Life Unscripted: Death and Alignment

 What a year! Already in the second month and all I can do is shake my head and be thankful that my loved ones didn't have to suffer permanently if I had died.

All the things that I have lived through, came back from, avoided and survived continues to grow. Auntie said I still have things to do and that is why I am still here. I have heard that a number of times over my life.

I do not have a fear of dying or death. Those things I have accepted. My fear and concern are for those that care about and love me. Them having to deal with something happening to me. Their stress, anguish, pain and despair. And this last month definitely shed light on all of that fully. To hear, see and feel it all in their voice, video and communication is heart wrenching.

I am thankful for the support, love, concern and Everything that happened during this. Even the surprised communication. 

This brought about alignment and re-alignment.  The girls banded together through this crisis and got things done. Proud of them doing that together. And I became re-aligned. Back to before 2014 and 2007. Foundations renewed.

With a thankful heart and soul I give my appreciation and thanks.

much luv

Life Unscripted: The Danger Zone

 

Welcome to 2021. 

i normally do a end of year wrap up but that went to hell in a hand basket since I had to about die for the second time in 2020.  Had to have them call the ambulance for me on the 30th. So not only had to cancel the Memphis trip but also a hospital adventure. Not a fan of how this went down but things happened because I am not what I use to be. 

This definitely showed a spotlight on the emergency broadcast had to be fixed and vamped since I didn't have my phone. The girls definitely were in a panic understandably. So better preparation had to be made. 

2020 brought me back to traveling a lot. Trips to sunshine and Ru. Getting that work in as well. Adventures in Htown definitely increased.  The girls have been going through it. I offered as much support, guidance and listening as I could with all that has jumped the hell off. But damn we went through it in our lives. 

Hard to believe the last event that we were physically at was SPLF almost a year ago now when alll this corona shit started ramping up. From then on everything was virtual. Missed the hell out of our CTX events in person. I did hit killeen for Spanksgiving to just be in the area and see some folk there even though it was online. That energy and journey watching is missed big time.

Reflection:

Apocalypse

Big Evil

The OG style

Had to roll things back. To what it was before the soft era began. Especially with the new nazi party coming into effect on the 20th. Just staying strapped and ready to clap.

Streamlined this walk of mine. Riders are going to ride or be left on the wayside. Not, going to continue to give out the nicities when there is no need. Especially when they can't communicate or are too soft to ride with me. 

The whole idea that folks can handle me being me is laughable. Repeatedly shown that this is not a skill of theirs. They still say and think they can handle it as they run and cry about being sensitive.  I understand that they think they can but reality repeatedly shows otherwise. It definitely makes me miss those days when I was accepted for being me and could be myself fully without someone having an issue or meltdown. 

Forward Into the Darkness:

As I walk into the unknown now I have strengthened my resolve. Love, passion and vibrancy live. Just in a very different way. Taken to the extremes and left to only be.

Lifestyles, the House, my girl. Life Unscripted has exploded even more than I thought possible.

The tears and fires still burn me. The memories that still hold me and make me move forward.

In Darkness I Silently Walk

 Deep sighs.

parental unit still fighting going to the doctor and everything.  Getting worst. I guess he is trying to die. Is what it is. I will just handle business as usual and do what needs to be done in the blackness.

Dealing with the clusterfuck of the new nazi party taking office next month. Job affected as well as everything else.. I  have no fucks  to give about the monkey bitches biden, harris, trump, pence and all politicians. As far as I am concerned they can all sit in the sun as it supernovas. Them and the past ones are all worthless.  And the ignorant people screaming democrat, repub anti trump shit instead of looking at the real problem. They all need to go!

This year really emphasized why I walk alone through this plane. Looking at the last 9 years and understanding the barometer level over this time. people can only do what they are capable of. Some couldn't cut it and others have been able to achieve to the highest level they can attain.

Hitting the War Room now for a bunch of drastic changes. 

And finished book six in the Nate Temple series on our ride back from asheville.  I didn't know if I was going to like it when I started but I have enjoyed it and little one has also.

In the mood to destroy pussy, mouth and ass in Beast Mode moment. 

As the last Titan. I am going to keep killing the hordes and moving until it's time for me. 

Wishing you a happy holiday or whatever you want to call it. 

