Something Spoken: Supposed To

Supposed To

be the one you lean on

let go and refuel with

take on obstacles with

justification is eating

storming in

as vision is blurry way off in the distance

check the equation

the answer remains the same

but the other variable

remains in the ghostly fade

smiles and grins

greeted with the riddler

question me this

there is no absolute

dedicated answers

yet the goal stays the same

would have

could have

should have

unification

is the obvious justification

put that is in a

perfect world situation

wonderment

as wonderman

joins the vision

automaton

automation

from the chocolatezeus collection

Preparations, Current timeline and Moments

Excitement led. Fed me even.

Here and now. I look and I see the white noise.

Conflict and thoughts reflect and re-reflect the things that have happened.

Limbo. Yeah that would be a apt description.


Countdown to my first trip to Canada. Toronto even. Glad I am finally satisfying that need to leave the country even if it is just across the border. Still is out side of conus at least.  Time to see what is like in the land of the looney.

Some much has transpired and been revealed. I have watched myself transform back to before I was married with a different twist apparently. Just those things that carried me are now just flatlined I guess.

By product of interaction with people in the last over a week has been I have wrote at least 20 pieces of poetry. Plenty of journal entries have happened as well. lol plenty of the stuff is not for the soft, sensitive people.

I was asked if I was giving someone The Representative. Well, yeah that is what he is here for. There are only two people that don't get the Rep. Basically, it is what the humans need.

I am still continuing to enjoy the Control Book. It really has been helping things.

If you need me then you can find me here in the Fortress of Solitude. Drinking and writing.

Well, better just shoot me a message since you won't be able to find me.

The Miyamoto Musashi Principle

I have read, observed, witnessed and experienced a gamut of things through life, through the last year, through the last month.

My journey has become a solitary one again. I guess a back to basics intensive spec ops program.

As Musashi said you have to master those things that are you. To bend them to your will and understanding. And that is something I allowed to slip away from me for a while.

The journey turned into an attempted caravan with expectations and indentations. Concern, caring and even love for others are parts of the whole. But it is a whole outside of the whole. Something I seriously forgot.

One must be fluid with attack and defense. Showing no intent or application to which is which until it is too late. A principle I forgot, ignored or something. Very, very poor on my part. I gave way to those things that I am and never will be a part.

Chance after chance. I played my parts. I gave the outlook and faith of the anticipating, excited novice monk. Each moment escalating and showing a spotlight on how things were and what things are. The light held back nothing. Illuminating the things I liked, hated and was unseen to me.

The questions of do I still have a heart, love, feelings or any connection with humankind? Yeah in ways I do. But those things are in my ways. Not the desire of humans and society. No matter how much I assimilate, I don't fit and that is not a problem for me. It is simply life for me.

This journey alone is what it has always been. I got my road dawg and that is a welcome comfort. But even with that I have to make this quest happen. I have to climb Mt Fuji again against the hordes of demons and humans.

The fight continues. Refocused and frenzied.

Principle, journey, destiny and purpose

Reign!!!!

The Representative: Good Evening

Well I know you are happy that the weekend has officially begun. Time to relax, Re cooperate and release.

I want to know about all the fun things you will be getting into.

Meanwhile, I am not up to anything but reading and watching Boston Legal and my current shows that come on tonight and the weekend.

I did make a dinner that turned out nice. Vodka chicken with bowtie pasta in vinaigrette and some mixed veggies. See

Well have a good one. There is no time like the current time to have some fun.

Spoken Word: Just Be

Just Be

Why can’t you

Leave behind the traumatic times

Be by my side

Lean on the shoulder I provide

Just be

Let your hair down

Accept I love your body

You stimulate my mind

Just be

My super freaky whore

Woman that I adore

The one whose heart over flows

Just

Stop fighting

Mentally filibustering

Trying to deny

What you feel inside

Just be

Mine

All mine

The woman

The legend

The Omega

By my side

From the chocolatezeus collection  7/30/15  ©

Needs and Wants in Relationships....A serious Rant

This stems from a post I read about relationships don't need to be "need" based. It obviously annoyed me. The female says that "Basing a relationship solely on needs (and the +/- of them being met) is overly shallow and unhealthy in my opinion."

I thought this was simply some more feminist rhetoric until I noticed two males commented in the positive on the post. Then I just realized it was some tree hugging bullshit.

Look here as being we have needs and wants. And I agree most do not know what their needs or wants are or how to differentiate. Lack of self confidence, comfort or whatever the case may be.

It pisses me off that the humans have to remain so fickle that they can't admit there are things that they require and need in relationships. Otherwise the relationship is not real or just terminated. They pretend like everything will work itself out. No wonder there is a lack of marriage, love, companionship and understanding in society.

I am not the one to sit here and downgrade myself because you as a candidate for a relation with me don't fit the parameters. Fuck your feelings and the rest of the humans with you. I don't make personal decisions based on the so called society and their idea of what I should do.

