The Journey: Love, Laughter and Learning

It has been a rollercoaster since being back from Spanksgiving. Things are going. Life Unscripted is in full effect but things move forward.

Had plenty of conversation with folks about their journey. Realized what the girls said was true. That people do watch me. Tried to help and support those on their own journey with encouragment and listening.

I have met some interesting, intelligent, vibrant sexy females. I enjoy them in specific ways. Attraction, interest and intrigue lay there in front of me but it is about hearing them and being of service basically to things that they share or been through.

All of this opened up more analytics, thoughts and understandings. With my desires, relationships and dynamic plus much more.

In talking to these ladies. Their journeys had me reflect on mine. Where I started to where I am now.

Most definitely didn't do it myself.

It started with red the chick I was in love with and dating. Her energy, passion and desire along with patience helped foster a foundation.

little one has been the bulk of the journey because I have had a dynamic with her the longest. And showed me many different things that I hadn't considered or even understood. Solo poly stuff and all that. Helped formulate a lot more the way My House was to be.

Both of these two were in the lifestyle before me. So, I took quite a bit of knowledge from them so I could formulate what was Me and what I needed.

Then there came babycakes. Basically new, bright eyed and excited. The previous adventures prepared me more for this. For putting forth the will, drive, goals and the application to join Me.

Through it all there has been nothing but growth. In every aspect things have changed for the better. From decisions to expectations, needs and requirements. To the configuration of mono/poly that I require. And even the desire to have a third that is a slave in My House.

Sitting here as the parental unit only gets worse and drives me more into apathetic distancing. And life throws all the things that I need to handle on minute by minute basis. I can look and see that I have been blessed. I have been able to live life more abundantly through it all. Through the heartache and pain. The release and acceptance. Even the understandings and realizations.


I smile because of all that I have experienced. But my smile is brighter because of those I have watched grow. Those that I have talked to recently and hear the joy in them again. Or those I find sexy as hell and we talk about life, the lifestyle and goals.

Laughing at some of the many memories this year. The times where memories were made and will last forever.

Love's savage existence flourished and blossomed from the pain of release of red last year and losing tigger this year. To love having a different aspect attached to my heart and soul currently to add to my already hard core loving self.


Angry Man Prime is always me but to those that want, can accept and understand at least some aspects of Me then I am here to give love, affection, passion and those things that connect you and me.

Spanksgiving: An Unforgettable Culmination

I am still tired and wore out from Spanksgiving in texas. Just got back to the house today after a day at little one's talking to contractors.

Me and the girls worked hard at the event. little one doing registration and other stuff behind the scenes. As well as people wanting to buy the monkey fists that she was making for babycake's smaller version of my monkey fist flogger Mjolnir. babycakes basically did all the coordinating again. Basically we served until Me and babycakes were the last one leaving the hotel on monday.

The girls got me a Caveman paddle club, Caveman knife and a House knife paddle shown above. I love them!

I got to do a wonderful knife scene for the first time that I fully enjoyed.

Did a scene with little one and unveiled Mjolnir. She enjoyed herself and started laughing during the scene as she has been doing in public scenes lately.

I did some impromptu scene with babycakes after her fire cupping so I could enjoy my sadism and kick her in the ass as she tried to run away.

Since the bbq I have been shocked by those that have reached out and talked to me. Both those that attend CTX events and those that haven't. I have watched an evolution of both existence, journey and just being. The conversations that have been had have been eye opening as well as enlightening.

My enjoyment was watching the people enjoy themselves and the light that shined from them as they delved into their journey at the event. They were able to be free and take it all in. From the sexy new chicks to those that have been to a few events. It fills me with a smile to a part of and observe all of this.

Finally met and enjoyed phoenix kay. Had a good time with her energy and her soft ass, sexy red headed self. I was shocked about the brass knuckles gift thoroughly from her.

My heart goes out to jade and toni and their journey since last year. They have both grown so much and come so far. I can't help but grin and be happy for them.

babycakes FUN neral presentation went well. But I expected that because it is what she knew about and had done for decades. The people loved the information and class thoroughly. So now both of my girls have presented in the community and continue to present.

