learn then the horrors of the past are only going to repeat themselves. I say to thee, Nay! I have no need to return to bullshit again in my life with things.
So, I will just continue riding this learning curve on out like a long haired, stoned surfer.
achievements.
I have had to learn since beginning this journey. Much of it the hard way I have to say. But that was mostly because of new to this lifestyle and not maintaining objectivity because of attachment.
r was marred because of being in love with her and didn't properly manage, require and let there be unecessary actions and inactions.
The flower thing was a bet gone wrong because I tried to make it work with something that couldn't even come to terms with itself.
Those two and my encounters with others taught me to be a lot more strict and streamlined.
little one came and taught me to lock things down even more and negotiate even more thoroughly. Which led to new rules, protocols and expectations..
babycakes has been showing me that I have to beef up, reinforce and arm the protocols, expectations, requirements and consideration a whole lot more.
Told the girls that each predecessor has created this evolution. And babycakes of course said that it wasn't fair basically. I laughed at that shit. True my mistakes and experiences have created more and more effective analytics, preparations and actions.
If I don't learn then the horrors of the past are only going to repeat themselves. I say to thee, Nay! I have no need to return to bullshit again in my life with things.
So, I will just continue riding this learning curve on out like a long haired, stoned surfer.
Friday, August 09, 2019
Life's Poetry: Love's Anomaly in a Modern Day Catastrophe
Love’s Anomaly in a Modern Day Catastrophe
The damaged and fucked up
Seem to be the norm
Catalytic
Acid rain living
Caught in and re creating
Their own regurgitated
Purging
I miss the days
When females became women
When they got out of their own way
Were made up of more than scarred, mutilated remains
Told how horrible history
They have maintained
Calculated disdain created
In a cesspool of
I can’t
I won’t
Never again
Only here to project
Their inadequacy of self
Give the gift of
Hating themselves and whoever loves them
So there is no surprise
When I step up and say
What I want with you
That I love you
That I need you
And you slink away
Run away
Start screaming
As your fear and hatred
Keep you imprisoned
No worries
I will leave you happily
At the Rikers of your own making
As I hold onto
Memories, experience and knowledge of
What a woman
Relationship
Love and living
Is live and well if you can handle it
These modern times
Make me glad and ecstatic
That I had a chance to live that
Mary J Blige “Real love”
From the chocolatezeus collection 8/9/19 ©
Tuesday, August 06, 2019
Sexy Twins, a Podcast and Poly
So when I went to the BRATS reunion in San Antonio I met these two sexy little twins. I talked to one more than the other since she was out in the smoking section more. We glanced on poly and bdsm. She said that her and her twin had a podcast and they wanted me to come on and discuss poly on there. I said sure and a couple weeks or month ago checked out their podcast. They were interesting, intelligent had some open mindedness as well as cute and sexy.
So, the Caveman recorded the pod cast tonight with them. It was entertaining and fun. I got a chance to teach and express myself, my journey and everything. Good questions were asked and I gave answers that showed the diversity of it all and that was what they needed. They didn't know how deep the rabbit hole actually could go or went. I gave them a bigger taste.
This should be a nice educational snippet for people to hear and get their minds thinking some more. So we will see when they finish editing the podcast how it goes. But I think it went well and reminded me of the old days of suit and tie presentations and meetings.
Other than that...
little one had a great day at work. Thank God! She felt loved on by me and everyone treated her nice. And I didn't have to go down there because someone stole her flowers or she didn't get her flowers today. So, that was a great bonus.
it has been a rough day as well. So things are what they are. The night is here and the drink is going so I will be alright for a few hours.
So, the Caveman recorded the pod cast tonight with them. It was entertaining and fun. I got a chance to teach and express myself, my journey and everything. Good questions were asked and I gave answers that showed the diversity of it all and that was what they needed. They didn't know how deep the rabbit hole actually could go or went. I gave them a bigger taste.
This should be a nice educational snippet for people to hear and get their minds thinking some more. So we will see when they finish editing the podcast how it goes. But I think it went well and reminded me of the old days of suit and tie presentations and meetings.
Other than that...
little one had a great day at work. Thank God! She felt loved on by me and everyone treated her nice. And I didn't have to go down there because someone stole her flowers or she didn't get her flowers today. So, that was a great bonus.
it has been a rough day as well. So things are what they are. The night is here and the drink is going so I will be alright for a few hours.
Monday, August 05, 2019
Poetry; Be Careful What you Ask For
Be Careful What you Ask For
Your words
Holding court
Etched into history
You want
Directness
With no ambiguity
You want
Equality
Without recognizing
Differences
You show no interest
As you remain
Mentally wet for me
Give me
Love and a relationship
As you hide from it
Screaming pettiness
Because you got
exactly
What you asked for
Be honest
Ask yourself
And deal with it all
From the
chocolatezeus collection 8/5/19 ©
50 Hasn't Got Anything on Her
Hope you are doing well and enjoying summer or heat fest that has been going on. lol
The weekend Me and little one spent the weekend celebrating her birthday in Raleigh. A weekend full of things that she would and wanted to do.
