The Thing Called Marriage

Folks have been wanting to converse, give their opinion and even give their side comments and silence lately on a lot of stuff. So here we go with this.

I believe in marriage and what it presents and represents. If those involved want to TRULY be together they can be married and do it. I know that is not the popular comment because everyone needs to be by themselves and all that stuff. Well thanks for informing those that are not hindered in their thoughts, feelings and lives. But I am happy and supportive of those and their desire, ideologies and all on relations, relationships, situationships and marriage.

Marriage is NOT for the weak. Meaning those that are scared of everything or need their version of control to be maintained in their own eyes just have what it takes to do, understand or appreciate marriage. And that is part of free will.

I had a great marriage. But it wasn't all roses and cotton candy. We had our issues and problems both before and during.  But here is the secret. We accepted ourselves, each other and what we wanted, had and could have in our connection. We decided to give are all in those pursuits regardless.

How do you make marriage or any other relationship work? By dedication, communication, support, commitment, connection and actual true love.  if you are pretending or unable in these areas then you get what you get.

I hear the woes, complaints and all daily from folks. In passing, guys at the shop, reading posts online as well as those that I have come to associate with.

My point of view:

I am about marriage. I always wanted it and when I had it I was happy through it all. I even still wanted it for a while after Chocolate Doll dies since I gave my word I wouldn't just destroy it and move on. Well now that I have given it the college try and spoke my mind and heart to who I thought was worthy my desire, actions and all concerning marriage have adjusted to the modern day.

No longer do I attempt to or chase marriage. I don't even desire it anymore. That doesn't mean that I am not open to it if a worthy woman or women came and the opportunity presented itself.  But it means I am good without the need for marriage or to have some faux pas version it.  The girls think that I was lying or didn't grasp what I was saying. But the proof has not only been in what I said but in my actions from last year into infinity.

Marriage gave me and created so many different aspects, experiences and gifts that I am so damn proud and happy for.

Because of marriage I am blessed and can handle the current attitudes, issues and all that present themselves with the opposite gender. I am open minded, loving and caring against the opposing force of fear of vulnerability, emotions, feelings and love.


This is my position. you can do and feel how you choose. I have no problem or concern with that. And it is ok if your mad, don't understand or in ultimate denial of what I have said.


Be blessed and be yourself...

Poetry: Anne Frank Lullaby

my laughter permeates the cosmos
anticipation of the precipitation of
culmination

my grin
my smile

Wait
what was this again

a defied
defined
sub atomic
remnant

snicker
guffaw

now down to
the guttural
business

epic
epicenter
signifying nothing

expounding on everything
holding court over
nothing

There goes the signal flare

simply smiling

huddled
surrounded by

destined
destiny



from the chocolatezeus collection. 3/6/18. (c)

Poem: When you Show Me

from the conception of your first
breath in my presence
action that I bared witness
words that seeped from your existence

you showed me

with the stalwart affect
billowing personnel content
evident security check

you showed me

through processed time
creases within your mind
aptly proportionate design

you showed me

upon a funeral pyre
submerged in the san Andreas trench
aloft in the ionosphere

you showed me

the calm came
silence befriended
ripples subsided

you showed me

And I Believe it




from the chocolatezeus collection. 3/6/18. (c)

Contemplation in Delineation

This will be based on captured moments and conversations. 

I am not sure if it is a trend or just modern day way or life or thinking. 

But why is it such and issue for those that are supposed to be in relationships to have a difference of opinion? It is like that difference of opinion is violating chicks deeply. Because I won't and don't see, act or take things exactly as they perceive and feel it creates this major critical demolition in them. 

The inability to have a discussion where there is listening as well as expression is a dead end with them. 

What happened to being able to actually be with someone and you don't agree but you still remained strong and together? 

Where did understanding and acceptance actually go? 

Burger King and the sliding scale...

The Flow and Laughter of It All

So this will be all over the place but I am a damn caveman and that is what I do.

ACC women's basketball tournament wasn't like it use to be back in the day. There wasn't all the crowds of people or anything. Rather lackluster. And they didn't really market it at all either it seems. Since this is the first year back after the bathroom bill charade I guess it hasn't caught on.

It seems that I am back in counselor and teaching mode. From helping submissives and slaves to talking to vanillas I have never met. I am still weary about helping anyone anymore after last years mess with them females. But it is a part of me no matter how hard I try to shake it apparently.

