Saturday, March 17, 2018

Poetic Moment: I Risked It All


I Risked It All



From before the moment we truly met
My desire for you licked the flames
In person the sun went nova

The journey began
I put behind my mistrust and skepticism
It was time to take a chance
For I saw a forever in those eyes

Lost in my captivation
The connection was better than a T1 line
I dove in without hesitation
After analyzing and reanalyzing everything
In my heart and mind
The reasoning I could no longer deny

Like a Shakespearean play
I professed it all
Laid at your feet every ounce of information
No pressure at all

Open
Vulnerable
Full disclosure
No pressure on you at all

Maybe that is where I fell
Or would fall

Regardless
The risk of having you
Was worth it all


From the chocolatezeus collection  3/17/18  ©

Poetic Tribute: In Love But Never Mind


In Love But Never Mind



Filled with excitement and happiness
So many episodes of you and me
Like tulips shining brightly
Tulip festival quality

Each moment together
Anticipated like winning the lottery

Adventures blossomed
More times together were fostered
Seeding each moment of deeper desire
For you and me

Your disbelief
Catalyst to show you just how much you mean to me
To make sure that you understand
This treasure that was available to you and me

I held onto it so tightly
Choking life so much that
It had no choice to feel and recognize me

Until the moment came
Where revelations were made
Reality fully explained

So I tipped my hat
Smiled and thanked for the opportunity
Bid my adieu to

You and me

So
Never mind



From the chocolatezeus collection  3/17/18  ©

Friday, March 16, 2018

Expectations and Negotiations

What do you expect...

  • from people
  • from relationships
  • from dynamics
Why do you negotiate...
  • from people
  • from relationships
  • from dynamics

These things hold the ebb and flow of things through out our existence and daily life. I see both expectations and negotiations prevalent in all things that we do that encounters another individual. 


The concept of expectation for me:

Well, I have to levels to this. There are the things that I expect myself to do in conjunction with others at their level, worth and station in my life. And there is the understanding that I expect everyone except one person to do what is in their best interest and only their best interest at all times. 

There will be plenty that see this as cynical and negative but that doesn't change the truth of the matter. When it comes down to their decisions they are only going to be concerned about themselves. Call it human nature or whatever you want. It is a constantly proven case unless they choose to have someone that they won't do that with. 


Negotiation and Me:

We negotiate everything with our interactions with people. From how much time they will get to if they can even talk to us at all. I can be subtle or overt. 

I tend to have pretty stiff negotiations because of those things that I stand on as my principles. But there have been deviations in that program. I have made the mistake of not negotiating a D/s dynamic and relationship but hindsight is a bitch. 

I feel that if I let you know my wants, desires, needs and interest then you have the information from which we can talk. And in talking about those things and the others stuff you negotiate whether you want to be bothered, if it is just something to do or if it has a deeper meaning than that.  And there we delve into if there will be communication, a relation, relationship or dynamic. 


Ahh the joys of discussion, education and experience.


How are your expectations and negotiations?

Monday, March 12, 2018

Psycho Therapy and Me

After a great read and discussion from someone I can understand there may be a point where I will see a professional before the end of this year. Especially because I am going to have to make a serious decision before the end of this year based on what is going on and has been going on or what may continue to go on from here on.

This discussion brought out the factors of truly breaking down the person that is the professional and making sure they are capable is highly important in even attempting the process.

Having heard the judgement of those that are therapists, counselors and psychologist has made me understand the pause and concern necessary. That along with their life experiences, feelings and all make them a liability mostly for me. Especially depending on their teaching and schools of thought.

So thankfully the discussion has created some interesting dialogue and thoughts.

Regardless decisions remain in place to be carried out no matter what this year. Time to streamline, refine and strengthen.

Week in Review...Cigar shop style

I am dealing with it all as usual. Making things happen and keep moving forward.

Love life is...   Yeah, that shit is fucking funny right now. Tossing the hand nuke on that and moving on.

So I have to laugh because the guys and girl at the cigar shop are looking out for me. It is funny how they be on the look out for me on kink stuff as well. Hell they looked out for me with the kilt and some toys. lol But it really is entertaining how they are shocked by how I am. As has been said I am unlike any black man that they have met. From discussion on bdsm and poly to weapon systems and political policies. the diversity struck them with awe at first and then they got use to it. Conversations are always all over the place and we solve everything daily.

The issues with the male parental unit only get worse.

I am sticking to being by myself even more except for the few new ones that keep my interest and interact with.  And I am probably going to down grade some more on the new front as well as my ongoing downgrading of known unknowns.

Things have gone on to spark creativity so I have been writing a lot. Inspirations always help inspire hot nasty sex writing and deep heartfelt expressions.

