I Apologize: Beefie
My words and thoughts ones of hurt, pain and anger
Reaching out to attack you
To tarnish you, your heart and your reputation
Everyone chimed in like they understood where we had been
Or what we have been feeling or given
See I wrote what I did because of my anger and contempt
Regardless of the facts and fiction
No one could understand what we had been given
The episodes and things that we have been through
NO ONE knew or understood our issues
First and foremost me and you
So I 0ffer my apology
Knowing how badly I fucked it all up
See it matters not what others think and see
Just the wrong that I have brought to the scene
That I have made you this enemy unseen
My heart fell beyond me
Far to depths unseen
When you told me what was misread and said
I just couldn’t be left unsaid, that they have no clue to what I mean
So I Apologize for the views I put in their eyes
Damn the tears I cried
Knowing that this wasn’t what I laid my pride in
My heart, my eyes
On fire because of the hatred writes
The unfortunate ties that came outright
They don’t know what it is all about
Merely what they inferred from my words
I Apologize for their interpretation of you
From the Chocolatezeus collection ©
Tuesday, August 01, 2006
Roaring Into Emptiness
Truth Over Attitude
Funny how woman roars about non commitment and more
How the voice boisterous about men aren’t up to par
Then you turn on the light upon their lives
See them run from the examination
Showing their selfish determination
Giving you the true understanding that they don’t want commitment
Just something for the moment
Things within their little mold
Because they can’t have their precious WORLD unfold
They busted ass friends
Their lack of attention
Wrongful understanding
Stuck on stupid they remain
Caught in this insane pseudo understanding of things
Thinking that they have the insight on things
When in reality they don’t even come close to things being known
Just blowing in the wind all alone
Quick to claim BITCH mode
Oblivious to the truth within their soul
That they wish the same things I do
The companionship from one another
That need for a comforting tone
Not the need to be stuck alone
My hands held out
A peace offering to atone for what has gone on
Let’s lay it all down
Both take up our crowns
Reign over OUR realms
For the future is what we have found
Now we simply have to hold it down
Fight against the oppressing elements
Combating their mere irrelevance
We are not down for settling
The truth has shown upon our home
Time to step into the rays of reality
Bask in the enjoyment of our finality
The forever ness that we have found most evident
Now we simply have to keep those attitudes and tempers in check
Give into Forgiveness
Living in Understanding’s enhancements
The Truth is What WE Represent
From the Chocolatezeus collection 8/1/06 ©
Funny how woman roars about non commitment and more
How the voice boisterous about men aren’t up to par
Then you turn on the light upon their lives
See them run from the examination
Showing their selfish determination
Giving you the true understanding that they don’t want commitment
Just something for the moment
Things within their little mold
Because they can’t have their precious WORLD unfold
They busted ass friends
Their lack of attention
Wrongful understanding
Stuck on stupid they remain
Caught in this insane pseudo understanding of things
Thinking that they have the insight on things
When in reality they don’t even come close to things being known
Just blowing in the wind all alone
Quick to claim BITCH mode
Oblivious to the truth within their soul
That they wish the same things I do
The companionship from one another
That need for a comforting tone
Not the need to be stuck alone
My hands held out
A peace offering to atone for what has gone on
Let’s lay it all down
Both take up our crowns
Reign over OUR realms
For the future is what we have found
Now we simply have to hold it down
Fight against the oppressing elements
Combating their mere irrelevance
We are not down for settling
The truth has shown upon our home
Time to step into the rays of reality
Bask in the enjoyment of our finality
The forever ness that we have found most evident
Now we simply have to keep those attitudes and tempers in check
Give into Forgiveness
Living in Understanding’s enhancements
The Truth is What WE Represent
From the Chocolatezeus collection 8/1/06 ©
Sunday, July 30, 2006
In My Mind's Eye
Out My Mind
Sitting back realizing the things that brought me to this place
Feeling stupid for the things that were done and faced