My Compartmentalization: your Savior

 

My Compatmentalization: your Savior

as you scratch your head

thinking in the negative

it is for your safety

to protect your

sensitivities

feelings

interpretations

it is ok

I understand that you don’t know

your inability

to handle Me

at My most

directness

continue to play

all those scenarios

excuses

in your heart and head

when you are ready to step

into strength and reality

then you will understand

until then

I will just continue to

pat you on the head

bless your little heart

compartmentalization

your ally and friend

from the chocolatezeus collection 12/13/20

Poetry: So you Want to Know FlipMode

 

So you Want to Know FlipMode

anomoly

displaced your thoughts and actions

I am that catalyst

run a gangbang

control the pretty bitch

you want to fuck

destroying your inflated ego

smacking ass

keeping the pussy wet

as the ones that are scared

want to know for themselves

what the real deal is

a quet Beast Mode

controlling their magnetism

desires like

Magneto

from a super model

to the hottest bitch

that you want to know

under that flow

flogging

beating

fucking pussy and mouth

till their souls go

still a mystery

for they are too

sensitive and scared to

truly know

break your

mind, body and soul

that’s this

mode

just won’t conform

to what you want and desire

for me to be

no, no, no

just continue

thinking and listening to

the ass claps

slurps and sucks

and the cum

comes back to back

now you have a taste

of the mode that I

am

from the chocolatezeus collection 12/13/20 (c)

A Caveman Pre Terrordome

The weather has been nice this weekend. Wish circumstances would have allowed for Me to be elsewhere enjoying things. But life is what it is now. We have been imprisoned this year and the dumb ass they voted in as governor now thinks we are supposed to follow a fucking curfew. More stupidity.

Found out that the parental unit and sister didn't actually get a damn appointment for him. Wtf! So have to black ops this as well. 

Hard to believe my  Auntie is 79. The last family that I have. Sobering for sure. 

Being annoyed with humans is definitely at an all time high now. The mask shit. The hysteria and fear mongering going on. It only grows each minute it seems. The results attained that big pharma, business and the governments wanted. 

Evaluation and analysis revealed just how much of an issue it is for many to accept and understand the strength in being themselves emotionally, physically, mentally and spiritually.  So much fear running rampant and only growing each day. Scared of love and emotions. Scared to step out of their fucked up comfort zones. Scared to explore and live.

Looking at where I have come from and how things have evolved has been humbling.  From understanding dynamic, relationship and needs more to realizing what I did wrong.  My inability to fully allow true assessment without My personal traits were missed a number of times. Helping distort and create falsely the formula of what I needed. Now rectified and worked on. Very unbiased analysis now the only application to use. If they are damaged and unable to evolve then so be it. If they choose to evolve then support. Still punch them in the mouth immediately with my position, feeling and all but let them do whatever it is that they are going to do and keep moving. 

I am in need of some Beast Mode fuckfest type of release. Wearing out pussy, throat and ass until I am beyond satisfied including plenty of sadistic play, objectification, humiliation and degradation.  Fuck! Kraken full release. Memories past, current and future type of fucking.

Almost time to end this year and deal with the continued clusterfuck. Yayyyy!!

Keep moving forward, living, loving and being yourself. Even when you are scared of yourself and everyone else tells you otherwise.

Living Poetry...Black Man: Welcome to the Terrordome

 

Black Man: Welcome to the Terrordome

hunted

haunted

by extraneous applications

apparitions of enemies

long gone

past

present

future

He remains

Public Enemy Number One

church going

employment maintaining

law abiding citizen

still gets the benefits of

shot and killed

fitting the description

unlawful accusation and incarceration

as you tell us

the next fad and cliché

that the dream can be attained

but wait

we are doing the correct things

backbones, pillars and lights

in society

still having to be wary of

each traffic stop

entering your home

going for a jog

It was just so much easier for them

when they just saw us

killing and robbing

for chicken sandwiches, trinkets and bobbles

they could openly continue to scream

see there

see what I mean

how they act

in order to administer

open hatred dipped in

orchestrated alleged equalities

their fear no longer remains

it now screams

black men

are no longer the enemy

but the end of their living

the cataclysm they fear

is already here

it is

We

from the chocolatezeus collection 12/9/20 (c)

Poetic Moment: With the Tip of My Chapeau

 

