It is about that time to hit some museums. Maybe I will finally get to the African American museum in the dmv without having to get a ticket 4 months in advance. But that is on deck along with the tank museum and my normal pilgrimage to the Air & Space museum. It is on!
Relations are moving right along. *busting full auto shots*
Mega change going down in the next two weeks.
About to see where I will touchdown this year.
Writings have been crazy and the work is getting done so that will be coming probably before the summer.
Just focusing on the important things and strengthening the important things.
So keep your head up and make the important things a priority.
Wednesday, March 21, 2018
Changing of the Guard
Things have been interesting and hectic along with a number of other things. Dealing with the health issues has been taxing and handling all the other stuff has weighed heavily. But this is what I do and have done since landing on this planet.
I have had a good time though with some new interactions. it is always fun to be able to talk about nerdy stuff, cartoons and the weird things that us black nerds are into. So that has been a breath of fresh air. Combined with these new recipes off of Facebook that I have been sharing and eating it is a nice exemption from the negative shit that is going on.
Preparing for the storm of destruction that will arrive in two weeks I guess. Not ready or feeling this at all. But going to make it do what it do.
Closer to my god daughters graduation also. lol this is going to be one for the books for sure. Life Unscripted will be super crazy while I am there.
I need to get my tattoo done before the summer hits as well so I need to go see Eddie and get that done.
The cream is rising to the top. And the discarded is dwindling down.
As I reach into my haversack and produce roles, positions and stations. I laugh, smile, feel some sadness and look at the reality of where this will all end this year. Actually sooner than the end of the year this time.
With that I leave you with this thought
If it is of importance to you then you will show, manage, be vigilant and wanton about it.
I have had a good time though with some new interactions. it is always fun to be able to talk about nerdy stuff, cartoons and the weird things that us black nerds are into. So that has been a breath of fresh air. Combined with these new recipes off of Facebook that I have been sharing and eating it is a nice exemption from the negative shit that is going on.
Preparing for the storm of destruction that will arrive in two weeks I guess. Not ready or feeling this at all. But going to make it do what it do.
Closer to my god daughters graduation also. lol this is going to be one for the books for sure. Life Unscripted will be super crazy while I am there.
I need to get my tattoo done before the summer hits as well so I need to go see Eddie and get that done.
The cream is rising to the top. And the discarded is dwindling down.
As I reach into my haversack and produce roles, positions and stations. I laugh, smile, feel some sadness and look at the reality of where this will all end this year. Actually sooner than the end of the year this time.
With that I leave you with this thought
If it is of importance to you then you will show, manage, be vigilant and wanton about it.
Saturday, March 17, 2018
Poetic Moment: I Risked It All
I Risked It All
From before the
moment we truly met
My desire for you
licked the flames
In person the sun
went nova
The journey began
I put behind my
mistrust and skepticism
It was time to take a
chance
For I saw a forever
in those eyes
Lost in my
captivation
The connection was
better than a T1 line
I dove in without
hesitation
After analyzing and
reanalyzing everything
In my heart and mind
The reasoning I could
no longer deny
Like a Shakespearean
play
I professed it all
Laid at your feet
every ounce of information
No pressure at all
Open
Vulnerable
Full disclosure
No pressure on you at
all
Maybe that is where I
fell
Or would fall
Regardless
The risk of having
you
Was worth it all
From the
chocolatezeus collection 3/17/18 ©
Poetic Tribute: In Love But Never Mind
In Love But Never Mind
Filled with
excitement and happiness
So many episodes of
you and me
Like tulips shining
brightly
Tulip festival
quality
Each moment together
Anticipated like
winning the lottery
Adventures blossomed
More times together
were fostered
Seeding each moment
of deeper desire
For you and me
Your disbelief
Catalyst to show you
just how much you mean to me
To make sure that you
understand
This treasure that
was available to you and me
I held onto it so
tightly
Choking life so much
that
It had no choice to
feel and recognize me
Until the moment came
Where revelations
were made
Reality fully
explained
So I tipped my hat
Smiled and thanked
for the opportunity
Bid my adieu to
You and me
So
Never mind
From the
chocolatezeus collection 3/17/18 ©
Friday, March 16, 2018
Expectations and Negotiations
What do you expect...
- from people
- from relationships
- from dynamics
Why do you negotiate...