I am here within this whirlwind
reaping the Reaper
knowing my position
holding true to existence


I walk into this week amid the assaults. With the taste of darkness upon my soul.


have a great week. Make sure to invest time and effort into those who you are involved with and those things that need to be done.

Sunday, March 11, 2018

Poetry: Acceptance of Inevitability


Acceptance of Inevitability


Arms held wide
My soul saying
Come inside

Your lips
That I want to fully feel
Be engulfed within their
Sphere of loving caress

Your curves melt inside of me
With each embrace
Humanizing

I am here to
Take away your previous lives
Come rest your soul and mind
Release your confines

This connectivity
The results of needing to
Live and breathe

Right here
Our pain
Ceases and is released

Let us paint new things
Fill up our new frame
With the expressions and power
That make us
Infamous

Each kiss
Each touch
Every moment

Encapsulated
Destiny and design

Here is where we are found
Here is where love resides

Proud to have you
In my heart and soul
In my life

Now I close my eyes
The cutoff switch applied

I am just fine



From the chocolatezeus collection  3/11/18  ©

Poetic moments: This Volcanic State I am In


This Volcanic State I am In



My eyes burn
Tears somehow forming

Like a loss of control
They haunt me

Fuck feeling
Embracing this hatred and disdain
For emotion

Lava wells behind each eye
Wishing these tears were cauterizing
Sterilizing
Emotions and feelings

Like ribbons in the sky
I am accosted
Held within this torment

Encapsulated
I relent



From the chocolatezeus collection  3/11/18  ©

Wednesday, March 07, 2018

The Thing Called Marriage

Folks have been wanting to converse, give their opinion and even give their side comments and silence lately on a lot of stuff. So here we go with this.

I believe in marriage and what it presents and represents. If those involved want to TRULY be together they can be married and do it. I know that is not the popular comment because everyone needs to be by themselves and all that stuff. Well thanks for informing those that are not hindered in their thoughts, feelings and lives. But I am happy and supportive of those and their desire, ideologies and all on relations, relationships, situationships and marriage.

Marriage is NOT for the weak. Meaning those that are scared of everything or need their version of control to be maintained in their own eyes just have what it takes to do, understand or appreciate marriage. And that is part of free will.

I had a great marriage. But it wasn't all roses and cotton candy. We had our issues and problems both before and during.  But here is the secret. We accepted ourselves, each other and what we wanted, had and could have in our connection. We decided to give are all in those pursuits regardless.

How do you make marriage or any other relationship work? By dedication, communication, support, commitment, connection and actual true love.  if you are pretending or unable in these areas then you get what you get.

I hear the woes, complaints and all daily from folks. In passing, guys at the shop, reading posts online as well as those that I have come to associate with.

My point of view:

I am about marriage. I always wanted it and when I had it I was happy through it all. I even still wanted it for a while after Chocolate Doll dies since I gave my word I wouldn't just destroy it and move on. Well now that I have given it the college try and spoke my mind and heart to who I thought was worthy my desire, actions and all concerning marriage have adjusted to the modern day.

No longer do I attempt to or chase marriage. I don't even desire it anymore. That doesn't mean that I am not open to it if a worthy woman or women came and the opportunity presented itself.  But it means I am good without the need for marriage or to have some faux pas version it.  The girls think that I was lying or didn't grasp what I was saying. But the proof has not only been in what I said but in my actions from last year into infinity.

Marriage gave me and created so many different aspects, experiences and gifts that I am so damn proud and happy for.

Because of marriage I am blessed and can handle the current attitudes, issues and all that present themselves with the opposite gender. I am open minded, loving and caring against the opposing force of fear of vulnerability, emotions, feelings and love.


This is my position. you can do and feel how you choose. I have no problem or concern with that. And it is ok if your mad, don't understand or in ultimate denial of what I have said.


Be blessed and be yourself...

Tuesday, March 06, 2018

Poetry: Anne Frank Lullaby

my laughter permeates the cosmos
anticipation of the precipitation of
culmination

my grin
my smile

Wait
what was this again

a defied
defined
sub atomic
remnant

snicker
guffaw

now down to
the guttural
business

epic
epicenter
signifying nothing

expounding on everything
holding court over
nothing

There goes the signal flare

simply smiling

huddled
surrounded by

destined
destiny



from the chocolatezeus collection. 3/6/18. (c)

Poem: When you Show Me

from the conception of your first
breath in my presence
action that I bared witness
words that seeped from your existence

you showed me

with the stalwart affect
billowing personnel content
evident security check

you showed me

through processed time
creases within your mind
aptly proportionate design

you showed me

upon a funeral pyre
submerged in the san Andreas trench
aloft in the ionosphere

you showed me

the calm came
silence befriended
ripples subsided

you showed me

And I Believe it




from the chocolatezeus collection. 3/6/18. (c)

Monday, March 05, 2018

Contemplation in Delineation

This will be based on captured moments and conversations. 