I operate on the principle as a love interest or friend there are certain needs involved. Communication, understanding, acceptance, focus and etc. If these needs are not there then "thanks for playing, your fired." I give them their chance to show me who they are and based on that against what I need for their position there is a judgment and action accordingly. I don't need anyone to be around just to say they are around. Cut the dead, useless weight and push forward.

What is unhealthy is for these individuals to have no back bone or self worth of their own to set a standard and keep it for themselves. Just move along like the amoeba that you are and let the grown folks continue working.

Alright the Representative is coming in the door with your cake, pie, cookies, ice cream and balloons. So don't worry. I am heading back to real life.

Enjoy

Spoken Life: CaveMan Manifesto

I am truly the modern day caveman. It is something that I have embraced and even have been seen as.

See when you love,care and are passionate just as great as you are at disassociating, excommunicating and being the ultimate hell spawn. The humans really don't know how to handle or take you.

Truthfully I don't' worry about the populace. I worry about those interpersonal relationships that have meaning over the rest. Yeah, yeah, yeah that is not politically correct but then again right now this is NOT the Representative!

So something I let the pen say today. Something that has more deep of a meaning to the one that knows me.

CaveMan Manifesto

Silence begets understanding

Such a base individual

Yet, how does he transfer

This presence

All Cro-Magnon

All original man

Graduated  from a caveman club to

A thermal detonator

In a World War Hulk

Man

Altered beast mode

Tactical advantage

Hunt and destroy enemies

Protect what is his

See

I hold you heart and soul

Deep into my soul flow

Buffer you from harm and pain

Mentally and physically

Cultivating

Nurturing

Inciting

Uncaged

Here I am modern day

Passionate and loving

Thoughtful and understanding

Caring and protective

Caveman

Weapon X

Uncaged vengeance

Angel of love and death

This I state to you

My love and presence

My action and conveyance

Are  true to me

Which means they are true to you

There in revealed

The modern caveman

And the basis of my

Existence

From the chocolatezeus collection  7/31/15  ©

Spoken Mentals: Mental Symbiosis

Something that just came to mind with all the reading and things going through my mind right now. The ink decided to spill and leave it's mark. An understanding, a statment, a design.

Mental Symbiosis

Tethered

Holding you within cloud nine

Giving iron discipline

When you get out of line

I hold the creases of your mind

Broken walls laid bare

As you understand

Daddy’s care

Keeping in mind

Your welfare

Your future

As your mind opens wide

This connection

Guiding force

A journey into mystery

All with the comfort of knowing

My lead

Is to our true destination

Purpose, honor and no reservations

Keeping pace

Obstacles overcome upon the way

Minds conjoined in hierarchy

For what you have given

Mentally and physically

Is what we are living

Mentally and exponentially

From the chocolatezeus collection  7/30/15   ©

Comedy, BDSM, Cigars and Movies

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The Precursor and Entrance

Yesterday was a precursor to today. So I had to throw on some E 40 "Ball Street Journal" and deal with the day already.

The female parental unit already called about me coming to get them at the end of the month. And I guess is pissed because I said no way. So this is the barometer for the day definitely.

Last night and yesterday I was going through and dealing with things. And today will just continue that way most definitely. So I am going to kick the play list into some gangsta and mob shit and keep it pushing.

Memories and understanding crept in last night and I let it manifest destiny so that it would merely be whatever it needed to be. I realized a conglomerate had to be established in all this. After learning just how much was missed through non communication and investigation it was time to introduce the command and control regiment.

*Darth Vader heavy breathing*

Welcome to the Empire!!!

Make sure to have a good day. I am about to get back to planning and implementation. And then mix me a drink to get things happening.

salud!!!

Love Like My Own

I don't have kids. They are either dead or got killed by their womb donor.

Having said that I have taken care of those I was dating kids. From basketball practices to putting together christmas gifts and all things in between.

I love kids. Well, let me be honest. I love the good kids. the others I avoid like the plague.

One of the only good things to come out of my living in east chicago, indiana was falling in love with my god daughter. Now the reason why I became the god father was shallow and stupid but hey I love that little girl regardless of her family ties.

You are wondering why the Big Evil Muthafucker is bringing this up? Is he trying to play on your human parts and bits? Well the Representative just said, "good idea." The regular me said because I said so and it's fact. But anyway I bring her up after she tells me that she is graduating high school 2 years early. I am like WTF. I thought I would have at least another year before that with her little smart, grown ass.  So, I am going to have to get prepared. This is a graduation that I have to go to and I do not want to be around her family so somebody is gonna have to roll with me to this thing in Tennessee next year.

Though I could rarely ever see her. She has always been in my heart and mind. I constantly remember carrying her with me everywhere when her mother wanted a break. Me her and coco the puppy at that time. Teaching her to overcome fear and jump from couch to couch. Or teaching her to defend herself and not let anyone take her out. She was the reason I smiled back then through all the fucked up shit that was going on. She is the child I still wanted contact with when I moved from there.

I really wish that she had gotten a chance to meet Chocolate Doll before she died. I know Chocolate Doll would have fell in love with her cute self as well. And my god daughter always wanted to meet her or someone that I was with and made me happy for some reason.

