Intensity and Imposition and the return from the Wilderness

As a Dom and man I employ a captain caveman mentality. Me and my club go for the frontal assault. The only difference is that I have way more advance communication skills. But As General George S Patton suggested when he made the statement "if they hate me then they are unified and it won't back fire". I use this with dating and interests with females. If I slap you in the face with what I want and require. Either you can bitch up and fold. Or you can step up to the plate and be acknowledged as a woman.

In any relationship I require strength and purpose. For as much as I give I require to be able to recieve as well. So these standards apply to girlfriend, wife, friends, best friend as well as sub/slave. Without these standards being kept I don't keep you around.

The Cabin Adventure

I went to the cabin trip to support my fellow Road Warrior. I didn't want anything happening to her or her flipping out on folks in the middle of nowhere. Arriving in atlanta was an adventure. From the over an hour long wait in the rental car line as they told everyone with reservations that they didn't have any more vehicles.  To going to tgif friday during a biker club party or something. Where candy decides to moleste the 20 year old young boy that was serving us. But damn there was some nice ass that me and the porn star were enjoying in there.

Upon reaching the cabin the silliness had already began. The mess with as my dawg called her the Tragedy was already in full swing. Calling herself mrs bones and wearing a shirt that said that. Later on finding out it was shirts that all said mrs bones instead of just one. lol At least my dawg wasn't goaded by this chicks commentary all weekend.

But what I don't understand at a swing party is the crazy notion that it's weird to walk around naked. Where is your open minded thinking? If you are unhappy with yourself and your image then keep it to yourself. But people's insecurities reign supreme as always. Between that and the amount of people you fuck at a SWING party coming into question is just Ultimately Stupid. You are a venue where you can have as much sex with as many as you choose but you want to be prudish about other's actions. Get the fuck out of here!

I took advantage of the time in the wilderness to relax, smoke cigars, eat and drink while being deep in thought. It was good to sit on the deck and look at nature during my meditations.

My meditations led me to streamlining things further. From the loss of friends, lovers and all becoming a necessary evil to have happen. It is time for more strength and quality relationships. No longer a party to the give the less qualified a chance. Either you are qualified or not to be in my world. And with that applied it has ended some long term relations recently. Couldn't be helped. Best friend and lover had to be placed in the distance until and if they decide to return to the fold properly.  The positive was that I strengthen what I got with my Dawg for the wonder twin powers that we share.

The trip showed me why I am selective about the groups and people I associate with or party with. It is the main reason why I don't attend or associate with individuals from NC and the past parties. Just no need for the drama and issues. Which made me remember the drama about the chick that had been to a number of cabin parties deciding to call the police. Only to get removed by the police and left somewhere in town hours away from the nearest airport. Kind of hard to get back to good ole nyc when you are stuck. And to top it off a man goes down to help her and offer to drive her to the airport and she acts nasty about it. Dumb monkey bitch in action.

all in all besides the pat monkey bitch and about cursing her ugly ass out things were entertaining. Using my favorite word all weekend long YAHTZEE!!! Courtesy of Batman: Arkham Assylum assualt lol. Dawg kept looking at me shaking her head and laughing because I kept yelling it over and over. Especially when she was in her hours and hours of play time.

Intensity

I have been told I should give chances and not be so strict in my design for those that are interested or may be interested. From the ex best friend on to HQ. Reality is that I don't want the weakness and inconsistency that brings about. The lack of quality.

So I speak my mind, desires and wants. Gone are the days of indecisive and unfocused actions. And most females run scared because of that. But that is part of the weeding out process. Only the strong survive in this. And strength is what you need to be with me.

I know exactly the things that I want and need. And I am not afraid or ashamed to speak up, say and demand those things. If that causes many to run the other way and wither into obscurity. Then that was what needed to happen.

Even More Thoughts

I originally thought about a poly dynamic. But in seeing the situation in indviduals this summer I really better try to find one sub or slave that is at least able and focused first and foremost. As with any relationship *cue mission impossible theme music* there are a lot of statistics against you.

To find two females that fit the requirements of the relationship is like congress, the house of reps and the president all voting the same way. I see that now after the evaluation and observations that I have done over this summer. And I am thankful for the idea of it as well as the things that led me to make decisions about it.  Learning has definitely occured.

