This is what the males and females feel dealing with lil red. I had to chuckle as I listened and looked at the lyrics and it fit superbly. Even had the red dress and all.
The Black Widow
lmao
Friday, April 08, 2016
Poetry Button Up: It's Time or Battle
Button Up It’s Time for Battle
The metal thud
Followed by the
mechanical clicks
Locked in
Now I am locked and
loaded
Protected from
Emotions and feelings
The boom, boom, boom
Of heavy duty 300mm
barrel
The nonstop sounds of
the machine guns
My heart is solid
So loving
Yet encased in
vibranium
No how
No way
You will get me with
Another end run on me
I am Ashford and Simpson’s
Solid
Solid as a
Frozen, petrified, asteroid
planetary rock
No more feelings
Is what I got
Pockets full of
Empty emotional content
As the battle rages
The memories of my
heart
Available in triage
Steels me for one
more eternity
I see
Understand and feel
Love
Heart
Soul
Rolling over dead
Hearts and souls
Crushed beneath me
My grin and smile
glows
I can’t stop
Won’t stop
Until I have
destroyed all enemies
And love and my heart
Can rejoice freely
Free to be the loving
entity
Free to once again be
a
Super Nova
Instead
I just battle on
From the
chocolatezeus collection 4/8/16 ©
Thursday, April 07, 2016
A Look at the Decisions
I took a hard look at the decisions today concerning human interaction. I got a nice reminder today of making sure to play the long and short game of this on going battle.
My prediction was true and correct. Another mistake on top of the mistakes was made. And I capitulated in it's creation unfortunately.
I allowed something to escape from my internal prison again. And of course there will be even more prices from this to be paid.
Lessons of realized ignorant stupidity.
Yeah, you got me.
Time to regroup, dig deep and bring out the scorched earth reality.
Thank again for another reminder in reality. And why I am and have to be more of who and what I am.
My prediction was true and correct. Another mistake on top of the mistakes was made. And I capitulated in it's creation unfortunately.
I allowed something to escape from my internal prison again. And of course there will be even more prices from this to be paid.
Lessons of realized ignorant stupidity.
Yeah, you got me.
Time to regroup, dig deep and bring out the scorched earth reality.
Thank again for another reminder in reality. And why I am and have to be more of who and what I am.
Tuesday, April 05, 2016
Poetic Expression: Intimate a Peril
This idea and concept popped in my head with the billions of other things as usual. and I was actually able to get this one out of my head in time before it died under the information rubble. I liked the thought when it came up but I am not sure if it came out as well as I felt it should.
Intimate a Peril
In your bra and
panties
Your camisole and
baby doll
Even your g string
and
Thong, tha thong,
thong thong
You have your armor
fully on
Buttressed in more
than a
Shaper or corset
You wear your Bismarck
style
Fortress always
From dusk past dawn
As you sing and hear
Me ‘Shell Ndegéocello
and India Arie
Sing about hair and
being yourself naturally
The prominence in the
word and meaning of
Natural and naturally
Evade you craftily
No evasion
Just your Dale Earnhardt
impersonation
Of the fast and
furious
Leaving behind
Invulnerability
Replaced with
Things that are
fleeting
You continue to drive
in circles
Clamped to this dream
Know me
Be with me
Stay away
Get away from me
The see saw moods
swing
As intimacy lies on
the whims
Of this Sybil style
Creatine mix
Tailor made
Blueprint and mold
One of a kind
Your wear it well
Inability
Fear of vulnerability
Long distance feeling
This intimate a peril
Sells so well
It is always coming
off the shelves
From the
chocolatezeus collection 4/5/16 ©
Monday, April 04, 2016
I Understand that You Have No Clue
Here it is Monday the 4th. A weekend that definitely held keys, turning points, surprises and culminations.
I am thankful for those that showed interest, sought to help and support me and those that did nothing at all concerning the anniversary of my wife's death.
It is understandable that people were concerned that I would be emotional and feeling things. That is what they do. For myself I was fine. It was a time for me to remember the good times and understand what the deal is right now. And that is what I did.
Friday was the departure of Monroe from the cigar shop so that held some significance. It was a bartender leaving Cheers.
