Last monday was Chocolate Doll's birthday. A lot was on my mind. From the past to the present and the future. It didn't help that the male parental unit was here. That really fucking made the day horrible. That is why I stay away from the parental units during anniversary, her birthday and stuff.
It took me into thinking about how things were, have been and will be. Chocolate Doll wanted me to live after she was gone. We had that discussion before she died. That live life fully.
I care about, like and appreciate redvelvet and babygirlprincess. They have been who I have been with over these years. Our adventures, our disagreements and more. Even things with my Ru and tigger have have been transmuted into something else. But all have been what was needed.
There has been a serious influx of thinking, feeling and emotion. Things swirled around and manifested in force ghosts and more. The storms have been crushing and the eyes of them have been like a library.
So with everything changed. I have reached out and gave invite to what is now.
I finally met up with Charlie after all these months he has been gone from the cigar shop. I know there is more than he is telling that happened but I can respect that. Just was good to see him for a minute and just shoot the shit and chill. That old, white biker guy is definitely a brother to me.
Well, the next major issue to deal with has happened tonight. So it is time to deal with things.
Wish you well. Don't let experiences and life past you by.
Wednesday, August 16, 2017
Sunday, August 13, 2017
I Walked Into the Minefield and the Minefield Won
So here we go with a week review...
It has been a long week. Fatigue, not sleeping, eating barely and a little bit of everything has gone on. Life was covering it's bases apparently.
I will and have walked through the bottom of hades and hell for those I love. Even when it is them that are the current enemy. Right now I am bloody and battered beyond recognition. But still love, caring and concern remain my mission.
Things with babygirlprincess opened my eyes to things with everyone that I was involved with. The factors, miscommunication, mistakes. One of those things was that I asked them to be and do something that was strictly for and of me. So I had to apologize for that.
Definitions of needs, comforts and feeling have changed. An full metal alchemist transmutation.All from experience, miscalculations and observations.
I ask you
Just take my hand
Let Us stand
stand together
once again
this evolved
relationship
a 3rd Bass
Product of the Environment
Maybe it is time to call Amanda Wahler. Ready taskforce x.
Send the Suicide Squad in
And I missed Charlie at the cigar shop wednesday unfortunately. I haven't seen him in like 3 months. Missed him by 30 minutes.
The Joker and Apocalypse symbol in the air
Is Mr Wolf dead?
It has been a long week. Fatigue, not sleeping, eating barely and a little bit of everything has gone on. Life was covering it's bases apparently.
I will and have walked through the bottom of hades and hell for those I love. Even when it is them that are the current enemy. Right now I am bloody and battered beyond recognition. But still love, caring and concern remain my mission.
Things with babygirlprincess opened my eyes to things with everyone that I was involved with. The factors, miscommunication, mistakes. One of those things was that I asked them to be and do something that was strictly for and of me. So I had to apologize for that.
Definitions of needs, comforts and feeling have changed. An full metal alchemist transmutation.All from experience, miscalculations and observations.
I ask you
Just take my hand
Let Us stand
stand together
once again
this evolved
relationship
a 3rd Bass
Product of the Environment
Maybe it is time to call Amanda Wahler. Ready taskforce x.
Send the Suicide Squad in
And I missed Charlie at the cigar shop wednesday unfortunately. I haven't seen him in like 3 months. Missed him by 30 minutes.
The Joker and Apocalypse symbol in the air
Is Mr Wolf dead?
Saturday, August 12, 2017
Hip Hop Made Me...44 Years after the birth of hip hop
Yesterday was the 44th anniversary of the birth of hip hop. A music genre that changed things, illuminated and created so many new aspects.
Growing up in Japan and Germany started my immersion and development in hip hop. It is where I began being a head phone and music lover. Always with my headphones and music going. Even up to this day.
I can remember watching the Tomblin twins mixing and scratching back in the YHS days. The music rocking and the fascination. Hell, the japanese would have all the new music to enjoy. It was wear I bout my first vinyls at. Some Kurtis Blow 8 million stories, aj scratch and basketball being playing from vinyl on my boombox. lol
Artists like:
Growing up in Japan and Germany started my immersion and development in hip hop. It is where I began being a head phone and music lover. Always with my headphones and music going. Even up to this day.