Dating continues to be an unusable mess since there really aren't any candidates that are worthy or able to handle the role. I don't need to repeat my bad choices and my requirements are most evidently cemented even more now.

As I finish this up and I remember all the things that went on the weekend I am glad to have gone and to be a part of MDHL and CTX Darkside.

Eleven Years After the Wedding

Eleven years ago yesterday was the best day of my life. Team Titan was solidified and the human race became safe.

On that day we towered over the officiant and made everyone that did not know us cry. Eternity was etched upon us at that moment.

My memories are delightful and it is something I would never take back even if I knew that My Chocolate Doll would die.

People offer their condolences and positive words. Some offer support and I thank them even though I don't need it. 

I still feel. There are some times tears in private. But there is just joy.

Great Conversations and OxyMorons

Next weekend is Spanksgiving. It is going to be the biggest CTX event thus far. Which shows the growth from 3 years ago to now. It still shocks me that I am this involved in it. All the way from NC to TX. But, I am security and one of those that work on the events. This year I will even have help. Both little one and babycakes are volunteering, along with babycakes doing her first presentation in the lifestyle on final preparations in the lifestyle. I am proud of them and their journey.

I am still shocked at the interest in and number of scenes that I will be doing. The most ever I think. This is definitely going to be one for the Life Unscripted books. Scenes negotiated, even for who won me for the auction.

Between the scene negotiations and discussions about journies, desires and things missing the conversations I have had with slaves and subs have been outstanding. To hear and be of help with ideas and objectivity made me feel warm in this cold, dead heart. lol  Something about hearing and helping with someone ideas and goals.


Now to the entertainment portion...

In discussions and reflections on the past I find these things funny when it comes to females I have heard, been witnessed to and experienced things like:

I want someone to love me for me, but I have to change how he is because it bothers me (in a situationship.)

I need a break so we can get back together after x amount of time. I love you too much and have to find myself.

Don't talk to me, I can't stand or deal with you. (after you give them the distance they want.) I knew you weren't going to talk to me again. (lol I did what you asked.)

These things are baffling but definitely funny.


Time to pack to leave tomorrow.  Then get prepared to eat and beat plenty of ass in a few days.

Love and Dating: the Fallacy Experience

These things have been a hot topic since I talk to a few people. And even with the girls.

Much of the disconnect with others and me is that their attempt to place their mat of personal understanding and their experiences upon me. I am anti everything in that aspect. The key is to listen, understand Me and accept Me as Me.

So many send and want representatives instead of the real deal. Sadly, that is the way they have been socialized and taught.

I have always hated dating. That was one of the many reasons that I was glad when I didn't have to do it anymore.

The girls have their issues with dating because they are my property. And guys want to be number one. They don't understand that they can enjoy whatever relationship they have with the girls. I still don't know why that boy last year got upset with little one because I said I wasn't meeting or interacting with him.

I love hard and fully. And it has taken serious education within myself to deal with things that are only seen and understood by me now. Hell, I even surprised myself when I spoke to red and told her my issue and gave her a chance to resolve it if she chose.  For once I didn't excommunicate and walk away (extremely shocking.) I loved the hell out of that girl. But growth had to happen. And that growth did. I put the ball in their court and let them choose their path. Then go from that point.

Dating is still something I want. But now I really don't feel anything about it other than there is a need for someone that fits, can handle it and be active. And those things seem very difficult for people to do. So I am apathetic.

Will see where the twin goes. mahoganie and pegasus chose their paths with inability to follow through and I left that alone.

There are things, times, people that I miss but I can't make them communicate, love themselves, want to be loved or have a relationship. And that is all good

It's funny that things are different but yet the same with more power  So my need for a monogamous chick to date and a slave is real. Time will reveal and show the way as it has already.

As I continue to walk through the fallacies of relations, relationships, dating and love. I will not fear love because I am love and no one can define or take that away.

Back to these dating discussions it seems now with folk.  Ta ta for now.  lol

It's Female Toxicity and Not Men are Toxic

females constantly screaming men are toxic. That is because they are the ones that extremely toxic.

They just need to blame men for their damaged, fucked up, wrong decision making existence.

The usual oppressive attempt to destroy, devalue and criminalize men because we don't conform to their oppressive tyranny.

