Integrity: Standards and Operation

According to Merriam-Webster the definition of integrity is…

integrity

 noun

in·​teg·​ri·​ty | \ in-ˈte-grə-tē  \

Definition of integrity

1: firm adherence to a code of especially moral or artistic values :INCORRUPTIBILITY

2: an unimpaired condition : SOUNDNESS

3: the quality or state of being complete or undivided : COMPLETENESS

Based from a great discussion led by Master Penguin at the MDHL meeting last month it got me to thinking about integrity in the lifestyle and life. Especially after everything that people have done and shown since the meeting.  There were viewpoints and information from both sides of the slash.

My view:

Integrity begins self. Then with those that you are close to and with. Followed by the communities that you are part of and represent.  Lastly the integrity to the general admission public.

Integrity does not mean that you don’t make mistakes. It means that you learn and improve from the mistakes so they are not made again.

What I have seen most lately that have been assaults against integrity

·         Attacks on consent violation and other victims

·         The inability to maintain or honor roles, word and actions

·         The outing and assaults on those new to the lifestyle as well as others

·         The inability of people to think, instead of following popularity and propaganda

These are but a few of the many things.

There are no integrity police. Each and every person is on the honor system with and for themselves. This reveals the make up and foundation of a person.

Are you the person that is bothered because someone said something about what your popular in crowd member does but it was wrong?

Are you the one who agreed to a role, dynamic, relation and can’t fulfill it because of lack of personal integrity?

Or are you scared to try, do and make things happen that you seek because of your fear of your own integrity?

There are these questions and many more. So where and how is your integrity?

Poetry: Welcome to My Church

Welcome to My Church

Come lay upon my alter

Naked unto me

Fully

Mentally

Spiritually

Physically

Nothing hidden

As I hold covenant

Over your

Past

Present

Future

I see inside you

The delicate delicacy

The strength on top and beneath

With that layer of

Submission locked between

I will sacrifice you

To being free

To letting go of all those things

That you cling to and have to do

Automatically

I am not what you have

Previously encountered or seen

I am tailor made to

Exorcise your stubborn resistance

To elevating to what you

Want, need and seek

This knife carves you deep

Leaving marks

Upon your heart and psyche

Twisting your natural

Literal order to things

You struggle

Yet you remain perched

Calling for rebirth and pain

Here with outstretched hands

My knife gleaming

I have shown you the way

The vision that lies at the end

Your sacrifice is all that I need

And destiny

Will be manifested

Here upon this altar

We will be

Take me to church

For the sins are

Denial of destiny

From the chocolatezeus collection  2/8/16  ©

My Original Property

Logic and analysis components engaged!

Of course I am thinking as usual. After all my brain has not caught up with me being dead just yet. And heavy on rotation is my D/s journey along with my Dominant evolution.

Discussing who was my first submissive and started this journey in bdsm. Plus the what about marriage and dynamics conversations.

I was married to a woman that was excellent. I realized that she was my first submissive, whore, slut and full kinkster.  She was my 50's household woman with our modern adjustments. So for those first years I was introduced into bdsm before I officially began my learned journey.

She served me physically, spiritually and more. She was my service whore and fucktoy at all times. I managed and dictated to her and she followed. I had tamed the dominant, independent, sexy and everybody wanted woman to be mine.

Back rubs and massages. Meals cooked. Seeking approval and guidance. Serving made and kept her happy. As she became my daily sex slave. The only way that it could have been better was if we were doing some kink play for the whip cream on top.

A year of vetting and consideration led to her collaring aka wedding ring. It was a time of finding lines of communication, establishing hierarchy and roles. Where my unknown D/s began. Discussing the things that are important and required to her. The attention to detail, the focus, duty and being my slut.

This is where it all began. over two years of her service and dedication to me and our relationship.Giving me the taste of the craving that was already ingrained in me. Until it all came to an end when she died. In the way only she would want to. Cummin and going at the same time.

Dropping into the current time line:

I have chosen to learn and grow properly in this lifestyle. Invested in it more than I was when I was active in the swinger lifestyle. Most of my heaviest learning coming from summer of last year to now. And I know it wasn't all the best things that happened always. There were my mistakes miscommunication and all.

A year spent with a weird, interesting, dynamite sub. One that I have had a hard time stabilizing, strengthening and creating a deep D/s relation with. It is not simple like someone else but it is what I desired and wanted. So the journey continues through the landmines, labyrinth and Chinese finger puzzles.

The dynamic has shown me the juxtapose differences between subs and individuals. Teaching me that I have to work hard with this and put forth effort to get it where I want it to be. For as long as it is in the direction and purpose that is sought. Seeing the key of making, communicating and showing the destination and way to achieve the goal of the dynamic. Fighting the walls of trust, communication, personalities and issues can be the enemy.