I have listened to Sir Strange, Koree and others talking about their poly relationships and they work wonderfully. And that is what I had wanted. Even thought the pieces were correct. Upon further evaluation I think that will be put on the counter for and if then statement than it occuring any time soon.

As usual I walk the valley of death. I fear no evil. For I am that evil that resides there.

Life....Times....Moments

The day started off rough. Getting to the airport only to find out I never got my id card back from the female at bank of america. So I couldn't get on my plane. Definitely couldn't come here to atlanta with no identification. So I had to run all the way to the other side of town back to the house and grab my passport. 

A definite rough start to the day.

Arrive here in ATL and wait for my road warrior twin. Only to end up standing at the car rental ticket counter for an hour. While they are saying they have no cars for the people that have reserved them. They come up with a car finally and we on the go. Only to have to go pick up the porn star. So as always when we get together. We are running. 

Rough patch number two of the day.

My road warrior twin and I have not really had time to hang out in years. We keep each other's back. We have had a time and adventure already and it has only been day one. We haven't even left for the cabin yet.

My mind is constantly filled with billions of things on the information highway. Some collide into other things or others are thankfully out of reach and understanding.  Either way it makes it hard for me to rest, relax and just be most of the time.

It has been said that I am intense and I have to agree with that. It simply is who and what I am. My mind and mouth speak. Mostly not in the benefit of humans at all.  I am complex, evil, mean and simplistic. As well as the kind, loving, caring romanticist. 

I have no problem telling her that I love her because I do. I also know that she may or may not be ready or available for any of that with me. Just the reality of free will. Gladly will give, support and be with her to fill her wants and needs. Be together as us and we instead of he and she. I see her interest and know there is something there. I just don't act like it is a sure thing. Because, it honestly isn't.

Would I like to get married again? Most definitely. Do I expect it? No! Society has created a lack of women and that there is death to relationships and marriage today.

Nor, do I expect everything to be simple and easy. Because it truly is not. The polar opposite.

I have learned to let emotions and rationality play the parts as a whole. To make decisions about who is right for me and everything. That passion and direction is that intesity that they feel and see.

I find my patience being tested through wait and see. It is not what I have wanted but I understand her point of view. I honestly want her as my woman, sub and service oriented one.  I want to be her dom and provide what she needs. while seeing her side that serves, and pleases.

Dom, my woman, subbie. 

Dynamic that I want at full strength.

Dancing To the Pussy Pounding Beat

I sit here. Entertained by the porn star fucking my road dawg. It is funny how my gender twin has ridiculous\s stamina when she is in the zone and her headspace. I have watched her put guys to sleep and out.

So here is my entertainment. I hyped things up so the porn star would want to fuck her because she needed it. And I needed quality entertainment. So I am happy as hell. he has been fucking and eating her for hours.

I have been dancing to the beat of their fucking. It is like enlightened aerobics. lol

So I am not hearing all that bullshit about her not being in shape or having endurance. lol

And all of this after a day of traveling and dealing with so much. Without any sleeps you continues crushing forward.

Entertainment at it's finest. But damn I am missing my own beat with HQ.

DETACHMENT: The Eye of Agamoto

I grew up reading Dr Strange comic books. And I understood the plight of the sorceror of earth. Constantly holding a superior demon in check.

In his astral form he traveled through different planes of existence. That is where I try to remain most of the time. With human pissing me off at every turn. It just is best that way. While also allowing for analysis and reflection.

I am like an on and off switch when it comes to humans. Especially females.
On is where I actually care and think about you and your well being.
Off is where you range from an associate: someone that I know but that is about all. Down to nothing where I could care less about you living.

I have been a part of and watched these rolling rapids on the river of life lately. Through that journey I have found myself with more distance than anything lately. To become closer seems to have warranted more distance.

I have opened my eye to listen, observe and think on things.

with the way things are going currently.

The more twisted, disenchanted and detached I have become.
Either the current right now will sweep me away for I will arrive at the proper destination.


*Doomsday is...Out*

'

Tectonic Shift

Danger sense has gone off. Well, to be honest it has been on defcon 4 for a few months now. Very lately it seems like a credible, huge threat is immenent.

