It has been a minute since I posted with everything going on. Back to back to overflowing back. But let us dive into it shall we.
Was supposed to go to a 3 day swing party the past weekend. A reunion for the nc group I was active in back in the day. There was not going to be anyone there I was interested in or wanted to fuck but I felt I should go and spread my evil. lol Just wanted to go watch, drink, eat and be entertained. For whatever reason it was cancelled for oh well.
Between the swinging thing and everything that has been going on with people that I am close to and know. Just like with swinging things and my association with people have changed drastically. There were those that I was close to and could trust and now they are no longer there. Relations, relationships, love and caring have died or been removed from the equation.
I am always the one that is there or others or attempting to be there. Even when they think, feel or I am not there in the exact way that they want to tell me to be. I have been told that I don't ask for help or support like I should and that is probably the case. The few times I do ask I try not to ask for much. But I have learned to stick to just me, myself and I.
Giving of myself has been revoked a whole lot in the last year. Pretty much it is dwindled down to one person long term, one person medium term and one new person. The pool use to be bigger but due to people's choices that was fixed. I have a big heart and will walk through hell within hell with those I let into my circles. But when you violate and choose to not be there then I will be on the opposite end of the curve.
There is a lot more of this stuff to say but enough of that...
In BDSM the look at growth has really been expounded. From the way that I vet, consider and choose potential submissives and slaves to the rules, protocols and unconditional things that are required to be in a dynamic or in that fact even a relation with me. I learned thoroughly and heavily from my dealings with red and little one super especially. And it has made for a better iron clad, working life. Learned not to make the same mistakes or accept things like I did previously.
New toys on deck. And boy they make me happy. It has gotten to the point the old toy bag is very inadequate now. And especially when the latest piece is finished in time for next month. And I am looking forward to this flogging circle experience coming up. This will definitely be unique.
The parental unit and his daughter continue to be more pieces of work.
The battles and war continue. As there is no end in sight just yet. But tis what I have to do to get to the other side.
Next up is the anniversary. Then trip out of country for some relaxation. It is way overdue.
Time to unpack and get things together before the parental unit showed up
Monday, October 01, 2018
Wednesday, September 19, 2018
My Yin and Yang of Dominance and Relations
So there have been a number of discussions lately. From just about everywhere and different people. And I am not the norm so of course my way and existence tends to almost always throw everyone else off or into their feministic morality clause mode.
Much of the discussions were about what has been learned, adopted, changed and remained the same. And there have been a whole lot of changes since the beginning as well as compartmentalization.
Me Being a Dominant
Well, let's define this a little bit. I am a hetero, hierarchial, male lead household, with female submissives, those that are dated and other classes as those lower on the pyramid of hierarchy. Everything is consensual. So if they don't want to be a submissive, serve, date or anything then *exit stage left*
Pretty much the same as dating with a lot more structure and focus of role. There is a more vanillaesque interpretation to this part.
My first dynamic started from dating. Because it seemed like the best of all things and what I wanted. it ended up being a road travelled that was full of things I had no clue about or was fully prepared for. i dove in fully and ended up learning how to be on the swim and scuba team at the same time. The hard way. It didn't work out the way it was supposed to. But ok then.
Out of the next dynamics I got one lasting one and one that showed me the error of not being more precise and sticking to specifics.
The future one is moving along well since I have learned so much from these years already.
I have become more and more compartmentalized and rigid in my choices. I realized that even though I can see capabilities, potential and etc does not mean that they can see it or are capable of it. I now take their pasts, damage and experiences a lot more into consideration when interested, speaking to or considering.
I require very specific submissive and slaves. They have to be willing and able to serve, submit and maintain this throughout the dynamic.
There will never be consideration for someone that has another dominant at this time in my life. They need to be able to focus and serve properly.
Any disconnect when it comes to vision and goals will warrant a no thank you.
Communication is non negotiable. Even when they are in their feelings and upset.
Either you are all in or all out.
To be a whole lot more strict on the candidates. Who, how and what they are along with what they are bringing to the table.
Make sure that it is all laid out on the table in whatever way they understand right in the beginning.
Make sure they understand completely what their role is and where things are going
Communicate, communicate, communicate.
Make sure they understand.
Listen.
Do not be lenient abut requirements, needs and etc.
Make sure they are committed to me and the goals that have been set.
There has been a lot of talks and talking. But I figured I would condense it down to this. But discussion is always available and open.