Some great talks about travel, movies, comics and food have happened with some new people lately. It has been refreshing to communicate at times. Have conversation and exchange interest and creativity.

I have played the Team Titans album a few times. Washed in emotion, feelings and memories provided some great poems and plenty of reflection. Still have to finish a few more from while I was gone.

The discussions about my version of poly. Being a Dominant and love have definitely been colorful. From those that feel it is an issue because what I have chosen to do doesn't fit their little minds and what the masses say I am supposed to do about being poly and those I am involved with. Or the big thing about how I am involved or not involved with others. And of course the usual issue about those that are supposed to be mine having a higher place than others (apparently they don't want to be special to me.)

I have had to really look at the comedy of love, relations and marriage now. Most know that I am pro love, relationships and marriage. But the disconnect they have is that I no longer have an interest really in love or marriage. It is if they can actually love me and not have a melt down then fine. The marriage thing is dead. Unless someone seriously worthy shows up and can handle the role without all the fucked up issues then I am extra good.  But little one and red have both said the same thing along with others that I haven't given up on those things and i still want them. Well truth is in the action and the action has been showing that there is ABSOLUTE ZERO left.  Just sticking with the policy of get in where you fit in if you want. I am still not chasing or making effort if there is not any effort or interest. Plug and play!

BB2 is moving into service stage as soon as I clear up some more stuff. Then I will add them and spread everything out so there will be more coverage for me just like in the old days with a less intimate demeanor.

I am still enjoying Black Panther. Glad that they did a different style movie. Looking forward to Deadpool 2 next.

lol after talking to josh really thinking about going to pick up a few wives for entertainement, sex and financial purposes.

The R/C shop was nice this weekend. Definitely have to head back there. And they had an F 4 corsair and a spitfire there. It is on now.

And cigar shops are life! The place where i go and always end up laughing and talking to a bunch of folk that I have no idea about.  I just need to get up north and hang out with more black chicks that smoke cigars though. There are some fine ones.

And then there is the graduation for my god daughter coming up on memorial day weekend of all weekends. I need a woman to go with me to chaperone, fuck me and for me to beat while I am there. Because it is going to be a hot mess for me. Still have to support my god daughter though. I need to work on someone to do that with now.

And back to the old school is where it is at once again. This year will be back to the basics and being on the go and all that. So yeah, it's on already.

I hope your time has been enlightening and entertaining as mine. There will be more to come in this journey of Life Unscripted though. (the other stuff is where you know it has to be...lol)

