All I Feel

is RAGE

Memories of Team Titan

Well I started the day with a workout. It went well. At least I got up and went. I came back to try and take a shower and eat. The parental units were not having none of that. I needed to outside and work in the yard. Since there is so much they can and should do in the house. But hey the flower bed in the back apparently was important. So I did it, came back in to shower and eat and leave. I had to hide and detox at the cigar shop. Being near them is toxic, destroying and stressing.

Smoking JFR 770s as I tried to relax. People coming in and talking to Tim. So many come in there regularly. And today was no different. We know each other by face and me by what I smoke. lol  So one of the older men came in with another guy called Don. Found out that his wife died a few days ago. My mind went out to him. He said he was trying to resusitate his wife with the 911 operator on the phone. And it all brought back memories.

Reminded me of Team Titan. My wife and I were and are Team Titan.  That night I will never forget. Her riding me and orgasming so hard twice and me getting up to turn the fan on for her and turning around to watch her roll off the bed to the floor. I was stunned. Like I told the elderly man today. It is like you are in a tunnel and everything is in super slow motion. I felt numb and dead until after they took her body away. But I can always laugh at she went out in a way that only she would think of doing. She died having a seizure from a massive orgasm. I want to be fucked to death too. It is on my bucket list.

Even my evil heart goes out to the good folk that have to deal with someone they are close to dying. It is a disheartening and traumatic feeling. With HQ I wish I could be there for her. But things are what they are. All I can do is be available.

Interestingly enough my excitement died. Realizing possibilities and how things are going have been the contributing factor to that. I am ready anyway. I need to get away. Seek some comfort. See how things go this time.

Like Gears of War....I am the Coalition!

Live From the Pits of Doom

Well, Apocalypse intensive training started this week. I am doing better with the workouts, weapons than I am with eating. I am not eating enough. Just like my doctor keeps telling me. Hell, I just don't want to eat most of the time. Which is really crazy.

The trip to and from getting the parental units was hell on steroids. I still am tire and sore. Maybe that might also be to working out and not eating enough as well. But damn that. This trip helped increase the pain.

The things you do for and as duty. Duty is doing what you have to or are charged to do because of whatever factor or factors. I am not a fan of the parental units but I have to do stuff because if I don't it will be a disaster anyway or even worst. It doesn't make me happy and I am very happy in my solitude.

Hmmm, I will just say things are weird right now. A weird place at a weird time. Isn't that normal, you ask?  Not to this level funny person. Anyway, chalk it up with the mountains of everything else.

Well with what is going down. Some music will speak louder than I need to.




Until the next time

Dawn of Chaos

Well I started the workout and eating program from the fitorbit site. I definitely have no been looking forward to this but it must be done like so many other things in life.  The eating part did not go as well as the workout. I didn't get a chance to go to the store until today so my menu wasn't available until the evening. But I did eat three meals though. Two of those were halves of my club sandwich from harris teeter.

I am ready for my therapy. What does that consist of? Marathon sex. Travelling. Infliction of a lot of pain. Plus comfort and relaxation. That tends to be mixed in with laughter, great convo, good drinks and great food. Alas that is missing as usual. I miss the days when it was a lot more abundant. But when it happens I am all over it.

When needs come a calling:
Sex has to be wild, rough, mixed and passionate. That fuck me to death type of ordeal. When she is ready to go the distance and let it all go. That orgasmic domination that is my specialty.

Connected. When we interact there is a mutual interest. That spark that flickers into a flame quickly. Blazing and keeping the desire there.  Because I can enjoy your titties and nipples but if there is no connect then you are just a body with nothing attached to it with me.

Sadism. The need to bend you to my pleasure. To provide myself with the most enjoyable pleasures of your pain. Each episode a lasting string in the whole net.

Comfort, pleasure and passion. The keys to smiles, grins and memories.  The things that bring peace and tranquility. If you have these things and can apply them properly to me. Then you will be in the winner's circle prominently.

The journey continues...

Will try to do better with this menu today. And I think I will try and hit the gym again since I probably won't be able to workout again until the weekend with all this mess that is going on.

Beam me up Uhura. I am going to fuck them sexy curves off of you!!!

