Laughter Was the Case That They Gave Me

I sat up here ctfu and lmao tonight with shortcakes. I still can't believe we have known each other that long

It is always good to be able to laugh and be yourself with someoen without them getting into a defensive, offensive or upset posture because you say whatever or act silly.

That's right I love to laugh, be silly and have a good time. It is refreshing. I do it often at the shop in a way but when I can truly let it all loose then, watch out now!

So, we were laughing about how people react to us and our ways. The times when we have been out together and dealing with the thieving monkey bitch. Or me being passed off on shortcakes by her. lol

Over 10 years of shenanigans as she calls them and all the stuff that she does. From the tutus to dressing up as the queen of hearts and this years tweedle dee and tweedle dum lmao

The prescription needed was laughter and I definitely got it.

Tuesday Rants and Ravings

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I am about to rant.

So I am reading they want Captain America to be gay. What the fuck! That is some utter bullshit. It is enough that they have fucked up things already plenty of times in movies. Hell, the Ancient One in Dr Strange the movie is a female. Damn! Can't we have anything without these fuckers whining about that needs to be changed?  Call me what you want. This is just more bullshit.

I don't understand why would you let people use you when you said that you are tired of it and don't want to be bothered. It is simple STOP IT!

The fda fucking with cigars is still really pissing me off. They do not even have finances or staffing to do all of this mess they said has to happen now. And they have nothing to do with tobacco.

And this obamacare crap has to be the most worst thing ever. I mean damn you have to re apply every year and it only drove the costs for everything up over 200 percent. So in other words the insurance companies and pharmaceutical companies just made more money.

I think that is enough for now.
See, short and sweet. lol

The Subject of Time

Time moves on regardless of what we want it to do. But it doesn't change things in relationships.

I always see the comments about I don't have time for them. Or we are so busy that we can't make time.

Well...

Make Some Damn Time!!!

People always use this punk ass excuse. If someone has meaning to you then you make the effort and TIME to make things happen to keep it. If not then you never gave a fuck anyway.

I hear the conversations all the time every week about how they don't have time for this or that. But, they won't sacrifice a single thing to make those things that need to happen, Happen. So the bottom line is that you don't want to do it and you have come up with an excuse.

Even I have heard about how females couldn't be with me because I enjoy marathon sex sessions. See, the problem is that they have no clue. Do I love marathon sex sessions? The answer is Hell Yes!! Do I understand that life doesn't allow for that all the time? Yes, I do. But I make the effort tired, weary or whatever to please, cater and enjoy who I am with and care about. There were plenty of times I was horny as hell and knew that my wife was fatigued and it would be best not to have sex. But that is because I knew she wouldn't say no. Because we wouldn't say no to each other about things unless it was absurd or impossible. But that was me taking in consideration who I cared about. Most will not get anywhere near that point.

So if you actually care, want to be with and love someone then make the efforts necessary to have them!!

Time will never stop moving. But you can stop using it as an excuse for your lack of intestinal fortitude.

My Affirmation of Wants and Needs

When it comes to people, relations and relationships there is a difference between wants and needs. But they both apply.

Wants are my desires. The things that I seek to enjoy or incorporate into my life.

Definition:

want

wänt,wônt/

verb

1. 1.

   have a desire to possess or do (something); wish for.

I want future enjoyment, pleasure, success and someone that is the right one to do it all with me and more.

Needs are those requirements that I cannot deviate from. Like trust, understanding, acceptance, dedication and adaptability.

Definition:

need

nēd/

verb

1. 1.

   require (something) because it is essential or very important.

See...

I have no problem in needing and wanting a woman. Those things that strengthen and give a different meaning to life. Needing the woman that can love, understand, accept and weather the storms with me is both a need and a want.  When I say I need you. Then it means I need you in the ways that you compliment, perform, comfort and provide for me.  Those things that I just want are not as important since they are not at the need or need and want level.

People are so scared of their vulnerability issues that they fight when the want and need for someone else appears. Society tells them that they shouldn't ever need or feel that way. That they are less than if that happens. That is so far from the truth. You are stronger when you claim and control these things and vulnerability.

Well...

At least I know, accept and understand my wants and needs. 

The Hyphy Movement Recap Sunday

I am over here bobbing my head to some hyphy music and decided to write the rap up.

The week has been long. But it seems that at least I have gotten some more strength now and not completely delirious still. Still don't know what the deal is or was. But the machine has to keep rolling.

There has been a new installation in better management and imprisonment of emotions and feelings. *soul clap* I had an escape from the prison that I am and I can't allow that to happen to all the things I keep on life sentences internally. So, this led to settling even more into the way things are going and limiting the future to only those things that are completely pertinent to me.