I can remember watching the Tomblin twins mixing and scratching back in the YHS days. The music rocking and the fascination. Hell, the japanese would have all the new music to enjoy. It was wear I bout my first vinyls at. Some Kurtis Blow 8 million stories, aj scratch and basketball being playing from vinyl on my boombox. lol
Artists like:
- Afrikan Bambatta
- Dougie Fresh
- Kool Moe Dee
- the Boogie Boys
- Just Ice (that damn Latoya is still the business)
- BDP
- Mantronix
and the list goes on and on. I may not have been able to dance but I loved some music. From gangsta to mob music and the southern style.
Hip hop inspired changes into all aspects of life. Now we hear hip hop songs in commercials that back in the day would never have let that get in the building. Or to hear white girls doing Sir Mix a Lots "baby got back." Is still hilarious.
Today I am still jamming the old school hip hop. Key to my ABM most of the time especially with some Onyx, Tupac, DMX and stuff.
So yesterday I went through videos and posted on facebook. From my lust over big tit Lisa Lisa from lisa lisa and cult jam to the lyrical greatness of KRS1. Had me dancing, bobbing my head and thinking about memories.
Memories like listening to 3rd Bass and 2Live Crew on my way to Ibiza Spain from Germany. Or all the tommy boy records from jammig on the westside of Yokota Japan.
It made me feel good, smile, laugh and grin at so many things as I just went through them all and lived.
It still makes me laugh at the young boy at the airport talking about gucci man is old school. Damn, I must be more ancient than I thought. lmao
Well, enjoy yourself and the music move you.
Friday, August 11, 2017
Social Experiment: the Perception of males and females
I found it interesting that no matter whether it was the search using women quotes or men quotes that the results remained the same. And I am not talking about the same images. I am talking about the types of images that showed up.
Basically the images all seemed to vilify or make the man seem to be the unintelligent brute while the women is the being that can do no wrong and is being exploited and destroyed by the man. From men cannot love a woman to men are gods and so forth. On the other side it was things like it will be alright, you will find a real man out of the masses that will make you a queen and etc.
This is the perception of men by women? This is what society enforces and teaches?
Feel free to look for yourself.
Tell me your thoughts.
Thursday, August 10, 2017
The Cliched Man
As a man and a Dominant there are so many generalizations that it is funny. There are thousands of them but I am just going to throw some out there so I can continue laughing.
As a Dominant:
You are just a pimp trying to sell girls and fuck them.
Well actually they do what they want and they are not selling pussy unless they wanted to.
All you want to be and are is a player. You are playing with all those girls heads.
Actually they know of each other and some have actually met. lol
You just want them to do what you say. Be your slaves.
Actually I would love to have a slave. And submission is their choice to submit to me. Once again THERE CHOICE. lol
As a Man:
You are just running up in all the pussy you can get.
Actually I have a lot less sex with the exact same partners than you do.
Just a man whore.
See the previous answer.
Just can't settle down and be committed.
Actually my committment takes a lot more work than your one on one and vanilla situation.
There is always almost the great redundancy in these things when it comes to people. But wait this is not only vanilla folks but also folks in the lifestyle.
Because I like titties, ass and pussy. I love seeing naked females with great bodies. And I am more prone to have a relationship with someone that we decide to fuck each other on the first date than someone that won't do that (lol I got married that way.)
These cliched views ar like constant bombardment but at this point I am use to it all. We will just fight in the shade as the Spartans would say.
As a Dominant:
You are just a pimp trying to sell girls and fuck them.
Well actually they do what they want and they are not selling pussy unless they wanted to.
All you want to be and are is a player. You are playing with all those girls heads.
Actually they know of each other and some have actually met. lol
You just want them to do what you say. Be your slaves.
Actually I would love to have a slave. And submission is their choice to submit to me. Once again THERE CHOICE. lol
As a Man:
You are just running up in all the pussy you can get.
Actually I have a lot less sex with the exact same partners than you do.
Just a man whore.
See the previous answer.
Just can't settle down and be committed.
Actually my committment takes a lot more work than your one on one and vanilla situation.
There is always almost the great redundancy in these things when it comes to people. But wait this is not only vanilla folks but also folks in the lifestyle.