The learning continues
Much of the discussions were about what has been learned, adopted, changed and remained the same. And there have been a whole lot of changes since the beginning as well as compartmentalization.
Me Being a Dominant
Well, let's define this a little bit. I am a hetero, hierarchial, male lead household, with female submissives, those that are dated and other classes as those lower on the pyramid of hierarchy. Everything is consensual. So if they don't want to be a submissive, serve, date or anything then *exit stage left*
Me in a relation or Dating:
Pretty much the same as dating with a lot more structure and focus of role. There is a more vanillaesque interpretation to this part.
D/s, M/s and Bdsm:
My first dynamic started from dating. Because it seemed like the best of all things and what I wanted. it ended up being a road travelled that was full of things I had no clue about or was fully prepared for. i dove in fully and ended up learning how to be on the swim and scuba team at the same time. The hard way. It didn't work out the way it was supposed to. But ok then.
Out of the next dynamics I got one lasting one and one that showed me the error of not being more precise and sticking to specifics.
The future one is moving along well since I have learned so much from these years already.
Relations and Dating:
I have become more and more compartmentalized and rigid in my choices. I realized that even though I can see capabilities, potential and etc does not mean that they can see it or are capable of it. I now take their pasts, damage and experiences a lot more into consideration when interested, speaking to or considering.
What have I learned in Bdsm Dynamics?
I require very specific submissive and slaves. They have to be willing and able to serve, submit and maintain this throughout the dynamic.
There will never be consideration for someone that has another dominant at this time in my life. They need to be able to focus and serve properly.
Any disconnect when it comes to vision and goals will warrant a no thank you.
Communication is non negotiable. Even when they are in their feelings and upset.
Either you are all in or all out.
What have I learned in dating and relations?
To be a whole lot more strict on the candidates. Who, how and what they are along with what they are bringing to the table.
Make sure that it is all laid out on the table in whatever way they understand right in the beginning.
Make sure they understand completely what their role is and where things are going
Overall:
Communicate, communicate, communicate.
Make sure they understand.
Listen.
Do not be lenient abut requirements, needs and etc.
Make sure they are committed to me and the goals that have been set.
There has been a lot of talks and talking. But I figured I would condense it down to this. But discussion is always available and open.
The learning continues
Sunday, September 02, 2018
New Journeys: Walking Alone and Carrying a Big Stick
It's been a while. Sorry I left without a beat to step to...
There has so much that has been going on definitely. From the run to ny because of the parental unit focused on this shit with his worthless ass brothers estate. A run to atlanta. Even got an anime convention in there lol. I said no to going back to ny this last week though. I have no time for that bullshit anymore.
There have been firsts, adventures and all with babycakes and little one. The learning and growth continues. Planning for the House of Havoc continue to be in full swing and being implemented. It takes a lot to get things planned out, scheduled and done with us. red is doing her thing.
My wife's birthday passed last month and our 10 year wedding anniversary is coming up in a couple of months. It has definitely made me realize I miss her and the rare type of woman that she was. It reminded me that I walk alone now.
People ask how can you be alone in a crowd or in a relation? It is really simple. The type of individual or individuals you around can still allow you to be completely alone and disconnected. I disconnect normally but I have been overdrive in the last little over a year now. I have lessened the buffer of my tolerance, expectation and application.
I also had to laugh and be contemplative of how I am seen and everything in the community now. babycakes and little one were talking about people interested in me. I just laugh at them and tell them they are blind. But when we had the conversation about people in the community taking notice I had to ponder that for a moment. I haven't paid attention to much of the community in response to myself. it was pointed out respect and people looking. I am like ok. But hell I had to blink when I asked to do something or brought up when I am nowhere around in a positive manner. Humbled I had to recognize it.
So many things that I want and need to do. But I have the Cabin trip, Bahamas and Spanksgiving coming up and then going to finally make it to a leather conference and Master slave events.
Some more thoughts on collaring and the collarling ceremony have to be sorted through and decided.
Moves,movement and altering of everything is slowly coming online. And next year the House will be moving at light speed into the future. Damn. I can't wait!
There has so much that has been going on definitely. From the run to ny because of the parental unit focused on this shit with his worthless ass brothers estate. A run to atlanta. Even got an anime convention in there lol. I said no to going back to ny this last week though. I have no time for that bullshit anymore.
