Relative Poetry: Emergence

Emergence

My heart

 A dead, cold listless orb

Colder than nitrogen

More dead than three

Supernova’ d  stars

Left for dead

Decaying orbit

Within the soul

A sacrifice upon my

Own essence

No warning

Met with a nova bomb

Wait what is that warmth I feel?

What is the beating of my dead heart?

How dare you give life to death

Take away the solace of emptiness

From my heart

After fear and shock

I could say thank you

For this spark

At first I was just appalled

Another unwanted destined fall

Then the light bulb went off

Reality called

Said it was the real deal and all

Thank you is all I could say

As I answered the call

From the chocolatezeus collection  8/2/18  ©

As the Last Grains of the Sands of Time Fall

It has been a serious time over this almost 2 year period now. So many things have happened and changed. And only about 2 or 3 people know what those things are and have seen the costs and all. And I thank little one and babycakes for that. There has been a lot of negative actions as well as positive. But thankfully I have worked hard to not drown from it all and accepted a little of support.

This time has created a new path, more focus and dedication. Through the pain, agitation and disgust I moved on farther and faster .Leaving behind links, feelings, interests and so much more.

House of Havoc will become brick and mortar. So much will be done and is already being worked on. It is exciting as well as foreboding due to more responsibility.

Sadness and loss has been here. From losing relations, relationships as well as things that have happened to the few people i talk to regularly. It reinforced the helplessness of many things in life. Knowing that I am going to lose those that I have loved as well as those that i care about is something that I have to prepare for as much as I can.

I will continue to feel and watch these last grains of sand fall. Continue to be there and with those that I am close to. Moving forward in strength wisdom and power.

Time to get things together for the next trips and adventures.

At least I still have the memories...aye

The Stalworth Journey

Through the valleys and the hills. Through the skies and the seas. Into the final frontier of space. That is where my journey has taken me.

The parental unit is getting worse. He is losing it and in turn really causing me to not even choose to help from the shadows since I am the horrible son. This crap with the horrid city of New York showed me why I can't stand the place and will no longer have interest in any female from that garbage ass place.

Wondering what is going on with auntie. She is the last form of family basically that is left for me. The others are just relatives. But that feeling is weighing heavy lately.

My dealings with the humans:

I resented the use of the term Daddy Dominant. Because it really inferred to me one who was basically codling the submissives. red, little one and even the tree hugging monkey bitch kept bringing it up. I ignored it. Until I realized it was said because of the way I was treating them and being protective of them way back then.  Now I realize that view they had of me was theirs and not mine. That it was how they related to me regardless. And even that doesn't last for long for some or most anyway. But it is part of the whole. That is why one calls me Daddy and one calls me Papi.

After watching another episode of drama unfold while at an event and afterwards the shields are up at maximum and reinforced by the imperial navy. I don't have time for it. Even when I said to individuals to just stay away from each other and go about your merry way. Hell, I know the deal with those that in their little feelings from whatever the tree hugging monkey bitch told them. Their attitude and feelings are in the huge pile of Not Giving a Fuck listing.  But people choose their path and that is why I choose not to associate.  Even with the new people that have been interested and considered I check and ask they associations with certain people in atl, ny and all. Because if they are friends with them then I can't trust them. Especially the ones that are friends with red and little one that punk ass will do shit behind someone's back.  So, I established the operating area and procedures to address all of this. And it won't change.

Helping, teaching, supporting and community:

After last years fiasco with helping folks and then the attachment, drama and issues that came from that I have been less inclined to help. And my help is very general in it's nature. So I don't have another episode of some jealous s type in their feelings and reneging on pledges of service and so forth.

I have tried a bit this year though. There hasn't been a big ass mess like last year but I am watchful about it. Making sure there is no involvement past the appropriate line and time.

It is strange to think or consider that there are those that will seek knowledge from me. I am not famous or have a long history in these lifestyles. But they have chosen to ask questions, speak and seek me for some advice.

