Poetic Moment: Carnal Kinkestry

Carnal Kinkestry

the electricity crackles

built over time

a certified live wire

your body has been calling me

with each episode of

moistened thighs

throbbing clit

I watched you fight

against every fiber of your being

I am merely the answer

the solution to those carnal things

you fight against being free

culmination

breathy moans

open thighs

as your body comes alive

caught in a craving that you deny

the knife blade glides

tracing strips of lava

inside and outside

I see you

have seen you

all this time

flames fly

as the air melts

a cold blade brings nuclear fire

chemistry

connectivity

still

I remain

the answer

that you tried to hide from and deny

it is time

earthquakes

grand carnal expanse

culminating in

atomic impding

soul taking

answer to what you need

from the chocolatezeus collection 12/10/19 (c)

Poetic Moment: Hears your Sign

Hears your Sign

pretender

charlatan

I see you

bundled in epitaphs of

daddy and relationship fuck up

issues

culminating

a living

festering wound

imbued with ultimate toxicity

living your best life

Well..

your best interpreted pipe dream

your fear gripped indefinitely

lifeline that you ride in false pride

repeatedly committing seppuku inside

lost in your need to murder any attempt

to live life

screaming to the emptiness

I am alright

just so we can see

the intelligent, pussy is power wielding heroine

that the conformist decided you liked

keep hope down

entitlement alive

as the rabbit hole has already

swallowed you alive

we see you

hear you

thanks for clarifying

from the chocolatezeus collection 12/4/19 (c)

Thanksgiving and Beyond

Thanksgiving is gone. My ribs and tater salad were delicious. I am glad I cooked them for me while the parental unit and the sister ate the huge amount of food that the sister cooked. Ja Bless! I got in a few sticks so pssita was in effect as much as possible. It was great to have a chance to stay in the room and not be bothered. Anyone I wanted to be bothered with was nowhere near by anyway.

Great conversations and interactions have continued since Spanksgiving. Inspired interest and intrigue has bloomed as well as plenty of learning. Connections and vibes have been great and I am enjoying their growth.

I did have to finally admit. Well at least accept 97 percent truth when the girls stated that chicks did watch and stuff. I am still going to claim it is not interest but shock and awe. lol Just like dating. But I have to acknowledge all that has happened and is happening lately. Hell, I even had ole pegasus contact me talking about she hadn't talked to me in a while. *that would be because if you dont make the effort and maintain then I don't remember you.* Even the mahogany journalist asked some questions of me about dating, love and stuff.

Took little one out to the cookout my cousin from massachusetts throws at his daddys house a few times a year. I was requested by him so I had a chance to show up this time. We just chilled, talked and interacted. As usual most of them I have no idea who they were or their names. lol

Work. Yeah, these idiot presidents and politicians need to be culled. Both past and present. I seriously have to come up with a business idea to implement. Much to do and will have to do.

Had a chance to chill with kitty yesterday. We had a great talk at the sushi spot since the clusterfuck due to the parental unit deciding that he needed to go with me and sit in the car while I was down there in chucktown.  kitty and I talked about so many aspects of the lifestyle and just living it. Laughing and talking. Plus I think the staff there got a kick out of us as well. We talked to the point where I think they had already closed. Because I got there so late we didn't get to smoke a stick together but I am sure there will be other times.  It was a breath of fresh air and a lot of fun, as well as educational.

Dealing with attitudes, personalities, issues and so much more is challenging to put it lightly. I have had quite a bit of experience from exes, red, little one, babycakes and others for sure. Hell, many rules, protocols and regulations have been introduced, tweaked, strengthened and made more iron clad because of red, little one, babycakes and any others I have interacted with or had in any capacity or role.

The thanks is there. Because the learning has been real through the good and the bad.  I am thankfully for the love, lust, desire that I have and is being introduced lately. And thanks for being able to manage the emotional and mental aspects that are completely not of my style.

Time to get ready for the fetish ball in the atl in two weeks and then the House of Havoc new years this year.

I am still looking around and wondering where this year went to though.

Well, I am sure you are doing well and having a good time. Just be thankful you survived eating thanksgiving and didn't end up exploding like a kid in the willy wonka factory. lol

Poetry in Life: Moment of Death Between Me and you

Moment of Death Between Me and you

I waited

Waited so long

To address Us

For over a year my heart hurt

With the emptiness that replaced love

A distance that murdered the spark

Never would I have thought

That you would no longer want

you and Me

In love

Focused on the future

Heart full of flames

But that day

When I addressed

The missing things

I felt the cold

As the death bell tolled

Shock and disbelief took hold

Did she just decide that she wouldnt try?