There have been firsts, adventures and all with babycakes and little one. The learning and growth continues. Planning for the House of Havoc continue to be in full swing and being implemented. It takes a lot to get things planned out, scheduled and done with us. red is doing her thing.
My wife's birthday passed last month and our 10 year wedding anniversary is coming up in a couple of months. It has definitely made me realize I miss her and the rare type of woman that she was. It reminded me that I walk alone now.
People ask how can you be alone in a crowd or in a relation? It is really simple. The type of individual or individuals you around can still allow you to be completely alone and disconnected. I disconnect normally but I have been overdrive in the last little over a year now. I have lessened the buffer of my tolerance, expectation and application.
I also had to laugh and be contemplative of how I am seen and everything in the community now. babycakes and little one were talking about people interested in me. I just laugh at them and tell them they are blind. But when we had the conversation about people in the community taking notice I had to ponder that for a moment. I haven't paid attention to much of the community in response to myself. it was pointed out respect and people looking. I am like ok. But hell I had to blink when I asked to do something or brought up when I am nowhere around in a positive manner. Humbled I had to recognize it.
So many things that I want and need to do. But I have the Cabin trip, Bahamas and Spanksgiving coming up and then going to finally make it to a leather conference and Master slave events.
Some more thoughts on collaring and the collarling ceremony have to be sorted through and decided.
Moves,movement and altering of everything is slowly coming online. And next year the House will be moving at light speed into the future. Damn. I can't wait!
Thursday, August 09, 2018
Fuck you, you and you and you *rant*
So yeah I am done with the parental unit and helping with shit. Fuck the dead ass, worthless brother and the other equally worthless brother.
When you are told and shown that your importance is negligible by those that you are supposed to be connected to, family, girlfriend, s type or whatever then you have to act accordingly.
human expect you to wait for and on them to do whatever. As well as only on their schedule and their way.
I am normally helpful. I normally do my duty and job but it is all good. I am just going to do what I am...Evil
I will make sure all get what they ask for and are looking for...fully
Much appreciated.
When you are told and shown that your importance is negligible by those that you are supposed to be connected to, family, girlfriend, s type or whatever then you have to act accordingly.
human expect you to wait for and on them to do whatever. As well as only on their schedule and their way.
I am normally helpful. I normally do my duty and job but it is all good. I am just going to do what I am...Evil
I will make sure all get what they ask for and are looking for...fully
Much appreciated.
Your choice of support and a Blast from the Past
So the trip to brooklyn trip was like running a gauntlet through hell while being behind at all times. 48 hours of dealing with the parental unit, his attitude, him thinking that he know it all and trying to tell someone what to do all the time.
From dealing with the courthouse there and their chaos and not know what they are doing. To having to park at the sister hotel 4 blocks away because of them working on their parking deck.
Thankfully the apartment had aired out a bit because they had left the windows open. The place was a mess but that is probably because everyone has been coming in and whatever they already stole.
So from Sunday at 830am to returning on Tuesday at 5am it was pure hell. I drove most of the way there and back. Thankfully not all. Didn't really eat anything until like Monday night.
So all this and still have to find this boys ex wife and if he had kids or not. Total mess.
I posted that I was smelling piss and shit on one of the Facebook pages and people saw it. And A chick I fucked and semi dated also saw it. Hit me up thinking I was still in ny. But we didn't have a falling out or anything. So she was trying to get together but I was already gone. Will have to get together again. At least she knows that I am not a people person unlike others. lol I was like damn, and you and I haven't even seen each other in well over a decade.
But if I care, love or let you into anything with me then you know I am supporting and there for you.
But what I won't do is be around if you want to endanger yourself and everything. you are grown and make your own decisions so enjoy that.
If you don't want to be involved or interact then it is all good. I will sit back and not give a fuck. If you speak I will talk if I am in the mood or ignore you. But there will be nothing there at all. even if we were together, we dated or whatever else.
I am not carrying dead weight and drama contained individuals anymore.
No longer will I stand in the way for individuals to make their decisions, enjoy their distance, separation, drama and all. I will merely step across the street and watch the show they bring while yelling back at them if they try to communicate with me across the street
From dealing with the courthouse there and their chaos and not know what they are doing. To having to park at the sister hotel 4 blocks away because of them working on their parking deck.
Thankfully the apartment had aired out a bit because they had left the windows open. The place was a mess but that is probably because everyone has been coming in and whatever they already stole.