This year will make for years that she has been my submissive. The longest reigning and first submissive officially that I have owned. Hard to believe it has been that long as well as how it all began.
We went to a burger spot near downtown Raleigh friday night and then hit the movie theater to see Hobbs and Shaw. After a long week it was what she needed. To just get away from work and just enjoy herself. Burgers were good. My down south had bbq pork on it and the meat was not infused with hormones and steroids based on the taste. The movie was interesting and fun. Still have to deal with suspending my thinking process while watching a movie though.
Saturday was sip and paint minus the sipping. And hell there were only us along with grandparents and their grandparents in the studio anyway. But we all laughed and talked as we painted our coy fish paintings. I think my coy turned into a fricking shark with a laser running around Atlantis in my painting though. lol
Took her to a Japanese Hibachi steak place called Kabuki. I think I have been there before. The service was attentive but we did have to wait on our chef for a long time. I also don't like going to these without a large party to fill up your seating area. But at least it wasn't that bad with those that we were seated with. There was the drunk father across from us though. She enjoyed herself and everyone sang happy birthday to her. Plus she got the big portions which will last her days anyway. We both did have a lot of food afterwards.
She got to watch maleficcent and we chilled.
So, she had a chance to do things that she wanted to and have fun. Even though I know she held back with her submissive mindset because I kept saying that it wasn't about me and it was about her.
She was shocked by her gifts and decorations in the room. Even though the damn candles went out before she finally got there.
Well...
The things Dominant does for their property and when they have to brow beat them into focusing on self. Sign of a submissive basically.
It is the beginning of the week. Seize it and crush it in your hands as you move forward.
The weekend Me and little one spent the weekend celebrating her birthday in Raleigh. A weekend full of things that she would and wanted to do.
This year will make for years that she has been my submissive. The longest reigning and first submissive officially that I have owned. Hard to believe it has been that long as well as how it all began.
We went to a burger spot near downtown Raleigh friday night and then hit the movie theater to see Hobbs and Shaw. After a long week it was what she needed. To just get away from work and just enjoy herself. Burgers were good. My down south had bbq pork on it and the meat was not infused with hormones and steroids based on the taste. The movie was interesting and fun. Still have to deal with suspending my thinking process while watching a movie though.
Saturday was sip and paint minus the sipping. And hell there were only us along with grandparents and their grandparents in the studio anyway. But we all laughed and talked as we painted our coy fish paintings. I think my coy turned into a fricking shark with a laser running around Atlantis in my painting though. lol
Took her to a Japanese Hibachi steak place called Kabuki. I think I have been there before. The service was attentive but we did have to wait on our chef for a long time. I also don't like going to these without a large party to fill up your seating area. But at least it wasn't that bad with those that we were seated with. There was the drunk father across from us though. She enjoyed herself and everyone sang happy birthday to her. Plus she got the big portions which will last her days anyway. We both did have a lot of food afterwards.
She got to watch maleficcent and we chilled.
So, she had a chance to do things that she wanted to and have fun. Even though I know she held back with her submissive mindset because I kept saying that it wasn't about me and it was about her.
She was shocked by her gifts and decorations in the room. Even though the damn candles went out before she finally got there.
Well...
The things Dominant does for their property and when they have to brow beat them into focusing on self. Sign of a submissive basically.
It is the beginning of the week. Seize it and crush it in your hands as you move forward.
Friday, July 26, 2019
Poetic Moment: Return of the Soulmate Part Deux
Return of the Soulmate Part Deux
I had to take a step
back
Is this a trap set
from high above?
When the endgame
closed
Could no longer keep
my promise
Here you come
Sultry and sexy
A standout among the
cutouts
The heart beats
reaching for love
To taste and feel it’s
Flavorful variations
Once again upon my
soul
Is it time?
Have you been put in
The proper time and
place
To once again
Grace that happy
place
Soar through the
ether
Fully charged against
eternity
Is this soul stirring
The answers to giving
up
Returning to history
Analysis
Evaluation
Over thinking
As the insomnia
Claims us
Our history and
passion
Nibble at us
Will this be the
return of the King?
Or
The reincarnation of
Demolition Man again?
From the
chocolatezeus collection 7/26/19 ©
Poetic Moment: Are you?
Are you?
From the first time
Connected and
intoxicated
A blast from the past
Come full circle
Uniqueness
Sex appeal
Creativity and
passion
All the things that
fanned the flames
Once again
Here and now
Elevated
Just from a
reconnection
For me a connection
that never left
Just removed from
My universe
So come to me
Leave behind the pain
of the past
Embrace the pain of
change
As you hear the rain
drops
Match the beat of
your heart
Let go
Be free
You know the answer
So here is the
question from me
Are you ready to be
with me?
From the
chocolatezeus collection 7/26/19 ©
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