Saturday was the changes in things with lil red, little one and the flower child. Things were said and I made my decisions as usual. I know the obvious results and reasons for the external things now. The differences between relationship, relation, dynamic and D/s relation were defined fully.
Yesterday was the day of drinking and more drinking and some eating. Oh and counseling and consoling on top of that. lol
Rick, Rich and Myra said I didn't need to be home yesterday because of the anniversary. But as I explained I was fine. But, they insisted. And I decided to go and try Rick's favorite restaraunt RX. The shrimp and grits were good. Which is rather shocking. Most of the time it isn't good. But it was very well balanced. So just like Rick has always bragged it was good. That and my bourbon and ginger beer drink and whatever else was in it was really good. So from there we head to Rick and his wife's house for more drinks and cigars and music out on the balcony.
But the day didn't stop there. Rich and I headed to Myra's for more drinking and smoking. And here is where they felt that I should be crying with them about things. Rich losing his wife and everything. Myra and everything that has been going on with her. I had no need to cry or be sad or anything else. So I merely talked to them and supported them as I kept drinking and smoking.
So, people may think that I was feeling this or that. Or holding things in. I am fine. I have been fine for a long time. I am proud and happy to have met, married, loved and been loved by a woman. lol she spoiled me into the idea that women like her were out there. With her stankin ass!! lol
There will be some more things said and some poetry expressed here and in other places. But I am going to drink this drink and eat some lunch.
until then.
Just be You!
I am thankful for those that showed interest, sought to help and support me and those that did nothing at all concerning the anniversary of my wife's death.
It is understandable that people were concerned that I would be emotional and feeling things. That is what they do. For myself I was fine. It was a time for me to remember the good times and understand what the deal is right now. And that is what I did.
Friday was the departure of Monroe from the cigar shop so that held some significance. It was a bartender leaving Cheers.
Saturday was the changes in things with lil red, little one and the flower child. Things were said and I made my decisions as usual. I know the obvious results and reasons for the external things now. The differences between relationship, relation, dynamic and D/s relation were defined fully.
Yesterday was the day of drinking and more drinking and some eating. Oh and counseling and consoling on top of that. lol
Rick, Rich and Myra said I didn't need to be home yesterday because of the anniversary. But as I explained I was fine. But, they insisted. And I decided to go and try Rick's favorite restaraunt RX. The shrimp and grits were good. Which is rather shocking. Most of the time it isn't good. But it was very well balanced. So just like Rick has always bragged it was good. That and my bourbon and ginger beer drink and whatever else was in it was really good. So from there we head to Rick and his wife's house for more drinks and cigars and music out on the balcony.
But the day didn't stop there. Rich and I headed to Myra's for more drinking and smoking. And here is where they felt that I should be crying with them about things. Rich losing his wife and everything. Myra and everything that has been going on with her. I had no need to cry or be sad or anything else. So I merely talked to them and supported them as I kept drinking and smoking.
So, people may think that I was feeling this or that. Or holding things in. I am fine. I have been fine for a long time. I am proud and happy to have met, married, loved and been loved by a woman. lol she spoiled me into the idea that women like her were out there. With her stankin ass!! lol
There will be some more things said and some poetry expressed here and in other places. But I am going to drink this drink and eat some lunch.
until then.
Just be You!
Sunday, April 03, 2016
The Bell Tolls in Memory of My Chocolate Doll
It was about this time on this night five years ago I was trying to revive my wife there on the floor next to our bed in our apartment. The time where the paramedics worked on her for an hour.
I sat in the living room stunned and quiet. So deep in shock that I looked at myself from the outside and the inside at the same time. Observing.
I can still laugh to this day about how she died. In the only way fitted for the one with the name Superwoman. She had two massive orgasms which caused her to die. Going and cumming at the same time. That was the way of my wife. The oxymoron.
There were some rough, crushing days of tears, pain and disbelief.
After a day of work, ice cream, burgers and fries and great dick riding sex. Never would have thought my wife would end up dead.
I am not crying right now. I miss when things made sense. When I had that miraculous solution to everything in life and nothing could change that.
I had waited and found the answer after a long battle and struggle. And to have it taken from me in a mere slow motion moment. Yeah, rather devastating.