- from people
- from relationships
- from dynamics
These things hold the ebb and flow of things through out our existence and daily life. I see both expectations and negotiations prevalent in all things that we do that encounters another individual.
The concept of expectation for me:
Well, I have to levels to this. There are the things that I expect myself to do in conjunction with others at their level, worth and station in my life. And there is the understanding that I expect everyone except one person to do what is in their best interest and only their best interest at all times.
There will be plenty that see this as cynical and negative but that doesn't change the truth of the matter. When it comes down to their decisions they are only going to be concerned about themselves. Call it human nature or whatever you want. It is a constantly proven case unless they choose to have someone that they won't do that with.
Negotiation and Me:
We negotiate everything with our interactions with people. From how much time they will get to if they can even talk to us at all. I can be subtle or overt.
I tend to have pretty stiff negotiations because of those things that I stand on as my principles. But there have been deviations in that program. I have made the mistake of not negotiating a D/s dynamic and relationship but hindsight is a bitch.
I feel that if I let you know my wants, desires, needs and interest then you have the information from which we can talk. And in talking about those things and the others stuff you negotiate whether you want to be bothered, if it is just something to do or if it has a deeper meaning than that. And there we delve into if there will be communication, a relation, relationship or dynamic.
Ahh the joys of discussion, education and experience.
How are your expectations and negotiations?
Monday, March 12, 2018
Psycho Therapy and Me
After a great read and discussion from someone I can understand there may be a point where I will see a professional before the end of this year. Especially because I am going to have to make a serious decision before the end of this year based on what is going on and has been going on or what may continue to go on from here on.
This discussion brought out the factors of truly breaking down the person that is the professional and making sure they are capable is highly important in even attempting the process.
Having heard the judgement of those that are therapists, counselors and psychologist has made me understand the pause and concern necessary. That along with their life experiences, feelings and all make them a liability mostly for me. Especially depending on their teaching and schools of thought.
So thankfully the discussion has created some interesting dialogue and thoughts.
Regardless decisions remain in place to be carried out no matter what this year. Time to streamline, refine and strengthen.
This discussion brought out the factors of truly breaking down the person that is the professional and making sure they are capable is highly important in even attempting the process.
Having heard the judgement of those that are therapists, counselors and psychologist has made me understand the pause and concern necessary. That along with their life experiences, feelings and all make them a liability mostly for me. Especially depending on their teaching and schools of thought.
So thankfully the discussion has created some interesting dialogue and thoughts.
Regardless decisions remain in place to be carried out no matter what this year. Time to streamline, refine and strengthen.
Week in Review...Cigar shop style
I am dealing with it all as usual. Making things happen and keep moving forward.
Love life is... Yeah, that shit is fucking funny right now. Tossing the hand nuke on that and moving on.
So I have to laugh because the guys and girl at the cigar shop are looking out for me. It is funny how they be on the look out for me on kink stuff as well. Hell they looked out for me with the kilt and some toys. lol But it really is entertaining how they are shocked by how I am. As has been said I am unlike any black man that they have met. From discussion on bdsm and poly to weapon systems and political policies. the diversity struck them with awe at first and then they got use to it. Conversations are always all over the place and we solve everything daily.
The issues with the male parental unit only get worse.
I am sticking to being by myself even more except for the few new ones that keep my interest and interact with. And I am probably going to down grade some more on the new front as well as my ongoing downgrading of known unknowns.
Things have gone on to spark creativity so I have been writing a lot. Inspirations always help inspire hot nasty sex writing and deep heartfelt expressions.
I am here within this whirlwind
reaping the Reaper
knowing my position
holding true to existence
I walk into this week amid the assaults. With the taste of darkness upon my soul.
have a great week. Make sure to invest time and effort into those who you are involved with and those things that need to be done.
Love life is... Yeah, that shit is fucking funny right now. Tossing the hand nuke on that and moving on.
So I have to laugh because the guys and girl at the cigar shop are looking out for me. It is funny how they be on the look out for me on kink stuff as well. Hell they looked out for me with the kilt and some toys. lol But it really is entertaining how they are shocked by how I am. As has been said I am unlike any black man that they have met. From discussion on bdsm and poly to weapon systems and political policies. the diversity struck them with awe at first and then they got use to it. Conversations are always all over the place and we solve everything daily.
The issues with the male parental unit only get worse.
