Standing At Guarded Attention

I am not the people person.
Nor am I the socialite.

Relationship wise I can be classified as "In the darkest night."

One of the drawbacks of being Onslaught is that when you are stuck waiting it really, really affects you a lot. Moving forward with intent and purpose constantly you seek immediate results and understanding. Not knowing what is coming next because there has been no answer yet is akin to torturous.

But this is the plight that you deal with and live with when it comes to humans. Especially females.

Forming, keeping and managing relationships are already difficult.

I guess it probably is just me. The Zeus element is the cause apparently. The way I am just me causes the humans to respond indifferently.

With females it is like there is a wall that says I can't fall for this even if I want to. Adrienne was the only anomaly that could partially do that so far. And I guess I got spoiled from that.

Hell I just want what I want to work out and move forward.

The tactical board is really a mess right now. And my predictive skills are not showing right now. Hell if I know what is what right this second. And I would be lying if I claimed it didn't bother me.

Life's Personal Labyrinth

My patience is thin.
I go after what I want and if it is not immediate then my interest wanes.
Full speed ahead and Battle Stations tends to be my thing.

It is said I should let people in. But I don't see that ever happening. That was my beginning. Before my evolution that is how things were. I just had to learn to focus on important things more.

I have no problems with my feelings flowing. Giving all of me and more in loving and caring intent. And I willfully and intently give without a second thought.

Yes, the same things that make me the evil stronghold are the things that give those in my world everything that I can.  And this is the part Lil Red wants me to allow other people in to see.

Yes, I keep the people that I don't count in my world separate. It doesn't mean I don't speak or that I am not cordial. I am merely wary. It can be seen as distant because I don't do a lot of talking or being in people's faces and all.

I deal with life as it comes. I see it as a constant onslaught. And I have fought and fought.

Right now I don't know what may happen. The things I want are not solidified or happening at the speed or way I chose. So I continued to play the hurry up and wait episode of life. My intentions, desires, wants and needs have been made and communicated.

Stuck in the whirlwind.
Unmoving.

Moments, Moods, Thoughts: Unearthed Treasure

Unearthed Treasure

Like an

Anti-Ahab to the Whale

Twisted adventure

Failed yet

Successful

Oblivious

I walked into you

The solution to this weirdness

Post requisite to

What I

Want and need

Laughing at how it began

With apathetic

Non communication

Destiny set in

New environment

New situation

Big Bang Theory

Proven

Two forces of nature

Mutually exclusive

Culminating

Creating

This

Super nova

Awakening

Without treasure hunting

The grail

Was seen

As I bask in the light

Treasuring

From the chocolatezeus collection  1/25/15  ©

Calming The Savage Beast

Through the rage and intensity. The Hulk Smash propensity.  I am a caged beast unleashed constantly. That does not mean that there is not or cannot be peace and tranquility when it comes to me. 

I find peace in the things I enjoy. Hell, atl was some serious needed peace of great proportions. Going to the Cigar Room here in bama was peace yesterday. Sitting around smoking, talking and laughing at people that are there enjoying themselves regardless of who or what they are in life. Hell, even took a shot with them after one of the guys passed out airplane bottles to everyone there to take a shot together for the new year. 

Some of the things that bring me peace and happiness:

• someone I am connected to
• great and a lot of sex
• great food
• conversation that stimulates
• laughter
• great cigars
• traveling 
• movies, reading and music

With these things life can be dealt with and defused.  These are the moments I remember and hold onto constantly. The hold on reality and the chaos that reigns supreme in everything. 

Effects, Affects and Being Zeus

Yes, I can admit I get tunnel vision about some things. I don't notice them at all at times. So with that said...here we go.

I am giving, mean, loving, caring, apathetic and completely unusual. My inner circle is like being the Illuminati to me. When I accept your application and allow you in the trumpets blare and the festivities are of royalty. The outside of that I may acknowledge your existence depending on the moment of the day and what is going on with me.

I thrive on that love, affection, support and vibe that I share to those that are close to me. I will never deny or downplay that. My words and my actions should convey that. Sometimes more effectively than others. I have never seen this as a negative aspect or weakness. It has always been strength and fortitude.  And I have seen the point HQ made about maybe missing opportunities. But that is outweighed by the diamonds that are more prevalent through all that being picky.

I am the yin and yang of the dark and the light all rolled up into one being. The past has groomed me to be stronger and more stoic. While the future still holds hope for me. I still see it in it's bitter reality. So, I can be a romantic or the evil one with the booming voice for no reason.

By no means will I ever say I am easy to deal with all the time. After all I am a captain caveman, club carrying chauvinist in true form. But I will love you intensely, care for and about you as well as be there with you as much as possible.

I know what I want and even who I want it with. The problem is always that I am not the only one in the equation. So I ride the waves of life to see where they will lead to.