Do Not get it twisted! She is a little girl built in a grown woman's body that has had to be the woman of the house in two households and had boyfriends 4 years older than her. I have cringed, bit my lip and tongue many a times thanks to the females that I have known in my life. Telling me just listen and don't go fucking daddy caveman on her. It was hard. I tried to just steer instead of my desire to crush and make things right.  That shit has been hard!

She has been the child I have had but didn't have. The smart little girl that really wasn't as much trouble unless there were issues with her womb donor and family. She rebelled like kids do. Thankfully she never did anything to fuck up her future and career possiblities.

Now, I am hoping to get her to use that brain of hers for more than hairstyles and perms. she would be a great woman lawyer. But no matter what I am proud of her.

Hell, she said she is going to the bahamas next year. I guess that is the graduation present. Lord please look out for her!

Let me go fix me another drink and deal with these thoughts. No doubt, more grey hairs will be prevalent before i know it.

Beam me up...I need more liquor here!

Expression: You Are The Fifth Element

The pen wrote and felt the boundaries of feeling and thought and came up with this. Yep, part nerd and part heart.

You Are The Fifth Element

Unparalleled anomaly

Such a unicorn of beauty

Pursued and claimed

Exponentially

But I see

Have felt from the beginning

The Alpha and Omega stance

Booming

Marveling at

Super strength

Outstanding intelligence

Put in a body

That makes lust

Burn at it’s peak

Aphrodite type beauty

As I touch your face

Look into eyes filled with galaxies

Feel the strength

The whisps of

Fraility and uncertainty

Seeking purchase

In the dark recess of mentality

For all the things

That separate you from everything

Your fit so exquisite

Vibrations attuned

So perfectly

Enigma

Savior

Holy grail

You encapsulate so many things

But the things that stands out to me

Makes you the Holy Grail

To be with

Your

Heart and soul

The imperfections that you own

The things that you feel

The love that you wield

This is why you are

The ultimate element

The holy grail

To have and keep

The

Fifth Element

Is

YOU

From the chocolatezeus collection  7/28/15   ©

Infuriated!!! Blacks and the Inability to Exist

Ok for those of you that are of the faint of heart persuasion and need the candy ass version. This is your time to stop reading. Because the Representative has left the building for this one!

I am not a black panther. I am not in the million man march or any of those things. But I do place importance on bettering, maintaining and educating. Because honestly so many black folk are fucked up and only want to get and be more fucked up!

This is an editorial on what was said concerning passa tony evans and sarah palin on the plight and solution of the black family as the us' ultimate crisis.

http://www.manhoodraceculture.com/2015/05/09/why-passa-tony-evans-and-sarah-palin-want-to-re-institute-slavery/

In this article I read from the site called Manhood Race and culture I read the synopsis and I am not in disagreement with what the author has said. When I first read the headline on facebook I wasn't shocked. Which is a dangerous thing. It shows complacency and makes things seem to be alright.  So I went and read the one article that this link was attached to. It is from may of this year. And when I researched it for validity with other news sources I didnt' find anything. So either it was media scrubbed or edited on the internet to change publicity.

Here are my thoughts and problems. And as I type I am trying to be concise and direct because I am pissed with this. and it is hard considering my temperment right now.

As black people we have to start thinking and acting accordingly for ourselves. Stop trying to be the next fashion statement and all this shit that the white people don't really do. I mean, there is a disparity of being able to move beyond meaningless material expectations and fluff in life. If you do then you are the worst person there is. Someone that tried to make something of themselves and all the other rat crabs will do what they can to pull you down to their misery.

Palin is a total fucking bimbo with the iq of wet cement encased in titanium. Her best contribution to the world is the porn parody "nailin palin." But the crazy part is that people listen to her. And listening means they are thinking it is correct because someone that has been in authority said this. They won't think for themselves and weigh out the validity of the source or the statements.

Here is where I am going to focus. Because palin is the norm for many and their thoughts. She is just open or dumb enough to say it. Which ever is the case. But my issue is with passa evans. Because this is a huge factor in the black community. People in power and authority fucking it up for everyone by knowing steering them wrong and keeping them retarded, dumbed down drones. And in this case passa evans says the black folk need to return to slavery so that there will be a better family unit. That is like saying the jews need another holocaust to bring them closer together. God didn't put this into this fool's mouth. It was his choice to lead his congregation that way. To reinforce that they are nothing at all and they must stay underneath the boot. Well at least he has slaves already apparently.

Religion, government and all these other influential positions are key proponents of people paying attention and listening. and instead of giving the people the tools and knowledge to say hey "think and understand for your self first and foremost."  Then they are just dumb pawns to be moved around and sacrificed.

I am just burnt up about this. because so called black leaders are the ones that cause the most damn problems. Hell, I would feel better if they educated the people and made them think for themselves and they still chose to go back to being slaves for themselves. At least then they had a chance to think it through.

I am going to fix a drink now.

Your Representative will return after these messages...