Relational Epitome

Relationship Singularity

Here with someone
Alleged relationship
A supposed union

Yet why am I alone

Deceived true feelings
Received negligence
Pepertrated Presence

Yet why am I alone

Always here
Through the smoke and fire
Branded, banished

Yet why am I alone

Dedication
No matter the rough ride
Hard core ride

Yet why am I alone

Flight by night
No land clear in sight
No matter wrong or right

Yet why am I alone

Remaining your clear backbone
Even when you just want to be left alone
All I hear is that caustic tone

Yet why am I alone


From the chocolatezeus collection ©

Elevated Hands

Within These Hands

Here I hold within these two hands
Life
Love
The Future

Grasping through the
Frailness
Futility
Adversaries

Cloaked in the best of self
No longer having to creep in stealth of myself
Part of a new something else
A new million Grand upon myself
Love and concern for self more than everything else

Finally

Myself in my corner
Regardless of anything else
No one else
Me and Myself

Heart and Soul my TRUE WEALTH
True friends
True love
Revealed their true selves

Disturbance
Anomosity
Nonchalantness dealt
Not once detracting from the beautiful self

The pungent aroma of disregard
Disrespect the usual trump card
Played repeatedly
And played slammed hard
As if that was always the ONLY card

Far through it all
I stand PROUDLY tall
Still loving
Supporting the Called
Representative of the Winter and the Fall


From the Chocolatezeus collection ©

Here Without You

WITHOUT YOU

How is it that we came here
What brought us together then
Here in our passionate whirlwind
Anger, love, lust and traveling
Our relationship bedazzling
Something that others had no choice but to see
We did it effortlessly
For we were always meant to be

How did I come to this point
Where I just can’t be without you
Where my day is not right without you
Longing once again for that first day I found you

Never knew how hard I had fallen
My strength failed me within your presence
Missing you day by day
A part of my heart ripped completely apart
Finally that mental smoke screen did part
My heart completely unfolded, completely fallen apart
Brought in to the light from the dark

How did I come to this point
Where I just can’t be without you
Where my day is not right without you
Longing once again for that first day I found you

Our bond grew strong
We fought each other on and on
Not realizing completely what was going on
Fighting each other time after time
Seeking what we had already found
Bound by the feelings that we had found

How did I come to this point
Where I just can’t be without you
Where my day is not right without you
Longing once again for that first day I found you

Bitter instances revealed
Because our fates had already been sealed
We LOVE each other for REAL
Love is what made us fight each other with zeal
To fight for the strength that we feel
Watching the coldness of hearts peel
Even time won’t be able to steal

How did I come to this point
Where I just can’t be without you
Where my day is not right without you
Longing once again for that first day I found you

From the Chocolatezeus collection 7/21/06 ©

Something Sang, Something Said, Something Felt

Must Be Nice

I found you
My diamond in the rough
A total coincidence
Yet something that I learned I couldn’t easily give up

Growing into the formidable two that we are
You held me down, even when I was dragging the ground
Fought through it all
From the fights to side splitting falls

Come home to you
Knowing that you were there
Greeted with that gifted smile
Even if it took a little while

Maybe it easy to always come home
To get rid of the thoughts to roam
My Baby was right there at home

See…
Pussy is what it is…something to get into, something to do
But what I got is what makes me happy at home

When life has come completely apart
My strength lays in your hands
My heart and soul has left me
You are there to brace it all together
To keep everything together

For I am not invincible
Nor is life all that sensible
Many times I have been left defenseless and expendable
You stayed by my side just holding on

You… the strong woman
Is why I love where I belong
Here with you in my arms
Or walking along laughing with your loud tone

For no matter our faults or issues
Acceptance was a must
To peas of different strands
Yet in our Unique pod was simply Marvelous US
No one could understand us

My wifey
Mother of my unborn
Here upon your bosom is where I rest during the storms

No need for party scenes
I continue chilling at home with my queen
Lets laugh and talk
Play and profess our life’s interests

You are my only FAMILY interest
Life ahead of me benefits
God’s blessings represented

No wonder I am content
Happy no matter what the incident
Knowing we can make it through any event
Our Union the TRUE REPRESENTATIVE

From the chocolatezeus collection 7/17/06 ©

Odin's Moment

Cast upon my back I hold so much
Sorrow, pain, life's etheral touch
A world upon my shoulders
At times bucvkled and smoldering