The knowledge that I have found out from both EA and HQ have made me analyze. The cost-benefit analysis of interactions. With EA there seems to have been a curtain in the way. All wasn't as transparent as it had seemed. From HQ I receive constant warnings. Comments to assault the intrigue and attraction.

And now the energy flow seems different. As if the chi has been divergent upon something that has happened over that way. And I have no idea about what or why it is. So I steal myself. Prepared  for the Long Kiss Goodnight.

Honestly, I have no clue what may or may not be in store. But after all I am an Eagle Scout and the boyscout motto is Be Prepared!


*Doomsday...Out*

Dance With Me...The Devil

My track record and experiences in dating. Have been interesting and colorful to say the least. And that is putting it really mildly.

From the mild mannered nice guy to the Devil incarnate. My journey has transcended understanding. Through the pain and flames. Growing and hardening. Solidifying my strength and unity in being me.

But damn, why does it have to be so difficult to meet, get to know each other and enjoy yourself without the psycho monkeys and drama.

Here and now. And I find myself comfortable. A rarity, but a welcomed one. I have found myself able to deal with dating currently. Through the vibe and communication I have found myself pleasantly content.  Amid the female deterrent. There is still a rare unicorn to be found and coveted.

Dating Harley Quinn

A dark connection

Filled with carnal and erotic sensations

While pain and debauchery

Reign in an

Exorbitant way

Complex Simplicity

Meets

Curvy, feminine audacity

Hard to fathom

Understand even

Standing out to me

While partially combative

Combined in crazy things

Insanity our DSM treat

Twisted heart beats

Like forbidden fruit to me

Oh she is that

Rare unicorn

Legendary, mythical treat

So sinfully delicious

Angelically magnificent

I am lost in her enchantment

Devil and demon

Ready to run rampant

How I have fallen

Became enthralled in

The original chaos

Out of this world thinking

Dating Harley Quinn

Brings

From the chocolatezeus collection 8/24/14  ©

So I will enjoy this rare air up here and ride it's waves until the adventure leads to wherever the rainbow ends. 

DOMINION!!!

I have naturally been a Dom. Embraced myself not that long ago. Understanding being a dominant more and more. An ongoing journey that is picking up speed.

In these last few months. I have been evaluating, experiencing and heavily thinking. Desiring a poly relationship but understanding just how difficult it is to even have a primary relationship. The twists and differences are surreal. I have known and been reinforced through Black Beat workshop the importance of starting off with a sturdy foundation. Making sure the primary and relationship as a whole is strong.

I thought I found the best possible poly relationship that could be created. Then there was clarity. As I realized the instability of one and the unknown of the other. I know the strengths of the union as a whole or even myself one on one with each of them.

Dominant is the leader in the relationship. And that is what I seek to give. Yet, finding the proper one or ones to share that with is mission impossible. But I see the glimmer of hope because of the vibe and connection that I currently have is the holy grail that I hold onto. Still, there are no garauntees or sure things.

Vetting and consideration is where things lie right now. I understand that but it battles my desire for this journey to be completed.To begin a dynamic anew and with purpose and potency. I have seen the possibility and it has reinforced the desire and craving.

Ready for the dominion, security and stability of this strong dynamic that I seek.

Rope, Debauchery and Pain

Many years ago living in Japan I became intrigued with Shibari (japanese rope bondage). Between that and the rituals of pain and cleansing. It became part of my childhood and more. Never knowing then that it would add to my flames of intrigue.

So, when Black Beat came up from conversation with Emerald. I decided to take a leap. To nurture my desire and understanding for the sadistic, bondage and domination that I keep inside. Emerald said that it would be a good way to release the rage and anger that holds my cells together. Between that and the interactions with Lil Red lately have allowed me to let it out. It has been gradually so far but increasing in intensity. As Lil Red calls for more pain. I lick my lips and am thankful. For it will allow me to give into what lies beneath the caged armor.

Choking, slapping and ass smacking have been the tip of sadistic tendencies since the beginning. Here I am at the crossroads of unleashing the reigns and letting the full force of Zeus out.

I watched with contentment, pleasure and pure energy as everyone played in the dungeon. Wanting to strap Lil Red to a St Andrews cross or other apparatus. To flog her into an ultimate glee. But I did unleash more of my need to inflict pain on Emerald and Lil Red while I attended. Watching the reaction as I flogged, slapped ass and face made me relish every delicious moment. Feeling their energy and pleasure at my purposeful pain filled me.