And the aftermath! I was ruined for eternity with such a good thing apparently. I use to seek that same powerful woman to be with. Then I realized the reality.
Lightning had already struck. My miracle used up.
But hey Chocolate Doll. As you play guardian angel and haunting diety at times. Just as you told me. I wouldn't take back a moment of time spent with you. All the things that showed womanhood, marriage, love and relationship were more than possibilities.
I miss you baby. and I always will
My Chocolate Doll
I sat in the living room stunned and quiet. So deep in shock that I looked at myself from the outside and the inside at the same time. Observing.
I can still laugh to this day about how she died. In the only way fitted for the one with the name Superwoman. She had two massive orgasms which caused her to die. Going and cumming at the same time. That was the way of my wife. The oxymoron.
There were some rough, crushing days of tears, pain and disbelief.
After a day of work, ice cream, burgers and fries and great dick riding sex. Never would have thought my wife would end up dead.
I am not crying right now. I miss when things made sense. When I had that miraculous solution to everything in life and nothing could change that.
I had waited and found the answer after a long battle and struggle. And to have it taken from me in a mere slow motion moment. Yeah, rather devastating.
And the aftermath! I was ruined for eternity with such a good thing apparently. I use to seek that same powerful woman to be with. Then I realized the reality.
Lightning had already struck. My miracle used up.
But hey Chocolate Doll. As you play guardian angel and haunting diety at times. Just as you told me. I wouldn't take back a moment of time spent with you. All the things that showed womanhood, marriage, love and relationship were more than possibilities.
I miss you baby. and I always will
My Chocolate Doll
Saturday, April 02, 2016
Poetic Memories: Cecidit in Memoris
Cecidit in Memoris
Two tears flow
Like the river Styx
As the stygian
witches
Upon the shore
Wax poetic and sing
Hymns of eternity’s
existence
She stands as my
guardian angel
While haunting in
pure devilment
Her promise before
death
Kept
The floods of
memories
That not even Noah
can save me
From drowning in at
times
Spill inexplicably
Through it all
I know what is lost
to me
The grail that I had
previously
My journey since
A question mark upon
Existing
Still I hold true to
What I promised
before that fateful day
To continue on this
journey
To live life fully
Just to be
Sitting upon this
burning throne
Laced with damnating mercury
Soullessly I peer
into the deep
Looking for the
answers to
Manifest destiny
All I can say is that
Would have
Should have
Could have been
The battles rage
The carnage never
ends
As I remain
One of the last of
the two
Titans
From the
chocolatezeus collection 4/2/16 ©
Cascading in an Emotionless Void
I am tickled that basically my emotions have become non existent. .Save for one person and one family member it is kind of like those rooms are dark and there are only two rooms with lights on in the house.
Rick, Myra and Rich are trying to get me to go to RX with them tomorrow. Since it is the 5th anniversary of my wife dying. And I feel it. I am not crippled by it or anything. I am not crying and weeping all over the place. I am reflective and my tolerance meter is on hairline infraction currently. But hey that is most of the time anyway with humans so that doesn't count.
I need to fuck the whole day to celebrate the anniversary but as usual that is not an option tomorrow. No marathon fucking or pain inflicting session.
Tomorrow will be a day to reflect, smoke, drink and eat.
oh, and avoid any contact with the parental units
Rick, Myra and Rich are trying to get me to go to RX with them tomorrow. Since it is the 5th anniversary of my wife dying. And I feel it. I am not crippled by it or anything. I am not crying and weeping all over the place. I am reflective and my tolerance meter is on hairline infraction currently. But hey that is most of the time anyway with humans so that doesn't count.
I need to fuck the whole day to celebrate the anniversary but as usual that is not an option tomorrow. No marathon fucking or pain inflicting session.
Tomorrow will be a day to reflect, smoke, drink and eat.
oh, and avoid any contact with the parental units
Friday, April 01, 2016
The Beginning of an Emotional Weekend
It is strange. How life really connects the dots some times.
I have been going to my cigar shop for about 3 years now. And if you read any posts that I have mentioned the cigar shop life. It is like the show Cheers (look it up if you are too young to remember lol.)