Went over to the lawyers house. (I didn't even get harasses by the white lady neighborhood watch this time either...lol)  And I had to stop by this new place called Donut Inn and check them out since we had been talking about boston creme donuts. Damn, they were good. I am still laughing at him eating his three boston cremes with a knife and fork. But hey he comes from money in the expensive part of Boston. lol But we did watch an actually good movie as we smoked cigars called All The Way. It was a movie about the president Lindon Johnson and him becoming president when jfk was assasinated. It touched on his interaction with Martin Luther King and the civil rights movement as well as some of Hoovers activities. The guy that plays Falcon in the Avengers movies was MLK. If you haven't watched it I suggeat it. A good look into presidency, personalities politics and history.

i need to work on the books but with training and everything I have been off. But I do think I am going to write some tonight since some ideas popped in my head today. Plus I need to finish that one piece I never got done as well from the other week.

I am still up in the air about activities for June. I need to fix that this week. But I was waiting to see what would happen. I guess I got my answer.

Still enjoying the house to myself. Got bike week this week in myrtle beach. So asses will be in the air on bikes. Still smdh that the comic book convention is going on down there this weekend with all that damn traffic. As much as I love looking at ass on bikes I don't know about doing that traffic again. But damn I want to hit the comic convention.  Oh, and the cousin's clubs are coming down so we will be eating and drinking good thursday.

And of course my Apocalypse comes to the big screen thursday so I will be seeing that. I am hoping they don't fuck it up too bad. But that is a wish sandwich.

I saw some nice trips to take. I am thinking it is time to roll out of country again. Damn, I want to go to another psych conference. red got me hooked to enjoying the psychologists. Hell, I love psychology so it is interesting to me.

well...it is time to let the ink spill

Commander of My Ships

No, I am not talking about my fleet of battlestars or battleships.  This is about relations, relationships and situationshiprs or whatever else others are calling them these days.

The plain and simple of the matter is either you fit in my grand scheme or you don't. I am not green peace or any other tree hugging organization that is looking at changing you into fitting in with me.

As in conversations that have happened recently there has been the subject of me changing my principles, thoughts and outlook. And being open and friendly and all that mess.

Here are my answers.

If I am interested in you to date, marry, have a relationship or the like then I am not looking for a friend. And if we end then you will not be my friend. You can think I am your friend all that you want but I will not be personal or give out my information to you. I know it goes against everyone's policy of I need to be friends with who I am with and we can be friends afterwards. No thanks!

I accept you as the person that you are/ Selfish, unfeeling, emotional etc. There will not be at any time a chance for you to change who I am fundamentally. Trying to do so will result in your failure and ex communication.

You may think that you know me. You do not. Only one person still alive can say that they know me and she is the last castle in the world.

You may be reminded of your past boyfriends and everything. I am not them regardless. Even when you try to get everything to fit. I will still be simply myself.

I know there was a sliver of hope in finding what I wanted in one chick. I came to my senses and put that back in the crypt where it belongs.

Just know that I will love, care, give attention according to your station and actions.

*Dropping a bomb on this like it was Pear Harbor and I am out*

From Crunk Music to R&B Type of Morning

I am sitting here working and listening to Aaron Hall's "The Truth" album. my first ballad, r&b album I actually liked fully and could deal with. Because we know I don't do that stuff unless a female I am with is involved.  it summed up a lot of things with each song. Even now it holds some meanings still. Love, sex and life through words and music in applicable situations.

the songs:

• Do Anything - I would do anything for you to help, support, comfort and more.
• Open up - Be yourself, let it all out, be vulnerable to me. I got you.
• Get a little Freaky - Be my whore, slut, cunt and more. All the freaky things let us do and more.
• Pick Up the Phone - Communicate with me. Maintain what we have and show that you are interested
• Until I Found You - When I met you i found what I wanted and needed. The things that comfort, make me happy and make life better
• Don't Be Afraid - Through the good and the bad I will be here for you. There is nothing like you. Don't be scared to just be and for us to be together
• Let's Make Love - I want to feel that intimacy that only you and me can have together. Strokes, licks where I can see your soul through your eyes glazed in ecstasy.
• When You Need Me - I will be there for you no matter what as much as I possibly can
• I Miss You - When I am away from you I miss and want you. Even when I don't express or show it. 
• Until the End of Time - That is where we are going and can be found

Enough with the musical, mushy shit.

It has been another trying week. There have been some interesting positive things. There have been a lot of negative ones. And things that only make me think some more. (like I need that)

I definitely got Ru on my mind and sending prayers to her. 

Still shaking my fucking head at that call the week before. I am still like WTF.

Eye opening episode in understanding that I cannot support, be there for anyone that is not open to that happening. As well as my endoskeleton needs a tune up and some restructuring so there are no more lapses, escapes or mishaps.

There was a pleasant surprise of expression that I never ever would have expected. It made a rough day better and made me smile inside.

Black Bike Week is next week and as much as I like going to see ass, titties and great bikes. I don't want to be bothered with the traffic. But then I do want to go to the comic con they got going on there. And of all weekends it would have to be this one. So we will see what happens with that. Plus I will hang out with the cousins and their clubs at Aunties since she is cooking a big thing for them once again. But for the last time she said.

I am waiting to see how things pan out and stabilize. I need to get out of here and go somewhere soon. Preferably with carnal and inflicting pain activities. But at this point who knows. i might even brave the heat and head to hot ass texas to spend time with my Ru. 

