Spoken Thoughts: Head on a Swivel

Head on a Swivel

I have to pray

Before I even leave out the door

That I will not run into or

Be accosted by

Hatred, evil and the law

My skin tone

Intelligence and all

Puts a bullseye

Upon my

Existence

Even though

My license and registration

Gun carrying

Regulations are

Legally obtained and kept

I am rolling legit

But that still doesn’t stop

A disgruntled person

Officer or not

To reserve my slab in the morgue

With their ill intent

Each day I spin the wheel

Pray it doesn’t land on that

I will never return type of

Deal

Always on the lookout

For black, white, Mexican and more

Blue lights flashing

Means be careful even more

Even though it is supposed to be

A comforting support

I don’t think every cop is

Ready to break the law

Shoot me full of holes

But with things lately

I cannot ignore

The black and blue

Coroner

Suspect DOA

Case closed

So I watch intently

The black cop who is trying to make

A name and recognition for themselves

Or the white one with a chip on his shoulder

And coming up gun unholstered

Should I be on guard?

No, but I don’t pretend that

Treachery is not out there

Each day showing me

Just how dangerous it is

To just be

Me

So

I will remain

Vigilant

From the chocolatezeus collection  7/17/16  ©

The Muse Speaks: Relational Effect

I hadn't put a poem up in a while and the muse has been active so here you go...

Relational Effect

We have

No past

No future

Even current movements

Are apparitions

If you look closely

Microscopically

Oh there love is

Still hanging there

Love and in love

Barely existing

A chuckle

A grin

No there is no

Beginning

Or

End

Does that mean

That there is

Nothing?

From the chocolatezeus collection  7/17/16  ©

Alone is My Home

I walk alone. Whether by myself or within a crowd. No fear in this situation or even the realization. Merely the way it is.

No, it hasn't always been this way. There have been a couple that I wasn't alone with. Chocolate Doll and Ru Ru had me not needing that.

Why yes, it is contrary to the fact that I do not let someone I like feel like or be alone. But this is not about being fair or equality.

Even when I get the comparisons to exes, people that others have known and the unknown I still keep rolling on. Alone.

What is my preference?
Well, it is not being alone. But I live in reality instead of a piper dream that is personally grown. Not being alone is great. It is the Great Connection, where you can be around someone else and just chill and it is great. Or be doing things together and enjoy it tremendously.

So, as I sit here looking at the distance between me and those in the outer circle. I see the ramifications and options. My feeling has flat lined. Empty ekg recordings.

I continue to walk talk. Gladly ready and able to smile at someone that can be next to me on this ride along. Taking away the concept of being alone.

I conclude with this smile. And don't be over there where you are being alone.

Business is Business (yes it is a rant)

In this day and age of racial, economic and intelligence profiling. One thing I am rather anal about is business.

This whole support black businesses, organizations and all is fine. All good.
Until...

Your fucking, service, product, event and business ends up being BULLSHIT! And you can call it being an uncle tom and or another bullshit you want. But if you are not providing a com probable and good product or service. Then I hope you need to file bankruptcy soon.

I don't give a damn if you are fucking african, a mex, a towel head or black. Provide quality product and services at a competitive price.

And these fees by the airlines, gubberment and huge corporations are beyond ridiculous. And then you make a mistake and tell me that of sorry we can fix that at the new rate since the rate has changed since I booked it. Really bitch! Really!

And if you tell me in your correspondence that the hotel will call you to schedule your reservation. Don't fucking charge the reservation and you haven't even contacted me.

Yeah black lives matter. The matter of fact need a better business acumen in a bunch of them.

*crushing the mic*

The DMV and flower child

I had a good time in the DMV with flower child. We hung out and chillled. I spent the time relaxing and everything.

Thursday we went to my favorite place to go The Air and Space museum at the smithsonian in Chantilly, Va. It is where I go to enjoy the pleasures of being a kid. Growing up wanting to be a pilot that bombed and shot people to their death as I flew over was one of the things I wanted to become. But here is where I go to be in aww of planes, weapons and history. As well as memories of some of the planes personally. I was plainly in my element and an enjoyable place.

Friday we did dcsails. We got on a schooner at the wharf in dc and went down the river and back again. Looking at the land from the water. Very nice adventure. And the entertainment was provided by the drunk females and lawyers that were also on the boat. Special shout out to the oriental little lawyer and the other skinny chick trying to hoist the main sail up. Pure comedy! There really wasn't any wind going on so we motored along. But I was thankful for the breeze we got from motoring along because it was hot.

We attended our first party together and played publicly for the first time together. Definitely an experience. I am not sure how long we played but it was good. Hell she got to play and little one got to play the weekend so they both should be happy.

Ate at a nice greek spot day one and I had a chance to enjoy my Maggianno's again. So good food was had. Plus enjoyed breakfast and happy hour at the hotel. The bartender definitely was personable.

Wasnt' happy about the cigar shops I wen to in bmore after flower child went to her littles event. Everyone had said it was a nice spot to go to and they barely had 20 boxes of cigars in their walk in humidor.