Coming off eye opening revelations, smiles and feeling great. I ponder on the next thing. The movement into more of me.

I have embraced my sadistic and unique ways. From the super horny, greedy fuck you to death happily and try to kill me with orgasms me.  To the give me all the pain that you seek and can keep so that I can make you my Pain Masterpiece. And allowing more and more of my Beast Mode out has been intoxicating. I am glad I did it in steps and have been able to let more of it loose. The ultimate beast mode still spars some concern for me but I lick my lips in anticipating it's delicious release.  So many skills have to be worked on to reach the peak.

As Ru Ru and I have said to each other. Our sex drives are super crazy. We are not in the best of shape but fucking, sucking and everything for ours is like automatic with us. If I am feeling you and enjoying us fucking. I will gladly fuck you for days, weeks and eternity. They said us old men shouldn't want sex anymore. that at 20 we have reached our peak and fall there after rapidly. Then why does it seem that my need and desire is increasing? It leaves me with that sexual heightened energy. In a frenzy.  And I recognize the recipient may not be taking it the way I am. *lol* But it be calling me!

So I am working on the relationships that I want and intend to keep. The ones that are not cutting it will be released. The ones I want I am sinking more energy, passion and everything into them. I guess those recipients better get ready for more intensity.

This months adventure was a blessing. One that I am still basking in and thankful for. Showing me what can be. The vibe and connection that is awe inspiring.

The life of Zeus. Full adventure and notoriety.

Licorice, A Series of Excellent Events

I have to say that the time spent in that A was one of the best ever! It had everything going for it:

• excitement
• ultimate comedy
• thought provoking conversation
• laughter supreme
• plenty of diversity
• Feeding the Need

After such a tumultuous time during the holidays. It was past time. Just to get some quality time and enjoy adult companionship. 

And hanging out with HQ is always story provoking memories. 

I realized some evolution in all this. The ability to survive waiting and being patient increased slightly. I can say I have been tested and failed repeatedly.

The journey in BDSM and being a Dom continues. Keeping my mind open to knowledge. Solidifying principles and ideology. I took last year to really observe and get some ground floor understanding to what I wanted and required. Though the journey has just begun. I feel better by the moment. 

Though I am still not sure about poly right now. Only because I want that established relationship first, instead of adding two in the beginning and possibly making a mess of it all. It is important to give the relationship the proper start instead of just throwing caution to the wind. Even working on my kink has to be done. And I am improving on that as well. I need plenty of rope practice. I need a rope bunny to practice on regularly so I can gain knowledge. I definitely cannot wait for shibaricon. It is going to be another great, first time adventure. 

lol back to the time had...

It was peaceful. Just enjoying the moments. Kicking back and relaxing. Getting cuddle time and massaged always makes Big Evil mellow.

The people at the conference were nice and pleasant. Definitely excited and glad to have participated. Many seeing old colleagues and friends.

Time flew by unfortunately. Just never enough time when you are having fun. I received a number of gifts. One that I was hoping for more than others. And ending up being the most pleasantly shocking. Like a kid in a candy and toy store I am happy. 

What adventure can be complete without the interuption of the parental units into the equation. Thankfully it was towards the last two days of the willy wonka chocolate factory.

Need to relive this multiple times a day!

Through the Distorted Microscope

When the talk of chivalry comes up people are stuck on what it use to be. Mainly females. But when you want to go with this "think like a man" mentality you can't have it both ways. So you add to the stupid confusion that is already prevalent.

I have watched the deterioration of relationships for no reason. Well no reason that made any sense outside of their own head. Because when one chooses to change the relationship and disregard what the relationship meant and was then they made a choice that they no longer want to be in it.

This ridiculous mess of staying with someone that you are miserable with and need to constantly argue with is unbelievable. And these individuals will come up with any excuse in the universe to make it make sense to them.  Sleeping in separate bedrooms. Pretending children don't know and using them as excuses.

The ideology that females can be males has gotten them and everything thoroughly fucked up. But that has been the goal apparently.

The use of words like family and loyalty have really messed up people that already didn't a clue in the first place. And now they spit this rhetoric like they have knowledge of something but yet have no clue at all.

We are at perpetual war. Blacks are targeted and executed. And the rich have decided to eliminate and/or enslave everyone else so they can stay where they are at and get richer.

Divergent Puzzle Pieces

Letting the ink speak and spill thoughts of life's experience. So here it is:

Divergent Puzzle Pieces

Coming from mixed

Analogies and fallacies

Mixed so thoroughly

In our purity

Just seek to fit

Fit, our own intent

Here we are

Linked

Synced

In ways that

Make you wary

Talking to disbelief

Intricate

Fitted

As if we were guided

Honed in to

Piece to piece

Among so many

Other normalities

We are

That niche

Even when we fight it

Deny it

It still remains

We FIT

Stop fighting it

From the chocolatezeus collection  1/9/15  ©

Movies and Televisions Shows Today...WTH

Okay I just watched the first episode of this new show Empire with Taraji P Henson. Now she is sexy as hell and I have been wanting to fuck her into a few comas and bring her back for more.