I am not sure if it is a trend or just modern day way or life or thinking. 

But why is it such and issue for those that are supposed to be in relationships to have a difference of opinion? It is like that difference of opinion is violating chicks deeply. Because I won't and don't see, act or take things exactly as they perceive and feel it creates this major critical demolition in them. 

The inability to have a discussion where there is listening as well as expression is a dead end with them. 

What happened to being able to actually be with someone and you don't agree but you still remained strong and together? 

Where did understanding and acceptance actually go? 


Burger King and the sliding scale...


Sunday, March 04, 2018

The Flow and Laughter of It All

So this will be all over the place but I am a damn caveman and that is what I do.

ACC women's basketball tournament wasn't like it use to be back in the day. There wasn't all the crowds of people or anything. Rather lackluster. And they didn't really market it at all either it seems. Since this is the first year back after the bathroom bill charade I guess it hasn't caught on.

It seems that I am back in counselor and teaching mode. From helping submissives and slaves to talking to vanillas I have never met. I am still weary about helping anyone anymore after last years mess with them females. But it is a part of me no matter how hard I try to shake it apparently.

Some great talks about travel, movies, comics and food have happened with some new people lately. It has been refreshing to communicate at times. Have conversation and exchange interest and creativity.

I have played the Team Titans album a few times. Washed in emotion, feelings and memories provided some great poems and plenty of reflection. Still have to finish a few more from while I was gone.

The discussions about my version of poly. Being a Dominant and love have definitely been colorful. From those that feel it is an issue because what I have chosen to do doesn't fit their little minds and what the masses say I am supposed to do about being poly and those I am involved with. Or the big thing about how I am involved or not involved with others. And of course the usual issue about those that are supposed to be mine having a higher place than others (apparently they don't want to be special to me.)

I have had to really look at the comedy of love, relations and marriage now. Most know that I am pro love, relationships and marriage. But the disconnect they have is that I no longer have an interest really in love or marriage. It is if they can actually love me and not have a melt down then fine. The marriage thing is dead. Unless someone seriously worthy shows up and can handle the role without all the fucked up issues then I am extra good.  But little one and red have both said the same thing along with others that I haven't given up on those things and i still want them. Well truth is in the action and the action has been showing that there is ABSOLUTE ZERO left.  Just sticking with the policy of get in where you fit in if you want. I am still not chasing or making effort if there is not any effort or interest. Plug and play!

BB2 is moving into service stage as soon as I clear up some more stuff. Then I will add them and spread everything out so there will be more coverage for me just like in the old days with a less intimate demeanor.

I am still enjoying Black Panther. Glad that they did a different style movie. Looking forward to Deadpool 2 next.

lol after talking to josh really thinking about going to pick up a few wives for entertainement, sex and financial purposes.

The R/C shop was nice this weekend. Definitely have to head back there. And they had an F 4 corsair and a spitfire there. It is on now.

And cigar shops are life! The place where i go and always end up laughing and talking to a bunch of folk that I have no idea about.  I just need to get up north and hang out with more black chicks that smoke cigars though. There are some fine ones.

And then there is the graduation for my god daughter coming up on memorial day weekend of all weekends. I need a woman to go with me to chaperone, fuck me and for me to beat while I am there. Because it is going to be a hot mess for me. Still have to support my god daughter though. I need to work on someone to do that with now.

And back to the old school is where it is at once again. This year will be back to the basics and being on the go and all that. So yeah, it's on already.

I hope your time has been enlightening and entertaining as mine. There will be more to come in this journey of Life Unscripted though. (the other stuff is where you know it has to be...lol)

Thursday, March 01, 2018

Poetic Moment: Lockon Stratus


Lockon Stratus



Come taste my heart beat
Dine upon a love so cold
Let your palette be spoiled by
My fierce passion

As I grip your heart, mind and soul
Destroying your deteriorated feelings
You past imprisonment

Replaced with

Your unexplained craving
Distinct disdain and hatred
For what you feel for me

Fight it
Fight it

The bittersweet, spoiled taste of
You and me

Here in this ethos
Through our astral intimacy
You conflict shows
Prominently
My sniper shots found their mark
Each struck your armored plated heart
Premeditated defenses from your very start

Now I bask in your turmoil
Lick my lips in your quagmire

If only you opened up to
Our parts

My armored piercing rounds
Shot


From the chocolatezeus collection  3/1/18  ©