Life and times of my Life Unscripted

A number of things have happened over the last six months. Am I still the same Angry Black Man? Yep. But my dealing and outlook has changed.

I can attribute things to Ru, lil red and the experiences.

I have made my first trip to Canada.  Been able toindulge further into my sadistic needs of enjoyment. Enjoyed my first fisting and evolved into even more just me.

Love has changed back to what it was previously with me with the change of available if it is wanted thisbtime. Instead of turned off after inactivity. I still have a tiny bit of a heart, just not that much left.

Relations have been wtf. Life has been a series if unfortunate and weird events. Hell, I date and associate with the weird.  Lol

So I am not feeling much. There isn't that fire, passion and desire like it would have been normally or optimally.  My feelings and heart are not hurt. I am just in the "it is what it is" aspect of existence.

I am looking forward to hopefully being able to enjoy my full sadistic release finally.  It is time to go somewhere to relax, have fun and enjoy. Maybe even relations may grow and be better. As I look at the next stage in my life this year I am ready to move forward even more.

I am here or ok is my standard response. As I wait to see who and what will join me or walk away on this journey I am basically neutral.

And I still need my fucking FIX if you are keeping track. It's been half a year. Maybe I need to just look at the memories and do my Pale Rider reenactment and ride off into the sun.

Well enjoy the beginning of your weekend. Because you cant stay stagnant and let kife walk on by

Mr Wolf Thursday Message

The adventures of Mr Wolf and lil red equal

About why we are so good together. Your crazy matches my crazy. Big time!

courtesy of Wade Wilson

I require the unique to be involved in. The female that can be herself through the storms of life. Thinking and acting outside of the box to stimulate and continue adventure. 

So I need that sexy, lustful, intelligent, witty, stand out type female.

case in point....lil red. I can pick the queen of the weird team for sure. lol

But it is what allows me to have some interest.

Until the next time...chimi  fucking changas!!

Morning Poetry: Another Brick in the Wall

Good morning to you. I hope your are ready for your willy wonka adventure today. So I figured I would drop some poetry at 6 in the morning, policae at my door. fresh addidas sneakers squeaking across the bathroom floor. lol yeah some Ice T early.

enjoy

Another Brick In The Wall

Like a neutron particle accelerator

Two souls collided

Fell

Fallen into a prehistoric tar pit

Unintentional

Unfettered

Uninterested entities

I wasn’t looking for you

You weren’t looking for me

I slapped you directly in the face

Told you what I wanted and saw with you and me

The connection

Unexplained prophesy

And I hate the damn thing

But it has been correct

When it has reared it’s ugly head

As I have felt every

Defensive and offensive projectile

You have hurled at me

From the logical

Weird and emotional

Detached

Each missile fires at me

As I watch the walls rise and fall

Doors open and close

With each mood swing

You don’t understand

How I have already claimed

Without a doubt that

You are for me

An assault on your logic based

Existence at it’s alpha

Beginning

I guess that is why

The wall and distance

Lack of shown interest

Flow like the

Dead Sea

Still I know what

I felt and have seen

That damn connection

Showed me the possible destiny

Still as I look at your wall

Each spackle of mortar and concrete

All I can do is allow

Freedom of mind and will

The manifest destiny

As I continue to get to know bricks

Even more intimately

The fix

The connection

Hasn’t changed

I merely sit here for now

On the

Event Horizon

Prepared

Waiting

For the outcome you choose

Will it be us

Or just you

As Pink Floyd sings

Another Brick in the Wall

From the chocolatezeus collection   2/18/16  ©

Deadpool, Maximum Realization and Semi Chimichangas

So, I finally was ready to see Deadpool on opening night. Thursday at 7 I was in there and I was shocked it was a bit crowded. Man, did I get to laugh and enjoy my damn self.

The movie wasn't some watered down, neutered disney drone bullshit. I was really close to Deadpool in the comic book. The language and outrageous actions and thoughts and words were on point. I have to say ryan reynolds did a good job. This movie was original and is one the best comic book movies ever put on the big screen.

Hell, I was shocked that the numbers blew records for February. I remember talking to bruce at the shop about the movie and him telling me that movies tend to not do well this time of the year and that Deadpool wouldn't get high numbers. Both of us are shocked at this outcome.

on to the next

I have been over thinking and thinking as usual. I sat and realized that I haven't gotten my fix or seen lil red in about 6 months now. This is so unacceptable. Life has been at work and no fucking telling what the hell else.

external outcry

it is so devastating to others that I am this magnificent caveman, that marches upon this separate path that tends to disregard and spit in the face of those that wish to force conformity.  What in the hell am I saying, you ask?  Well, I have been direct about what I want, like and am interested in. And even though people think that I don't give others a chance to be whoever they are and in the role that they are designed for. I do.  This is the same part that allows me to see past the bullshit, posturing, being difficult, defensive and challenging to lay eyes upon what really is there. The part of me that has picked out two people in ,my life and said they are the ONE. And as much as I hated it at first and fought it. I was shown the error of my misplaced denial of that connection. The message is...stop fighting me, the relationship and the feelings. What I want and need is you. END FUCKING MESSAGE!

