Ghost Rider, The Pattern Is Full

They tell me that it is not that serious. Just let things happen at their own time and pace.

Ok, I take and make a mental note to adjust accordingly.


They tell me how permanency is what they seek. But just don't let us get to close to each other. I still need to feel free.

I notate and prepare the escape plan for when it is time for things to go south real quick.


The why you ask and wth:

There has been a lot of convo had, read and listened to concerning the state of relations or situations as they call them.  I have no problem with humans seeing, doing and being the way that they are in this dating, relation, situation thing. I applaud those that know they can't and won't be worth anything in a relationship. So stick to whatever you come up with that suits you and those that deal with that.

My issue has been with those that say they don't want anything with a title or holding some aspect of vulnerability and then want everything to act and be like they are actually in a relationship. Stop the madness an confusion!  You are just 5150 there little girl.

Yes I was a proponent of relationships and marriage. Locked in supermax underneath a couple fortresses it still remains. Preserved.  But I have transmuted from renaissance to caveman to rest at the cromagnon level.

Just like you speak according to the audience you are addressing. You interact socially and relation wise according to who it is directed to.

I feel like the saying of the gladiators before the arena fights should be injected right here.

We who are about to die salute you!!!   LoL

So, I am not stuck in a time warp or expecting anything other than whatever, who I am interacting with is actually capable of doing. You don't give more than you are prepared to give and you don't waste time and energy on things that hold no relevancy.

situationships
we just fuck
or whatever else

it's all good
just state what you want and stick with it


as for me...


I am breaking left and kicking in the afterburners!!!


till the next time...Salud

Manly Things

It is acceptable to feel, love and care. Even though society tells us that we shouldn't do those things because they make us weak.

For me I embraced who I am. Both the dark and the light. I love just as hard as I am apathetic to people.

My love runs deep, strong and beats very passionately. Even for the one who avoids and kind of fears it. It is that love that makes me need that FIX that only she can provide. The peace, comfort and pleasure all rolled up in one.

My strength lies in my purpose and convictions. Those things that make me anamoly, weird and strange. I am just baffling that way.

It has best been said by different people. "you are so nice and sweet, you don't have to be so mean.

The reality is that I am both.

This trip to greensboro was needed. and it allowed me to experience, think and reflect on things.

A closer understanding and journey of Daddy/Dom me and all my sadistic things.

My connection to Lil Red is strong as hell. even though I know I can't let it be stronger until she is ready.

Relations are a serious episode in super abnormal psychology.

between the relationship questions from mdhl and the conversations last week. It gave me plenty of things to think about and I will express myself here after I get back to the house today.

The few relationships that I have are there with true purpose and my concern and desire to have them flourish and grow is strong.

Turning Point

Another year is about to be marked saturday. I am not happy about it because my plans were all dashed. The comfort, pleasure and peace I looked forward to is out of reach.  So basically I probably won't do a single thing this weekend. I did get the invite to Twin's bday party at Bill's. But I am horny and need of my fix and it is not there at all either. Well, it is what it is. And reinforces that rule of mine on expectations. *shrug* Lesson learned.

I need a deep tissue massage so badly right now to deal with the stress and dealing with everything that happened. I just need something to give. Get some reprise. But I will have to wait on that as well.

Oh and my King Sadist in me is really losing it. Past chomping at the bit in the need to finally let all the infliction of delicious pain out. I have been thinking and plotting how to use this energy on HQ. But that is on hold until whenever. I want to watch the reactions from flogging, tying them up in rope and me forcing each and every delicious orgasm and mental response. I especially ready to use the crucifixion tie and futimomo. I have been ready for those to be implemented to my demented pleasure since watching them demonstrate them at the rope classes here. It is going to be so titillating to have her prone and stuck in those positions so I can have my way with every inch of her body.

As a man I like to feel and see the reinforcement of relations with me. It makes me appreciate the person a whole lot more. Especially considering that I share with them all of me. Yes, I like the sexy pic sent to me to brighten my day. Calls, texts and thoughts of me keep me happy. I only ask for a few things to feed my attentive needs. Those little things make me smile and thankful for them being a part of me.

I have thought and discussed the joining of D/s relationship and having a relationship mixed together. it is not an easy thing. And honestly I am having a hard time feeling and figuring out the ways that will make things the best way possible. It doesn't change my goal and what I want though. It just says that it is not easy at all. But I want exactly what I want.

There have been some good things that have happened. Good discussion and realizations. At least I don't have to deal with absolutely everything being horrible.

I think I need some chocolate chip cookies to deal with this.

Enjoy. As I continue my mind's 20000 mph thinking