I guess I have gotten soft and shown weakness in my Evil energy lately. Will have to fix that hole.


Otherwise:

Distances keep growing.
Intimacy grows by leaps and bounds.
Understanding has peeled away memories, experiences and feelings.
It feels great when connection, interest, understanding and desire is there.


So much is coming up. And I am looking forward to going to the leather, Master and slave as well as bdsm events. Just have to budget for things with everything that comes up. But there will be more adventures and witnessing more firsts with baby cakes and others.

Almost back to football season so will be enjoying watching fantasy football and eating again soon.

The changes on deck will be something else. Looking forward to them and the completion of people, places and things.

And the other things. you know where to find them at.


*ground control to major tom* Commencing countdown engines on!

Here We Are Now...Even More Famous

After a 2 week journey I am back around again. It is has been an adventure since the birthday celebration weekend.

Dealing with the parental unit is getting harder and harder. The arguments are beyond tiring. And now he thinks he is going to go to one of the worst cities in the world (ny) by himself to go to the court because it is ny and they are unorganized and really fucked up with their stuff up there. Nope.

Had a great time in Texas, Atlanta, Charlotte and Greensboro. The drive to Texas and back was a long 16 hours. Showed me I am not young like I use to be anymore. lol

Being supportive is an aspect of leadership that is not readily talked about. Especially for those types like myself. But I had a chance to do that with 3 ladies going for the first time to a bdsm event.  Things turned out well. 2 had their very first scenes and the other enjoyed herself but had to deal with the energy of it all. The pre talk, during conversation and the post conversation to the event was helpful they said. And for those that think Dominants think and act with their dicks that was all that it was. Being there and helpful for them so they could explore themselves, learn and have a good time.

And if you have not been to this gas station called Buc-ees then you need to go. This place is huge and the magical wonderland of gas stations. With so many gas pumps you don't have to wait and the cleanest bathroom ever. And the food was wonderful. I see what everyone was talking about last year. The girls went stuffie frenzy in there. I wanted to bring all the sauces, jambalaya stuffed chicken, candy, fudge, kolaches and all back. lol

I really need to break in the new toys. And I can't wait for the stockade and the two heavy floggers to be finished so I can add to the collection. Definitely have to upgrade to a bigger and stronger toy bag for sure now. But I am happy that is the case. The new paddle was definitely used in such a mind fuck wonderful way. lol

Speaking of mind fucks. It has been crazy since the birthday weekend. Energy play has been discovered and it has gone deep beyond the rabbit hole for them and more. The mere touch to the skin creating avalanche orgasms is so very, very intoxicating. And I have wielded it with delight, glee and sadistic tenacity. But this has to be because of comfort and a level of connection they have established with me at this point in time.

Bring me to: Who I know and associate with?

Thoughts on this subject really never came up with besides not associating with monkey bitches, fake slaves, submissive and dominants. But after a talk with little one and comments from baby cakes and the girls I had to really think.

I know some of the famous folks that are big in the lifestyle. We speak, interact and talk at times. I don't make it a deal that I know them or any of that. And they have mentioned me in comments as well. But I take it as just conversation that regular folks have.

But little one brought up that people see me interacting with them or they say something about me and more are taking notice. I denied it and then she pointed out particulars to me. And also things baby cakes said combined with others I had no choice but to say ok.

It did make me think about who I have, currently and associate in the future. From the involvements with individuals that were pure mistakes, to holding on to things that should have been let go to the great people I have met, gained knowledge and had great time with.

To the future and beyond:

And through out everything lately there has been the opening for lasting change and solidification of the future for Me and My House. And I am glad that it came and showed the reality of connection, desire, passion and commitment.

This stuff made me smile and grin for it brought goal that was removed full circle. It may change some things as was voiced but it is for the betterment.

There is a lot of planning to do now and things to get done. And a celebration and ceremony to prepare for as well.



So as Busta said. MAKE IT CLAP!!

