After some discussion and some more entries in the unnecessary chaos department. I am still here and breathing.
Adventures in dealing with the parental units continue. No telling what is really going on or the consequences of things that were going on today. Chalk it up to getting blind sided by something in the future as usual.
After the weekends reveal there was discussion about my dating practices and relations. Specifically my inability to have a gray area and relationship like trying to be friends with exes or those I am through with.
I have always operated on there is no need to go backwards or hold onto things that are not for or with you. That means exes, ex friends, relatives and all. I merely leave them in the past where they were. It has been suggested that I am using energy and stuff in doing this and the negative experiences that I had. But, if I am not asked about it or something doesn't happen that reminds me of those episodes then I don't think about it.
When a female has decided that this isn't want she wants or we are not seeking the same thing then I merely hit the off switch. And I am told I am missing out on opportunity in this. Plus that I should open up with the humans. lol I never dealt with or had much of any communication with the past ones. I guess because I have gotten soft and mentally slow in my old age I might do this in this current case. It is still up in the air but it is possible. Only because the investment for me. But that investment has also been put into the fortress of solitude already. The outcome this year will be interesting. Not what I sought or wanted but Oh Well. Just do the Zeus half a female equation protocol.
I have had some good times over the year. A lot of calm, comfort and satisfaction. More than normal. Well, with the exception of being married or with Ru Ru. I will have to do more detailed documentation of the last year so that I can have the memories. Look back and remember the that was then moments.
I watched Avengers: Age of Ultron last night. James Spader did Ultron well. I enjoyed the action and I saw the set ups during the movie for spin offs and everything. Then saw the connection with the movie and Agents of Shield in tonight's episode. The Hawkeye twist was interesting. I definitely didn't remember that in comic universe. The new Avengers I really not too energetic about though. It is like they are the west coast avengers basically. Vision was interesting but I was expecting more. Vision did show his bridge between human and AI world. The action was a good clip when it was going on. But they also did have a love storyline in there for the non comic intelligent people.
I need a lot of comfort, peace and pleasure right now. I am going to have to really look at getting away and doing the Zeus thing. Because it is overdue and I have been on empty for a long time right now.
Unleash the Dogs of War!!!
Tuesday, April 28, 2015
Monday, April 27, 2015
Welcome to the Terrordome
A new week begins. No longer a continuation from the last one. That came to a resounding end.
A weekend of no sleep is rather therapeutic. Plenty of time to think, get things done and transmute parts of me.
A meeting today and maybe I will cook something to eat today.
After all of this I need an ABM vacation.
Live and learn. Do not repeat or delineate from who and what you must be.
A weekend of no sleep is rather therapeutic. Plenty of time to think, get things done and transmute parts of me.
A meeting today and maybe I will cook something to eat today.
After all of this I need an ABM vacation.
Live and learn. Do not repeat or delineate from who and what you must be.
Sunday, April 26, 2015
All Night Long
I have been on that everclear and tea mixed with cigars all night long. No sleep for the ABM chair.
Thumping Onyx, Poison Clan and Too Short. The BBB trifecta.
Got to love how the music takes over. The effect and need of life and living. Saying all the things that you need. Expressing what you may feel and think.
The Muse has come in full force. When life gives you experiences I can let it spill and murder ink. Better to express that way than go back to the old school days.
Thumping Onyx, Poison Clan and Too Short. The BBB trifecta.
Got to love how the music takes over. The effect and need of life and living. Saying all the things that you need. Expressing what you may feel and think.
The Muse has come in full force. When life gives you experiences I can let it spill and murder ink. Better to express that way than go back to the old school days.
Darkside Rule
Descendent of
Pimps and players
Notorious
Infamous
Legendary
I am the reason
Your frustration and
misunderstanding
Grows
My name brings out
Cringes and jealousy
Desired carnal
knowledge
And disbelief
Evil incarnate
Because I just don’t
Give a shit
About you or what
You feel or think
No deviance
As I remain the
Ultimate Deviant
Change?
Who me?
You must be
Fucking joking
I am a
Constant
Represented of
Eternal darkness
Here is where I
remain
Upon my throne
Entertained by the
Monkeys and humans
Till the end of time
Darkside rule
My legacy and legend
Permanent imprint on
Souls and minds
The Evil
Am I
Now keep that in mind
From the
chocolatezeus collection 4/26/15 ©
Last Week's Episode of Gotham
I finally had to say I enjoyed a full episode of the show. Besides the episode with Alfred going to work it was good but not constant through the show.