A Tip of my Chapeau

it is ok

I understand the fear

intrepedation

due to your past

stuck in concrete

mental, emotional, spiritual

imprisonment

from chino to kokomo

your demographic is

represented

no worries

you csn keep

maintain the cold

of that heart and soul

no consent violation

to your choice in actions

ability to maintain

your representative

keep on doing that

safety dance

so your defenses can last

be the best of the less

queen of the mess

hats off in respect

salute to strength in

sensitive deflections

amid the yells and screams of

relevance

silence of the lamb style

development

I give this slow clap

as I tip my cap

may your be

all that you have chosen

semi internally

from the chocolatezeus collection 12/9/20 (c)

A Travel Through Life, Living and History

 Back from Htown. The trip was very emotional, filling and edifying. 

It was and still sometimes is rough with the memories of pebbles. Being the house when she was supposed to be there hit hard at times. Was supposed to let her serve as she loved. Good hearted, caring and loving. I am honored to have watched and been a part of her journey. Will definitely have our memories.

Had a chance to spend more time than usual with sunshine. Memorial for pebbles. Black restaurant eating.  Time spent enjoying and being. A time to bond and grow.

Finally had a chance to get up and hang out with the cigar utopia group. Nice spot they were trying out. Met folks, drank, smoked cigars and chilled.

It has been heartbreaking to see and know how much my Ru is going through with pebbles death and the actions of pebble's worthless ass relatives. She was hurt and hurting. All I could do was be as supportive as possible..And the loss she has dealt with from family and friends these months.

i flew back to the qc and had a chance to attend the Leather, Love and Legacy of Black women event on zoom. It was definitely eductional and informative. I took some stuff away from that and learned some history. 

D/s, M/s and Dating

 My track record and noted position on dating has been well expressed. But with time, experience and reflection evolution has occurred. Well, somewhat. lol

I have and do date in and out of dynamics and vanilla. It has given me a number of different perspectives. 

When I dated Chocolate Doll it was based on attraction, connection and interests. Which is the way thtat things work best for me I found out. Brass tacks as the old skools would say.

Since then I have made the mistake of being too caring and loving to those that weren't interested in or able to understand, act or be that way. So, ended up overwhelming them and them using the word needy Instead of understanding that they just wanted to be dominated and have a relation on an interested sliding scale. I had no problem with that way. I was just too focused on what I saw as giving my full investment in who I was with. My fault then. Lesson learned after the fact. Instead I gave them Me fully.

Now, I merely see them for who, what and how they are and let them be. From the ones I have tried to date in the last few years to dating sunshine. I am grateful for the learning process because it allowed dating sunshine to work out and be ready. 

Dating in a dynamic comes with many different factors depending on if they are an stype or a vanilla. Being able to support, feed and be with them is an in motion adventure. Making sure not to detract from them being an stype or the uniqueness of their submission is a wonderous mindfield to navigate. This is part of sharpening and strengthening iron though and it is good.

Add poly to things and now there is more avenues to think about, handle and navigate. Depending on their position, thoughts and feelings on how they do their poly is what has to be addressed. The only thing that I don't do is poly with another Dominant with them. Otherwise I want them to be happy and fulfilled in their life. But there is also the issues of whoever else they date having their own issues and causing problems. I realized that the first time it was impromptu tried with me. I can't console, support someone that is hurt and or has chosen to continue to be hurt and dissapointed I found out personally. 

I have never been the one to chase a female or woman. That seems like a need to maintain their ego more than anything else. Just like I am not forcing anyone to be submissive, I am not coercing anyone to want to date or have a relationship. I know first hand that there are those that need to feel like they are made to be submissive or be in a relatioship. But these things are just not for me. There is no need to repeat watching someone I love cry and feel down because of they are not being controlled how they want by whom they want.

Dating is a wonderful thing when there is a connection that those involved have and can work on without issues, ego and defamation. 

A slight discussion about dating. What are your thoughts?

Loss of pebbles, Spanksgiving and Preparation for the next nazi party to be in office

 Life has hit hard this year. Even more towards this end. The loss of Sir Strange and then pebbles definitely has created emotional rifts internally.

As I sit here in the house remembering the interactions and times with pebbles here. Seeing how hard it hit my Ru to find her dead and the fake relatives drama has had me worried about her. Heart broken. I had just talked to pebbles the day before because she wanted to be of service while I was in texas. 