Sitting here alone
Enemy loved
Hatred Shown

Stationed in life's orbital zone
Standard issue personal comfort zone
Providing a compassionate tone
Commanding a stronghold for refuge from the storm

Listening intently
Helping vehemotely
The personal counselor that you see

Queried and never understood
For my understanding rings in the hood
True enemy indeed
Perched upon life's dark steed
Continuing the battle proceeds
Smiting thee

For the scowl upon my face
Shows the truth on life's fate
Prayers and thoughst go up for all sakes
I am designed and destined to handle this weight

I see all
What was
What is
What will be

For you
I oversee
Superseed
Breathe and breathe

Guardian
Protector
Covering you in love and caring

I
Odin upon my throne...daringly, caring, solitude upon my own


from the chocolatezeus collection (c)

Journey: Hell's Angels

Darkness falls upon the twilight of this life
Given up upon that search for a wife
Tired in the constant brutal fights

Seeing red with passionate anger
Ignoring the pains and danger
All to make it work you see
To simply fulfill my dream

I had thought I had everything
But I didn't have myself
The thing that made everything

Here on my astral plane
I look at what
I have wanted
I have had
The virtual grab bag

See I never opened up fully
Knew that no one could handle or understand me
Showed them the complete me
The one they could handle things
Yet it was too late for them to open their eyes and see

Captain of this ship
Shaking my head at this
Illiad and Odyssey trip

See I have faced:
The evil twins
The Minotaurs horns
The two episodes with the dark beasts from the sea

Bringing me adventures and plenty of things to think
Catalyst at time to drive you to drink

It brought the necessary changes in me
Solidified strength in me
Idle tolerance ceased
Acceptance of less than required ceased
Bloody, brutal, vindictive actions proceed
Now there is simple
This true journey

My peace

from the chocolatezeus collection (c) 7/6/06

Elusive Apprhension of the RAW

Thats right we search dilligently, sometimes crazily
For that RAW

Real
Ass
Woman

Sought after like the lochness monster
Berift of fairytale pondering
Searching for the one and only
Sifting through the pseudo and phoney

Yeah I found my match
That chick with class
Damn I guess I will pass
Because she is just another one that showed her ass

Different looks
Different backgrounds
Different lives
Going to the same results
What the fuck

The words LOVE
Used strategically
Something to weild against me

The journy continues
Still in need of that RAW on my personal menu
A loving, married venue
Pulsing throughout my every sinew

Still serching for that RAW
That elusive midnight star
Transcending my life by far
Mirroring my life as the top star

I know it is hit and miss
Reaching for this one time gift
Sift after sift
Rifling through the bullshit
Finding the pure evidence
That this chick, that chick was never Heaven sent.

My journey remains most RAW
Search and Rescue the only worthwile part
For is it our lives we must save
Stave the negative waves

My RAW is worth wait
But damn just hurry up for Christ's sake


from the chocolatezeus collection 6/19/06 (c)

Proud of My Baby!!!

Hell yeah my baby gurl done did it and did it well.
My god daughter Daijah is who I am talking about.
She reppin me in kindergarten well in E.C.
A honor roll
an oratory genius
Called to speak as kindergarten rep
is head of the dance team
reads on a 2nd grade level
is in every extra curricular activity there is
hell yeah thats my baby.
Taught her well. Not only to defend herself well but to read and eat and play hard too.

Proud of my baby girl. Even if her family is ghetto as hell. LOL

My heart and Joy
DAIJAH

Fathers Day...Mine

Caught Amongst Father's Day

Here upon a day filled with so much and so little
Gazing upon those around me far and near
Those close to me personally and those passing by

Wrought within myself at
Loss
Despair
Disbelief
Shock

For I am not yet that father
Nor do I consider myself to have one myself
Betrayal ripping that from my very chest
For all he is nothing more than a hypocritical lie to me
Fiction, Fantasy...Christian disbelief

My father
Crying over things he did, not me
Looking to teach me when he was no more than the lies that I see
Married to my mother and cheating vehemetly
But yet still trying to teach me
Lead others to the Lord
No sir, not the father to be