It has Terrance Howard and Malik Yoba in it as well. But it really seems like some housewives of garbage type of show. It is obviously geared towards females and gays from this first episode. And that is fine. But what is the actual plot and where is the content. So called bad bitch gets out of prison and wants what she thinks she is owed by the baby daddy when she went in.

So apparently this is going to be some hood type fantasy where black folks really don't handle business well and take things back to the streets as usual. Or never left the streets.  Real black business owners and gangsta's don't run it messy like this. How the hell do you just let someone walk up unannounced into your board and company meeting?

I am going to try one more episode before i nail the coffin.


Agent Carter

Now I am not all that familiar with her character in comics besides knowing her name and she worked for SHIELD. But how in the hell is she getting this run? Once again I know that this is for the females to have their hero who can run around in 50s attire to beat and shoot people while being a spy.  So with that said I love a good female hero. But where is a story line that will have and keep me interested. We get brief appearances of Howard Stark. Other than that there really is nothing else at all.  She is trying to clear his name but we only get half hazard attempts at something interesting.  The most interesting thing is that Jarvis is on here as the actual butler.  Which makes for a brief respite.  Another note to mention...the camera lens and the fact that she wears colors that stand out against the background and other characters make it interesting.

The Hobbit: Battle of Five Armies

Now, I had bee waiting to see this and it did not disappoint at all. It was breathe taking. The scenery, action and details were overwhelming just like it should be. After reading the book this is an excellent rendition of the battle. This movie was decently close to the way the book was thankfully. The skillfulness of the combatants kept you trying to capture everything, while knowing you missed a bunch of stuff.

I will have to watch it again in a little while after writing this. lol


Quality entertainment is hard to find these days. 

Searching For The Perfect Beat

I have always sought something extraordinary.  A woman, relationship that leaves me spent and craving. Lost on an astral plane of existence. Killing me with pleasure is what I want to be my ultimate end.

This search has brought me some hazmat relatinship situations and some very memorable I would love to repeat escapades. From those I dated, played with and my wife. Things have only gotten freakier and increasing the need for more and more. As I look back, now and forward though I wonder if it is just a lost cause. A pipe dream. As my sex drive and desire keeps increasing. There is no outlet for sex or my need to be ultimately sadistic. Last year I finally had a chance to let some of that out and I am even more addicted now. Wanton for the combination of orgasms and responses to the pain I inflict. Enjoying every last time she cums only to make her cum even more. Then to only overload her sensations to the point where she is lost in a haze.

I have kept them cumming past their point of comfort. To feed my need for that super stimulation. They thought it was about them until that barrier of their mind's comfort was destroyed and there was only my pleasure. Draining every last squirt from their body only to make them squirt from some unknown place again. I just keep saying feed me. Feed me what I need. Combine me flogging, tying, padding and caning them. My hunger is ferrocious now.

The results have not always been the best for them. For I have broken the ones that everyone else saw as the females that couldn't be broke. She don't tap out as I laugh at myself because I know she does. Because I have made them tap out and more. To the point when we showed up at swing parties that I had to promise not to make them do it in public. I like breaking the proclaimed boss, diva, superfemale. Makes me grin with enthusiasm.

Unfortunately this formula is broken. Wanting a relationship with a capable woman and sub/slave has become me trying to escape the labyrinth.  Even though it has been told to me that I scare prospects off that may be interested in me. I stick to the fact that it weeds out the ones that can't cut it right off the bat. The frauds and ones that are not strong enough to be with or deal with me. I am closed off to those that can't accept and understand that I am just going to be me. I step up to the plate and let my intentions and wants be known. All I ask is to be real and be yourself. Don't fight what you feel, need and want. Dealing with females though that is a difficult task I have seen.

What do I want you ask? A Woman! One that can be stimulating in a multiple of ways. Loving, caring and understanding. Accept me and understand that I treat those I love and care about like the treasure that they are to me. But I don't give a second look at things outside of the circle. So I need them to focus on the glow that is us. She has to feed me sexually. From the many marathon sex sessions, to being my ultimate slut and whore. I want to be taken to the brink. Put me to sleep and make me tap out for once in my life. Kill me with pleasure.  I want a woman that is mine and my sub/slave. The whole package in one.  Give me the sexy ass woman with the relationship that can't be eclipsed!

After saying all this. I sit back and look at the brick wall with the razor wire still sitting in front of me. Wondering if a woman will have the mental stability and fortitude to join me in this journey and let's be the Legends that we are meant to be.  It is hard when you have females that can't be themselves and feed you bullshit visions of themselves. Or the mental blocks that won't let them free themselves to live and love life.