Realizing now how much of it was a TRUE waste
No matter what nothing can take it’s place
Made a stand for what was in my goals and plan
Apparently just too much demand for others to be involved in the plan
Watching them bail out
Run out without a simple regret or concern
That is dedication to the things you want in life right there
See there is no doubt about what I want
No doubt about what I need
But I don’t need anyone to interpret anything for me
No need to have anything like that to ever say to me
But I see
I must have been out my mind
To think that someone would agree
That they would see the visions I expressed and had for me
The things I voiced and showed completely
Just out of my mind
To think that they would find something other than just themselves
To want to enjoy a life of something else
More than each individual self
My mind can grasp the future plans
Handle it all and understand
Knowing that problems will be on the way to that plan
Just have to understand that everything will not be smooth as sand
But that is part of life
Understand
A life that is made of importance and not just simple demands
For it was a cake walk that was planned
Then everything would mean nothing at all
Would be a matter of nothing at all
So with that they stall and fall
Blessing us with nothing but their gaul
This is what they bring to the table for us all
The simple episodes that they keep in place for us all
Only thing is that we don’t pay attention to them at all
Because they have no meaning to US at all
The people that truly understand the plan
Know life’s demands
Our minds
Held onto these designs
Glad to be the ones that find the plans of our lives
Just have to keep in mind
That these other people
Drive us to be
OUT OUR MIND
From the Chocolatezeus collection 7/25/06 ©
Sitting back realizing the things that brought me to this place
Feeling stupid for the things that were done and faced
Realizing now how much of it was a TRUE waste
No matter what nothing can take it’s place
Made a stand for what was in my goals and plan
Apparently just too much demand for others to be involved in the plan
Watching them bail out
Run out without a simple regret or concern
That is dedication to the things you want in life right there
See there is no doubt about what I want
No doubt about what I need
But I don’t need anyone to interpret anything for me
No need to have anything like that to ever say to me
But I see
I must have been out my mind
To think that someone would agree
That they would see the visions I expressed and had for me
The things I voiced and showed completely
Just out of my mind
To think that they would find something other than just themselves
To want to enjoy a life of something else
More than each individual self
My mind can grasp the future plans
Handle it all and understand
Knowing that problems will be on the way to that plan
Just have to understand that everything will not be smooth as sand
But that is part of life
Understand
A life that is made of importance and not just simple demands
For it was a cake walk that was planned
Then everything would mean nothing at all
Would be a matter of nothing at all
So with that they stall and fall
Blessing us with nothing but their gaul
This is what they bring to the table for us all
The simple episodes that they keep in place for us all
Only thing is that we don’t pay attention to them at all
Because they have no meaning to US at all
The people that truly understand the plan
Know life’s demands
Our minds
Held onto these designs
Glad to be the ones that find the plans of our lives
Just have to keep in mind
That these other people
Drive us to be
OUT OUR MIND
From the Chocolatezeus collection 7/25/06 ©
Saturday, July 22, 2006
Relational Epitome
Relationship Singularity
Here with someone
Alleged relationship
A supposed union
Yet why am I alone
Deceived true feelings
Received negligence
Pepertrated Presence
Yet why am I alone
Always here
Through the smoke and fire
Branded, banished
Yet why am I alone
Dedication
No matter the rough ride
Hard core ride
Yet why am I alone
Flight by night
No land clear in sight
No matter wrong or right
Yet why am I alone
Remaining your clear backbone
Even when you just want to be left alone
All I hear is that caustic tone
Yet why am I alone
From the chocolatezeus collection ©
Here with someone
Alleged relationship
A supposed union
Yet why am I alone
Deceived true feelings
Received negligence
Pepertrated Presence
Yet why am I alone
Always here
Through the smoke and fire
Branded, banished
Yet why am I alone
Dedication
No matter the rough ride
Hard core ride
Yet why am I alone