on to affairs of my stomach and taste buds

Of course after seeing Deadpool I was wanting a chimichanga. lol (you have to have read or heard Deadpool to understand this reference.) But instead went to a place called Flaming Amy's burritos. Ok this was unlike any other restaurant I have been into. stickers and punk rock art, tattoo drawings and everything was everywhere. I had a double bypass burrito which was rather good. Of course they only do chimichangas on Mondays apparently. that sucks

I also tried a sandwich appropriately named the Fat Zeus. It was gyro and cheesesteak with fries, onion rings and vegs on it with taziki sauce on it. It was actually good but needed more taziki sauce. Plus would have been better without the fries on it actually.

Well, I probably will watch Deadpool for the 6th time later on this morning for more laughs. Have a good one. And seize the moments. Because you don't get too many chances in life.

Valentines, Entertainment and Bitter Bitch Syndrome

No excitement, no anticipation, no hatred either. I dont' have anyone for this day and at this point in my life I just don't give a fuck anymore. Even though I love the sentiment, expression and spoiling. I realize how things are with females now. I am good.

Nope, this is not a hate letter to valentine's day or nothing like that. I have had some great and good valentine's days. So I don't have to be jaded about the plight of the world today. lmao

But I do get entertained by the rampant anti valentines, relations and marriage activities that occur on this day. I mean damn it really goes all out! Females mad because they have chosen not to become women and be real. So they are over in the corner spitting their venom.

So the comments, actions and petty shit get's michael jackson "off the wall" type of silly. Over the same thing they detest and don't want anything to do with...real relationships. So it is comical on both ends.

Let me go read some more valentine hate mail so I can laugh some more.

I hope you had a good valentine. Mine was fine. Even though it would have been perfect if a certain someone wanted it to be.

And go see Deadpool! That shit is hilariously funny

Poetic Needs: Just Right

I never would have thought I would like redvelvet. Let  alone need a daily fix of it. 

But oh well!

Ce la vie!!

Just Right

In the darkest night

I stumbled upon

Ultimate dessert

Craving

So sweet

Yet spicy

So enticing

But cold as an ice

Entwined minds

Coincided adult responsibilities of life

Creative minds and lives

Intermingled

Joined by chance

By life

A Master Chef

Delectable delight

She feeds me

With sweet curves

Of chocolate royal delight

As I enjoy the cream

Risen to climax

Dipped in divinity

Willy Wonka’s ultimate

Dessert fix

As she feeds me

Through pain and more pain

My sadist explodes

Like a chocolate molten lava cake

Again

Again

And again

Each bite

Land of the cane

Sound of the flogger

Reigns upon my

Carnivorous rage

For I am left

Like an addict

My hunger rages

This lust cannot

Will not

I don’t want to be

Contained

Just like

Mary J said

You are my sweet thing

And this beast

Must feed

For eternity

From the chocolatezeus collection  2/12/16  ©

Poetic Moment: Beyond the Veil

Beyond the Veil

Standing here

Amid the dust and rubble

Blind to anything in front of me

Searching for answers

An application of destiny

Peering to see

Lonely embers

Hanging on against finality

Us

Our

Distant remnants

Of yellow brick road dreams

A supernova

Transmuted into

Lead lined

Black hole of being

I see

No, saw clearly

The possible outlook

Holy Grail to be achieved

But that was just me

The anomaly in this

Unsolved equation

Heart and soul

Laying upon jagged rocks

As jagged edge sings

What should be

I shouldn’t looked behind the curtain

I wouldn’t have seen what I wanted

Never knew this need

As I ride this dead hurricane

Left in the mundane

Catapulted into

Pristine silence

Connected dots

In an unsolved puzzle

A mix of

Irreverent

Irrelevance

Amid the desired

Context and effect

Left here

Blinking and thinking

Bewildered

As wonderment won’t cease

The distance and silence

Paved the way to my

Clabbored feelings

As a heart is sucked up in

Its own black hole

Silently

Reeling

From the chocolatezeus collection  2/12/16  ©

Balance and Protocols

I am out of balance.

It has been this way for a long time. That balance has gotten better recently since I decided to stick with my old school ways and be Super Captain Caveman, once again.

Causes of unbalance:

• Life...being an adult responsible for things out of your damn control is always something
• Lack of Travel...This always helps me. Even if it is merely for a weekend to hang out with my few people in my circle
• Lack of Sex...This is the most dangerous for the humans. Since I am not getting it on any type of regular basis I am prone to some Death Star level activity
• Sadist needs to be fed...He is really pissed off and angry right now. The cage is already broken.