Even with all the heat and the traffic. A good time was had with plenty of adventure, thoughts and more.

Here at Arkham Assylum

It is like being both the Joker and Batman as the warden of Arkham most of the time. lol

The inmates are vast. From craziness, insanity, attitude, ego and combative natures. There is just about everything going on with individuals that I come in contact with and interact with. And the best part is there are no cells to encase them in with my Arkham. lol

Here, normalcy or any resemblance of it is an impossibility. There is harley, cat, poison ivy, two face and killer frost for starters. Scattered everywhere and at any given time. Things definitely never get to the boring part.

The attempts to lead, mislead, control and be rebellious at a seemingly increasing rate. But that is why there has come the correction and revelation initiative.

So the gitmo, electroshock, waterboarding torture is in effect! You have to pulverize a few eggs to make an omelet.


I laugh at those that think that poly is easy or it is about sex and greed. It is a lot of work and a lot of sacrifice. It is taking a flight backwards when dealing so that I can move ahead.  Yet, in this journey it is about taking care of, supporting and growing those involved. Make no mistake, I know the reality of each of the situations. As much as I have thought and looked at the webs of outcomes. Smh

But still "change is a coming." And it is not going to be what they expect, how they want it or what they are use to. The new Arkham will definitely be better for Me! Reflecting the principles of Apokalips and the Titan's moon.

The Kraken has been released.

So...

LET THE BEATINGS CONTINUE UNTIL MORAL IMPROVES OR THE PRISONERS ARE EXPIRED!

The Results of Connections and the Future

There has been a lot going on in my mind as well as out of it.

One of the things that has been most important to me has been CONNECTION. It has been one of those things that have kept me grounded, connects me intimately and allows true access to the deepest parts of me. This comes in levels of course with the inner sanctum being the throne room where you can Truly be connected to me.

But the fear and responsibility of that connection is what I have seen being such a major issue. Even when I have given up a lot of vulnerability so they could understand what I want and where I am going. Never have I asked anyone to be where I am because I know they are unable to be that far ahead in what I see.

The other aspect of connections use to be spending time with someone that I wanted to. Taking trips ad having great adventures. The light bulb went off with this lately and I realize that tradition is pretty much dead. Yeah, there may be a miracle somewhere in the future but I am not holding my breath. lol  It just means I am not asking, mentioning or creating interest in any of that unless there is an effort from someone else.

It has been good to get back to traveling. To get away and just relax, eat, drink and be. I already have my list of places to head to. Since I didn't go to Amsterdam last year I am going to either do it the end of this year or early next year.  Add to that the upcoming TX trip (I can't wait to have that much fun and entertainment again....Wooo) Back to the DMV and hitting up Miami. Jamaica is up in the air because my resort would require me having to go with a female (difficult).  But the Italy and Europe trips are looking nice so far. Either way, I am taking it back to the Tried and True Old School Ways.

Not upset. Not really feeling anything at all. I will always be ABM but that is in my blood. But this point has come to where activity is flat basically. The closed off portions of me are there until the situation comes up where it will change that.

I am at a place where I have stood at my crossroads and left the road completely. Much of this is how I was before I got married combined with my experiences and learning from dating since then and especially in the last couple of years.  Focus has changed and I am taking things to the next level.

Looking forward to some play and more disappearing acts. So Big Evil Chocolatezeus and Havoc will be coming to a town near you!!!  *evil laughter*

Time for a cigar and some more moonshine. Have some? lmao

Tossing a Grenade Down the Rabbit Hole

Last year I took a step back. This year I have came to a halt. Now the decision is to decide to carpet bomb or kick everything into the negative zone.

I had a nice birthday today and weekend. Today was full of laughter, talk, smoking, eating and drinking with a lot of thought.

Have to admit that thai food at Tastee Thai is really good. And yeah it is healthy also. lol  But, I needed to go do something today and that is what I chose to do. And as usual it was worth it.

There was only one thing I wanted for my birthday since last year. And I didn't get it. But I expected that so it wasn't a true disappointment. It was merely an affirmation.  So with that comes another change in how things are. I gave it all a chance. I did my part and now I am in the results stage. And I am good after learning this lesson.

Ru and I had talked about things in depth as usual and what had to be done for next year based off of results this summer and this year. And it all has come to fruition.  So a new direction has been taken with new destination.

Through this journey

I have become a better Dominant through walking the minefields, traps and obstacles. There have been some faltering and there was a failure but still things have pressed on. I look at where I was in the beginning till now and I see the progress. The guidance, attention and wisdom to stabilize, create and make things better. This walk has been made through guidance from those with many years experience, my own experience and understanding. Still, I know that this still in it's beginning stages. And I will continue to push forward and progress.

I have come to a point where things have not gone according to plan. What I wanted has been out of my hands. And the struggle has been real.

So I closed down this experiment in niceties and human like atrocities to return to being simply the Titan that I am. As I watched everything from the recent past wash away I realize, what was, what could have been and what is. And now there is only the man, the memories and the thoughts left as any parts of me.