Mr Mentl and Verity's rope work and demonstration helped fulfill and fuel me even further. Just watching them gave me a boost to my need to release more of this Dark Side held in check within.

Lil Red seeks more pain. It is time to let loose more of Zeus the All Father power upon her sexy body!!

To Feed or Not Feed My DarkSide

This journey in

• BDSM
• The Lifestyle
• Relationships

Just kicked up a few notches. It felt like a light came on upon the path of enlightenment. The energy was like I was Sho Nuff in the Last Dragon and I got that glow. Like minded people together socializing, learning and being a part of something bigger than self, made everything stand out. 

I wish people would understand and focus on the relationship aspect of what we do and seek. I enjoyed Mythos class on "Playing For Keeps". The relationship dynamic in bdsm. As was illustrated at the conference along with before the conference. Many Dom/Master and sub/slave relations are totally fucked up from the beginning. This is due to a lack of foundation. The ability to establish, solidify and manage the foundation is the only way that a relationship can be created and remain strong. And that is whether poly or not. 

Mr Mentl's rope class was crazy. I would never thought that it would turn me on so much. I have been fascinated from the aspect of seeing it done and romanticized in Japan. But I watched him tie up his sub and the next thing I knew my mind had gone into arousal. Literally getting hard while watching her suspended in the booty basket. I drank in of this intoxication and began my rope journey. That first day of class I couldn't even tie the introductory knot at all. But that second class I practiced and practiced until I actually could do it. Made me smile all proud as my diligence paid off. Even used it during a personally applied scene later. *still high*

I have been in play dungeons before. And I enjoyed the ambiance it created. I watched as each applied their personalized technique of play upon their bottoms. The sensory experience is one that cannot be quantified or explained. Whatever your kink you felt something there. And to watch Lady Lash dance and strike her subject on beat was exhilarating!! I was mesmerized by that. She would be a great casting for the Xmen villain Spiral. All she would need is 4 more arms to dance around and strike with.

All events have their hiccups and issues. But from my experience now there really needs to be better organization. To allow as much fluidity and access to information as possible while there. Because the mind and souls are open to absorb and obstacles can diminish and give that unfocused feeling.  For example avoiding having popular classes running at the same time. I know this was one of my dilemma. I was in the rope class and I wanted to attend the hand torture class as well. And yes I did get in my feelings about it. Even though I was told it was better off I wasn't armed with that information. *lol*

From beginning to end the experience was one of a kind. Leaving me in a nice high. Dom/Master round table to discuss needs, journey and future of our design led to thought provoking comments and revelations. While I am sure that the subs/slaves had their own in their round table respectively. I became fed and full off of knowledge, presence and relations. 

I came to a better understanding of Dom/sub relations. Strengthening my importance of properly establishing the relationship from the beginning. Making sure that the sub/slave is ready, not crazy and destructive. 

All I can say is this: 

Maintain your integrity to the relationship you choose to be in. Understand, act and support the relationship so that it may be all that it should be

Growing in the darkside of the force

LORD HAVOC

Within the Labyrinth

Sometimes I have to wonder what is the purpose of relationships. In this day and age it seems like it is a total waste. Females have no clue how to be a woman. Lost in past relationships. Damaged goods.Caught in a tornado of evil intent and distance. But screaming I want a relationship while killing anyone that genuinely approaches them.

Lately I have reflected. Thought about past, future and present. I have been happily married and I am so thankful for that. Hated coming back to dating. Realizing the dating scene is like being locked up and repeatedly murdered. Meeting females that are disconnected and crazy. The adventures and stories are of epic proportions. Females are confusing. And modern females are beyond confusing. They are contwisticated.

With that said I have adapted and learned to compartmentalize things. Regardless of being a loving, caring romantic I have to adjust to the times of females that want to be males. Trying to stay out of the quagmire of their confusion is like running from the Minotaur in the labyrinth. But it is the only way to stay semi sane.