BRATS and Unforgettable Birthday Adventures

So last weekend was my birthday celebration. And for the first time in a long time I had an unforgettable adventure that was tied to my birthday. Which hadn't happened in a long time.

The male parental unit's worthless brother body was found dead on my actual birthday. For once it was something that happened that didn't bother me like the catastrophies that have occured on my birthday previously.  I lost some good people on my birthday too.

Friday I hung out with the BRATS. That means those of us there were military dependents and when to school overseas. There were a lot of them there and mostly black folks which really is rare. Hell, Id didn't know anything about this until after my weekend plans were made.  So I opted just to attend the pool party. They were on cp time but I survived the heat outside near the pool. Met a number of others that had went to frankfurt as well. drank some trash can punch and ate three cups of fruit from it. lol even the apples had turned blue in it. They were all scared of the NOT punch except for the old white guy ron. So I put about 4 cups down before I left to drive back across charlotte to over by uncc. So I talked, laughed and looked at some titties and ass.

I was supposed to meet one of my classmates from frankfurt there but I never heard back from her then or even to this day. Then my ex best friend was wondering why I didnt tell her about it. Hell, she is married and we rarely ever talk. So oh well keep it moving.

The girls and I had a great time the whole weekend. Hanging out, eating and chilling. We did the erotic poetry thing but it kind of sucked. Their bdsm intro to the vanillas was really weak. All three of us said to each other that we should go on stage and put on a real bdsm show tonight. There were only like 4 poets and that was it. The highlights were the big girl that was twerking and doing a lap dance and hit the splits along with the tall chick in the short dress that sat on the stage and was doing orgasm denial with a hitachi planted between her legs. I had to give it to her she was holding on to wait for the command to cum. lmao

So combine all of that with eating ribs, brisket and breakfast stuff along with pool adventure. *mermaids and waves* baby, baby!

So it was unforgettable. And I was thankful for the girls caring enough about me to share it with me and want to spend time with me on this.

exceptional!

Must be monkey bitch weekend

I see the monkey bitches are coming out this weekend from tree hugging monkey bitch, to weak hearted monkey bitch and this monkey bitch lance jamison or his name on set siromega76.

This monkey bitch boy has been going around violating females and claiming his bitch ass is a fake ass dominant for a long time now. Apparently this monkey bitch didn't like me informing him to not contact me and mine. So he contacts little one again to say tell your fat boy I won't push up on you too hard. This bitch ass don't know no better but he better keep trying to find the inexperienced and females that will fall for that shit.

So between him and seeing the other monkey bitches come out the woodwork this weekend I had to inform and put the psa out there for them. Keep your dumb fucked up asses in Florida, worthless ass nyc, and gboro.

No fucks given at all. And they definitely don't want it over here.

Torn, Worn and Fatigued

It has been a hot one these last days and weeks basically.

The weekend was rough. The heat and doing everything in the heat. But we got things done and I am glad that I could help. I do try to be helpful with things at times when I can. For mine especially as well as others when I can that are approved.

From the heat of atlanta to the the heat of here in bama and this house so I can see what I can expedite and make happen for him to move and let this place go. After arguing about everything once again I am done once again and ready to head back. So it is what it is.

People have issue when you stand your ground. They need you to do, act, and be like what they think, feel and say. It hurts their little feelings when you wont be just like them and make them feel better about themselves. Since I won't give them what they want or play along I am a huge issue in that. But it is all good.

I helped because I want to and can at times. I don't help everyone because that is not who I am. But when I do then I do! It feels good but it is who I am also.

The countdown is well underway and things are definitely going to be different this celebration. How different I don't know but I do know it will be pleasantly different celebration.