But hot damn! They threw my boy that played Peter Petrelli on the series Heroes in there as a serial killer and it jumped off nicely. They called him the Ogre. And because of how hideous he was before plastic surgery it was a well earned name.
He was seducing those hoes and then torturing and murdering them. That caught my damn attention and I had to smile. And when Jim Gordon's ex girl went into the play room I was jealous. It was beautiful and big. With maces, flails, crosses and all kings of wonderful toys. Now that would be a wonderful play area for me to enjoy the total deconstruction of females.
Add to that we finally have another cobblepot blow up and killing. The Don really did a number on him by telling his mother that he is a sicko and kills people. Sending her into a fit and passing out. *lmfao* I will be so damn glad when he kill his momma or let her go get killed. She is annoying with her whining self.
of course there was that monkey syleena kyle. *ugh* I really want her to go somewhere and pickpocket an exposed nuclear rod or something. The only good thing dealing with her is that finally bruce wayne is using some detective skills and clandestine style operation.
and the coup de grace was edward ngma killing the cop in the street. And he had that look on his face after the initial shock of as that old Franchise boy song said, "oh I think he liked it, oh I think he liked it" And that is excellent. It is time for him to riddle, kill, riddle kill. And the best way to start a murderous rampage or spree is because of females. They are always the catalyst for something stupid and horrible to happen.
But hot damn! They threw my boy that played Peter Petrelli on the series Heroes in there as a serial killer and it jumped off nicely. They called him the Ogre. And because of how hideous he was before plastic surgery it was a well earned name.
He was seducing those hoes and then torturing and murdering them. That caught my damn attention and I had to smile. And when Jim Gordon's ex girl went into the play room I was jealous. It was beautiful and big. With maces, flails, crosses and all kings of wonderful toys. Now that would be a wonderful play area for me to enjoy the total deconstruction of females.
Add to that we finally have another cobblepot blow up and killing. The Don really did a number on him by telling his mother that he is a sicko and kills people. Sending her into a fit and passing out. *lmfao* I will be so damn glad when he kill his momma or let her go get killed. She is annoying with her whining self.
of course there was that monkey syleena kyle. *ugh* I really want her to go somewhere and pickpocket an exposed nuclear rod or something. The only good thing dealing with her is that finally bruce wayne is using some detective skills and clandestine style operation.
and the coup de grace was edward ngma killing the cop in the street. And he had that look on his face after the initial shock of as that old Franchise boy song said, "oh I think he liked it, oh I think he liked it" And that is excellent. It is time for him to riddle, kill, riddle kill. And the best way to start a murderous rampage or spree is because of females. They are always the catalyst for something stupid and horrible to happen.
Spoken Word: Welcome to the Vault
Welcome to the Vault
Safe
Behind 20 feet of
titanium
Secure
What lies within you
ask
My valuables of
course
Emotions
Feelings
Sanity
Compassion
Empathy
Love
Those things I have
been told
I need to share with
the
Pleabs
Rawkus laughter
Is the only reply
I need
See
You don’t give away
Gold and jewels
Especially to
Twisted
Lost
Fools
So that bright light
Seen when I closed
the
Vault door
That was the
Core
Beauty
Resonance
My soul
The parts that are
More precious than
Money and gold
Not
Freely given
Hardly stolen
All that you
Feel and see
Is that the vault is
Cold
Thank you for
Visiting
You may kiss the door
As you exit out of
Life’s door
From the
chocolatezeus collection 4/25/15 ©
Saturday, April 25, 2015
Shaking My Damn Head
As things pile up in exponential rate and fashion.
All I can do is twirl my executioner axe and say "Damn I miss you Chocolate Doll!!!!"
And yeah, I can pick em!
At least with all this stuff that is going on the muse has dropped in to give me plenty of ABM movement material.
All I can do is twirl my executioner axe and say "Damn I miss you Chocolate Doll!!!!"
And yeah, I can pick em!
At least with all this stuff that is going on the muse has dropped in to give me plenty of ABM movement material.
Where I Am?
This has been asked so here is my response.
I am here. Just sticking to being Chair of the ABM.
My place in life is what it is. I am among the humans and doing what needs to be done.
