The Apparent Trend of Telling Me...GTFOH

Apparently there must have been a convention for the opposing gender last year or maybe it is a dna based property.  But folk trying to tell me how I think, feel act and what predict about me has gotten beyond ludicrous.

The funny part is none of them know me longer term. Or even long enough to actually get the card to be able to make moves like that. I especially are entertained by females that are on social media or in bdsm that may have interacted with me and think they can get reckless with their thoughts and mouth. But that was because I tried to do that gray area shit and got what I got from it. It is all good lesson learned.

Now that is not to say there isn't someone that can talk to me like that because they know me and have been cleared to be able to do that because of knowing me.

And folk trying to tell me when to use the word female instead of woman is hilarious on facebook. That shit right there still has me dying.


Well, another chapter in the life unscripted adventures.  Plus more coming. And the alternate spot definitely gives clarity.

You guys have a great weekend. Live it fully, directly and seize each moment.

Mic Check, Mic Check...Deep Six in Effect

Well the female parental unit made it through another surgery. Time to see what else is next up on the agenda with her still in the hospital.

I have stared into the abyss for a long time now. And now it stopped staring back at me. The solitude has ran away and now there is only the inferno.

I took a step back before I got married, but to a more evolved point. A tactical plan to deal with, survive and overcome this modern day.

Not much to express here. Radio silence still the best bet for most everything. Trust, dependability and reliability are higher premiums now.

Just me, myself and I with the musical beats that feed the ABM Beast.


Make those moves right now and don't let anyone deter you.

A Short: Desecration of Chocolate...the Beginning

I always loved her chocolate skin. The deliciousness that it inspired and her curves were the fine lines that make the dick rise.

She walked in with her usual casual sexiness. So I looked down upon her. Into those deep, dark eyes. Her full lips glistened. Begging for my attention. So I kissed and tasted their succulence.

I told her to strip. And she did what she was told. No doubt expecting us to have sex and play like always. But today I am here to destroy and break her. To take away her arrogance and safety and feed upon her fear and despair.

She stood there. In all her naked chocolate glory. Waiting. Awaiting what would be next.

I moved in close. Swiftly grabbing her by the throat to choke slam her to the floor. Startled and stunned she gasped. Tried to gain purchase on what just had happened. But the slaps to the face as I called her a worthless whore and slut took her away from thoughts of understanding.

Dragging her by her twists across the cold tile floor. I feel her squirming. Which only makes me pause to slap her harder. I reach my spot as I grab a handful of her hair and put her in a reverse choke hold. Smiling at her gasps for needing breath. Whispering, "where is that dominating attitude of yours now?" I keep the pressure on until you begin the stage of passing fully out. Then I let you fall to the floor.

As you lay there I grab the red rope. Tying your titties up nice and tight. Each one tied separately around and around. Attaching the magnetic clamps on each side of each nipple. The pain flares up inside you awakening your sterilizing pain.  As you reach to pull the tope and take the clamps off you feel your titties and nipples pulled hard and fast toward the ceiling. As I tie the rope to the beam in the ceiling. You feel the strain of breast tissue and nerves being pulled and pulled deeply. your screams and tears fall upon me like cheers.

"Spread your legs now bitch!" is all that I say as you obey. To be met with a rough slap to the pussy. As my hand cups and then squeezes your pussy lips you are confused whether to moan or scream. As I pull the pussy lips apart and slap your clit. You jump expectantly.  Attaching the butterfly clamps to each pussy lips you squirm. I laugh and slap you in the face again. Making the tension on your nipples and tittles intensify again. You whimper. Only to dream again in earnest as your pussy lips are pulled separately to the sky as I attach the chained butterfly clips to the spreader bar.

You begging, "please Daddy, please" as I just watch you swinging. Tits pulled hard and taught. Chocolate veins showing prominently. Or the distended pussy lips praying up to me. You want it to stop but this is just the beginning....




The start of some short story writing. Will see the feedback before I continue.

Poetry: Are you able?

Are you able?

Are you able to?

Accept and understand

Without trying to do a plot twist

To have your own way

Control the Altered Beast

Are you able to?