So from Sunday at 830am to returning on Tuesday at 5am it was pure hell. I drove most of the way there and back. Thankfully not all. Didn't really eat anything until like Monday night.
So all this and still have to find this boys ex wife and if he had kids or not. Total mess.
I posted that I was smelling piss and shit on one of the Facebook pages and people saw it. And A chick I fucked and semi dated also saw it. Hit me up thinking I was still in ny. But we didn't have a falling out or anything. So she was trying to get together but I was already gone. Will have to get together again. At least she knows that I am not a people person unlike others. lol I was like damn, and you and I haven't even seen each other in well over a decade.
But if I care, love or let you into anything with me then you know I am supporting and there for you.
But what I won't do is be around if you want to endanger yourself and everything. you are grown and make your own decisions so enjoy that.
If you don't want to be involved or interact then it is all good. I will sit back and not give a fuck. If you speak I will talk if I am in the mood or ignore you. But there will be nothing there at all. even if we were together, we dated or whatever else.
I am not carrying dead weight and drama contained individuals anymore.
No longer will I stand in the way for individuals to make their decisions, enjoy their distance, separation, drama and all. I will merely step across the street and watch the show they bring while yelling back at them if they try to communicate with me across the street
Monday, August 06, 2018
Not even my slave, but such an impact today
Today I got a call from a slave that I am friends with. We have never met. just spoke to each other on video chat, the phone and messages and text. I could feel that something was wrong. That energy of pain and despair resonated.
I was stunned and shocked when she told me a monkey bitch female had molested, burned with cigarettes and starved her grandson and more until he died. It hurt deeply. A child I never knew or will ever know. A grandmother who I have only communicated with all this time and never seen. The tears were there below the surface as i tried to hold them into place. I couldn't let go in the care with the parental unit and the sister on the way up here to new york. But the outrage is here and it is deep.
This also made me consider some D/s issue that I have to address this year. About connection, desire, need, submission and service. I have let things slide a lot because of previous emotional attachment. It is not appropriate to the House or the submissives and slaves. If there is no desire for submission, or even being connected or anything then what is there? After questions, thoughts and discussion it is time to come to terms and address things this year. A hard part.
Being a Dominant. Even an Evil Caveman such as myself there are people and moments where things strike beneath the armor and defenses. It is why I have loved those that I have had under me as well as those I have currently. It is the difference between you being a Picasso on my wall to being someone and something I barely remember. I will support, love, protect you ferociously with all I have and more. But when there is no activity or interest coming back to me I give the head nod and file it into the archives..
How can you say you are comfortable submitting and being a slave but all these stipulations and actions that you have make sure there is no connection and nothing works? It is a question that I asked and haven't gotten a real response to yet.
Regardless it feels good that there are those that are comfortable and want to confide, be supported, helped and everything by me. It is not an ego thing It is a matter of duty for me. And it is something that has gone on since the beginning of my planetfall. Even with those I don't know it is the case. So it truly baffled me when there were those that can't do those things with me regardless of what they have said about what they feel towards me. And it was a serious quandary for a long time. And then I just stepped back and realized they just can't, won't and don't want any of that with me. So make my decisions based off of that and move forward.
As my prayers go out to my friend, her daughter and the rest of her grandchildren. I am seriously in thought and coming to terms with some things that I have not addressed in the last year concerning dating, relation, relationship and D/s.
I was stunned and shocked when she told me a monkey bitch female had molested, burned with cigarettes and starved her grandson and more until he died. It hurt deeply. A child I never knew or will ever know. A grandmother who I have only communicated with all this time and never seen. The tears were there below the surface as i tried to hold them into place. I couldn't let go in the care with the parental unit and the sister on the way up here to new york. But the outrage is here and it is deep.
This also made me consider some D/s issue that I have to address this year. About connection, desire, need, submission and service. I have let things slide a lot because of previous emotional attachment. It is not appropriate to the House or the submissives and slaves. If there is no desire for submission, or even being connected or anything then what is there? After questions, thoughts and discussion it is time to come to terms and address things this year. A hard part.
Being a Dominant. Even an Evil Caveman such as myself there are people and moments where things strike beneath the armor and defenses. It is why I have loved those that I have had under me as well as those I have currently. It is the difference between you being a Picasso on my wall to being someone and something I barely remember. I will support, love, protect you ferociously with all I have and more. But when there is no activity or interest coming back to me I give the head nod and file it into the archives..