My analysis and evaluations have proven to be on point. At least it allows me to be prepared. When you look at the variables and deal with their possibilities it allows you to be better prepared. And thus here I am.
I am thankful for all that has happened. It has shown me the results in bad choices. The absolution of the ideology that was before and after A.D.
Adventures, experiences and things I look forward to. Now, in complete proper perspective.
Grinning and smiling as I embrace the chaos of change. It has already began and I am fully vested in it now.
My BDSM life has taken shape. My observation, interaction, the community and the individuals have helped solidify it. Like I have witnessed it is about service. And that is what it shall be. I probably will return to poly somewhere down the road. After learning from the subs and slaves that I met I will be able to strictly streamline things even further so it is properly began.
Being out in the community and conference calls revealed a lot to me. Giving me a plethora of ideas and ideologies to see, analyze and choose whether or not they pertained to me.
Looking forward to learning and observing at Shibaricon next month. I read the presenters info and the outlines of some of the classes being offered and got excited. Being a beginner can be a hinderance but I look forward to learning and at least observing the more advance techniques. I just need someone to practice rope on. I will have to work on that after this summer.
Life of a Ronin explains it all. The solitude and journey. The trials and tribulations as you help, counsel and be.
I am in a good place. Prepared and ready. Dealing with everything. Resolved and armed with understanding.
The Time is NOW!!!
The evolution of Apocalypse!
*Darkness reigns fully*
I am here. Just sticking to being Chair of the ABM.
My place in life is what it is. I am among the humans and doing what needs to be done.
My analysis and evaluations have proven to be on point. At least it allows me to be prepared. When you look at the variables and deal with their possibilities it allows you to be better prepared. And thus here I am.
I am thankful for all that has happened. It has shown me the results in bad choices. The absolution of the ideology that was before and after A.D.
Adventures, experiences and things I look forward to. Now, in complete proper perspective.
Grinning and smiling as I embrace the chaos of change. It has already began and I am fully vested in it now.
My BDSM life has taken shape. My observation, interaction, the community and the individuals have helped solidify it. Like I have witnessed it is about service. And that is what it shall be. I probably will return to poly somewhere down the road. After learning from the subs and slaves that I met I will be able to strictly streamline things even further so it is properly began.
Being out in the community and conference calls revealed a lot to me. Giving me a plethora of ideas and ideologies to see, analyze and choose whether or not they pertained to me.
Looking forward to learning and observing at Shibaricon next month. I read the presenters info and the outlines of some of the classes being offered and got excited. Being a beginner can be a hinderance but I look forward to learning and at least observing the more advance techniques. I just need someone to practice rope on. I will have to work on that after this summer.
Life of a Ronin explains it all. The solitude and journey. The trials and tribulations as you help, counsel and be.
I am in a good place. Prepared and ready. Dealing with everything. Resolved and armed with understanding.
The Time is NOW!!!
The evolution of Apocalypse!
*Darkness reigns fully*
Spoken Word: Absolutely Nothing
Absolutely Nothing
Silence
Dead to Life
Deep in the Darkness
Silhouetted in
Clandestined action
Battles
Won and lost
Blood dripping
Skin ripped and
filleted
Heart beating
Laying prone on the
Blood stained ground
Eternity
Has left me
Here I am
Transfixed
Transformed
Altered permanently
Emotionless
Heartless
Nothing human
Left of me
Pain
My only company
Forever represented
Part of me
Death
My being
Result of living
Hearing the drips
Of life from me
Encased
In toxicity
Soul removed from me
Remembering
Looking
Realizing
I see
Staring at me
Smiling prominently
My Existence
The
Abyss
From the
chocolatezeus collection 4/25/15 ©
A Spoken Word Dedication to Reality
Funeral Pyre
Love
Existence
Unrealistic
Useless sentiment
Betrayed intent
Misconcepted excrement
Fed the myth
Of it’s existence
A relevance
That is
Ambivalent
Absent
Caustic
The solution
Love’s evidence
The only
understanding
That is processed
The answer
Apathy
Complete disregard
A cold heart
From beginning to
Start
Killing all emotion
Feelings laid to rest
No need for an
Epitaph
Love
Never was
Never lived
Was always dead
Burning brightly
In the lies of
Heart
Mind
And Soul
From the chocolatezeus
collection 4/25/15 ©
Today's Quote
"I have a high art, I hurt with
cruelty those who would damage me." - Archilocus, 650 B.C.