Listen to what I speak

Instead of using your interpretation

With prepared notations

To attempt to tell me

How I feel

What I think

How it is wrong according to the way you think

Are you able to?

Wait..

You claimed you didn’t do these things

Are you that deep into your misrepresentation?

Or did you just believe your hype

Knowing that it wasn’t right

Are you able to?

Just be true to what you claimed from the beginning

Leave behind therapeutic analyzations

Or gender based malnourished thinking

Damn

I guess you showed me

From the chocolatezeus collection  1/14/18  ©

Beast Mode Poetry: Masochist Assassination

Masochist Assassination

I slightly turn my head

The only acknowledgement

That you entered the room

You know what to do

Stand there until I acknowledge you

I rise to look you in the face

A sneer upon my face

The choke begins

As you gasp

The blade of the knife touches your clavicle

Slicing through your shirt and bra

As you gasp

I finish cutting through your jeans and panties

As the cold air stings your skin

Your chokehold begins

Gasp bitch, gasp

You want that next breath

My soft whisper in your ear

As the depravation mask slips over your head

I am going to kill you

Each slap to the head

Staggering and disorientating you

Your arms snatch above your head

Your instinctive struggle receives

A punch to the solar plexus

You struggle to breathe

As your wrists are cuffed and you hang completely

Intermittent strikes

Between paddle and vampire gloves

Buildup of pain all over

Ass smack

Ass smack

You think the respite has begun

As the sting of each whip swing

Permeates every inch of your body

Letting the knife slice in

Leaving my marks

My design

My name

Upon your back

Fully carved in

Hang there

Trying to breathe and just catch your breath

Feeling the flow of blood

Over dried blood stains

Body bursting in pain

Then

The cold splash came

As pain flares up in every

Mark and cut sustained

Stinging and sizzling

I wish you could hear my laughter

At your screams

Single tail dances upon you

Cuts opening like rose gardens

Your nerve endings blossom anew

The tears flow

From beneath the mask

To drop upon amply marked

Tits

Your nipples clamped

Tightly in pain and suction

The sjambok

Makes the crescendo

As your screams

Reach the pitch and level that I need

Sobbing uncontrollably

Your chest heaves in

Absorbent distress

I lick my lips

Remove your hood

Wait for your adjustment to the light again

Kiss your forehead

That is Daddy’s

Good whore

Good little bitch

His little masochist

From the chocolatezeus collection  1/14/18  ©

Poetry: Revolve Her

Revolve Her

Are they

Interchangeable

Completely the same

Diversified quality exchange?

Smooth bore

They fit

But their caliber

Is circumspect

Being involved with them

Is lie Russian roulette

But this is part of life

The things that I need

Whether it is

Click or spin

The next chamber will explode

With something completely different

Are the differences

Positive or negative?

Damn

I miss that

One Shot, One Kill

Action

From the chocolatezeus  collection  1/12/18  ©

Poetry: You Are the Reveal

You Are the Reveal

Feelings and emotions

Destructively

Crash

Smash

Thrash

Upon the beach of

My heart, soul and mind

As I turn to look

Share and confide

To see you

Remember your past responses

Reminded

Oh never mind

From the chocolatezeus collection 1/10/18  ©

Decisions When Terminal Velocity Has Stopped

Decisions
Decisions
Decisions

This ordeal with the hospital and folks definitely has bene one for the books. Things are not getting better. So just dealing with everything here, there and everywhere.

Eye opening moments from the beginning of this year definitely. Emotional and physical effects. Compartmentalization in effect. Warp speed ahead.

moments of disinfected elations

quantum leaps into the distant abyss

sealed with memories of moments

even a kiss

russian roulette 

with no bullets missing

bang

bang

the death knell tolls

smoking bullet holes

as everything is left

dangling

swiss cheese

remnants of the

heart

Some unique conversations.

I have had to laugh at people and their poly ways. I am still going to do my own thing and my way regardless of their feminist following ways.

Standing here alone I can only know that this is where things ended up being.  I know from whence I came. And I know all that I have destroyed coming into this year.

Better place.
Better moment.
Better me.


Have a good one and make the most out of what you have going on.


Once more upon the ramparts amid the bloody bodies is where I remain.