Balance keeps things moving appropriately through the chaos and calamities. But as is life, just have to deal with things and destroy existence another way. 

Either way my balance will be back into play no matter who has to be removed, excommunicated and everything else.

My protocol experience has shown me that I have to be Super Caveman. Because, if you let a sub get an inch they are in another orbit a moment later. I have to make sure every protocol and rule is slapped in the face from inception. Because if you amend things they want to act like you have turned into Dr Kavorkian. But the lesson has been learned. 

Life is lessons and experiences. Right now I am wondering the meaning if any of the current mess. Oh well, enjoy your time and days.

To quote my favorite, Gen. George S Patton in closing.

"In case of doubt, attack."

Poetry: Welcome to My Church

Welcome to My Church

Come lay upon my alter

Naked unto me

Fully

Mentally

Spiritually

Physically

Nothing hidden

As I hold covenant

Over your

Past

Present

Future

I see inside you

The delicate delicacy

The strength on top and beneath

With that layer of

Submission locked between

I will sacrifice you

To being free

To letting go of all those things

That you cling to and have to do

Automatically

I am not what you have

Previously encountered or seen

I am tailor made to

Exorcise your stubborn resistance

To elevating to what you

Want, need and seek

This knife carves you deep

Leaving marks

Upon your heart and psyche

Twisting your natural

Literal order to things

You struggle

Yet you remain perched

Calling for rebirth and pain

Here with outstretched hands

My knife gleaming

I have shown you the way

The vision that lies at the end

Your sacrifice is all that I need

And destiny

Will be manifested

Here upon this altar

We will be

Take me to church

For the sins are

Denial of destiny

From the chocolatezeus collection  2/8/16  ©

Jammin Old School, Superbowl, Cigars and All

I have been jammin the past days to DJ L3XX mixes. I think he is an old yokota classmate but I am not for sure. But here is an example of why i am dancing around.

Funky Fresh Fridays Vol.01 - DJ L3XX by Deejayl3xx on Mixcloud

So my Panthers are playing today and could win their first super bowl, which would be off the wall. it is going to be crazy either way. And what a great excuse to get the hell out of the house and enjoy myself while the parental units are here! So it is going to be cigars, pizza, wings, football and alcohol tonight.  Lil Jon YEAH!!

The female parental unit's sister still hasn't died. I haven't seen the female parental unit yet since I got back last night. So I am thankful.

I am debating if i should fix some more bbq chicken but then again I am going to be eating out there so I might just snack.

Therapy Normalcy and Totality (I thought this was posted already smh)

It has been a week of productivity amid sickness and the unforeseen.  Sister probably has this virus that is going around. The oarental units called 47 times. (No I mean literally 47 times in one day)

I had some convo with lil red at her comfort level which was cool. Allowed for talking and laughing. A big change from things lately. And I appreciated the effort.

Sprinkled me with some relationship convos in there. About availability and emotional statuses.

So in therapy today it hit home that in the cigar shop there is alwaus something amd someone crazy coming in. Today was the skrawny entity that was dressed goth. The other crazy introduced what we didn't know was a boy to us. His name was benjamin and he was a masquerade vampire. I was like what the hell! So I sat there watching the show as always. So the he asks benjamin what vampire clan he was from? The masquerade? And I look up at monroe and I am ctfu. He is trying to keep a straight face and I have to look at them crazy and put my head down.

the entertainment is priceless!!

PSSITA and salud

This Weeks Recap

So here is the rundown of how it went down for the last 7 days.

I did check out the show Billions, the expanse and something else that I cannot remember right now. I did enjoy Billions and expanse shocked me with how good they were so I have added to the viewing list of programs.

The subjects that were on the discussion block were compatibility, availability and efforts. There were some lively discussions as well as some interesting ones along with conclusions. But in the aftermath I have had to make some more adjustments and decisions.

oh yeah the female parental units older sister is apparently ready to die in the next couple of days. I am not broken up about her dying or if the parental units can't make it. Either way things would better if they didn't come and everything so there is peace.

outside of that just making decisions and handling business as usual.

Poetic Moment Sweet Results of Affect

Sweet Results of Affect

There is nothing left

When promising turns to something else

When the sun no longer shines

And the grind merely

Corrodes your mind

Heart and soul

Cease to exist

Against a backdrop of

What they use to hold

Expressionless

With crimson drops of

Anti coagulated emotions

Leaving a past left

Circumspect

Fleeting

A homage to impossibility

The layer sediments

Unable to settle into something

Corporeal

This dynamic

Unified indifference

Laid to rest

No ceremony or anything left

A look back at

The death of forward progress

Gone

Leaving

Left

Now there is only

Crimson droplets

Melted into stale chocolate

A decadent dessert

Destroyed

Rendered useless

Such a waste

Sorrowfully encased

Non relevance

From the chocolatezeus collection 1/31/16  ©