A lot on the mind. Well, a lot more than usual i will say and that is a billion times more than normal folks so there is your reference. lol

Enjoy the heat and have a good one

This Evening's Message

Stop acting like you don't have to do anything to achieve or maintain things. 

if it is not important to you then end it and go off into your

universe

Downy Brooks, Haymakers and Whatcha Macallits

I hope you are enjoying this hot weather outside of those that got a lot of rain fall lately and more. The heat has definitely made it's arrival for sure. Personally I can do without all this heat. I am a Caveman after all!

I have had a chance to have some great convos. To discuss things with submissive's and slaves about their concerns and journey. Do plenty of counseling as well as consoling and supporting. I have been versatile, stand offish and close in support all at the same time. Damn I am good!

There is nothing like that value of connection. It is that intimacy that allows you to be able to sit around and not interact and be close to each other. Other to be far away from each other and still have that unbroken closeness. For the most part it is a lost art on the current social regimes.

Dealing with the male parental unit and his deterioration has taken more than it's toll. Plus everything that has been going on with me  of course so that the level of difficulty stays up there. The estate stuff still has to be handled.

Things have taken a turn for the better out of absolutely nowhere and the wild blue. And I am thankful it. Glad for the moment to smile, laugh and enjoy again during the perfect storms. Maybe at some point in the future there will be a safe harbor again.

Looking forward to making these trips to educational conferences, Iceland, Italy, Dominican Republic and so happy to head back to Amsterdam to enjoy the city and the hotel again. Plus there are a number of other places domestic that are booked.  *singing* I'm so excited! lol

One book is coming along. The other is well...yeah a lot to work on there. lol

You get tired of fighting everybody and everything. But I continue because I must in order to make things better for me and dwindling few that I care about now.


So much more but you know the rating deal so do what you know to do and holla if you hear me

As I Ride the Darkness

Well, I survived the graduation without killing her family, choke slamming her and not having to take a chopper flight from fort Campbell out of the country.

The weekend in Tennessee definitely was something else. Get there late Friday after all the stuff that went on that day only to deal with hotels.com fucking everything up. Having to sit on the phone with a middle eastern that obviously wasn't about his job. After spending an hour on the phone as he played with his kids he finally calls the hotel and argues with the lady behind the desk who has been trying to help me. Mysteriously lose the call and have to call back and talk to another middle eastern female that was as helpful as tits on a boar.

So make it to the graduation and it is like hooker central in there. From children to old and older damn chicks. Short dresses and cleavage everywhere. I needed to put them bitches on the track and make some money to pay bills. Sitting up in the super nose bleed section I watched my god daughter walk across the stage. Remembering my walk and adventure. So I finally catch up to her afterwards and she is with her womb and sperm donor. Still shocked that the sperm donor showed up. After a couple of minutes around her as she talked to everyone it was time to feed. They said they were going to Logan's roadhouse to eat. Got there and started eating and finished before they even showed up.

And at Logan's is where I wanted to choke slam my god daughter to the hot concrete in the parking lot. So I sitting and look out the window and see someone in a stripper dress like was in Players Club and it is my god daughter in this white dress with her stomach out and tits barely in. I am like what the entire fuck is she wearing. That is what she had under her robe? So apparently someone said something about she can't eat in there with that on so she put her robe back on. I talked to her grandmother and her aunt had to tell me who she was and I was out to cigars and liquor.

So my god daughter hasn't gotten her graduation gifts yet at all. I am leaving Sunday now so I told her she better get with me before I leave. She said that she was coming that night but I didn't get a text from her until Sunday morning at about 4am saying that she is too drunk.

get ready to leave and tell her to come on and get her stuff and she said that they won't let her leave the house. Now I have to go find her father's house and deliver stuff now. And out she comes in her thigh slit up to her waist and tits barely contained dress.

So I saw my god daughter and spent about 17 minutes with her the whole weekend after driving all that way. I could have just mailed this in but I chose to support.

In closer news those that I care about, love and allow in circles have really been going through it. As much as I will, love to support and be there I see that I cannot do that when that is not what they want from or with me. So I stand and watch or simply forget about them. Can't help those that don't want your help.