OH...And

Tomorrow starts an uncharted journey into working out and eating better. The public needs to pray on this. Because my already bad attitude might get worst.

In need of daily gratuitous sex that I am not getting and now food choices plus structured exercise. I am not sure we don't have a Godzilla moment a brewing. lol

But I said I would try and that I would be concerned about me. So I am going to stick to it.

Damn the loss of immortality. Damn it all to hell!!!

Legend and Fable on a Dominant Time Table

Things have been on a see saw but I remain strong.

Parental units are the catalyst for mental institution. Dealing with them is taxing as they are deteriorating. Going to get them to bring them here definitely is not something I am looking forward to. But as usual I do what I must regardless. Duty remains the same no matter whatever is going on.

As a man I am more comfortable with supporting information and actions that are in the direction of a destination or goal. This is especially the case with dating. Probably why I have hated it so much from the beginning. But I am happy to know that at least we agree that we are in the realm of dating. Instead of just ambiguous, apparitions of nothing.

Because I don't have years of experience under my belt it is asked what am I looking for and the direction I want to take. The answer is not simple but as with being a caveman I know where I am heading and what I want. A dynamic that is tailor made for me with a sub that serves and ready to fully embrace her role with a passion. Active in the community and strengthening our dynamic. At times playful, as growth, experience and solidification of our relationship grows. The dynamic is dependent on who is involved. Not one size fits all. So I observe, analyze and act according to how things are in the relationship. And as I have seen with HQ things can be way off center.  With my attention span according to my interest either we are vibing or I am distant. Gladly working on a relation that goes both ways. Meaning, we both want and work on it. Aspects that can be hard for many in the modern age.

Mr Wolf and Lil Red is definitely an interesting thing. It doesn't hurt that she is sexy and I like that. And sexually keeps up with me. Time has shown many things. And now it is time to Unleash that Darkside Beast that has been chained up and ready. I have been waiting to be able to release, give this sadistic taste of pleasure and pain. The countdown is blinking brightly.

Right now I am at the cusp. Things have come to a point where change has been made and the next journey is wide open. I remain constant but I have allowed for some not normal thinking and action. *lol* The gray area as HQ likes to mention. We will see in the end was it worth it or not in this experiment. I have already evolved into the advanced caveman that I am. I wonder how much more caveman can I attain.

I am just ready to get a move on.

Living Fable

Fairy tale

Twisted and unreal

Just legendary

Weird

She says

Mr Wolf

Why are you looking like that at me

I respond

That ass

Those titties

That shape

Down the rabbit hole I was drained

Her mind a Chinese finger puzzle

As I attempt to overcome it all

Fell from my beanstalk

Landed in her labyrinth

The mythical portal

To entering her being

Yes I am the Minotaur

Trapped in a labyrinth

As I pied piper towards

Sadistic goals and wants

A complex dynamic

That I ear marked and want

Like Atlas

Holding up the universe upon my shoulders

Watching destiny unfold

Remaining whole

Fantasy

Legend

Reality is

Whatever I make of it

Reality

To

Fable

Culmination

Unstoppable

From the chocolatezeus collection  5/10/15  ©

Choking Alice in Wonderland

It is and has been frustrating. Plain and simple.  Then again, that is what humans are for and amount to. And then there are the ones that hold the crown of that arena. I tend to associate, come across them and more.

I am on that Ice T "Rhyme Pays." Under the labyrinth is where I may be stranded. But I will make sure that a nuke is used to destroy it all. Make things glow with purpose and design.

Where am I at? Answer: on my throne. Implementing and escalating the *scorched earth policy.*

Humans want me to conform and change. Become a softer, non caveman version of me. That has gone on always and permanently. But as Ru and I discussed. I am not going to change. Just be me and remain Zeus above and below all things.

I realized I found comfort and pleasure. And in doing so my vigilance was affected. With the change I understood I would be torn about it. But I only can account for and control me, myself and I.  Just had to take the good with the bad. The comfort and things are diminished quite a bit. Not as much as with the humans. But still transmuted elements. Still it is a strange thing.

There is no path.

