Elusive Apprhension of the RAW

Thats right we search dilligently, sometimes crazily
For that RAW

Real
Ass
Woman

Sought after like the lochness monster
Berift of fairytale pondering
Searching for the one and only
Sifting through the pseudo and phoney

Yeah I found my match
That chick with class
Damn I guess I will pass
Because she is just another one that showed her ass

Different looks
Different backgrounds
Different lives
Going to the same results
What the fuck

The words LOVE
Used strategically
Something to weild against me

The journy continues
Still in need of that RAW on my personal menu
A loving, married venue
Pulsing throughout my every sinew

Still serching for that RAW
That elusive midnight star
Transcending my life by far
Mirroring my life as the top star

I know it is hit and miss
Reaching for this one time gift
Sift after sift
Rifling through the bullshit
Finding the pure evidence
That this chick, that chick was never Heaven sent.

My journey remains most RAW
Search and Rescue the only worthwile part
For is it our lives we must save
Stave the negative waves

My RAW is worth wait
But damn just hurry up for Christ's sake


from the chocolatezeus collection 6/19/06 (c)

Proud of My Baby!!!

Hell yeah my baby gurl done did it and did it well.
My god daughter Daijah is who I am talking about.
She reppin me in kindergarten well in E.C.
A honor roll
an oratory genius
Called to speak as kindergarten rep
is head of the dance team
reads on a 2nd grade level
is in every extra curricular activity there is
hell yeah thats my baby.
Taught her well. Not only to defend herself well but to read and eat and play hard too.

Proud of my baby girl. Even if her family is ghetto as hell. LOL

My heart and Joy
DAIJAH

Fathers Day...Mine

Caught Amongst Father's Day

Here upon a day filled with so much and so little
Gazing upon those around me far and near
Those close to me personally and those passing by

Wrought within myself at
Loss
Despair
Disbelief
Shock

For I am not yet that father
Nor do I consider myself to have one myself
Betrayal ripping that from my very chest
For all he is nothing more than a hypocritical lie to me
Fiction, Fantasy...Christian disbelief

My father
Crying over things he did, not me
Looking to teach me when he was no more than the lies that I see
Married to my mother and cheating vehemetly
But yet still trying to teach me
Lead others to the Lord
No sir, not the father to be

Me, a Father
Taken away from me repeatedly
Babies loss from the love that I wished to give
Stripped from the future I sought to give
The last one the hardest
Knowing that if he had lived that she would have killed him
Those words took away my heart
The idea that she would kill my fatherhood from a start
All because of the issues that we had fighting each other from being apart

But God had HIS plan
And I don't sit here and claim to understand
Because I can't say that I do, Most of the time I really don't want to

All I know is I miss my baby
No child of my own
No yells of "Daddy" coming home

So with tears I close my eyes
Stifle the internal and external cries
Knowing the hurt, pain and love that is felt inside
Giving up to this emotional ride
Never once did I thought life would bring me this ride

As my babygirl wishes me Happy Fathers day
It is a joy I relish
For it is true heart of the one lil girl I have cherished
Not blood of my own, yet still my lil girl grown
The lil life that I influenced and loved all of my own

With the swirling thoughts and feelings
I take in this day
Reflected upon my life's stage
Blessing each and every father that has been a father this day

HAPPY FATHERS DAY