Degree of Difficulty...DAMN!!
The recurring phrase has been, "you can pick em." For the longest time. Why? Because, the females I have dated, fucked, met and even my wife have been very different. Some psychos, others retarded and more.
The creme of the crop of course are the ones that I am closest to. The ones that I vibe and connect deeply to. These are the ones that everyone wants and are chased. These are the women that stymie males and females that chase them. They perplex anyone that is interested in them. Making it a matter or Russian roulette dealing with them. Because the journey is hard as hell and the dangers are astronomical. They destroy egos, ids, hearts and souls because of their ability to be contradictory to what other females act like. Bodies and sexuality that makes all stand there with their mouth open. Leaving them wanton and craving extremely. I know because the craving and has been and is known to me.
Looking back at being married to one I have to chuckle as I understand my tether to one of the most difficult types of the female species. I feel that link that shows me that they are unique and stand out from others. That sexual dynamo mixed with intelligence, wit and apparently the love and skill of musical knowledge. They read and write excellently. Through words, actions and the curves that they are blessed with, they exude all the things that make me want them.
Here I am in the labyrinth. Observing and attempting to conquer it all. Enjoying and needing the fix that is created. Connected to the mentality, personality, passion and sexuality deeply. Leaving the thoughts of future things upon my mind. Wondering what and how things may be. I see the finish line that I seek. Where I want to be. The inclusion of another being makes that journey problematic at the least.
I pick the most difficult, non conventional and non girly ones. But they keep my interest and have what I want. And they have the best chance of being with me.
I found it. I love it. *shrug* I just have to leave things up to the one and see which scenario will play out. Until then I will merely be and keep things properly in place and strapped down.
Hell she know the deal. I just leave the decision as her choice. And I will do what is necessary.
All I know on this ride I need to get a score of 1 million point five. Because this difficulty is extremely high.
The creme of the crop of course are the ones that I am closest to. The ones that I vibe and connect deeply to. These are the ones that everyone wants and are chased. These are the women that stymie males and females that chase them. They perplex anyone that is interested in them. Making it a matter or Russian roulette dealing with them. Because the journey is hard as hell and the dangers are astronomical. They destroy egos, ids, hearts and souls because of their ability to be contradictory to what other females act like. Bodies and sexuality that makes all stand there with their mouth open. Leaving them wanton and craving extremely. I know because the craving and has been and is known to me.
Looking back at being married to one I have to chuckle as I understand my tether to one of the most difficult types of the female species. I feel that link that shows me that they are unique and stand out from others. That sexual dynamo mixed with intelligence, wit and apparently the love and skill of musical knowledge. They read and write excellently. Through words, actions and the curves that they are blessed with, they exude all the things that make me want them.
Here I am in the labyrinth. Observing and attempting to conquer it all. Enjoying and needing the fix that is created. Connected to the mentality, personality, passion and sexuality deeply. Leaving the thoughts of future things upon my mind. Wondering what and how things may be. I see the finish line that I seek. Where I want to be. The inclusion of another being makes that journey problematic at the least.
I pick the most difficult, non conventional and non girly ones. But they keep my interest and have what I want. And they have the best chance of being with me.
I found it. I love it. *shrug* I just have to leave things up to the one and see which scenario will play out. Until then I will merely be and keep things properly in place and strapped down.
Hell she know the deal. I just leave the decision as her choice. And I will do what is necessary.
All I know on this ride I need to get a score of 1 million point five. Because this difficulty is extremely high.
Thursday, April 23, 2015
wind Go Down
As I sit here listening to dancehall and smoking a cigar. Dealing with thoughts, problems and the unexpected.
This is my first time trying a Fallen Angel double toro box press. It is good. Smooth with a nutty flavor. Not my normal full body but will add to the humidor for sure.
Trying to let my mind comprehend and digest things. It is hard to uiet my mind in the first place. I am constantly problem solving and soing probability analysis.
I am not sure what is next. I am admittedly concerned.
Right nkw I just have to do what I do though.
This is my first time trying a Fallen Angel double toro box press. It is good. Smooth with a nutty flavor. Not my normal full body but will add to the humidor for sure.
Trying to let my mind comprehend and digest things. It is hard to uiet my mind in the first place. I am constantly problem solving and soing probability analysis.
I am not sure what is next. I am admittedly concerned.
Right nkw I just have to do what I do though.
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