The land is more than topsy turvy.

So....

I will:
Predict
Accept
and Conquer

Age of Apocalypse

Friday came with a high and low note. So I guess that is astral plane balance or something. But, I am glad that this opportunity has arrived.  So much has been going on and occured in the last years. It is time to bring the Four Horsemen and the Evolution of Darkness to bear.

April is normally a mash up for me. With the memories of CD and Big Ma dying. At times it weighs on me even when it is not obvious. I witnessed that totally this April. Some revelations came. Other things made me think about my responses. And other things reinforced my decisions.

Like Apocalypse. Mutated from the beginning. Constant force of darkness. No matter the time period or timeline. Simply an eternal constant. And that is probably best since Ru Ru continues to forbid me to cease to exist. lol

HQ, has what I need and I enjoy her. Even with how super weird and difficult she is. I will always be Commander CaveMan. But I did see a few different view points. It has become a matter of existence now.  Like Black Sheep said.."The Choice is Yours."  It is not that hard to figure out the importance, investment and presence that is represented.

Still cataloging comic books for insurance. And the funny part is that I don't have nowhere as many as I use to have currently. But it is taking some time and effort to document them. At least I didn't have to make up a spreadsheet for it. Excel is not my damn friend.

I had a kick standing in line yesterday for Free Comic day at the shop. One guy was dressed up as a storm trooper. A lady was a cute scarlet witch. And some of the kids were dressed up. I honestly wasn't expecting that many people to be there. I am thinking I will stop by the shop for their secret wars kick off on wednesday.

I do not want to be bothered with going back to bama to go get them to drive up here. Especially since I can't fly down there. She is carrying on about it and he is still claiming he is going to drive. I had to explain to her if I come down there I am leaving the same day I get there. I am not waiting to the next day. I need to get it over and done with.

Flight booked for Shibaricon. I am ready. I am excited. It is the first time and an unknown. And being a novice kind of daunting but I am looking forward to a spectacular experience. Plus I get much needed HQ time in the process. Which will be very dangerous for her anyway.  Let the rope fest begin!

So things are moving on up. Definitely a better place. New duties coming up. Some time with HQ. Shibaricon.  And I need a serious break of fun and relaxation.

Let the Age of Apocalypse begin.

All hail Apocalypse!!

Movement In Silence

After some discussion and some more entries in the unnecessary chaos department. I am still here and breathing.

Adventures in dealing with the parental units continue. No telling what is really going on or the consequences of things that were going on today.  Chalk it up to getting blind sided by something in the future as usual.

After the weekends reveal there was discussion about my dating practices and relations. Specifically my inability to have a gray area and relationship like trying to be friends with exes or those I am through with.

I have always operated on there is no need to go backwards or hold onto things that are not for or with you. That means exes, ex friends, relatives and all. I merely leave them in the past where they were. It has been suggested that I am using energy and stuff in doing this and the negative experiences that I had. But, if I am not asked about it or something doesn't happen that reminds me of those episodes then I don't think about it.

When a female has decided that this isn't want she wants or we are not seeking the same thing then I merely hit the off switch. And I am told I am missing out on opportunity in this. Plus that I should open up with the humans. lol  I never dealt with or had much of any communication with the past ones. I guess because I have gotten soft and mentally slow in my old age I might do this in this current case. It is still up in the air but it is possible. Only because the investment for me. But that investment has also been put into the fortress of solitude already. The outcome this year will be interesting.  Not what I sought or wanted but Oh Well. Just do the Zeus half a female equation protocol.

I have had some good times over the year. A lot of calm, comfort and satisfaction. More than normal. Well, with the exception of being married or with Ru Ru. I will have to do more detailed documentation of the last year so that I can have the memories. Look back and remember the that was then moments.

I watched Avengers: Age of Ultron last night. James Spader did Ultron well. I enjoyed the action and I saw the set ups during the movie for spin offs and everything. Then saw the connection with the movie and Agents of Shield in tonight's episode.   The Hawkeye twist was interesting. I definitely didn't remember that in comic universe.  The new Avengers I really not too energetic about though. It is like they are the west coast avengers basically.  Vision was interesting but I was expecting more. Vision did show his bridge between human and AI world. The action was a good clip when it was going on. But they also did have a love storyline in there for the non comic intelligent people.