Because I like titties, ass and pussy. I love seeing naked females with great bodies. And I am more prone to have a relationship with someone that we decide to fuck each other on the first date than someone that won't do that (lol I got married that way.)
These cliched views ar like constant bombardment but at this point I am use to it all. We will just fight in the shade as the Spartans would say.
Wednesday, August 09, 2017
Poetry: Just Me and My Friends
Just Me and My Friends
Despondent
Like a cruise ship
Tossed like salad at
sea
While being eaten
By the Kraken
There is just me
Only me
One-man army
Aka Bad Company
Sitting and drinking
Lost in comradery
Empty
Base line
Unmoving
Feelings
Perched on this
Gilligan’s island to
the extreme
With no one else
Or rescue to be seen
Feeling
Loyalty
Forward thinking
Investing
The enemies
So I hang out
Spend time with the
friends
Because in the end
They won’t
Bullshit me
From the
chocolatezeus collection 8/9/17 ©
Tuesday, August 08, 2017
Poetry: Holding These Truths to be Self Evident
Holding These Truths to be Self Evident
Venomous spit
Of the ones
That mention
Love and caring
Leaving me to
Smile at them
Read their intent
Understand the long
list of
Self and self service
As I contemplate
Designate their
existence
Original flames
Either
Extinguished or
diminished
Regardless
Contained
Still
The final curtain
call
Remains
Their decision to be
seen
From the
chocolatezeus collection 8/8/17 ©
Send In the Clowns
Sir Bear had posted about songs that represented your dynamic as well as how you are feeling today and got me to thinking.
My song for the dynamic is...
https://youtu.be/O_1ruZWJigo
The title, actions, adventure pretty much sums things up.
But it made me think about how things are with red and babygirlprincess lately. The issues, interpretations, miscommunications. All are part of what is going on in their lives as well as mine. It has been trying. There has been very little level of comfort at all. But weathering the storms is what I do because I know the possible goals at the end.
After reaching into the abyss, allowing death to grip and comfort me I made decisions. Deciding to give both red and babygirlprincess exactly what they both want and need. They can be happy, content and live to whatever they choose to.
I embrace the journey that has began. The changes that have happened this year through experience, being around proper people, seeing slaves and submissives living and enjoying. I have been graced with eye opening things this summer especially. And I look forward to even greater things from this point on.
From the depths of Hell I sit. Comforted and understanding.
*cue the Long Kiss Goodnight*
My song for the dynamic is...
https://youtu.be/O_1ruZWJigo
The title, actions, adventure pretty much sums things up.
But it made me think about how things are with red and babygirlprincess lately. The issues, interpretations, miscommunications. All are part of what is going on in their lives as well as mine. It has been trying. There has been very little level of comfort at all. But weathering the storms is what I do because I know the possible goals at the end.
After reaching into the abyss, allowing death to grip and comfort me I made decisions. Deciding to give both red and babygirlprincess exactly what they both want and need. They can be happy, content and live to whatever they choose to.
I embrace the journey that has began. The changes that have happened this year through experience, being around proper people, seeing slaves and submissives living and enjoying. I have been graced with eye opening things this summer especially. And I look forward to even greater things from this point on.
From the depths of Hell I sit. Comforted and understanding.
*cue the Long Kiss Goodnight*
Sunday, August 06, 2017
Insecurities...the Relationship Killer
People have things that they are insecure about. That is part of most of their lives.
Due to actions, activities and discussion though I had to say a few things on this.
Insecurity is an issue when it is used as a tool, weapon or defense system. Like when someone is stretching to find something to compare to a bad experience they had previously. Or I can't put any effort into being with or interested in until you make me feel comfortable is said.
And for those in the feminist, female and perpetrators of the use of their inseurities in the way I described above I am NOT saying that you can change immediately or even more than 10 percent. But damn, every bit helps and effort has true VALUE and MEANING.
It can be hard for people to address, understand and especially deal with their insecurities. Hell, even when I try to help with their insecurities there is backlash, attitude and all out combativeness. So yeah I am good.
As with most things you have to make a choice on where you will stand. What will be accepted and the next necessary action.
It's all good, without a doubt though.
Due to actions, activities and discussion though I had to say a few things on this.
