Goldeneye is a James Bond book and movie. Unfortunately the movie starred a fake and horrific bond. The should be somewhere knitting instead of messing up James Bond, actor timothy "scarecrow and mrs king" dalton.
But more importantly for this post it was a game we played when i lived in EC. Indiana. We played multi player and picked a character and then just went running around the game gathering, weapons, ammo and everything to keep killing off everyone else.
That feeling of fighting everyone, me against everyone and everything on a constant war is especially how things have seen, felt and been.
The week is coming to a close thankfully. After looking at the silence and distance that was shown I had to nod my head. The craziness that has happened in so many aspects this week from work and on. To making sure to support, help and manage the unexpected events that have happened with little one and others that have talked or shared with me.
Comfort, support and even importance have gained new purchase and meaning.
All I can do is laugh, tilt my head and grab my weapons as I defend against all comers. Close, unknown and in between.
Enjoy your weekend. i am sure there is plenty for you to get into
Friday, May 19, 2017
Thursday, May 18, 2017
Them and Their Solicitation
With a discussion about submissives and slaves being solicited by unwanted advances it made me think about the fake doms that solicit my submissives.
It is annoying that they have no respect. And it is a whole lot more annoying and detrimental when a submissive lets them do it and get away with it. Like when you leave your submissive and the bitch ass shows up afterwards to see them. Or the constant shady operations of contact with them.
But as we discussed it is a submissive or slaves job to address these things appropriately. And as a Dominant I expect my submissive to be able to handle, address and remove these individuals.
In one case the bitch ass is friends with one and busy pursuing the other one and previously was in a former things ear as well.
As usual knowledge is key and people show you exactly what they are about by action and inaction.
It is annoying that they have no respect. And it is a whole lot more annoying and detrimental when a submissive lets them do it and get away with it. Like when you leave your submissive and the bitch ass shows up afterwards to see them. Or the constant shady operations of contact with them.
But as we discussed it is a submissive or slaves job to address these things appropriately. And as a Dominant I expect my submissive to be able to handle, address and remove these individuals.
In one case the bitch ass is friends with one and busy pursuing the other one and previously was in a former things ear as well.
As usual knowledge is key and people show you exactly what they are about by action and inaction.
Tuesday, May 16, 2017
Getting Older is Not for the Weak
It is funny when I wasn't taking care of myself I was and felt fine. When I started taking care of myself everything went to shit. lol
I should be like merle and try and find me someone to take care of me when I get old. But, umm hell no to that! I need a woman that we gonna keep fucking, causing chaos and riding until we die decades down the road. That chick I can still smack her ass and say "Give it up you sexy bitch" when we are in our 90s.
The doctor visit didn't go as planned nor was it a bad experience. I will have to thank steve for recommending him to me. But he did give me more news on what was going on and all I could do was laugh and it to the list of things going on already. He was funny and personable which i like in my doctors along with knowledge and skill.
Made me think about how easy it was when I was younger. Days of no sleep and doing everything and all over the place. Now that has slowed down a tad bit. I am still on the go but not as full bore as i was before.
Taking care of yourself after you have been invincible is torture!
Oh well...
Time to armor up for the next episode. Coming to a theater near you soon
lmao
I should be like merle and try and find me someone to take care of me when I get old. But, umm hell no to that! I need a woman that we gonna keep fucking, causing chaos and riding until we die decades down the road. That chick I can still smack her ass and say "Give it up you sexy bitch" when we are in our 90s.
The doctor visit didn't go as planned nor was it a bad experience. I will have to thank steve for recommending him to me. But he did give me more news on what was going on and all I could do was laugh and it to the list of things going on already. He was funny and personable which i like in my doctors along with knowledge and skill.
Made me think about how easy it was when I was younger. Days of no sleep and doing everything and all over the place. Now that has slowed down a tad bit. I am still on the go but not as full bore as i was before.
Taking care of yourself after you have been invincible is torture!
Oh well...