Give no damn to what we are, were and had?

An assault I was unprepared for

Merely left me

Dead and subdued

Even when I broke all rules

Gave her the Jodeci

Come and Talk to Me

When you are ready

The black hole grew

This moment etched in the atoms of my soul

There was nothing that I could do

So I gave her what she wanted

Salud

from the chocolatezeus collection 11/25/19 (c)

Poetic Moment: Me for you

In these moments I hold

Hold steadfast to reality

Reality of life and living

As so many things are revealed

I am beseech ed upon deep diving

Into life's offerings

Smiles of desire and wanton interest

Interactions of intimacy and prevalence

I stand

Standing against guarded entrances

Embattled hearts and mentality

I caress your chosen fraility

Offer up this connection

Our connection

As a safe zone

With this grin

This smile

Arms outstretched

The choice is yours

from the chocolatezeus collection 11/24/19 (c)

The Journey: Love, Laughter and Learning

It has been a rollercoaster since being back from Spanksgiving. Things are going. Life Unscripted is in full effect but things move forward.

Had plenty of conversation with folks about their journey. Realized what the girls said was true. That people do watch me. Tried to help and support those on their own journey with encouragment and listening.

I have met some interesting, intelligent, vibrant sexy females. I enjoy them in specific ways. Attraction, interest and intrigue lay there in front of me but it is about hearing them and being of service basically to things that they share or been through.

All of this opened up more analytics, thoughts and understandings. With my desires, relationships and dynamic plus much more.

In talking to these ladies. Their journeys had me reflect on mine. Where I started to where I am now.

Most definitely didn't do it myself.

It started with red the chick I was in love with and dating. Her energy, passion and desire along with patience helped foster a foundation.

little one has been the bulk of the journey because I have had a dynamic with her the longest. And showed me many different things that I hadn't considered or even understood. Solo poly stuff and all that. Helped formulate a lot more the way My House was to be.

Both of these two were in the lifestyle before me. So, I took quite a bit of knowledge from them so I could formulate what was Me and what I needed.

Then there came babycakes. Basically new, bright eyed and excited. The previous adventures prepared me more for this. For putting forth the will, drive, goals and the application to join Me.

Through it all there has been nothing but growth. In every aspect things have changed for the better. From decisions to expectations, needs and requirements. To the configuration of mono/poly that I require. And even the desire to have a third that is a slave in My House.

Sitting here as the parental unit only gets worse and drives me more into apathetic distancing. And life throws all the things that I need to handle on minute by minute basis. I can look and see that I have been blessed. I have been able to live life more abundantly through it all. Through the heartache and pain. The release and acceptance. Even the understandings and realizations.


I smile because of all that I have experienced. But my smile is brighter because of those I have watched grow. Those that I have talked to recently and hear the joy in them again. Or those I find sexy as hell and we talk about life, the lifestyle and goals.

Laughing at some of the many memories this year. The times where memories were made and will last forever.

Love's savage existence flourished and blossomed from the pain of release of red last year and losing tigger this year. To love having a different aspect attached to my heart and soul currently to add to my already hard core loving self.


Angry Man Prime is always me but to those that want, can accept and understand at least some aspects of Me then I am here to give love, affection, passion and those things that connect you and me.

Spanksgiving: An Unforgettable Culmination

I am still tired and wore out from Spanksgiving in texas. Just got back to the house today after a day at little one's talking to contractors.

Me and the girls worked hard at the event. little one doing registration and other stuff behind the scenes. As well as people wanting to buy the monkey fists that she was making for babycake's smaller version of my monkey fist flogger Mjolnir. babycakes basically did all the coordinating again. Basically we served until Me and babycakes were the last one leaving the hotel on monday.

The girls got me a Caveman paddle club, Caveman knife and a House knife paddle shown above. I love them!

I got to do a wonderful knife scene for the first time that I fully enjoyed.

Did a scene with little one and unveiled Mjolnir. She enjoyed herself and started laughing during the scene as she has been doing in public scenes lately.

I did some impromptu scene with babycakes after her fire cupping so I could enjoy my sadism and kick her in the ass as she tried to run away.

Since the bbq I have been shocked by those that have reached out and talked to me. Both those that attend CTX events and those that haven't. I have watched an evolution of both existence, journey and just being. The conversations that have been had have been eye opening as well as enlightening.