Insecurity is an issue when it is used as a tool, weapon or defense system. Like when someone is stretching to find something to compare to a bad experience they had previously. Or I can't put any effort into being with or interested in until you make me feel comfortable is said.
And for those in the feminist, female and perpetrators of the use of their inseurities in the way I described above I am NOT saying that you can change immediately or even more than 10 percent. But damn, every bit helps and effort has true VALUE and MEANING.
It can be hard for people to address, understand and especially deal with their insecurities. Hell, even when I try to help with their insecurities there is backlash, attitude and all out combativeness. So yeah I am good.
As with most things you have to make a choice on where you will stand. What will be accepted and the next necessary action.
It's all good, without a doubt though.
Poetry: As the Gavel Falls Upon Related Remnants
As the Gavel Falls Upon Related Remnants
The death toll
Of my heart and soul
To infinity and
beyond
Populicide
Is all that is on my
mind
Iceberg slim cold
Remains too warm for
me anymore
Recipient
Participant
In these cryptic faux
episodes
As I cock my head
Stare into the abyss
As their words and
actions
Give way to
fraudulent hieroglyphs
Aspects of
Feelings
Caring
Alleged importance
All and more
Forever held in the
Ultimate contempt
Well court is in
session
Handing out death
sentences
Penalties of life non
existences
Removal of
United citizen ship
Court is adjourned
From the
chocolatezeus collection 8/6/17 ©
Saturday, August 05, 2017
Poetic Reality: I Am Just Your Modern Day CaveMan
I Am Just Your Modern Day CaveMan
I hear the whine and
complain
How I need to
Live in the gray area
Conform and change
Evolve they say
My counter point
My evolution
Apparently not on
their
List of approval
Sticking to
Principles and the
way
Has ostracized
Lessened their so
called
Evolutional decay
So they remain
In disdain of me
Of stepping outside
of their
Emotional solitary
confinement
For not joining them
in their
Imprisonment
Importance
Survival
Protection of Me and Mine
Me against the World
The rules
That remain
Survive from
This stone age
caveman
Who evolution has
already claimed
And exceled into
Life
Living and
understanding
Still the
CaveMan
Reigns supreme!
Outlasting
The trendy and
nouveau things
The grays and changes
LoL
Still just
ME
From the
chocolatezeus collection 8/5/17 ©
Poetry: The Noh Mask You See
The Noh Mask You See
You think that it is
there to hide
To obscure
You from what is
underneath
It is in place to
attempt
To get you to focus
on
Understanding and
acceptance
Expressionless
Yet speaking profound
volumes
If only you listen
instead of interpreting
Each similar
But holding different
reveals
Depending on who is
viewing
The inner sanctum
Inner circle
Know my mask
Well
The Midgard circle
And the outer circle
Still contend with
their
Inability to remove
themselves
From the understanding
For there in each
carved line
Each contour
Are the answers to
questions that you haven’t even asked yet
To solutions to your
Fears and
trepidations
Your
Loving, comfort
Closer walk with me
Deepest understanding
Lies in place
Plainly upon my face
This mask
Gives you the
entrance
The opening to
Everything
I am the
Myōga-akujō
From the
chocolatezeus collection 8/5/17 ©
Chocolate Doll Poetry Moment: At Last
This is something that fell out from a culmination of discussions with folks lately, thinking and the upcoming birthday next week. Made me laugh, remember and understand more clearly current existences.
At Last
The moment
That decimated
All previous atrocities
A Man and a Woman
Damn we already beat
The societal, gender
and race prophecies
Womanhood
Love
Gorgeous Beauty
Captured so vividly
Even being there
Was hard to believe
A miracle
The ultimate anomaly
You
The Eternity
Me
The Chaos Supreme
Hearts pumping
Molten lava loving
through the ultimate
union
Etta
The Sun
Crying strange
females
As the waves crashed
Upon our beach
The moment
Where the search for
The elusive woman
Partner and MVP
Took away
The face of society
The unavoidable lack
of
Reality
Relationships
The Deeper things
As Etta sang again
At Last
The chains of
Thought
Feeling
About the whole relationship
thing
Laid waste
Laid bare
To the undeniable
application
If you want it
They want it
Then it will be
achieved
At Last
From the
chocolatezeus collection 8/5/17 ©
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