I may think too much and cannot sleep. But I come to understand, sort and make a plan of attack as i begin my assault.

Returning to the World War 2 era of the United States style of being.

Braced and Ready for New Adventures

I am looking forward to leaving the country again. And next year I will be further going back to the old school way of things. No longer weighted with expectations and extraneous outside things. I ride and the adventure begins. If someone wants to ride then so be it. If not...yeah, oh well.

Simply I am me, myself and I. I am not:

• Your exes
• Previous Dominants
• Something you can manipulate and change
• Or your servant

Resistence is futile. But understanding and acceptance of all of me works Perfectly!

Swinging the Door Closed

So last weekend I finally let go of someone that use to be a lover, friend and partner many years ago.

It wasn't a violent ending situation. It wasn't a big blow up. It was a realization that no matter how much the olive branch has been extended she is still fucking crazy for no reason.

Things came to a head when I didn't get a response to my questions and then stupid assumptions right with that. If I tell you that I am going to do something then I will do it unless I tell you that I cannot. It is just that simple.

But what can you expect from someone that hides from everything? Unable to admit her jealousy and envy. Making up this story and that story. Trying to evade anything you ask her or attempt to have her account for.

I watched the last remnants float away last week. And I said good bye to it all.


EXIT STAGE LEFT!!

Is That Daylight? Really!

I looked up as I went to go fix me a drink and I see sunlight. Damn, I didn't know it was that late.

But after a week and this weekend of things. I am not even surprised.

Like that horrible Bugs Bunny would say, "I should of stayed in bed."

That is if I had went to bed. lmao

Enjoy your sunday folk

Upcoming Hatchling Day and the Changing of the Guard

As I sat at the bar drinking my 5th drink. My cigar buddy Rich asked me what I was going to do for my birthday. It made me think. (lol, yeah like there was need for more of that)  My response to him was nothing. And that is the simple fact of the matter.

Most of my adult life I really never celebrated my birthday. A lot of deaths, issues and more have occured on my birthday. So I didn't celebrate it. Not, until I started dating and then married my wife did I actually consider and start celebrating them. She told me it was important and it began to be important to me. But I think that was more of celebrating with someone that wanted to celebrate it with me and have our adventures. I learned that I would rather have those that I was connected to, loved and wanted to be with me with me on that day.

Not having someone to celebrate my day with is nothing new since I became a widow. The last time my birthday was celebrated was my 40th when I spent the weekend with the two females that I had relations with at that time in the swing world.  (And now both of them lost their mind and joined the ranks of the unknown.) So this really is nothing new.

Anyway

I am always doing things by myself. And i had wanted someone to spend time with on my birthday and other important days. But I am not going to make anyone do it. If they have not chosen to be a part then there is not need for me to say or do anything at all.

So...

I decided to start a new journey. Next year will be another milestone. So i will be doing whatever needs to be done for myself. Even though I traveled this month a little. i still have to travel more and have more fun.

Aka the guard has changed

Poetic Thoughts: Will There Be?

Will There Be?

Love and passion from a heart

That is not deceased

Will there be

A meaningful connection

That has that needed strong

Craving

Will there be

Reversion to monogamy

Or the complete disassociation of

The fairy tale ending of

Relationship meanings

Will there be

Anyone left in the end standing

Or will destiny give the great reveal

Behind the veiled curtain

The One Man Team

Will there be

My cold and consumption

Of life and soul’s being

My funeral pyre

Smoldering

Will there be

An answer to the outcomes

The paths that I have

Predicted and seen

That will be more than what has been

Opened to me

Will there be

Anything quantifiably left

Of me

Or

Will I merely accept

The nature and destination

Of my Beast

From the chocolatezeus collection  6/18/16  ©

I Don't Negotiate With Terrorists

No, I am not in a terrorist standoff. I would be on the news for excessive force.

This is about D/s and submissives.

Each person has their individual traits, personalities, backgrounds and things of importance. But the point of the TPE is the Total Power Exchange. Now that doesn't mean that everything is given up or that almost everything is given up by a submissive. But it does mean Power Exchange.

As I have seen there is this need for subs to fight against the D in the D/s. The use of words like autonomy, fairness etc.

I look at the person and what I know about them and formulate a plan to allow them to grow personally and as a submissive. The personal part is the basis for everything anyway. But when one doesn't want to change, grow or be in a TPE then none of this is relevant.

Negotiations are at the beginning of the process. Where they establish all of their rules, hard limits etc. It is NOT after the negotiation!

The need to fight for control constantly is high in most apparently. Even though they claim and want to be submissive. Making a need for either a tug of war or a dismissal.

I lead by establishing an outlook on those things that need to be achieved individually. That tailor made way is the most effective way to create a good foundation and journey. I am not a hard ass with no give. Nor am I some push over. I float somewhere in the middle most of the time until an adjustment has to occur.

But they want to pout, attempt to make demands and do what they can to get their way.

Well

I DON'T NEGOTIATE WITH TERRORISTS!!