Yaayyy, for snow at the beach

Yes, it snowed here at the beach. I hadn't seen it like this since Chocolate Doll and I were here visiting. But damn it was beautiful and I have enjoyed every bit of it.

female parental unit still in the hospital. Nobody in or out of the hospital still since they put it on lock down yesterday. So she is there by herself. This stuff with the hospital will still be dealt with.

I have sat back and absorbed everything since I hit the red button at the end of last year.  Distance has become the living heart beat. And the silence has become life's existence.

My leg is better so I don't need to cut that off still. lol

Working on things and making it happen amid the natural disasters that are going on.

So I chuckle. Prepare and take things as they are.

Let me watch Under the Red Hood and Batman & Superman Apocalypse.


Love
Life
Being Me and only Me



Have a blessed one and love those who actually love you

The Last Shots of 2017

I have thank all those that contributed the good and the bad. Those that I have met in all the travel this year and those that I just met.

As I finish up another bottle and work on a new one to bring in the year I have reflected, I have dealt with the loss, understood why people have to be moved like a fire sale and laughed at some great memories.

I have been drinking and smoking like crazy pretty much since I got back from texas and got over losing my leg and my life.

As I deal with the parental units and the situation here I will say that I hope you take your mortality and those you choose to be involved with or care about  seriously for whatever you have with them is worth.

I am ready for the next chapters.

The new additions.
Back to traveling like I use to.
Strength in me and those that actually have a real connection with me.
And prospering through this adversity.


As I flip through the picture collage of the good times this year. I will say thank you again for your participation.

And strap in because 2018 is going to be a wild, vicious, dangerous, No Holds Barred ride. So beware. And if need be follow the exit signs now.



Happy New Year and have a great one.


PSSINTA

No Resolutions...Just an OverHaul

The usual questions about resolutions are floating around.

My answer...

No resolutions at all. I already started overhauling, compartmentalizing, destroying and imprisoning things.

Dating has sucked.
D/s and M/s has beyond testing and trying
Distance is the new life blood
Solving, supporting and being there is seriously costly

Due to the lack of being able to talk to anyone about anything of meaning or have good intellectual conversations I have revised things down to a level that others can understand and be comfortable with. Their love and communication languages if you will. lmao

If there will be no effort, interest or anything to maintain a connection, relation, relationship or dynamic then we will deploy RRP (rapid response protocol.)  This year so much leeway was given like it was candy land for them.

Rekindled the need, requirement and necessity of True Connection. So, it has shown light on things like the Hubble. Thankful.

But I do have to say I had the best cannoli cream and cheesecake ever yesterday in N Raleigh. Wooo I am going to have to hit that spot up again. lol

You saw me this year.
Now you think you see me.
The tank is buttoned up and rolling...

And Now for the Highlight Reel

I was sitting up talking to Charlie today at the shop and he threw me for a loop. My fellow gruntanese , mean and outcast is going to be moving early next year. I am like damn. So it made me think about the adventures of this year.

The year was brought in with red on our first time bringing the new year in ever. A lot of chill, laughing, watching and I finally got to sample the food she cooks and gives to everyone but shipping me some.

bgp and I hit my favorite air & space museum. she got to watch me enjoy and be a kid in there. That is one of the places that I never get tired of and always excites me and brings me joy and happiness. Along with so many lasting memories and important things to me.

Hit Amsterdam with red and it brought back memories of being a kid in Belgium as well as new adventures created and the memories of the whole thing. But I loved the torture museum. Sex museum was alright. Watched her do some science and the Nemo science museum. We walked a lot but there was so much to see and had some good food as well. Looking forward to me going back there soon.

tigger and I hung out at the river poetically pontificating. Chilling and smoking.

The Booty review. Man o man you had to be there to understand. You had big gorgeous, big booty judy and map together twerking and dancing. It was like a smorgasbord of ass from big to normal size. And the twerking class that never happened was great!

Had my first pick up play scene that did not end well but that is due to drama and issues of them.  But my next pick up play scenes went well. Two pre negotiated and one negotiated during the cigar social which went well and gave her what she needed. And that made me glad I could help and be of service  to the things she was dealing with and getting past.