Hell, my month is about a week and my schedule is way the hell off. So I am a bit pissed about that. 

on that note I am going to look at these pics of HQ while listening to the appropriate song "Hott in Heere"

nuff said

Poetry in Motion: Moments

Moments

There are

Moments

Where I can’t see the forest for the trees

Because the napalm is burning

Their flames licking my feet

There are

Moments

I want to feel

Give freedom to

Emotions

Essence and soul stirrings

There are

Moments

When rage

Cages me within it’s haze

Grasped

There are

Moments

Where just one mere word

Sexy pics

Kind acts

Calms the raging Beast

Making life livable

Again

There are

Moments

Where everything fits

Joined intricately together

My life becomes

Balanced and better

There are

Moments

When the past meets the present

Battling for

Hypothesis and analysis

Challenge

There are

Moments

Where I can

Smile and laugh

Be vulnerable, happy and loving

Delve deeply into my

Sadistic horniness

With utter abandoned

Glee

There

There are

These

Moments

Where

Me and those things

Just be

From the chocolatezeus collection   5/20/16  ©

Today's Poetic Moment: I Am Not Your Daddy

I Am Not Your Daddy

There is nothing left

That pertains to this moniker

Position vacated

The moment

The disconnect occurred

Realization became

Apparently

Love, emotions, feelings

They were involved

Now the remains of

Cannibalized aftermath

There is no

Ill intent

Merely an experience

Left in the annuals of

Time and experiments

Things change

Life happens

Regardless

I am not

Your

Daddy

Anymore

From the chocolatezeus collection  5/19/16  ©

Part of the Basics

So this will be a look into one of the basics of myself.

The subject matter is...

Trust, Connection and Expressed Feeling

I am one that doesn't give these things out without some serious thought, reflection and proven worthiness.

I love, care and connect deeply with who I choose. But when those things are not wanted, reciprocated or taken for granted then I will remove those things and excommunicate.

My feelings may be strong but so is the opposite side of the equation. And this last year and especially lately I see that I have  to stick with pure apathy.

I accept individuals as they are. Their fucked up, mentally disturbed, weird and psychotic selves. But I give them a chance since they start off with a blank slate. But if you want to write bullshit on that slate then that is your choice.

Oh well...

And then there was ONE!!

when You Use the Light Switch

Relations are about connection.

Wben there is not connection then there is nothing that I care or concern about when it comes to those involved.

When you tell me that you are no longer connected to me, then I will adjust things accordingly. I will make sure that you are just like the other humans.

Disconnection means I really don't care unless it involves me.

Well damn Ru. It isn't even the end of summer yet. lmao

I totally understand why I only express myself and deal with Ru. I can be myself, get angry and make mistakes and things will be alright.

Oh well it's hard out here for a fucking asshole!!

Right Now...

WWE's natalya in that cat suit was just wrong. I want to fuck her little brains out. The new dana chick looks like she got a decent body on her. And stephanie mcmahon I want to fuck her and break her down completely.

With all the shit going on lately. I seriously need my FIX.

I need a fuckfest. Where she cums so much that she needs ivs.

Inflict so much pain that that head forensic scientist i used to fuck here is like "what the fuck."

Luagh, talk and repeat the fuckfest and havoc pain expedition until I am sated.

Yeah I need one that will satisfy all of that and not try to displace or tell me I can get that by joining a bunch of folks together. I don't want the fake voltron. I need my FIX!

The engines are blown and the fuel inside of me is burning brighter than the sun. We are past the point of rational thinking and actions.

Fuck, fuck, fuck where is Ru Ru when I need her. At least it would take my mind off this shit from listening to her adventures.

I am going to have to continue drinking and smoking instead.

Fuck it.

*atomizing the mic*

I Am What I Am

I am about to run it down for you.

Basically I am just me. The moody, mean, passionate, steadfast Dominant man.

I am singular in purpose. I stick with what I think and feel. Other's ideologies remain subservant to mine. I do incorporate things.

I am simple if you know me with complex living and thinking.

My love and feelings are there only during the situations and people that warrant it.  So, everyone and anyone are not going to get anything but distance from me. I don't spread love and cheer to the humans. That is not my department.

Support is my nature. Unless and if you turn your back on me and take it for granted then that support will be you falling down a cliff.

What I am not...

I am not your wait until you get ready, fall back plan.

That be nice to everyone so they can see you as something comfortable for them.

The do it your way man does not reside here.

The change me type of man. If you are looking to change me you already failed.

Nor am I the give you everything so you can do absolutely nothing type of man.


In closing...

I am loving, caring, funny and protective of the very few I actually allow in any of my circles. If someone ever could enter my inner circle they can have my heart. If a super anomaly happened and a woman actually met the standards to be in the inner sanctum, then she is the Queen!

It is not hard to ask me things. Just don't expect the answer that you want me to give to happen. But don't be scared and ask.

I am simply a Dominant man that lives life the way he sees fit and plans.

You know what to do!


*mic drop*