Getting ready for Black Beat. My first time being around this many people in the bdsm lifestyle. This should be interesting and educational. The energy at the conference should be bananas. Plus it's time to let more of my sadistic side out. Especially since it seems that Red is for real about hurt and pain. I have always reigned in the amount of pain inflicted because of fear it will be too much. But it is time. And with everything going on and inside of me I need it.

I would rather be in a relationship. But it doesn't seem like that is a possibility. Plus wanting to have bdsm household and relationship has been a mythological reach in all this. Have I given up? Not completely. Just no longer actively trying.

I need to finish up this packing and get to moving.
Next stop the baltimore area. I am already strapped.

Quagmire of Intricacy

One of my favorite books is Eric Van Lustbader's Ninja. The story of an occidental gaijin in japan. The son of a prominent veteran of World War II. It shows his journey and submersion into Japanese culture. Specifically ninjitsu.

I grasp an understanding and kinship to this book because of the clash of cultures and experiences mentally.

Having grown up around the world. I have seen and experienced things that most citizens of this country could never truly understand. The thought that the world revolves around Americans is diminished drastically with travel abroad.

From Cinderfellow experiences to outcast relevance. My journey has brought me down a road where there are no roads. Disconnected from the normalcy that others went through. I have forged my way through the lava and brimstone to arrive at this point. Brandishing a badge of defiance and indifference.

Relationships hold important to me. Yet, their number remains very small for pure quality. That general aspect of look out for and help everyone and everything completely....died within me a long time ago. That is why the oldest friend has said she misses the old me. As I look at her distantly, now that she has fallen from the best friend mantle piece. This thing called relations has a different hierarchy to me. All of it makes me stand out because I haven't traveled the same path or hold the same thoughts as everyone else.

Understanding and accepting the difficulties and aspect of being me unflinching. It has strengthened me. To the point where I am contradictory to mass thoughts and beliefs.

Still all the things that makes them gawk in disbelief. Make me a stronger being.

Can't Lead a Horse to Water and Make It Drink

If you are someone I care about I am with you through the good and the bad. We can and will walk together.

But when you offer your ear, support and all but they still won't take it. Then there is nothing that you can do. You are merely a spectator then.

I feel sorry for lil green. I do. But I don't have any other options but watch and leave it alone. I would gladly help her with anything that she needs. Love means standing by no matter what. But it doesn't change the pain and sorrow of watching this stuff happen. I am just having a hard time understanding why can't you let go of the people that are bringing you down, restricting you and causing you pain. Change is hard and chaotic but it is a necessary proponent of moving on.

I want to start my poly house. But, the difficult of relationships period these days really make it a far fetched ideology at this point. I found the two women that I feel are excellent candidates for the relationship. We get along together. Have some of the same interests, commonality and sexual delights. I have loved lil green for many years. Our time has been great, bonding and priceless. She has opened the door and eyes to things. While meeting lil red has brought up a bond that can fit as snug as a glove. Both combined can be the nova of relationships. Exactly what I need and want. The issues are the focus, knowing what is wanted and the commitment. If these things can be overcame then as close to perfection as possible is achieved. I can give myself to this D/s/s relationship. So we are at a crossroads. I honestly have come to a halt and left it to whatever happens is whatever happens at this point. I can envision, guide and support but that is about it.

I am ready to attend Black Beat for the first time. To be around like minded people and enjoy the experience. Learn and observe different techniques. My first event of this size and magnitude. So this will be one for the books definitely. So, come wednesday baltimore here we come!

YCMB...Young Crazy Monkey Bitch

The chick that I talked to. As we talked about being together and getting married and having a family. We use to talk daily and want each other deeply.

Kept saying that people and her family said she was crazy. Believe a monkey bitch when they say things like that. She sure was.

From communicating daily to excuses of I have been busy and hearing from her ass sporadically. But yet she posting on facebook all day long. Wanting to call one time, once in a while to start out "but baby".

But after all the attempts I made to see her and everything. She says she wants to meet on the 4th because she is driving her girl to Columbia, SC. And then to get a week before and she tells me she is coming and bringing the fucking kids she babysits. Get the fuck out of here bitch.

Cute and sexy but another dumb monkey bitch. I guess age is a factor when you are just dumb!

I have to laugh at her dumb ass posting questions about communicating, relationships and people lying and being fake. Her bitch ass is the epitome of all of those plus.