So today is Monroe's last day at the shop. He is elderly and he has been a mainstay working at the shop for a long time. Well before I ever showed up in Wilmington. And he doesn't want to go but his health is not allowing him to continue working. That last fall where I had to help him get up was the nail in the coffin unfortunately. I helped them decorate a bit yesterday at the shop in preparation. It is just weird that it is happening after laughing and talking to Monroe about customers, wackadoodles, Myra's crazy episodes and more. And after today that is done.
Add to that the anniversary is Sunday. And for whatever reason I am feeling it. Things are just impacting me and I have to armor up but I don't feel like it. For whatever reason it has hit home this time more than it has in 3 years of the last 5 years.
Today is a cloudy cascade of memories and emotions.
I have been going to my cigar shop for about 3 years now. And if you read any posts that I have mentioned the cigar shop life. It is like the show Cheers (look it up if you are too young to remember lol.)
So today is Monroe's last day at the shop. He is elderly and he has been a mainstay working at the shop for a long time. Well before I ever showed up in Wilmington. And he doesn't want to go but his health is not allowing him to continue working. That last fall where I had to help him get up was the nail in the coffin unfortunately. I helped them decorate a bit yesterday at the shop in preparation. It is just weird that it is happening after laughing and talking to Monroe about customers, wackadoodles, Myra's crazy episodes and more. And after today that is done.
Add to that the anniversary is Sunday. And for whatever reason I am feeling it. Things are just impacting me and I have to armor up but I don't feel like it. For whatever reason it has hit home this time more than it has in 3 years of the last 5 years.
Today is a cloudy cascade of memories and emotions.
Wednesday, March 30, 2016
Another Day in Life Unscripted
It has been some rough times lately. And some of them are still going on. But, hey things are what they are.
Laughter with Charlie the old school biker were on deck as usual. Always entertaining and exhilerating to sit up there and converse. That silent understanding of bad men makes it a stellar adventure.
My sadistic meter has gone beyond it's limit so when I can finally release it then I feel sorry for the subject. Nah, I don't feel sorry I am going to be ecstatic. I can't for that day. But I will have to.
I have been getting some eye candy and needed activities which definitely makes me happier and I get some satisfaction. I love the visual, mental and carnal activities. Feed me and things will be good and I will keep interest. So yaayy me!
My Ru is fine after her surgery. Plans have been interrupted and redone. I am glad about that.
Rich and Myra are doing better. They need it with everything they have been going on.
So things are going on and I am still around as the Undead Titan.
Hope you are doing well and seizing life.
I will continue the crazy adventures and my outlook on life the next time.
Till then enjoy.
Laughter with Charlie the old school biker were on deck as usual. Always entertaining and exhilerating to sit up there and converse. That silent understanding of bad men makes it a stellar adventure.
My sadistic meter has gone beyond it's limit so when I can finally release it then I feel sorry for the subject. Nah, I don't feel sorry I am going to be ecstatic. I can't for that day. But I will have to.
I have been getting some eye candy and needed activities which definitely makes me happier and I get some satisfaction. I love the visual, mental and carnal activities. Feed me and things will be good and I will keep interest. So yaayy me!
My Ru is fine after her surgery. Plans have been interrupted and redone. I am glad about that.
Rich and Myra are doing better. They need it with everything they have been going on.
So things are going on and I am still around as the Undead Titan.
Hope you are doing well and seizing life.
I will continue the crazy adventures and my outlook on life the next time.
Till then enjoy.
