Silent Regret

Instilled rage
Waves of ocean sized emotion
Everything welled up inside of me
Haunted and taunted
I sometimes just wish it would end

But this silent torture is what makes me a MAN
For so long I denied its existence
Fought each inch of it tooth and nail
Never gaining ground
Never overcoming it at all

Hurricane winds buffeting my soul
Bring me to my knees
Buckling every corner of my soul

A laundry list of past discressions
Things a time machine would fix and reckon
But that is not going to happen
I am here in this void
Vortex of mind and matter
Caught by the things in my life
That TRULY matter

So I yield to my soul
Speaking from and to my heart
Giving way to repentence
The need to grasp the things that I missed in my past start

It is not a whine or anger
Just the bleeding
Piercing of my heart
For it misses what was
Gives in to what should have been

Yielding to a future that will be
Still licking wounds from the regret that life did breathe
The actions mine own
Though I am grown
I couldn't avoid the faults of my own at that time

So I sip my comfort gently
Caressing the wounds that I still keep
Understanding the reasons and regret
Wishing to change past history


from the chocolatezeus collection (c) 5/22/06