It is hard to know that I watched pebbles start her journey and culminate it to the point of having her Sir and being the slave that was. From supporting her in going to her first event with CTX while I couldn't go. To helping her with her service skills, ideas and her preparation to do her petition for her Sir. I am honored to have witnessed and been a part of her journey. Gone too soon. Just wen she had moved past so many things. Damn!

Spanksgiving 2020

Once again virtual but the classes were awesome as usual. And that is where I centered myself as I missed the in person energy and experience. Deep reflection and introspection about making sure to maintain D/s and M/s even when the property is going through things. Sympathy the destroyer of the power exchange.  Erotic barbering. Purposeful use of music in scening. Just a plethora of so many good things. And the cigar social was powerful, history and great camaraderie. 

So memories from the last one. sunshine and I scening. The girls doing the damn thing. 

Houston you got a Caveman problem

I have been here for a couple weeks and it has been an adventure in surviving the driving experience. lol Whew I see why people need anxiety meds. Finally had a chance to get up with the cigar utopia group. Met two young girls one night asking which way tyler, tx was. Only to have someone tell them it was 190 miles away with their intent to walk there. sheesh

Almost time for the two new horrible nazis to be in the white house

Time to prepare for the complete fallout because of these next two monkeys. Probably will lose contracts aka no work for me.  Everyone is already running around acting crazy and the two monkeys have not been even sworn in yet. 

Not sure why people think these two monkeys give a damn about anyone but themselves. This coup that is coming between them is going to be interesting. until people stop believing in this bullshit system and enforce  new one then shit will remain the same. 

The Rundown

parental unit is in kidney failure and has been for months come to find out. va doesn't have an appointment slot until next year they claim. So, I will have to fix that when I return.

I am tired, worn out, stressed out and more from everything. But at least I am designed to handle these things. Snake eaters unite!

Thankful and concerned about the girls

• little one
• babycakes
• sunshine
• miko

Concerned and worried about those that I care about as well.

Well, it is time to finish checking the meats for tomorrow now.

I bid you adieu 

Ballantyne, Nutella and What the Hella

 The year seems to have flown by. Even with all the mess it still has been a unique ride. 

One week to the end of this election bullshit. sheeple can stop assaulting people for not thinking, voting their way finally. one of the two nazi party teams will win next week. Either way nothing will change and shit will continue to get deep.

This is the time of year I would be getting ready to head to Spanksgiving. It is virtual this year due to the corona people. But there will be some surprises at least for this one. Hopefully the rich will stop this ignorance so we can live a life again.

The anniversary with little one was nice. We definitely changed up Ballantyne. The bbq spot was nice. I still don't know what the deal is with them  rich people and damn nutella everywhere we went other than the bbq spot. I had a good time conversing with the old guys that were there at the hotel selling lps and cds. So, again it was brought up that somehow white folks like me. smh It is still shocking that it has been 5 years with little one at this point. Who would have known. But here we are.

The parental unit is getting worst and worst. He seems to have given up on living since he refuses to do much or take care of himself at all. So dealing with that and preparing to do the behind the scenes responsibilities as usual. 

Almost time to end the year with those I love. So I will be seeing Ru, sunshine, little one, babycakes, miko and leave the year on memories. So a few more flights and trips and 2020 will be done. And I am still upset that can't see the gingerbread competition at the grove this year because of the corona people.

Time to get ready for another anniversary. Till the next time nanu nanu!!

Poetic Moment: Loving you: The Impossble

 Loving you: The Impossible Mission

My heart

My love

Given to you since day one

Lost in your dark chocolate

Happily

Wanton and craving

That love

Those feelings

The downfall

I never saw

Your issues fully

The disdain for

Love

Relationship

Connected

Saw the possibilities

The epic future we wuld be

Heart

Arms open wide

Ready and inviting

For us to be forever

I lost a fight that I never knew I was fighting

Stood by her side until she chose to 

fly instead of fight with Me

Like Monifah sang

I know you had to leave Me

It’s Alright

Came to terms

A painful decision

Heart and soul dead inside

Loving you so 

Fully

Deeply

Now having to be

Compartmentalized

Decision you made respected

No contact

Nothing left

A unique ride

Failed mission?

No

Just a Mission Impossible

Realized ride

from the chocolatezeus collectiion  10/16/20  (c)