Me, a Father
Taken away from me repeatedly
Babies loss from the love that I wished to give
Stripped from the future I sought to give
The last one the hardest
Knowing that if he had lived that she would have killed him
Those words took away my heart
The idea that she would kill my fatherhood from a start
All because of the issues that we had fighting each other from being apart

But God had HIS plan
And I don't sit here and claim to understand
Because I can't say that I do, Most of the time I really don't want to

All I know is I miss my baby
No child of my own
No yells of "Daddy" coming home

So with tears I close my eyes
Stifle the internal and external cries
Knowing the hurt, pain and love that is felt inside
Giving up to this emotional ride
Never once did I thought life would bring me this ride

As my babygirl wishes me Happy Fathers day
It is a joy I relish
For it is true heart of the one lil girl I have cherished
Not blood of my own, yet still my lil girl grown
The lil life that I influenced and loved all of my own

With the swirling thoughts and feelings
I take in this day
Reflected upon my life's stage
Blessing each and every father that has been a father this day

HAPPY FATHERS DAY

Anchored In My Life

This is dedicated to the one person that came out the blue and became God's blessing to me. All I can say is THANK YOU!

Within these buffeted winds
Storms rage
Destruction cascades
But I am secure
Anchored to an unmoving shore

You
My anchor

Heartfelt and pure
Looking past the folk lore
To merely see the man that adores
An always opens up doors
With you radiating along every floor

You
My anchor

When all else fails
You always prevail
Ready to set sail with me
Not afrad of the adventure we seek

You
My anchor

The lifeline of my heartbeat
Comforting me while I sleep
Producing my ecstasy
Completely giving of me

You
My anchor

With you I drit aimlessly
Back and forth
Yielding the destruction you see
Not what it should be
NO longer am I the storm that people see

Thankfully
You anchor me


from the chocolatezeus collection 6/10/06 (c)

From the Depths of Within

Your Fear

Lost within your nagging thoughts
Against this stone wall you brought
A bitter fight never ends
True love the catalyst

Unconditional love the culprit
Compassionate fear against it
Anger, rememberence bring interferrence
Blocking our blessings
Rekindled stresses

Fear of a past
Fear of taking off that angry mask
The Ultimate fear of what is meant
Fear of a union Heaven sent

Now the dark fears have been viewed
Proven to be things that were operationally skewed
Light shed upon it all
Showing reality's tough wall

Release that tight fearful grip
Give life the time to represent
Allow fear to be contained
Opening yourself to life's domain

Fear is but an obstacle
Conquer it
Tame it
Give yourself true credence

Ust it as it was intended
Far from moving through life
Making us think
Live our lives

Tame that fearful ride
Those fearful cries

Rejoice inside

Without fear
You don't need to hide


from the chocolatezeus collection 6/6/06 (c)

Something more from the Mind

Momento's of the Heart and Soul

Despair
Dissapointment
Loneliness
Beating my soul like a bass drum

The cadence deafening
Causing internal insanity
My mind trapped underneath this mountain
Held down by sheer weight of will
Excruciating thoughts

Here
In this moment
Caught
Unreleased


Me this caged
Trapped
Carnal beast

Seeking
Searching
Physical and etheral release

from the chocolatezeus collection 5/22/06 (c)

Silent Regret

Instilled rage
Waves of ocean sized emotion
Everything welled up inside of me
Haunted and taunted
I sometimes just wish it would end

But this silent torture is what makes me a MAN
For so long I denied its existence
Fought each inch of it tooth and nail
Never gaining ground
Never overcoming it at all

Hurricane winds buffeting my soul
Bring me to my knees
Buckling every corner of my soul

A laundry list of past discressions
Things a time machine would fix and reckon
But that is not going to happen
I am here in this void
Vortex of mind and matter
Caught by the things in my life
That TRULY matter

So I yield to my soul
Speaking from and to my heart
Giving way to repentence
The need to grasp the things that I missed in my past start

It is not a whine or anger
Just the bleeding
Piercing of my heart
For it misses what was
Gives in to what should have been

Yielding to a future that will be
Still licking wounds from the regret that life did breathe
The actions mine own
Though I am grown
I couldn't avoid the faults of my own at that time

So I sip my comfort gently
Caressing the wounds that I still keep
Understanding the reasons and regret
Wishing to change past history


from the chocolatezeus collection (c) 5/22/06