As another year passes and I come up on the remembrance of my landing on this planet soon. I see all that has changed and died. The things that have blossomed and the new things that have been happily found.

I merely continue on this Last Ride...

When One Anvil Falls, They All Fall

To say that things have been a rollercoaster would be comparing a snail to a whale in size difference.

Looks like I am going to have to cancel going to my god daughters graduation with the stuff that happened here are the house as well as the other plus add on the male parental unit. So yeah, I am like fuck it all real well now.

Plus the things going on with folks mothers and family so concern about them.

I had another flashback to losing platinum babe yesterday when I was told someone that I have never met but have a good connection with has something terminal. It really made me consider things and wish I could be there.

I will just keep folks in prayer, concern and all even the ones that are somewhere off in the distance doing their thing.


Fuck it all...

POC, Enemies and the Difference in Allies

After the weekend and a number of things going on I figured I would address some things.

In POC (people of color) there are the desires to have something that is specifically for them. That is a safe haven for themselves and those like them. But in a discussion last weekend it showed the fallacy of how POC can become. Because when someone is dating a POC as well as can provide information, education, support and more to the POC community then why should they be ostracized because they are not POC? Oh wait, is this because of the need to reinstitute a mentality hat was thrust upon them by others?  I find it extra stupid to have this mindset. Especially if the person has many other things that make them even more of a minority. But hey it is not my group or anything. And it will be their loss if that is maintained.

Next up is this blanket statement that every white person is the enemy. And if you are not of that thought then you are not black or black enough for those that claim something or status.Hell, one of the cousins had to get checked about claiming that I am an uncle tom because I am around the with the white people at the cigar shop. Well, here is where the ignorance shines brightly.  This planet is not all black, all white, all blue or anything else. So there will have to be alliances that help and further you. Or information sources to be available.

Everyone is not your friend or your ally. Everyone will not maintain their role forever. But know and understand the when, where and how in the moment. Know when enemies become allies and allies become enemies and act accordingly.

And this coming from the man that is Evil anyway. So yeah this is something else.

Leather lady, a wolf and Adventure Time

Changed plans led to revisions and realizations. Yet still the weekend brought merit after another rough week dealing with things.

I saw Deadpool 2 opening night Thursday. It was good but vastly different with emotional content in it unlike the first movie. But Cable and Domino definitely did the damn thing in there. Along with finally getting a real Juggernaut in the movie. I have watched it a couple of times to catch things.

Spent time with little one to deal with things with her.

The consummation of things have been overwhelming to say the least but this is what is a daily thing being a Black Man and a Dominant. When you deal with a submissive, lover and more makes for some hectic times and actions. But tis what I do and have done for many centuries. So I will continue to walk through the fire, the ultimate defense systems and the wars internally and externally against me.

I think the sister and her father are coming to grips more on the future a little bit. Apparently she will be taking him on a trip as he requested. And she has been asking folks to watch him so she can get away.

The weekend was filled with fellowship with Sir JJay and his house as well as time spent with slave renee and wolfie. Some deep conversation on leather and the lifestyle. From discussions about why poc groups would question and deny someone that is dating with or is great resource to the community. it is stupid to me but apparently common place to others.  slave renee is truly doing some great work as a title holder.  And Sir Jjay's ribs smelled delicious as hell.

Still haven't gotten over the damn place that only serves 8 fucking dollars shots and beers at it's bar. or you can go outside and get a frozen daiquiri. But at least we had some good fellowship out there and ass and titties were pointed out while we were outside.

Still not prepared for this week or this weekend and my god daughter's mess. The more shit I find out the more concerned that I am going to have to use that permanent exit strategy unfortunately. But I Love the little girl even though I know damn well she hasn't told me everything now. So this is going to be something else come Friday and Saturday.

I am actually looking forward to next month for the first time in a long time. I am hoping all things work out to make an epic good damn time.

Leaving things here. I need to bounce over to the spot and let loose for real now.