How can you say you are comfortable submitting and being a slave but all these stipulations and actions that you have make sure there is no connection and nothing works? It is a question that I asked and haven't gotten a real response to yet.
Regardless it feels good that there are those that are comfortable and want to confide, be supported, helped and everything by me. It is not an ego thing It is a matter of duty for me. And it is something that has gone on since the beginning of my planetfall. Even with those I don't know it is the case. So it truly baffled me when there were those that can't do those things with me regardless of what they have said about what they feel towards me. And it was a serious quandary for a long time. And then I just stepped back and realized they just can't, won't and don't want any of that with me. So make my decisions based off of that and move forward.
As my prayers go out to my friend, her daughter and the rest of her grandchildren. I am seriously in thought and coming to terms with some things that I have not addressed in the last year concerning dating, relation, relationship and D/s.
Friday, August 03, 2018
Relative Poetry: Emergence
Emergence
My heart
A dead, cold listless orb
Colder than nitrogen
More dead than three
Supernova’ d stars
Left for dead
Decaying orbit
Within the soul
A sacrifice upon my
Own essence
No warning
Met with a nova bomb
Wait what is that
warmth I feel?
What is the beating
of my dead heart?
How dare you give
life to death
Take away the solace
of emptiness
From my heart
After fear and shock
I could say thank you
For this spark
At first I was just appalled
Another unwanted
destined fall
Then the light bulb
went off
Reality called
Said it was the real
deal and all
Thank you is all I could
say
As I answered the
call
From the
chocolatezeus collection 8/2/18 ©
Thursday, August 02, 2018
As the Last Grains of the Sands of Time Fall
It has been a serious time over this almost 2 year period now. So many things have happened and changed. And only about 2 or 3 people know what those things are and have seen the costs and all. And I thank little one and babycakes for that. There has been a lot of negative actions as well as positive. But thankfully I have worked hard to not drown from it all and accepted a little of support.
This time has created a new path, more focus and dedication. Through the pain, agitation and disgust I moved on farther and faster .Leaving behind links, feelings, interests and so much more.
House of Havoc will become brick and mortar. So much will be done and is already being worked on. It is exciting as well as foreboding due to more responsibility.
Sadness and loss has been here. From losing relations, relationships as well as things that have happened to the few people i talk to regularly. It reinforced the helplessness of many things in life. Knowing that I am going to lose those that I have loved as well as those that i care about is something that I have to prepare for as much as I can.
I will continue to feel and watch these last grains of sand fall. Continue to be there and with those that I am close to. Moving forward in strength wisdom and power.
Time to get things together for the next trips and adventures.
At least I still have the memories...aye
This time has created a new path, more focus and dedication. Through the pain, agitation and disgust I moved on farther and faster .Leaving behind links, feelings, interests and so much more.
House of Havoc will become brick and mortar. So much will be done and is already being worked on. It is exciting as well as foreboding due to more responsibility.
Sadness and loss has been here. From losing relations, relationships as well as things that have happened to the few people i talk to regularly. It reinforced the helplessness of many things in life. Knowing that I am going to lose those that I have loved as well as those that i care about is something that I have to prepare for as much as I can.
I will continue to feel and watch these last grains of sand fall. Continue to be there and with those that I am close to. Moving forward in strength wisdom and power.
Time to get things together for the next trips and adventures.
At least I still have the memories...aye
Sunday, July 29, 2018
The Stalworth Journey
Through the valleys and the hills. Through the skies and the seas. Into the final frontier of space. That is where my journey has taken me.
The parental unit is getting worse. He is losing it and in turn really causing me to not even choose to help from the shadows since I am the horrible son. This crap with the horrid city of New York showed me why I can't stand the place and will no longer have interest in any female from that garbage ass place.
Wondering what is going on with auntie. She is the last form of family basically that is left for me. The others are just relatives. But that feeling is weighing heavy lately.
My dealings with the humans:
I resented the use of the term Daddy Dominant. Because it really inferred to me one who was basically codling the submissives. red, little one and even the tree hugging monkey bitch kept bringing it up. I ignored it. Until I realized it was said because of the way I was treating them and being protective of them way back then. Now I realize that view they had of me was theirs and not mine. That it was how they related to me regardless. And even that doesn't last for long for some or most anyway. But it is part of the whole. That is why one calls me Daddy and one calls me Papi.