Flight by night
No land clear in sight
No matter wrong or right
Yet why am I alone
Remaining your clear backbone
Even when you just want to be left alone
All I hear is that caustic tone
Yet why am I alone
From the chocolatezeus collection ©
Elevated Hands
Within These Hands
Here I hold within these two hands
Life
Love
The Future
Grasping through the
Frailness
Futility
Adversaries
Cloaked in the best of self
No longer having to creep in stealth of myself
Part of a new something else
A new million Grand upon myself
Love and concern for self more than everything else
Finally
Myself in my corner
Regardless of anything else
No one else
Me and Myself
Heart and Soul my TRUE WEALTH
True friends
True love
Revealed their true selves
Disturbance
Anomosity
Nonchalantness dealt
Not once detracting from the beautiful self
The pungent aroma of disregard
Disrespect the usual trump card
Played repeatedly
And played slammed hard
As if that was always the ONLY card
Far through it all
I stand PROUDLY tall
Still loving
Supporting the Called
Representative of the Winter and the Fall
From the Chocolatezeus collection ©
Here I hold within these two hands
Life
Love
The Future
Grasping through the
Frailness
Futility
Adversaries
Cloaked in the best of self
No longer having to creep in stealth of myself
Part of a new something else
A new million Grand upon myself
Love and concern for self more than everything else
Finally
Myself in my corner
Regardless of anything else
No one else
Me and Myself
Heart and Soul my TRUE WEALTH
True friends
True love
Revealed their true selves
Disturbance
Anomosity
Nonchalantness dealt
Not once detracting from the beautiful self
The pungent aroma of disregard
Disrespect the usual trump card
Played repeatedly
And played slammed hard
As if that was always the ONLY card
Far through it all
I stand PROUDLY tall
Still loving
Supporting the Called
Representative of the Winter and the Fall
From the Chocolatezeus collection ©
Here Without You
WITHOUT YOU
How is it that we came here
What brought us together then
Here in our passionate whirlwind
Anger, love, lust and traveling
Our relationship bedazzling
Something that others had no choice but to see
We did it effortlessly
For we were always meant to be
How did I come to this point
Where I just can’t be without you
Where my day is not right without you
Longing once again for that first day I found you
Never knew how hard I had fallen
My strength failed me within your presence
Missing you day by day
A part of my heart ripped completely apart
Finally that mental smoke screen did part
My heart completely unfolded, completely fallen apart
Brought in to the light from the dark
How did I come to this point
Where I just can’t be without you
Where my day is not right without you
Longing once again for that first day I found you
Our bond grew strong
We fought each other on and on
Not realizing completely what was going on
Fighting each other time after time
Seeking what we had already found
Bound by the feelings that we had found
How did I come to this point
Where I just can’t be without you
Where my day is not right without you
Longing once again for that first day I found you
Bitter instances revealed
Because our fates had already been sealed
We LOVE each other for REAL
Love is what made us fight each other with zeal
To fight for the strength that we feel
Watching the coldness of hearts peel
Even time won’t be able to steal
How did I come to this point
Where I just can’t be without you
Where my day is not right without you
Longing once again for that first day I found you
From the Chocolatezeus collection 7/21/06 ©
How is it that we came here
What brought us together then
Here in our passionate whirlwind
Anger, love, lust and traveling
Our relationship bedazzling
Something that others had no choice but to see
We did it effortlessly
For we were always meant to be
How did I come to this point
Where I just can’t be without you
Where my day is not right without you
Longing once again for that first day I found you
Never knew how hard I had fallen
My strength failed me within your presence
Missing you day by day
A part of my heart ripped completely apart
Finally that mental smoke screen did part
My heart completely unfolded, completely fallen apart
Brought in to the light from the dark
How did I come to this point
Where I just can’t be without you
Where my day is not right without you
Longing once again for that first day I found you
Our bond grew strong
We fought each other on and on
Not realizing completely what was going on
Fighting each other time after time