My enjoyment was watching the people enjoy themselves and the light that shined from them as they delved into their journey at the event. They were able to be free and take it all in. From the sexy new chicks to those that have been to a few events. It fills me with a smile to a part of and observe all of this.

Finally met and enjoyed phoenix kay. Had a good time with her energy and her soft ass, sexy red headed self. I was shocked about the brass knuckles gift thoroughly from her.

My heart goes out to jade and toni and their journey since last year. They have both grown so much and come so far. I can't help but grin and be happy for them.

babycakes FUN neral presentation went well. But I expected that because it is what she knew about and had done for decades. The people loved the information and class thoroughly. So now both of my girls have presented in the community and continue to present.

Dating continues to be an unusable mess since there really aren't any candidates that are worthy or able to handle the role. I don't need to repeat my bad choices and my requirements are most evidently cemented even more now.

As I finish this up and I remember all the things that went on the weekend I am glad to have gone and to be a part of MDHL and CTX Darkside.

Eleven Years After the Wedding

Eleven years ago yesterday was the best day of my life. Team Titan was solidified and the human race became safe.

On that day we towered over the officiant and made everyone that did not know us cry. Eternity was etched upon us at that moment.

My memories are delightful and it is something I would never take back even if I knew that My Chocolate Doll would die.

People offer their condolences and positive words. Some offer support and I thank them even though I don't need it. 

I still feel. There are some times tears in private. But there is just joy.

Great Conversations and OxyMorons

Next weekend is Spanksgiving. It is going to be the biggest CTX event thus far. Which shows the growth from 3 years ago to now. It still shocks me that I am this involved in it. All the way from NC to TX. But, I am security and one of those that work on the events. This year I will even have help. Both little one and babycakes are volunteering, along with babycakes doing her first presentation in the lifestyle on final preparations in the lifestyle. I am proud of them and their journey.

I am still shocked at the interest in and number of scenes that I will be doing. The most ever I think. This is definitely going to be one for the Life Unscripted books. Scenes negotiated, even for who won me for the auction.

Between the scene negotiations and discussions about journies, desires and things missing the conversations I have had with slaves and subs have been outstanding. To hear and be of help with ideas and objectivity made me feel warm in this cold, dead heart. lol  Something about hearing and helping with someone ideas and goals.


Now to the entertainment portion...

In discussions and reflections on the past I find these things funny when it comes to females I have heard, been witnessed to and experienced things like:

I want someone to love me for me, but I have to change how he is because it bothers me (in a situationship.)

I need a break so we can get back together after x amount of time. I love you too much and have to find myself.

Don't talk to me, I can't stand or deal with you. (after you give them the distance they want.) I knew you weren't going to talk to me again. (lol I did what you asked.)

These things are baffling but definitely funny.


Time to pack to leave tomorrow.  Then get prepared to eat and beat plenty of ass in a few days.

Love and Dating: the Fallacy Experience

These things have been a hot topic since I talk to a few people. And even with the girls.

Much of the disconnect with others and me is that their attempt to place their mat of personal understanding and their experiences upon me. I am anti everything in that aspect. The key is to listen, understand Me and accept Me as Me.

So many send and want representatives instead of the real deal. Sadly, that is the way they have been socialized and taught.

I have always hated dating. That was one of the many reasons that I was glad when I didn't have to do it anymore.

The girls have their issues with dating because they are my property. And guys want to be number one. They don't understand that they can enjoy whatever relationship they have with the girls. I still don't know why that boy last year got upset with little one because I said I wasn't meeting or interacting with him.

I love hard and fully. And it has taken serious education within myself to deal with things that are only seen and understood by me now. Hell, I even surprised myself when I spoke to red and told her my issue and gave her a chance to resolve it if she chose.  For once I didn't excommunicate and walk away (extremely shocking.) I loved the hell out of that girl. But growth had to happen. And that growth did. I put the ball in their court and let them choose their path. Then go from that point.

Dating is still something I want. But now I really don't feel anything about it other than there is a need for someone that fits, can handle it and be active. And those things seem very difficult for people to do. So I am apathetic.

Will see where the twin goes. mahoganie and pegasus chose their paths with inability to follow through and I left that alone.

There are things, times, people that I miss but I can't make them communicate, love themselves, want to be loved or have a relationship. And that is all good

It's funny that things are different but yet the same with more power  So my need for a monogamous chick to date and a slave is real. Time will reveal and show the way as it has already.