I am sticking to being by myself even more except for the few new ones that keep my interest and interact with. And I am probably going to down grade some more on the new front as well as my ongoing downgrading of known unknowns.
Things have gone on to spark creativity so I have been writing a lot. Inspirations always help inspire hot nasty sex writing and deep heartfelt expressions.
I am here within this whirlwind
reaping the Reaper
knowing my position
holding true to existence
I walk into this week amid the assaults. With the taste of darkness upon my soul.
have a great week. Make sure to invest time and effort into those who you are involved with and those things that need to be done.
Sunday, March 11, 2018
Poetry: Acceptance of Inevitability
Acceptance of Inevitability
Arms held wide
My soul saying
Come inside
Your lips
That I want to fully
feel
Be engulfed within
their
Sphere of loving caress
Your curves melt
inside of me
With each embrace
Humanizing
I am here to
Take away your
previous lives
Come rest your soul
and mind
Release your confines
This connectivity
The results of
needing to
Live and breathe
Right here
Our pain
Ceases and is
released
Let us paint new
things
Fill up our new frame
With the expressions
and power
That make us
Infamous
Each kiss
Each touch
Every moment
Encapsulated
Destiny and design
Here is where we are
found
Here is where love
resides
Proud to have you
In my heart and soul
In my life
Now I close my eyes
The cutoff switch
applied
I am just fine
From the
chocolatezeus collection 3/11/18 ©
Poetic moments: This Volcanic State I am In
This Volcanic State I am In
My eyes burn
Tears somehow forming
Like a loss of
control
They haunt me
Fuck feeling
Embracing this hatred
and disdain
For emotion
Lava wells behind
each eye
Wishing these tears
were cauterizing
Sterilizing
Emotions and feelings
Like ribbons in the
sky
I am accosted
Held within this
torment
Encapsulated
I relent
From the
chocolatezeus collection 3/11/18 ©
Wednesday, March 07, 2018
The Thing Called Marriage
Folks have been wanting to converse, give their opinion and even give their side comments and silence lately on a lot of stuff. So here we go with this.
I believe in marriage and what it presents and represents. If those involved want to TRULY be together they can be married and do it. I know that is not the popular comment because everyone needs to be by themselves and all that stuff. Well thanks for informing those that are not hindered in their thoughts, feelings and lives. But I am happy and supportive of those and their desire, ideologies and all on relations, relationships, situationships and marriage.
Marriage is NOT for the weak. Meaning those that are scared of everything or need their version of control to be maintained in their own eyes just have what it takes to do, understand or appreciate marriage. And that is part of free will.
I had a great marriage. But it wasn't all roses and cotton candy. We had our issues and problems both before and during. But here is the secret. We accepted ourselves, each other and what we wanted, had and could have in our connection. We decided to give are all in those pursuits regardless.
How do you make marriage or any other relationship work? By dedication, communication, support, commitment, connection and actual true love. if you are pretending or unable in these areas then you get what you get.
I hear the woes, complaints and all daily from folks. In passing, guys at the shop, reading posts online as well as those that I have come to associate with.
My point of view:
I am about marriage. I always wanted it and when I had it I was happy through it all. I even still wanted it for a while after Chocolate Doll dies since I gave my word I wouldn't just destroy it and move on. Well now that I have given it the college try and spoke my mind and heart to who I thought was worthy my desire, actions and all concerning marriage have adjusted to the modern day.
No longer do I attempt to or chase marriage. I don't even desire it anymore. That doesn't mean that I am not open to it if a worthy woman or women came and the opportunity presented itself. But it means I am good without the need for marriage or to have some faux pas version it. The girls think that I was lying or didn't grasp what I was saying. But the proof has not only been in what I said but in my actions from last year into infinity.
Marriage gave me and created so many different aspects, experiences and gifts that I am so damn proud and happy for.
Because of marriage I am blessed and can handle the current attitudes, issues and all that present themselves with the opposite gender. I am open minded, loving and caring against the opposing force of fear of vulnerability, emotions, feelings and love.
This is my position. you can do and feel how you choose. I have no problem or concern with that. And it is ok if your mad, don't understand or in ultimate denial of what I have said.
Be blessed and be yourself...
I believe in marriage and what it presents and represents. If those involved want to TRULY be together they can be married and do it. I know that is not the popular comment because everyone needs to be by themselves and all that stuff. Well thanks for informing those that are not hindered in their thoughts, feelings and lives. But I am happy and supportive of those and their desire, ideologies and all on relations, relationships, situationships and marriage.