Seeking what we had already found
Bound by the feelings that we had found
How did I come to this point
Where I just can’t be without you
Where my day is not right without you
Longing once again for that first day I found you
Bitter instances revealed
Because our fates had already been sealed
We LOVE each other for REAL
Love is what made us fight each other with zeal
To fight for the strength that we feel
Watching the coldness of hearts peel
Even time won’t be able to steal
How did I come to this point
Where I just can’t be without you
Where my day is not right without you
Longing once again for that first day I found you
From the Chocolatezeus collection 7/21/06 ©
Tuesday, July 18, 2006
Something Sang, Something Said, Something Felt
Must Be Nice
I found you
My diamond in the rough
A total coincidence
Yet something that I learned I couldn’t easily give up
Growing into the formidable two that we are
You held me down, even when I was dragging the ground
Fought through it all
From the fights to side splitting falls
Come home to you
Knowing that you were there
Greeted with that gifted smile
Even if it took a little while
Maybe it easy to always come home
To get rid of the thoughts to roam
My Baby was right there at home
See…
Pussy is what it is…something to get into, something to do
But what I got is what makes me happy at home
When life has come completely apart
My strength lays in your hands
My heart and soul has left me
You are there to brace it all together
To keep everything together
For I am not invincible
Nor is life all that sensible
Many times I have been left defenseless and expendable
You stayed by my side just holding on
You… the strong woman
Is why I love where I belong
Here with you in my arms
Or walking along laughing with your loud tone
For no matter our faults or issues
Acceptance was a must
To peas of different strands
Yet in our Unique pod was simply Marvelous US
No one could understand us
My wifey
Mother of my unborn
Here upon your bosom is where I rest during the storms
No need for party scenes
I continue chilling at home with my queen
Lets laugh and talk
Play and profess our life’s interests
You are my only FAMILY interest
Life ahead of me benefits
God’s blessings represented
No wonder I am content
Happy no matter what the incident
Knowing we can make it through any event
Our Union the TRUE REPRESENTATIVE
From the chocolatezeus collection 7/17/06 ©
I found you
My diamond in the rough
A total coincidence
Yet something that I learned I couldn’t easily give up
Growing into the formidable two that we are
You held me down, even when I was dragging the ground
Fought through it all
From the fights to side splitting falls
Come home to you
Knowing that you were there
Greeted with that gifted smile
Even if it took a little while
Maybe it easy to always come home
To get rid of the thoughts to roam
My Baby was right there at home
See…
Pussy is what it is…something to get into, something to do
But what I got is what makes me happy at home
When life has come completely apart
My strength lays in your hands
My heart and soul has left me
You are there to brace it all together
To keep everything together
For I am not invincible
Nor is life all that sensible
Many times I have been left defenseless and expendable
You stayed by my side just holding on
You… the strong woman
Is why I love where I belong
Here with you in my arms
Or walking along laughing with your loud tone
For no matter our faults or issues
Acceptance was a must
To peas of different strands
Yet in our Unique pod was simply Marvelous US
No one could understand us
My wifey
Mother of my unborn
Here upon your bosom is where I rest during the storms
No need for party scenes
I continue chilling at home with my queen
Lets laugh and talk
Play and profess our life’s interests
You are my only FAMILY interest
Life ahead of me benefits
God’s blessings represented
No wonder I am content
Happy no matter what the incident
Knowing we can make it through any event
Our Union the TRUE REPRESENTATIVE
From the chocolatezeus collection 7/17/06 ©
Wednesday, July 12, 2006
Odin's Moment
Cast upon my back I hold so much
Sorrow, pain, life's etheral touch
A world upon my shoulders
At times bucvkled and smoldering
Sitting here alone
Enemy loved
Hatred Shown
Stationed in life's orbital zone
Standard issue personal comfort zone
Providing a compassionate tone
Commanding a stronghold for refuge from the storm
Listening intently
Helping vehemotely
The personal counselor that you see
Queried and never understood
For my understanding rings in the hood
True enemy indeed