Poetic Moment: Lockon Stratus

Lockon Stratus

Come taste my heart beat

Dine upon a love so cold

Let your palette be spoiled by

My fierce passion

As I grip your heart, mind and soul

Destroying your deteriorated feelings

You past imprisonment

Replaced with

Your unexplained craving

Distinct disdain and hatred

For what you feel for me

Fight it

Fight it

The bittersweet, spoiled taste of

You and me

Here in this ethos

Through our astral intimacy

You conflict shows

Prominently

My sniper shots found their mark

Each struck your armored plated heart

Premeditated defenses from your very start

Now I bask in your turmoil

Lick my lips in your quagmire

If only you opened up to

Our parts

My armored piercing rounds

Shot

From the chocolatezeus collection  3/1/18  ©

Poetic Expression: Our Existence

Our Existence

We are

The remnants of

What is

What was

Battle scars left

Battle lines drawn

Wins and losses

Greater than the sum of

Your love everyone absolution

Absolutely

Mixed with my

Ant disestablishment terrorist

Loving

What are

What will be

What was

Questions with no answers

Oh well

So what

We could be

We were

We was

From the chocolatezeus collection  2/27/18  ©

This sums up the girls in my life...lol

Poetic Truth: Just What You Mean to Me

Just What You Mean to Me

A light that shines so bright

In the darkest of darkness devoid of light

Lighting the way

Comforting away other things

Love

In love

So deeply in love

That we are One

A look into your eyes

As I watch the swirls of

Eternity

Your presence

So potent and eminent

Imprinted on the deepest corner of my soul

More precious than all the gold

Even the silence and time could not hold

The power you hold

You surpassed the super

And made it your own

Connected to you

At the atomic level of soul

You heated the absolute zero

Of my heart so cold

That smile

That forever broke

My titanium faced present and past

The Beast ate from your hand

Make Me Better

Your plan of attack

My surrender

Pleasantly evident

Pioneered

Showed the way

Now

You have to help me

With what you wanted me to achieve

So I can honor what you

Meant

Wanted for me

The pure loving that you brought out of me

Always giving respect to

What you mean to

Me

From the chocolatezeus collection 2/26/18  ©

Poetic Emotions: Missing Piece

Missing Piece

I had the puzzle finished

Every piece pristine and fitted

Accomplished

Crowning achievement

As I stood there

Relishing in and admiring

Life took away

The biggest piece of it

But I promised you that I would keep it

Create other masterpieces

But I don’t want to

I don’t even think there is an availability

Yet I promised you

Gave my word to infinity

No new puzzles

Have come to be as interesting or fulfilling

Yet I know

I gave my wod to infinity

Damn

From the chocolatezeus collection  2/26/18  ©

Memories from the Tree

I am just listening to the CZ and CD album and letting the tears come as I remember this was the day that Big Ma died. Tonight around 10 would have been when I felt her die in NC while I was in NW Indy.
do
Reminded me of family. Which reminded me of my family with Chocolate Doll.

So as I have these drinks I will say good morning to you.

Dominant and submissive

To say that it has been a journey would be a gross understatement. lol

There have been times where the thought came across, "what is the purpose?" It is not for those that want the easy road. Believe me there is less stress and wanting to not playfully choke the shit out of your submissive at times. But that is why we control ourselves, lead and maintain.

I started this journey with no mentor or close people to talk to. I started on calls and in groups. listening and paying attention. Black Beat opened my eyes about even more things and it was off to the races from there.

First dynamic was full submersion and very little of what I should have done like set thorough, explicit guidelines, expectations and all. More love than anything resembling D/s for a moment there.

Second dynamic wasn't even one I really wanted but I choose to take a bet and then see what another style submissive would be like. This was way more structured than the first one but i still should have been more strict, discerning and thorough.

These two and that other mess i allowed happen showed me just how bad I had to revamp everything. The system has been extremely changed now. Not perfect but better than previously for whoever may show up that is new. Both vanilla and lifestyles.

I was asked how do I deal with it. Especially considering the types I am attracted to end up with and all that. It is all about balance. Because you are going to deal with their attitudes, life issues and emotions and more on a regular basis. They are not going to make any sense at all and you will have to decipher it or get them to explain it finally. You have those that will want to rebel against you and fight their submission, you and the journey. Those you have to choose if it is worthwhile or not.

I have had submissive tell me I need to do it like this other guy because it works for me. Or you need to find a mentor so this will work. And I have heard other things. Reality is that it takes two at least in this to make and want things to work. Submission is not a gift. It is a choice. And if they are fighting their choice then they obviously don't want to be there so let the do them.

And there is this misconception about this is all about the Dominant getting all that they want. A real Dominant doesn't focus on that. We focus on our submissive. Like I make sure that her educational, career goals and other important things are worked towards, achieved and fulfilled. She serves me through her representation, her submission to me and alignment of will.

I have seen the disasters.
Watched and been involved in the topping from the bottom mess.
Stood in the fire as well outside of it.

D/s is a beautiful, stable and nurturing life if those involved are willing, able and down for the journey together.

Poetic Understanding: The Nexus

The Nexus

Holding separate volatile universes together

Underneath the weight of the galaxy

While straddling two black holes

That is the relational space where you will find me

Land mines for situationship enemies

Open arms for the open minded and ready

There is no blueprint

This shit is not easy

Taking strong willed women

Being the lynchpin of being

While adjusting to and holding down things

Holding burning suns

On erratic courses

With strength, wile and will

While still letting them

Run free and be themselves

So tell me again

About what is or isn’t a relationship

Or how it is all about sex

Because I am watching you struggle with

Your situationship

And you have the nerve to talk about

This poly dynamic

Oh wait

That’s right you are an expert

Always whining and crying

About what was said or done

So tell me again

What I should do

With your anti knowledgeable self?

I will be here waiting

With my three or more

But don’t rush

I am sure you have plenty wisdom

To depart

From yourself

From the chocolatezeus collection  2/24/18  ©