Time to armor up for the next episode. Coming to a theater near you soon
lmao
Monday, May 15, 2017
The Storm Within the StormWatch
I enjoyed watching Fifth Element at the theater yesterday. Would have been better with someone but that is life. (I will have to fix that) Nothing like laughing at the tall, blue amazon singing opera and doing the p diddy remix to it. Or Bruce Willis' negotiating skills lol
The year has gone by fast it seems. I was asked what I was going to do for my birthday next month and I had to laugh because I had a plan but it had to get scrapped. So my answer was probably just stay to myself. The original plan was the girls and Myself with plenty of debauchery, sadism and pleasure. Then I had to realize that wasn't going to work since they need their time to themselves. So I will probably chill or figure something out and see folk separately at some point.
In the interaction and relating world I went back to old school me. I stopped trying to make things happen and just STOPPED! Let things play out how they are going to play out. There is no need to beat dead horses. Just toss them in the processor and keep it moving. There were a few comments i think when all started to see a bit of difference but I am sure that was chalked up so whatever other reasons.
It has been an interesting transition. It hasn't not been completely old school because of adaptations and responsibilities currently. But it has taken on a darker path than before because of the few light side aspects. The pricks of cold tendrils that would have bothered me before because of love, emotion and feelings is not there or it just doesn't register anymore. Hell, I know it is there because it is a part of me and since I am still the living dead it is still attached. lol
Heart...
yeah that thing is still attached
Mind...
still won't stop working dammit!
Ummm, I don't think there is anything else though. Yaayy!
Apparently once again I weathered the storms to become a worst storm. The distance led to the emptiness of calm. Things organized and put into their assigned sections. Dedication remains.
It is like internal cryogenic stasis. But that was the way that the "just let things happen," way goes.
I do know one thing. Beast mode will be let out even more as soon as the opportunity arrives for a unable to forget session.
And I am out this muthafucka!!
The year has gone by fast it seems. I was asked what I was going to do for my birthday next month and I had to laugh because I had a plan but it had to get scrapped. So my answer was probably just stay to myself. The original plan was the girls and Myself with plenty of debauchery, sadism and pleasure. Then I had to realize that wasn't going to work since they need their time to themselves. So I will probably chill or figure something out and see folk separately at some point.
In the interaction and relating world I went back to old school me. I stopped trying to make things happen and just STOPPED! Let things play out how they are going to play out. There is no need to beat dead horses. Just toss them in the processor and keep it moving. There were a few comments i think when all started to see a bit of difference but I am sure that was chalked up so whatever other reasons.
It has been an interesting transition. It hasn't not been completely old school because of adaptations and responsibilities currently. But it has taken on a darker path than before because of the few light side aspects. The pricks of cold tendrils that would have bothered me before because of love, emotion and feelings is not there or it just doesn't register anymore. Hell, I know it is there because it is a part of me and since I am still the living dead it is still attached. lol
Heart...
yeah that thing is still attached
Mind...
still won't stop working dammit!
Ummm, I don't think there is anything else though. Yaayy!
Apparently once again I weathered the storms to become a worst storm. The distance led to the emptiness of calm. Things organized and put into their assigned sections. Dedication remains.
It is like internal cryogenic stasis. But that was the way that the "just let things happen," way goes.
I do know one thing. Beast mode will be let out even more as soon as the opportunity arrives for a unable to forget session.
And I am out this muthafucka!!
Sunday, May 14, 2017
Ghost Rider...the Pattern is Full
To say that things have been rough lately is like cotton candy compared to a brick to eat.
There were moments I actually wanted to seek comfort. Then I realized that there was no one there for that position and I resumed my post.
I make my desires, attentions, wants and all known. In direct fashion and up front. This comes at a high risk of negative response from them but well worth the cost. Because only the strong and suitable should be of interest and with me. So, I will always be upfront and direct regardless of how they feel and think about it. Never will be someone cringing from the beginning because of their past, feelings and fears.