As I sit here amid the rubble and obstacles I wonder what direction if any I can travel? Will I get the woman I seek? Or will I just have to stick with just some play things and let intimate things die peacefully.

Crossroads
Land mines
and the abyss

From Holidays and Beyond!!

From the aftermath of:

• the holidays
• parental units
• relatives
• relationships and lack there of
• analysis

Comes the re-certified and reconstituted me.

Apocalypse: Crown of Chaos

Tendrils of light

Encased by the all encompassing

Hues of darkness

Light

Dark

Separate reigns

Held in my same hand

Lightning clashes

Tranquil wave splashes

Simply put

I am the calm

As Hell is unleashed

Time

Beings

Fighting their life’s fallacies

Both my enemy

My duty

To show and teach

Through the hatred and fear

Of me

All hail

Be consumed

For in your imprisonment

I will set you free

Chaos Reigns

That chaos is ME

From the chocolatezeus collection  1/7/15  ©

2014 A Year In Another Universe

The last night of the year. I look back and even I have to really wonder about all the things that have happened this year. 

This summer I traveled and had a good time. Adventures Zeus style. Plenty of laughter and enjoyment. Met someone I didn't even get along with at first. Interestingly enough that is the opposite now. I also had the curtain lifted on the fog and parlor tricks to me.  Ultimate realization that I dearly miss my family.

I grew exponentially in my bdsm learning. Indulged and finally found some sadistic release. Found the relationship I would like to have and enjoy for eternity.  Went to Black Beat and saw first hand the different aspects of individuals in the lifestyle and how they can be. The good, bad and ugly.  It all helped me refine what I wanted and understand what I didn't need.

After having one of the worst years ever and horrid holiday memories. I realize that there had to be a quantum leap in being me. To not only regain the things that I have lost but to surge forward in a nuclear intensity. 

From relationships, lack there of, and the one wanted. Made me realize how am just like Halo's Master Chief. Duty bound even when I disagree. The one that leaps in and fights to the teeth.  Yet, vulnerable as I await my peace. 

Into the void I leap. 

Strapped to the teeth.

Declaration of War

Lost in a year that will live in

Infamy

Cauterized

Lycanthrope releases

Seething

I challenge the future

We will battle for eternity

My intensity increased to

Super Saiyan times ten

I take back and ascend

Into the darker side of me

Regaining and surpassing

What use to be

Never again will these memories

Be repeated

Giving all and everything from here on back

Their eulogy

Battle cry

2015

Opens with this

Determined ferocity

No weapon forged will stop me

For I am the ultimate weapon

Let the

Carnage

Chaos

My breathing

Begin and increase

Ready or not

The battle is coming

From the chocolatezeus collection  12/31/14  ©

The House of Havoc!!!!

This year solidified a lot of things. Open my eyes to things and people I thought were real. So let's let the Borg free shall we!

There use to be individuals that were constants in my life. Ones that I looked out for and gave up for.  Love and caring were second nature. Now, like the rest there is merely apathy. When you make our relationship a memory instead of a priority. Then I merely dismiss you and see you as something and some memories. And there was a surprise there for me. Because I never would have thought it until the discrepancies and all floated to the surface of our dead sea. Or when a friendship takes no relevance until you might remember that we were once friends and call out the blue again.

Relationships have always been mission impossible for me because females just can't seem to function, think and become a woman like they should be. With each encounter there was a diminished capacity for the probability of true relationships because of females and women being inept terribly. Step forward, explain what you want and are looking for. Slap them in the face with it. If I am feeling you tell you that and all. But that brutal honesty and truth are too much for them. Intensity and knowing what you want, while expressing it.  Causes the fright and flight tendencies.

Even with BDSM. The things I have seen and experienced this year got me to seriously considering and thinking. The want for poly family. Having a sub/slave and all. In a supposedly more open lifestyle it is harder to find one suitable to start a relationship with. The only thing that is prevalent is the attitude of "just come play with me." So, I will just entertain that until I get bored with them being nothing. I looked forward to growing and establishing something of meaning....a relationship. Looking at the messy people and their so called relationships. Maybe this is the ultimate mission impossible situation. Full of facades, lies and unnecessary things.

I am captain caveman. A modern day chauvinist in this day and age.  I lay it on the table if you are in my circle and you have all of me. Outside of my circle you will see and hear the tumbleweeds. So when I say just be yourself. Then that is what I mean. No need to fight for something that the other parts of the equation don't want to keep. Spouting words out of their mouth. While saying and showing nothing.

So looking back on 2014. I see two constants. Ru Ru and Munchkin for the year. HQ for allstar. It is what it is!

Messages heard.
Lessons learned
Assimilation occurred

Just have to sum up 2015 in the hook of Redman and Meth.....*Whatever Man!!!!