Perched upon life's dark steed
Continuing the battle proceeds
Smiting thee
For the scowl upon my face
Shows the truth on life's fate
Prayers and thoughst go up for all sakes
I am designed and destined to handle this weight
I see all
What was
What is
What will be
For you
I oversee
Superseed
Breathe and breathe
Guardian
Protector
Covering you in love and caring
I
Odin upon my throne...daringly, caring, solitude upon my own
from the chocolatezeus collection (c)
Sorrow, pain, life's etheral touch
A world upon my shoulders
At times bucvkled and smoldering
Sitting here alone
Enemy loved
Hatred Shown
Stationed in life's orbital zone
Standard issue personal comfort zone
Providing a compassionate tone
Commanding a stronghold for refuge from the storm
Listening intently
Helping vehemotely
The personal counselor that you see
Queried and never understood
For my understanding rings in the hood
True enemy indeed
Perched upon life's dark steed
Continuing the battle proceeds
Smiting thee
For the scowl upon my face
Shows the truth on life's fate
Prayers and thoughst go up for all sakes
I am designed and destined to handle this weight
I see all
What was
What is
What will be
For you
I oversee
Superseed
Breathe and breathe
Guardian
Protector
Covering you in love and caring
I
Odin upon my throne...daringly, caring, solitude upon my own
from the chocolatezeus collection (c)
Thursday, July 06, 2006
Journey: Hell's Angels
Darkness falls upon the twilight of this life
Given up upon that search for a wife
Tired in the constant brutal fights
Seeing red with passionate anger
Ignoring the pains and danger
All to make it work you see
To simply fulfill my dream
I had thought I had everything
But I didn't have myself
The thing that made everything
Here on my astral plane
I look at what
I have wanted
I have had
The virtual grab bag
See I never opened up fully
Knew that no one could handle or understand me
Showed them the complete me
The one they could handle things
Yet it was too late for them to open their eyes and see
Captain of this ship
Shaking my head at this
Illiad and Odyssey trip
See I have faced:
The evil twins
The Minotaurs horns
The two episodes with the dark beasts from the sea
Bringing me adventures and plenty of things to think
Catalyst at time to drive you to drink
It brought the necessary changes in me
Solidified strength in me
Idle tolerance ceased
Acceptance of less than required ceased
Bloody, brutal, vindictive actions proceed
Now there is simple
This true journey
My peace
from the chocolatezeus collection (c) 7/6/06
Given up upon that search for a wife
Tired in the constant brutal fights
Seeing red with passionate anger
Ignoring the pains and danger
All to make it work you see
To simply fulfill my dream
I had thought I had everything
But I didn't have myself
The thing that made everything
Here on my astral plane
I look at what
I have wanted
I have had
The virtual grab bag
See I never opened up fully
Knew that no one could handle or understand me
Showed them the complete me
The one they could handle things
Yet it was too late for them to open their eyes and see
Captain of this ship
Shaking my head at this
Illiad and Odyssey trip
See I have faced:
The evil twins
The Minotaurs horns
The two episodes with the dark beasts from the sea
Bringing me adventures and plenty of things to think
Catalyst at time to drive you to drink
It brought the necessary changes in me
Solidified strength in me
Idle tolerance ceased
Acceptance of less than required ceased
Bloody, brutal, vindictive actions proceed
Now there is simple
This true journey
My peace
from the chocolatezeus collection (c) 7/6/06
Monday, June 19, 2006
Elusive Apprhension of the RAW
Thats right we search dilligently, sometimes crazily
For that RAW
Real
Ass
Woman
Sought after like the lochness monster
Berift of fairytale pondering
Searching for the one and only
Sifting through the pseudo and phoney
Yeah I found my match
That chick with class
Damn I guess I will pass
Because she is just another one that showed her ass
Different looks
Different backgrounds
Different lives
Going to the same results
What the fuck
The words LOVE
Used strategically
Something to weild against me
The journy continues
Still in need of that RAW on my personal menu
A loving, married venue
Pulsing throughout my every sinew
Still serching for that RAW
That elusive midnight star
Transcending my life by far
Mirroring my life as the top star
I know it is hit and miss
Reaching for this one time gift
Sift after sift
Rifling through the bullshit
Finding the pure evidence
That this chick, that chick was never Heaven sent.