Marriage is NOT for the weak. Meaning those that are scared of everything or need their version of control to be maintained in their own eyes just have what it takes to do, understand or appreciate marriage. And that is part of free will.
I had a great marriage. But it wasn't all roses and cotton candy. We had our issues and problems both before and during. But here is the secret. We accepted ourselves, each other and what we wanted, had and could have in our connection. We decided to give are all in those pursuits regardless.
How do you make marriage or any other relationship work? By dedication, communication, support, commitment, connection and actual true love. if you are pretending or unable in these areas then you get what you get.
I hear the woes, complaints and all daily from folks. In passing, guys at the shop, reading posts online as well as those that I have come to associate with.
My point of view:
I am about marriage. I always wanted it and when I had it I was happy through it all. I even still wanted it for a while after Chocolate Doll dies since I gave my word I wouldn't just destroy it and move on. Well now that I have given it the college try and spoke my mind and heart to who I thought was worthy my desire, actions and all concerning marriage have adjusted to the modern day.
No longer do I attempt to or chase marriage. I don't even desire it anymore. That doesn't mean that I am not open to it if a worthy woman or women came and the opportunity presented itself. But it means I am good without the need for marriage or to have some faux pas version it. The girls think that I was lying or didn't grasp what I was saying. But the proof has not only been in what I said but in my actions from last year into infinity.
Marriage gave me and created so many different aspects, experiences and gifts that I am so damn proud and happy for.
Because of marriage I am blessed and can handle the current attitudes, issues and all that present themselves with the opposite gender. I am open minded, loving and caring against the opposing force of fear of vulnerability, emotions, feelings and love.
This is my position. you can do and feel how you choose. I have no problem or concern with that. And it is ok if your mad, don't understand or in ultimate denial of what I have said.
Be blessed and be yourself...
Tuesday, March 06, 2018
Poetry: Anne Frank Lullaby
my laughter permeates the cosmos
anticipation of the precipitation of
culmination
my grin
my smile
Wait
what was this again
a defied
defined
sub atomic
remnant
snicker
guffaw
now down to
the guttural
business
epic
epicenter
signifying nothing
expounding on everything
holding court over
nothing
There goes the signal flare
simply smiling
huddled
surrounded by
destined
destiny
from the chocolatezeus collection. 3/6/18. (c)
anticipation of the precipitation of
culmination
my grin
my smile
Wait
what was this again
a defied
defined
sub atomic
remnant
snicker
guffaw
now down to
the guttural
business
epic
epicenter
signifying nothing
expounding on everything
holding court over
nothing
There goes the signal flare
simply smiling
huddled
surrounded by
destined
destiny
from the chocolatezeus collection. 3/6/18. (c)
Poem: When you Show Me
from the conception of your first
breath in my presence
action that I bared witness
words that seeped from your existence
you showed me
with the stalwart affect
billowing personnel content
evident security check
you showed me
through processed time
creases within your mind
aptly proportionate design
you showed me
upon a funeral pyre
submerged in the san Andreas trench
aloft in the ionosphere
you showed me
the calm came
silence befriended
ripples subsided
you showed me
And I Believe it
from the chocolatezeus collection. 3/6/18. (c)
breath in my presence
action that I bared witness
words that seeped from your existence
you showed me
with the stalwart affect
billowing personnel content
evident security check
you showed me
through processed time
creases within your mind
aptly proportionate design
you showed me
upon a funeral pyre
submerged in the san Andreas trench
aloft in the ionosphere
you showed me
the calm came
silence befriended
ripples subsided
you showed me
And I Believe it
from the chocolatezeus collection. 3/6/18. (c)
Monday, March 05, 2018
Contemplation in Delineation
This will be based on captured moments and conversations.
I am not sure if it is a trend or just modern day way or life or thinking.
But why is it such and issue for those that are supposed to be in relationships to have a difference of opinion? It is like that difference of opinion is violating chicks deeply. Because I won't and don't see, act or take things exactly as they perceive and feel it creates this major critical demolition in them.
The inability to have a discussion where there is listening as well as expression is a dead end with them.
What happened to being able to actually be with someone and you don't agree but you still remained strong and together?
Where did understanding and acceptance actually go?
Burger King and the sliding scale...
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