After watching another episode of drama unfold while at an event and afterwards the shields are up at maximum and reinforced by the imperial navy. I don't have time for it. Even when I said to individuals to just stay away from each other and go about your merry way. Hell, I know the deal with those that in their little feelings from whatever the tree hugging monkey bitch told them. Their attitude and feelings are in the huge pile of Not Giving a Fuck listing. But people choose their path and that is why I choose not to associate. Even with the new people that have been interested and considered I check and ask they associations with certain people in atl, ny and all. Because if they are friends with them then I can't trust them. Especially the ones that are friends with red and little one that punk ass will do shit behind someone's back. So, I established the operating area and procedures to address all of this. And it won't change.
Helping, teaching, supporting and community:
After last years fiasco with helping folks and then the attachment, drama and issues that came from that I have been less inclined to help. And my help is very general in it's nature. So I don't have another episode of some jealous s type in their feelings and reneging on pledges of service and so forth.
I have tried a bit this year though. There hasn't been a big ass mess like last year but I am watchful about it. Making sure there is no involvement past the appropriate line and time.
It is strange to think or consider that there are those that will seek knowledge from me. I am not famous or have a long history in these lifestyles. But they have chosen to ask questions, speak and seek me for some advice.
I guess I have gotten soft and shown weakness in my Evil energy lately. Will have to fix that hole.
Otherwise:
Distances keep growing.
Intimacy grows by leaps and bounds.
Understanding has peeled away memories, experiences and feelings.
It feels great when connection, interest, understanding and desire is there.
So much is coming up. And I am looking forward to going to the leather, Master and slave as well as bdsm events. Just have to budget for things with everything that comes up. But there will be more adventures and witnessing more firsts with baby cakes and others.
Almost back to football season so will be enjoying watching fantasy football and eating again soon.
The changes on deck will be something else. Looking forward to them and the completion of people, places and things.
And the other things. you know where to find them at.
*ground control to major tom* Commencing countdown engines on!
The parental unit is getting worse. He is losing it and in turn really causing me to not even choose to help from the shadows since I am the horrible son. This crap with the horrid city of New York showed me why I can't stand the place and will no longer have interest in any female from that garbage ass place.
Wondering what is going on with auntie. She is the last form of family basically that is left for me. The others are just relatives. But that feeling is weighing heavy lately.
My dealings with the humans:
I resented the use of the term Daddy Dominant. Because it really inferred to me one who was basically codling the submissives. red, little one and even the tree hugging monkey bitch kept bringing it up. I ignored it. Until I realized it was said because of the way I was treating them and being protective of them way back then. Now I realize that view they had of me was theirs and not mine. That it was how they related to me regardless. And even that doesn't last for long for some or most anyway. But it is part of the whole. That is why one calls me Daddy and one calls me Papi.
After watching another episode of drama unfold while at an event and afterwards the shields are up at maximum and reinforced by the imperial navy. I don't have time for it. Even when I said to individuals to just stay away from each other and go about your merry way. Hell, I know the deal with those that in their little feelings from whatever the tree hugging monkey bitch told them. Their attitude and feelings are in the huge pile of Not Giving a Fuck listing. But people choose their path and that is why I choose not to associate. Even with the new people that have been interested and considered I check and ask they associations with certain people in atl, ny and all. Because if they are friends with them then I can't trust them. Especially the ones that are friends with red and little one that punk ass will do shit behind someone's back. So, I established the operating area and procedures to address all of this. And it won't change.
Helping, teaching, supporting and community:
After last years fiasco with helping folks and then the attachment, drama and issues that came from that I have been less inclined to help. And my help is very general in it's nature. So I don't have another episode of some jealous s type in their feelings and reneging on pledges of service and so forth.
I have tried a bit this year though. There hasn't been a big ass mess like last year but I am watchful about it. Making sure there is no involvement past the appropriate line and time.
It is strange to think or consider that there are those that will seek knowledge from me. I am not famous or have a long history in these lifestyles. But they have chosen to ask questions, speak and seek me for some advice.
I guess I have gotten soft and shown weakness in my Evil energy lately. Will have to fix that hole.
Otherwise:
Distances keep growing.
Intimacy grows by leaps and bounds.
Understanding has peeled away memories, experiences and feelings.
It feels great when connection, interest, understanding and desire is there.