My journey remains most RAW
Search and Rescue the only worthwile part
For is it our lives we must save
Stave the negative waves
My RAW is worth wait
But damn just hurry up for Christ's sake
from the chocolatezeus collection 6/19/06 (c)
For that RAW
Real
Ass
Woman
Sought after like the lochness monster
Berift of fairytale pondering
Searching for the one and only
Sifting through the pseudo and phoney
Yeah I found my match
That chick with class
Damn I guess I will pass
Because she is just another one that showed her ass
Different looks
Different backgrounds
Different lives
Going to the same results
What the fuck
The words LOVE
Used strategically
Something to weild against me
The journy continues
Still in need of that RAW on my personal menu
A loving, married venue
Pulsing throughout my every sinew
Still serching for that RAW
That elusive midnight star
Transcending my life by far
Mirroring my life as the top star
I know it is hit and miss
Reaching for this one time gift
Sift after sift
Rifling through the bullshit
Finding the pure evidence
That this chick, that chick was never Heaven sent.
My journey remains most RAW
Search and Rescue the only worthwile part
For is it our lives we must save
Stave the negative waves
My RAW is worth wait
But damn just hurry up for Christ's sake
from the chocolatezeus collection 6/19/06 (c)
Sunday, June 18, 2006
Proud of My Baby!!!
Hell yeah my baby gurl done did it and did it well.
My god daughter Daijah is who I am talking about.
She reppin me in kindergarten well in E.C.
A honor roll
an oratory genius
Called to speak as kindergarten rep
is head of the dance team
reads on a 2nd grade level
is in every extra curricular activity there is
hell yeah thats my baby.
Taught her well. Not only to defend herself well but to read and eat and play hard too.
Proud of my baby girl. Even if her family is ghetto as hell. LOL
My heart and Joy
DAIJAH
Fathers Day...Mine
Caught Amongst Father's Day
Here upon a day filled with so much and so little
Gazing upon those around me far and near
Those close to me personally and those passing by
Wrought within myself at
Loss
Despair
Disbelief
Shock
For I am not yet that father
Nor do I consider myself to have one myself
Betrayal ripping that from my very chest
For all he is nothing more than a hypocritical lie to me
Fiction, Fantasy...Christian disbelief
My father
Crying over things he did, not me
Looking to teach me when he was no more than the lies that I see
Married to my mother and cheating vehemetly
But yet still trying to teach me
Lead others to the Lord
No sir, not the father to be
Me, a Father
Taken away from me repeatedly
Babies loss from the love that I wished to give
Stripped from the future I sought to give
The last one the hardest
Knowing that if he had lived that she would have killed him
Those words took away my heart
The idea that she would kill my fatherhood from a start
All because of the issues that we had fighting each other from being apart
But God had HIS plan
And I don't sit here and claim to understand
Because I can't say that I do, Most of the time I really don't want to
All I know is I miss my baby
No child of my own
No yells of "Daddy" coming home
So with tears I close my eyes
Stifle the internal and external cries
Knowing the hurt, pain and love that is felt inside
Giving up to this emotional ride
Never once did I thought life would bring me this ride
As my babygirl wishes me Happy Fathers day
It is a joy I relish
For it is true heart of the one lil girl I have cherished
Not blood of my own, yet still my lil girl grown
The lil life that I influenced and loved all of my own
With the swirling thoughts and feelings
I take in this day
Reflected upon my life's stage
Blessing each and every father that has been a father this day
HAPPY FATHERS DAY
Monday, June 12, 2006
Anchored In My Life
This is dedicated to the one person that came out the blue and became God's blessing to me. All I can say is THANK YOU!
Within these buffeted winds
Storms rage
Destruction cascades
But I am secure
Anchored to an unmoving shore
You
My anchor
Heartfelt and pure
Looking past the folk lore
To merely see the man that adores
An always opens up doors
With you radiating along every floor
You
My anchor
When all else fails
You always prevail
Ready to set sail with me
Not afrad of the adventure we seek
You
My anchor
The lifeline of my heartbeat
Comforting me while I sleep
Producing my ecstasy
Completely giving of me
You
My anchor
With you I drit aimlessly
Back and forth
Yielding the destruction you see
Not what it should be
NO longer am I the storm that people see
Thankfully
You anchor me
from the chocolatezeus collection 6/10/06 (c)
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