The episodes at the golf course. Laughing about that thai wife thing.

The drink and smoke fests that I have had more than a number of times this year. lmao and probably going to squeeze in one more before we out of here. lol

Hitting the basketball games and seeing them play their hearts out.

Once again dressed to the T's for the gala. I miss them days of being dressed up like that and just strolling in like "what? Motherfucking what?"  lmao

I was reminded about the importance of and why true connection was needed and that made me smile and set my protocols accordingly.

This year I got back to traveling some. Not as much as I use to or want. But that is about to go back to standard next year with everything else from the old school me. Let the good times roll!


So I have just been sitting over hear smiling and laughing. Remembering different things that have happened and made me be glad for them.

As the music plays though I am just laughing to myself and about to write the final epitaph in the journal.


Make sure you look at the good times and enjoy them.

Welcome to the Turning Tide

As I deal with the icu people today I decided to put in writing my review I had been contemplating.  So let the shakespearean epitaph begin...

This year has been full of ups and downs. Seems like it has passed by at break neck speed as well. But here we are about to move on to another one.

There have definitely been some trips in there. From going back home to Amsterdam to los angeles, colorado, texas and the dmv plus more.  Memories were definitely created.

I also took this year to explore, learn and help more in bdsm. Through discussions, educations and more I have lent my hand and mind to help guide, assure and support those that were available, open to and wanted it. Now, a number of those were some that were not able to or ready to grasp the concepts of this life but oh well. I learned not to be bothered or waste time on them. You can only help those that are willing and open to it.

Roles, Skills and Abilities:

These three things I had a very enlightening experience with this year. In ways that I wasn't prepared for and others that I was prepared for.

Roles:

This is where you have submissive, slaves and girlfriends with their al a carte selection of their role. Where they are this is the way that my submission is and you need to deal with it or fix yourself to handle it. Well, that doesn't work when alignment of wills need to occur for a dynamic to work effectively. But the burger king mentality grows by the minute.

And just being able to be open enough to know your role. To understand that it may not be what you have always thought or felt it was. And not to get angry because you are told how your role is seen from the outside.

Skills:

This is where attitudes flair a lot. Because it is all cute to get a title and feel like you are in there. But if you can't actually be a submissive or slave in actual action or duty then guess what? There are no viable skills and you will be treated as such. The inability to focus, constant backlash or don't wanting to complete tasks simply shows your skill level and lack of dedication.

Abilities:

This is one where as a Dominant you have to be able to listen, observe and factor in what someone is capable of. Can they organize profusely? Are they a science whiz?

I have seen some abilities like empathy and support roles. I have also seen the ability to disregard and disappear because things were not the way they wanted or comfortable for them.


What has been learned:

Distance is the final frontier. It is the comfort zone that many keep in it's many forms. That warm blanket and stuffie for most.

Beware who you try to learn from, interact with or who claim to be proficient in anything especially this lifestyle.

Connection and intimacy are taboo in more than casual, minimal or superficial dose.

Regardless of how people choose to interpret, dissuade and count you and your standards out. In the end the only thing that matters is being true to you.

No matter what there is going to be backlash, hatred, dismissal and more from those that claim to love, be with you and are under you. Deal with it accordingly and in tune to the individual and individuals.

Trusting someone with emotional and deeply personal aspects has pretty much decayed from this years experiences. The vault remains closed with only one access card available to use. Which is sad because it is great to be able to express fully and share fully. But it also has to be something that can be handled by who you choose to share and express to without judgement, attitude, the way they think you need to do it and more.


So...

I look back to see some memorable smiles. The look into some eyes.  The abyss. All the things that I had to fight, live and survive through.  I can laugh at some more things than I could at earlier times in the year now.

Along with things I am dealing with anniversaries. Preparing for death. Making what moves must be made. Working on everything that comes into play and has to be attended to for next year.

I feel like George S Patton during the battle of the bulge. I want prayers to kill my enemies and we will fight through the day and night to freedom. Freedom being me.


Thank you for joining me on this journey this year. I am glad there have been plenty of reads on the poetry on here. As well as the reads for the blog portion. From the silly to the apathetic so much has been covered.

Wishing you a happy new year. And thanks for riding with me.