So much is coming up. And I am looking forward to going to the leather, Master and slave as well as bdsm events. Just have to budget for things with everything that comes up. But there will be more adventures and witnessing more firsts with baby cakes and others.
Almost back to football season so will be enjoying watching fantasy football and eating again soon.
The changes on deck will be something else. Looking forward to them and the completion of people, places and things.
And the other things. you know where to find them at.
*ground control to major tom* Commencing countdown engines on!
Tuesday, July 24, 2018
Here We Are Now...Even More Famous
Dealing with the parental unit is getting harder and harder. The arguments are beyond tiring. And now he thinks he is going to go to one of the worst cities in the world (ny) by himself to go to the court because it is ny and they are unorganized and really fucked up with their stuff up there. Nope.
Had a great time in Texas, Atlanta, Charlotte and Greensboro. The drive to Texas and back was a long 16 hours. Showed me I am not young like I use to be anymore. lol
Being supportive is an aspect of leadership that is not readily talked about. Especially for those types like myself. But I had a chance to do that with 3 ladies going for the first time to a bdsm event. Things turned out well. 2 had their very first scenes and the other enjoyed herself but had to deal with the energy of it all. The pre talk, during conversation and the post conversation to the event was helpful they said. And for those that think Dominants think and act with their dicks that was all that it was. Being there and helpful for them so they could explore themselves, learn and have a good time.
And if you have not been to this gas station called Buc-ees then you need to go. This place is huge and the magical wonderland of gas stations. With so many gas pumps you don't have to wait and the cleanest bathroom ever. And the food was wonderful. I see what everyone was talking about last year. The girls went stuffie frenzy in there. I wanted to bring all the sauces, jambalaya stuffed chicken, candy, fudge, kolaches and all back. lol
I really need to break in the new toys. And I can't wait for the stockade and the two heavy floggers to be finished so I can add to the collection. Definitely have to upgrade to a bigger and stronger toy bag for sure now. But I am happy that is the case. The new paddle was definitely used in such a mind fuck wonderful way. lol
Speaking of mind fucks. It has been crazy since the birthday weekend. Energy play has been discovered and it has gone deep beyond the rabbit hole for them and more. The mere touch to the skin creating avalanche orgasms is so very, very intoxicating. And I have wielded it with delight, glee and sadistic tenacity. But this has to be because of comfort and a level of connection they have established with me at this point in time.
Bring me to: Who I know and associate with?
Thoughts on this subject really never came up with besides not associating with monkey bitches, fake slaves, submissive and dominants. But after a talk with little one and comments from baby cakes and the girls I had to really think.
I know some of the famous folks that are big in the lifestyle. We speak, interact and talk at times. I don't make it a deal that I know them or any of that. And they have mentioned me in comments as well. But I take it as just conversation that regular folks have.
But little one brought up that people see me interacting with them or they say something about me and more are taking notice. I denied it and then she pointed out particulars to me. And also things baby cakes said combined with others I had no choice but to say ok.
It did make me think about who I have, currently and associate in the future. From the involvements with individuals that were pure mistakes, to holding on to things that should have been let go to the great people I have met, gained knowledge and had great time with.
To the future and beyond:
And through out everything lately there has been the opening for lasting change and solidification of the future for Me and My House. And I am glad that it came and showed the reality of connection, desire, passion and commitment.
This stuff made me smile and grin for it brought goal that was removed full circle. It may change some things as was voiced but it is for the betterment.
There is a lot of planning to do now and things to get done. And a celebration and ceremony to prepare for as well.
So as Busta said. MAKE IT CLAP!!
Saturday, July 07, 2018
BRATS and Unforgettable Birthday Adventures
The male parental unit's worthless brother body was found dead on my actual birthday. For once it was something that happened that didn't bother me like the catastrophies that have occured on my birthday previously. I lost some good people on my birthday too.
Friday I hung out with the BRATS. That means those of us there were military dependents and when to school overseas. There were a lot of them there and mostly black folks which really is rare. Hell, Id didn't know anything about this until after my weekend plans were made. So I opted just to attend the pool party. They were on cp time but I survived the heat outside near the pool. Met a number of others that had went to frankfurt as well. drank some trash can punch and ate three cups of fruit from it. lol even the apples had turned blue in it. They were all scared of the NOT punch except for the old white guy ron. So I put about 4 cups down before I left to drive back across charlotte to over by uncc. So I talked, laughed and looked at some titties and ass.