Sunday, March 27, 2016
Poetic Expression: Defectum Animi
Defectum Animi
Closed casket
No eulogy
Only the aftermath of
what was
Or was it ever you
ask yourself
The lightsaber that
pierced your heart in love
Now the coldness of
space in each of your atoms
The effect
You were scared of
happening
The moment where memories
fade
And your relevance dissipates
Fate
Action and inaction
Reaction
Led to this
But it is what is
best for business
What you expect and
need
To feel wanted and
accepted
So I gift you
This nocturnal side
of me
Where we believe the
truth of
Excommunication
To be self evident
The purest love and
passion
Now the iceberg that
sunk the
Titanic
My heart remains
Honored and reverent
Only to the
importance of my
Reverence
So I gift you this
Disconnect
This turned off
Switch
The coldness of the Arctic
Circle
Cascading in orbit
The gift of
The release from
My emotional
connection
From the
chocolatezeus collection 3/27/16 ©
Poetic Eroticism: Coiled to Strike
Coiled to Strike
I can no longer
remember
The sound of each
impact upon your flesh
The contortion and
twist of each
Plain infliction
I don’t remember you
With each moment
passed
The funeral pyre
grows higher
And your sacrifice to
me
A deeper offering in
Pain, torture and
submission
I don’t remember you
Sting and thud of
floggers
The brutality of
bamboo and cane
Slaps, cracks and
thunder claps
As I choke even your
last breath
Among tittie and
nipple
Twists, pulls and
slaps
I don’t remember you
Time for you to speak
For me to etch this
suffering
Upon you and your
flesh
My easel and canvas
I don’t remember you
Until your pain comes
from the well of insanity
As I relish in each whelp,
bruise and scar made
I fist you so deeply
Your cells scream my
name
You will remember me
And remember the
penalty you have to pay
For making me wait
From the
chocolatezeus collection 3/27/16 ©
Thursday, March 24, 2016
They Call Me...RETURN TO SENDER
I had a damn time laughing at Ru last night. We discussed things going on and issues and our positions. And then we talked about my adventures together back in Houston. And then I realized it translated to another relation I had.
Why do they call me Return to Sender?
Well, it is because females have a hard tine dealing with me. And they tend to fight, take flight or try to give me off to someone. lol And giving me off to someone is where this conversation was at.
Ru and I met through me dating the retarded monkey bitch in houston. When me and the bitch were swinging I met Ru. And when the monkey bitch started acting crazy and shady she started putting me off on Ru. Telling her to take me with her or asking her to come get me. I guess she thought she was doing something to me. Silly monkey bitch, your tricks are for idiots! Ru and I became close and had a great time.
Ru and I had such a great time that we became close. That is why we are Road Warriors now. Best example of this was when the retarded monkey bitch had Ru come get me so she could violate her rules. And Ru and I hit the swing party and had a damn good time. And that night ran into the next day. Where we ended up partying at people's house until late that day. I didn't come back until that sunday evening. And the retarded monkey bitch was in her feelings and wondering where we had been. lmao
But let me drop another example.
When I was dating the thieving monkey bitch she got in her attitude and would send me off to hang out with shortcakes. Putting me off on her. Only to manufacture a wonderful relationship between shortcakes and I. Plenty of adventures and great times.
So...
These two showed that they needed to give me to someone else so they can have a break, do whatever and all that. lol As Ru said, I would get dropped off to other females with a nice red bow around my neck. lol
Yeah, that;s my Ruthie!
And yes females really do have them issues with me and be ready to send me off and then react crazy afterwards.
So enjoy your night and entertainment. lol
Why do they call me Return to Sender?
Well, it is because females have a hard tine dealing with me. And they tend to fight, take flight or try to give me off to someone. lol And giving me off to someone is where this conversation was at.
Ru and I met through me dating the retarded monkey bitch in houston. When me and the bitch were swinging I met Ru. And when the monkey bitch started acting crazy and shady she started putting me off on Ru. Telling her to take me with her or asking her to come get me. I guess she thought she was doing something to me. Silly monkey bitch, your tricks are for idiots! Ru and I became close and had a great time.
Ru and I had such a great time that we became close. That is why we are Road Warriors now. Best example of this was when the retarded monkey bitch had Ru come get me so she could violate her rules. And Ru and I hit the swing party and had a damn good time. And that night ran into the next day. Where we ended up partying at people's house until late that day. I didn't come back until that sunday evening. And the retarded monkey bitch was in her feelings and wondering where we had been. lmao
But let me drop another example.
When I was dating the thieving monkey bitch she got in her attitude and would send me off to hang out with shortcakes. Putting me off on her. Only to manufacture a wonderful relationship between shortcakes and I. Plenty of adventures and great times.
So...
These two showed that they needed to give me to someone else so they can have a break, do whatever and all that. lol As Ru said, I would get dropped off to other females with a nice red bow around my neck. lol
Yeah, that;s my Ruthie!
And yes females really do have them issues with me and be ready to send me off and then react crazy afterwards.
So enjoy your night and entertainment. lol
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)