But here is the thing. The difficulties in waiting, working on, navigating the minefields and timing are steps to what is the goal at the end. To have the established dynamic that I already have seen and know how grand it is. Getting there with two individuals is the test.

I have seen and experienced different types of subs.

The subs that are so ready to serve and please me are less of an issue in that aspect. But they still require guidance, assignments, attention and individual address to keep them happy, growing and moving forward in the dynamic.

Here is the non glamour thing:

In D/s you deal with subs with their real life aspects. Not just when it is the perfect time to be kinky. That means issues at work, loss of loved ones, mental and physical issues and more. This is when you have to gauge how best to support, give space and handle things. And it is hard to find the right way to react for a while. It takes time, connection, communication and observation to be able to handle it. Hot flashes, mood swings and periods are going to happen. Often and frequently I have experienced. It is all part of management that is required and the commitment that i have placed upon me and my dynamic.

Started out in an unknown D/s relationship with Chocolate Doll. Then started a true and actual knowledge based D/s relationship with lil red.

And here I am. Through the good, the bad and the ugly. Pressing forward to attain the goal of the dynamic that I seek with lil red in the way that is apparent and superior to me.


There you go. Some insight.

Grab your chimichanga's and let's Deadpool tonight!!

Ultimate Submission and Consequences

Yes, yes I am a Dom and this is not about to be about what a submissive is or how there are not that many real submissives or any of that.

Lately I have met and came across subs that are deep in their submission. They have been in high protocols as well as less protocol situations.

I will preface this with. Your submission is wonderful. I love it and will be glad when I have that type of dedicated submission one day. Hell, I wouldn't be a Dom and want the D/s relationship if that wasn't the case. (silly me) And on both sides of the slash it is important to adhere to proper standards and consideration for people, life and reality.

With that said here I go:

The Case of Ultimate Submission or Simply Misguided Submission

In talking to subs they have expressed how deeply their submission goes for their Dominant or Master. The concern and care for them and the household. From making sure all plans are addressed to proper service and etiquette.

Where my concern lies is when that submission becomes a liability, whether on purpose or by accident. I mean when the submissive is being attacked or harmed in a non consensual or even dangerous way then I feel that the sub needs to address that for the sake of their safety. Now, I say address that according to the rules of their dynamic. Unless it is something obviously that needs to break that rule like rape, attempted murder, live autopsy. These thing that would be done for real and not as a scene.

So when I hear about instances that occur where first and foremost the D/M in that situation should never have put the sub and others in, in the first place. I am disheartened that the subs wouldn't see how detrimental of a violation this is at that point. Then I look at the deep rooted submission and understand that it is basically a primal urge that they are dealing with. But the fight or flight feeling should have trumped that when you know it is not a scene or behavior agreed on previously.

The point of D/s and M/s is about the relationship and hierarchy within it. It is about safe and consensual establishment of a relationship dynamic to further and empower those within the relationship.

But in this ultimate form of submission. There is a danger of serious injury and destruction when the sub doesn't and or can't express or remove themselves from the violating situation. Or that the Dom or Master have violated what was already established with harmful intent.

It is a quandry. One that I reflected on after hearing the things that have happened to these people.

But then again I am new. So what do I know?

I guess it is time to eat lunch now. What are you having for dinner today?

The Aspect of Ownership

This has been the chapter I am on currently. And it has been in discussions lately as well.

I know for me it is not something I have taken lightly. Thanks to meeting Sirs that have shown and explained the value and importance in this. Hell, it is the reason why I paid attention, studied and opened up the learning to betterment.

Ownership is important to me because the point is to take care of my s types. To provide the things that they need and to lead. The pride and feeling of saying and the recognition of "she is mine."  That makes me smile and strive to be better. There is nothing like that feeling of ownership.

This is not recognized by society at large. But it is the application of taking care of your submissive. Making sure that they are healthy, moving forward positively and achieving the goals that are set to the betterment. Through attending conferences and events I have seen the recognition of Doms and their subs. The respect, rituals and service of the good dynamics I have seen are inspirational. You can see it with each interaction. The respect from Dom to Dom, Sub to Dom and the relationships between each. The outline that says this is mine and respect is in order and necessary.

It doesn't mean that the sub does not express themselves. I prefer my sub to express herself and I attend to her input and needs. She expresses so that things can be better tailored and the dynamic grow correctly. The protocols and rituals held in place to strengthen everything.

As a Dom it is my purpose to decide the best for my subs. For their service and realization that they are subject to what I decide for them.

I have been able to witness the need from the sub's point of view as well. The need for ownership that can give purpose and comfort. Part of that strengthening in the dynamic bond.

The key is applying the proper things to the sub that will allow her to understand, feel and accept her ownership. And that is not a simple task at all times or for all. But if it was simple more people would do it.

I am glad that I am learning and applying. Just have to finish the equation and complete


Keep your head up and do what you can to live for today and tomorrow.


*back to ABM*