As I continue to walk through the fallacies of relations, relationships, dating and love. I will not fear love because I am love and no one can define or take that away.

Back to these dating discussions it seems now with folk.  Ta ta for now.  lol

It's Female Toxicity and Not Men are Toxic

females constantly screaming men are toxic. That is because they are the ones that extremely toxic.

They just need to blame men for their damaged, fucked up, wrong decision making existence.

The usual oppressive attempt to destroy, devalue and criminalize men because we don't conform to their oppressive tyranny.

Everywhere you see this phrase used. When they are too sensitive and cowardice to truly accept and be themselves is the true issue.

Claiming the ignorant think and act like a man stupidity. Shows no matter how many degrees and much experience you have, that you have not learned and matured.

femmenazis and females have waged war the only way that they knew. They attack with inapplicable and unrealistic rhetoric to get the masses and cannon fodder to follow and push their ignorance.

Oh well the ignorance will continue until the rare women finally show up and kick these monkey bitches out of the way.

Back to reality, Back to life

Lack of Integrity, Life Unscripted and Relatinships

As always Life Unscripted remains it's usual alternative, evolving self.

This bullshit with the journey conference people is ridiculous. sable and his people really have screwed everyone with not giving back the refunds they said that they would give because of the mess that they made. They advertise for their so called conference next year and attending events but still no refund since august.

I made a post in that itm facebook group pointing out the facts that they had not gotten their refund and the sheeple got in their feelings that I did it. Saying that it was personal and other bullshit. Regardless of me not going or intending to go the point was to put out there the lack of integrity and how wrong all of it was. But the monkey bitches decided that it was a personal post and deleted it because they need to coddle and support violators and popular fraudulent individuals. I no desire to associate with these types of individuals.

People not speaking up for themselves because of fear, retaliation, ostracization and more was the reason I posted it in the group and stuck with just the facts. But is apparent that individuals are too busy avoiding conflict and sticking with old school children like actions. But this will be the same individuals whining and carrying on that Dominants don't warn anyone and only look out for self.


Now I have to run the parental unit to bama. Who knows what the hell for now. I dont feel like being bothered but of course the job has to get done. So, there and back again it is once more.

It's time to get ready for Spanksgiving. Still haven't gotten their negotiations done. Main hotel sold out and people in the overflow hotel will make this the biggest one yet. babycakes is presenting. little one is volunteering again. I am running security again. There is going to be a lot to see. Plenty of conversation and knowledge to experience. And I look forward to the new people's reactions and adventures.


Relationship mess...

I had a chance to spend time in thought as well as doing research and listening to girls, others, baby momma and all concerning relationships. Because relationships definitely are not relationships or any facsimile many times in this modern era.

My choices in females have been based on connection and forecasting. The problem was and is I can see their potential while they are too damaged and scared to step up and achieve their own great journey. Exes chose to stay in their comfort coffins and that was their choice. But what can I say? I picked them and paid that price.

So many lessons learned and things applied from it all. Rules and protocols put in place because of exes, passing by females and modern females. So things have definitely changed and the bullshit that was the past is not the future. Not against some type of relationship but sure as hell not doing a repeat with anyone that I have came across from before this moment. Let them have their damaged, fragile, scary existences.

I still can't understand why females claim all this independent, I am everything and don't need this and that but won't achieve, maintain and work on a true relationship. Just want to stand back and keep things on the shelf. The good thing is when I see this now I can treat them like what they are and keep it moving.

So, relationships are that if then statement only if they are worthy and skilled enough to be in their role.



Evan Williams, cigars and finally some food. I am done for now

I Was Going Back to Cali

After getting stuck in Dallas due to tornados and american airlines worthless selves. O am ready to get back to the house.

I had a good time. I had a chance to enjoy Caveman time and take a needed break.

Went to go see Sir Strange and we chopped it up. Hot fed knowledge and comraderie. A lot of stuff to learn from a vet in the game such as Him.

Hung out with mvp. And she was of service once she got back in town. Enjoyed our time, since I hadn't seen her since Spanksgiving years ago.

I went to the Planes of Fame museum and took mvp with me to the Yanks museum. she got to see that side of me in my element. lol

I do not miss living in Cali with the crazy prices and everything. But I realized it had been 20 years since I lived out there on my visit.

Well let's see if something else happens this morning to impede my journey back to NC.