I need a lot of comfort, peace and pleasure right now. I am going to have to really look at getting away and doing the Zeus thing. Because it is overdue and I have been on empty for a long time right now.

Unleash the Dogs of War!!!

Welcome to the Terrordome

A new week begins. No longer a continuation from the last one. That came to a resounding end.

A weekend of no sleep is rather therapeutic. Plenty of time to think, get things done and transmute parts of me.

A meeting today and maybe I will cook something to eat today.

After all of this I need an ABM vacation.

Live and learn. Do not repeat or delineate from who and what you must be.

All Night Long

I have been on that everclear and tea mixed with cigars all night long. No sleep for the ABM chair.

Thumping Onyx, Poison Clan and Too Short. The BBB trifecta.

Got to love how the music takes over. The effect and need of life and living. Saying all the things that you need. Expressing what you may feel and think.

The Muse has come in full force. When life gives you experiences I can let it spill and murder ink. Better to express that way than go back to the old school days.

Darkside Rule

Descendent of

Pimps and players

Notorious

Infamous

Legendary

I am the reason

Your frustration and misunderstanding

Grows

My name brings out

Cringes and jealousy

Desired carnal knowledge

And disbelief

Evil incarnate

Because I just don’t

Give a shit

About you or what

You feel or think

No deviance

As I remain the

Ultimate Deviant

Change?

Who me?

You must be

Fucking joking

I am a

Constant

Represented of

Eternal darkness

Here is where I remain

Upon my throne

Entertained by the

Monkeys and humans

Till the end of time

Darkside rule

My legacy and legend

Permanent imprint on

Souls and minds

The Evil

Am I

Now keep that in mind

From the chocolatezeus collection  4/26/15  ©

Last Week's Episode of Gotham

I finally had to say I enjoyed a full episode of the show. Besides the episode with Alfred going to work it was good but not constant through the show.

But hot damn! They threw my boy that played Peter Petrelli on the series Heroes in there as a serial killer and it jumped off nicely. They called him the Ogre. And because of how hideous he was before plastic surgery it was a well earned name.

He was seducing those hoes and then torturing and murdering them. That caught my damn attention and I had to smile. And when Jim Gordon's ex girl went into the play room I was jealous. It was beautiful and big. With maces, flails, crosses and all kings of wonderful toys.  Now that would be a wonderful play area for me to enjoy the total deconstruction of females.

Add to that we finally have another cobblepot blow up and killing. The Don really did a number on him by telling his mother that he is a sicko and kills people. Sending her into a fit and passing out. *lmfao*  I will be so damn glad when he kill his momma or let her go get killed. She is annoying with her whining self.

of course there was that monkey syleena kyle. *ugh* I really want her to go somewhere and pickpocket an exposed nuclear rod or something. The only good thing dealing with her is that finally bruce wayne is using some detective skills and clandestine style operation.

and the coup de grace was edward ngma killing the cop in the street. And he had that look on his face after the initial shock of as that old Franchise boy song said, "oh I think he liked it, oh I think he liked it"  And that is excellent. It is time for him to riddle, kill, riddle kill. And the best way to start a murderous rampage or spree is because of females. They are always the catalyst for something stupid and horrible to happen.

Spoken Word: Welcome to the Vault

Welcome to the Vault

Safe

Behind 20 feet of titanium

Secure

What lies within you ask

My valuables of course

Emotions

Feelings

Sanity

Compassion

Empathy

Love

Those things I have been told

I need to share with the

Pleabs

Rawkus laughter

Is the only reply

I need

See

You don’t give away

Gold and jewels

Especially to

Twisted

Lost

Fools

So that bright light

Seen when I closed the

Vault door

That was the

Core

Beauty

Resonance

My soul

The parts that are

More precious than

Money and gold

Not

Freely given

Hardly stolen

All that you

Feel and see

Is that the vault is

Cold

Thank you for

Visiting

You may kiss the door

As you exit out of

Life’s door

From the chocolatezeus collection 4/25/15  ©