Everywhere you see this phrase used. When they are too sensitive and cowardice to truly accept and be themselves is the true issue.

Claiming the ignorant think and act like a man stupidity. Shows no matter how many degrees and much experience you have, that you have not learned and matured.

femmenazis and females have waged war the only way that they knew. They attack with inapplicable and unrealistic rhetoric to get the masses and cannon fodder to follow and push their ignorance.

Oh well the ignorance will continue until the rare women finally show up and kick these monkey bitches out of the way.

Back to reality, Back to life

Lack of Integrity, Life Unscripted and Relatinships

As always Life Unscripted remains it's usual alternative, evolving self.

This bullshit with the journey conference people is ridiculous. sable and his people really have screwed everyone with not giving back the refunds they said that they would give because of the mess that they made. They advertise for their so called conference next year and attending events but still no refund since august.

I made a post in that itm facebook group pointing out the facts that they had not gotten their refund and the sheeple got in their feelings that I did it. Saying that it was personal and other bullshit. Regardless of me not going or intending to go the point was to put out there the lack of integrity and how wrong all of it was. But the monkey bitches decided that it was a personal post and deleted it because they need to coddle and support violators and popular fraudulent individuals. I no desire to associate with these types of individuals.

People not speaking up for themselves because of fear, retaliation, ostracization and more was the reason I posted it in the group and stuck with just the facts. But is apparent that individuals are too busy avoiding conflict and sticking with old school children like actions. But this will be the same individuals whining and carrying on that Dominants don't warn anyone and only look out for self.


Now I have to run the parental unit to bama. Who knows what the hell for now. I dont feel like being bothered but of course the job has to get done. So, there and back again it is once more.

It's time to get ready for Spanksgiving. Still haven't gotten their negotiations done. Main hotel sold out and people in the overflow hotel will make this the biggest one yet. babycakes is presenting. little one is volunteering again. I am running security again. There is going to be a lot to see. Plenty of conversation and knowledge to experience. And I look forward to the new people's reactions and adventures.


Relationship mess...

I had a chance to spend time in thought as well as doing research and listening to girls, others, baby momma and all concerning relationships. Because relationships definitely are not relationships or any facsimile many times in this modern era.

My choices in females have been based on connection and forecasting. The problem was and is I can see their potential while they are too damaged and scared to step up and achieve their own great journey. Exes chose to stay in their comfort coffins and that was their choice. But what can I say? I picked them and paid that price.

So many lessons learned and things applied from it all. Rules and protocols put in place because of exes, passing by females and modern females. So things have definitely changed and the bullshit that was the past is not the future. Not against some type of relationship but sure as hell not doing a repeat with anyone that I have came across from before this moment. Let them have their damaged, fragile, scary existences.

I still can't understand why females claim all this independent, I am everything and don't need this and that but won't achieve, maintain and work on a true relationship. Just want to stand back and keep things on the shelf. The good thing is when I see this now I can treat them like what they are and keep it moving.

So, relationships are that if then statement only if they are worthy and skilled enough to be in their role.



Evan Williams, cigars and finally some food. I am done for now

I Was Going Back to Cali

After getting stuck in Dallas due to tornados and american airlines worthless selves. O am ready to get back to the house.

I had a good time. I had a chance to enjoy Caveman time and take a needed break.

Went to go see Sir Strange and we chopped it up. Hot fed knowledge and comraderie. A lot of stuff to learn from a vet in the game such as Him.

Hung out with mvp. And she was of service once she got back in town. Enjoyed our time, since I hadn't seen her since Spanksgiving years ago.

I went to the Planes of Fame museum and took mvp with me to the Yanks museum. she got to see that side of me in my element. lol

I do not miss living in Cali with the crazy prices and everything. But I realized it had been 20 years since I lived out there on my visit.

Well let's see if something else happens this morning to impede my journey back to NC.

And Here We are Years Later

So a couple days ago was the anniversary of owning little one. It is hard to believe it has been this long. But she has survived and her stockholm syndrome increased. Through the ups and downs. The episodes with others. My female parental units funeral and all. she has survived. A definite gold star for her!