There have been some inquiries. While the interesting things are going on I am observing the rest. Looking at who they are communicating with and they are not. Who they are befriending and their positioning.
I had posted a pic and had a conversation about the aspects of what is important to someone and them showing that importance. Because as we discussed if there is not a show of importance that those involved understand and can view then things are not going to go well. As was discussed it is not an every day or every hour thing. It is not about gifts or something else tangible either. It is about that connection that you are supposed to have with those that you are relating to.
My desire and need for show of importance is always spoken of when I am in a relation with someone as well as the friends. Of course in relationships the importance is shown differently than friends.
Regardless, reinforcement of having worth and importance is a prime directive.
Discussions about happiness have occured as usual. But the discussions are happening because their happiness is not mine or even defined similarly. What they see as how I need to be happy is their view and not what goes on in my life. Appreciate the concern about my happiness though. My happiness is based on things I express directly to each person individually.
Well sitting here in the tower overlooking everything. Looking at the pattern of distance and disconnection. The pattern of self destructive behavior. The actions out of the want and need to serve and please. Each one tasked to their own path. I merely await the way they take their path to see where things will lead.
There were moments I actually wanted to seek comfort. Then I realized that there was no one there for that position and I resumed my post.
I make my desires, attentions, wants and all known. In direct fashion and up front. This comes at a high risk of negative response from them but well worth the cost. Because only the strong and suitable should be of interest and with me. So, I will always be upfront and direct regardless of how they feel and think about it. Never will be someone cringing from the beginning because of their past, feelings and fears.
There have been some inquiries. While the interesting things are going on I am observing the rest. Looking at who they are communicating with and they are not. Who they are befriending and their positioning.
I had posted a pic and had a conversation about the aspects of what is important to someone and them showing that importance. Because as we discussed if there is not a show of importance that those involved understand and can view then things are not going to go well. As was discussed it is not an every day or every hour thing. It is not about gifts or something else tangible either. It is about that connection that you are supposed to have with those that you are relating to.
My desire and need for show of importance is always spoken of when I am in a relation with someone as well as the friends. Of course in relationships the importance is shown differently than friends.
Regardless, reinforcement of having worth and importance is a prime directive.
Discussions about happiness have occured as usual. But the discussions are happening because their happiness is not mine or even defined similarly. What they see as how I need to be happy is their view and not what goes on in my life. Appreciate the concern about my happiness though. My happiness is based on things I express directly to each person individually.
Well sitting here in the tower overlooking everything. Looking at the pattern of distance and disconnection. The pattern of self destructive behavior. The actions out of the want and need to serve and please. Each one tasked to their own path. I merely await the way they take their path to see where things will lead.
Poetry...Chocolate Doll: the Blueprint of Motherhood
Chocolate Doll: The Blueprint of Motherhood
I watch each tear
drop
Burning like molten
lava down each cheek
Vision of our child
Held close to your
ample bosom
Your presence and
smile
So soothing
An expert at
motherhood
Even without your own
child
As I reach to touch
both of your faces
To grasp the blissful
energy that you both emit
That glow
That golden, bright
Glow
That vision stuck
From the time we
discussed having children
To the moment when we
knew the results
Even after it is dead
and gone
Discussions
Ok disagreements
Of how to deal with
our girl and our boy
Still we remained
The perfect tandem
Dynamic opposites
To raise children
into greatness
Honestly it would
have and was going to be
Mostly you
The nurturing,
understanding supportive mother
While I was merely
the overbearing father
Your motherhood
keeping the scale balanced
Well, tipped to the
side of functionality *lol*
You were
Mother earth
The crazy, sexy, cool
mama
The comforter within
their storm
So much love
Extraordinary compassion
Given so intimately
Even to those who
were
Estranged to you
Children loved you
The parents adored
you
And I wanted you to
be
The mother of my
children
No matter what
You held the title
Personified
Motherhood
What it is supposed
to be
Look like
And all encompassing
From the
chocolatezeus collection 5/14/17 ©
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