I was supposed to meet one of my classmates from frankfurt there but I never heard back from her then or even to this day. Then my ex best friend was wondering why I didnt tell her about it. Hell, she is married and we rarely ever talk. So oh well keep it moving.
The girls and I had a great time the whole weekend. Hanging out, eating and chilling. We did the erotic poetry thing but it kind of sucked. Their bdsm intro to the vanillas was really weak. All three of us said to each other that we should go on stage and put on a real bdsm show tonight. There were only like 4 poets and that was it. The highlights were the big girl that was twerking and doing a lap dance and hit the splits along with the tall chick in the short dress that sat on the stage and was doing orgasm denial with a hitachi planted between her legs. I had to give it to her she was holding on to wait for the command to cum. lmao
So combine all of that with eating ribs, brisket and breakfast stuff along with pool adventure. *mermaids and waves* baby, baby!
So it was unforgettable. And I was thankful for the girls caring enough about me to share it with me and want to spend time with me on this.
exceptional!
Must be monkey bitch weekend
I see the monkey bitches are coming out this weekend from tree hugging monkey bitch, to weak hearted monkey bitch and this monkey bitch lance jamison or his name on set siromega76.
This monkey bitch boy has been going around violating females and claiming his bitch ass is a fake ass dominant for a long time now. Apparently this monkey bitch didn't like me informing him to not contact me and mine. So he contacts little one again to say tell your fat boy I won't push up on you too hard. This bitch ass don't know no better but he better keep trying to find the inexperienced and females that will fall for that shit.
So between him and seeing the other monkey bitches come out the woodwork this weekend I had to inform and put the psa out there for them. Keep your dumb fucked up asses in Florida, worthless ass nyc, and gboro.
No fucks given at all. And they definitely don't want it over here.
This monkey bitch boy has been going around violating females and claiming his bitch ass is a fake ass dominant for a long time now. Apparently this monkey bitch didn't like me informing him to not contact me and mine. So he contacts little one again to say tell your fat boy I won't push up on you too hard. This bitch ass don't know no better but he better keep trying to find the inexperienced and females that will fall for that shit.
So between him and seeing the other monkey bitches come out the woodwork this weekend I had to inform and put the psa out there for them. Keep your dumb fucked up asses in Florida, worthless ass nyc, and gboro.
No fucks given at all. And they definitely don't want it over here.
Wednesday, June 13, 2018
Torn, Worn and Fatigued
It has been a hot one these last days and weeks basically.
The weekend was rough. The heat and doing everything in the heat. But we got things done and I am glad that I could help. I do try to be helpful with things at times when I can. For mine especially as well as others when I can that are approved.
From the heat of atlanta to the the heat of here in bama and this house so I can see what I can expedite and make happen for him to move and let this place go. After arguing about everything once again I am done once again and ready to head back. So it is what it is.
People have issue when you stand your ground. They need you to do, act, and be like what they think, feel and say. It hurts their little feelings when you wont be just like them and make them feel better about themselves. Since I won't give them what they want or play along I am a huge issue in that. But it is all good.
I helped because I want to and can at times. I don't help everyone because that is not who I am. But when I do then I do! It feels good but it is who I am also.
The countdown is well underway and things are definitely going to be different this celebration. How different I don't know but I do know it will be pleasantly different celebration.
A lot on the mind. Well, a lot more than usual i will say and that is a billion times more than normal folks so there is your reference. lol
Enjoy the heat and have a good one
The weekend was rough. The heat and doing everything in the heat. But we got things done and I am glad that I could help. I do try to be helpful with things at times when I can. For mine especially as well as others when I can that are approved.
From the heat of atlanta to the the heat of here in bama and this house so I can see what I can expedite and make happen for him to move and let this place go. After arguing about everything once again I am done once again and ready to head back. So it is what it is.
People have issue when you stand your ground. They need you to do, act, and be like what they think, feel and say. It hurts their little feelings when you wont be just like them and make them feel better about themselves. Since I won't give them what they want or play along I am a huge issue in that. But it is all good.
I helped because I want to and can at times. I don't help everyone because that is not who I am. But when I do then I do! It feels good but it is who I am also.
The countdown is well underway and things are definitely going to be different this celebration. How different I don't know but I do know it will be pleasantly different celebration.
A lot on the mind. Well, a lot more than usual i will say and that is a billion times more than normal folks so there is your reference. lol
Enjoy the heat and have a good one
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