It isn't hard to be with me but it also isn't easy if you use the usual things of attempts to change me, informing me about me and not knowing and being your role in My life. So, basically it is as difficult as you choose to make it.

On other notes...

The male parental unit continues to deteriorate. Memory going even more. Health seems to be going down more as well. And of course my agitation with him and his daughter increases each day.

Time is flying by and I look back and sometimes shocked at all that has passed. The dating mess. The deaths. The removal of people from my life. As well as growth. Increased involvement in the community. Greater knowledge and experiences all around. And the adventures of Life Unscripted have continued to be completely crazy as always.

Last night was my first time participating in an auction as someone being auctioned off. It was a very unique experience. Wasn't expected to be bid on but that went out the window. lol  I decided to be part of the auction simply to help CTX and provide some unique comedy Caveman style to it all. And now I am going to do a scene with the young lady that won me. *go figure*

So that is a brief catch up but so much has been going on I know it is not all of it. Will fill you in more later...

Poetic Reality: Black man: The New Alamo

Black Man: The New Alamo

Each day time and the world reminds

That as a black man

I can be on borrowed

Or expired time

A life expectancy

Many times less than 23

Hunted

Disavowed

Held down

The enemy

Is not always clearly seen

Intricate plot twists and attacks

Constant state of prepared emergency

Who are the enemy?

Society

Economic and political tyranny

Black, white, brown and everything

Females

And those claim love and sympathy

Survival

Is the only thing we can focus on

Stealing ourselves against this

Come one and all

Hell in the cell living

Yet we beat the atrocities

Even though we remain victimized by

Those that are supposed to be

Our people

Our women

Our country

Our origin

We fight to the bitter end

For we know at some point it is coming

Through persecuted alleged descriptions

Like

Toxic

Pimp

Need to be tamed

Scapegoat for most things

Though we are few

Like the Spartans of old

We fight against it all

Girded in our

Strength

Honor

Resolve

With the attitude

Don’t tread on me at all

Salute to the Men

That stand against the world on their shoulders

Prisoner of circumstance

And continue

Unapologetic-ally Living

From the chocolatezeus collection  10/7/19  ©

The Beach, Cigars and the Balance of the Dark Side

It has been a while since I wrote on this one so let's get to some more Life Unscripted.

Had a beach excursion with babycakes that was definitely needed. We chilled, ate, smoked, drank and just enjoyed the time watching the waves or just laying around. Plus she got to see the area I live in finally. The only down side was that Britt's donuts was already closed for the season dammit.

The male parental unit and his daughter are beyond comprehension, help and all. So, it is what it is and just do what a Fixer does when I have to.

A lot of discussion lately has been about dating, relations, relationships and all that with me. From the vanilla as well as the lifestyle sides.

Over these past years I have learned a lot when it comes to dealing with females, women and the others. Things that I have made sure to implement into both dating, dynamic and interactions.

I require women that can handle being a woman. That know and understand their place, importance and all with me without all the issues, drama and distance. I am not going to wait around for someone that is supposed to be an adult to decide to open their mind and heart to be able to communicate, love, understand and be involved. I wasted enough time in the past trying to get those type of individuals to reach the next level.

My take on dating is stronger than it was before I got married but I know it is possible if there is another miracle woman in existence. But I am good with not having that. I will continue to take things as they are able to handle them. Address individuals when there is an issue to see what they choose to do at that point. Run scared or step up and embrace womanhood. My time love, caring and all is way too precious to waste anymore.

I am just thankful for the lessons learned about why there is this lack of ability when it comes to dating, women and the modern age. These past 8 years have provided clarity of understanding and purpose through all that I experienced, did and endeavored

 Lifestyle wise...

Hell, things are just growing. Still not adjusted to this alleged being known thing (yeah, yeah, yeah.) More responsibilities. More travel. More learning and adventures. Add to that the girls presenting. Well babycakes presenting for the first time in the lifestyle. babycakes has been doing it for a long time already. (that's how I met her lol)

California coming up in two weeks and I am looking forward to it. Spend some time to soak up knowledge, get some debauchery in and finally meet someone I have known for a while now.

Spanksgiving next month and this one is shaping up to be one of unprecedented proportions with everyone that is supposed to be coming. My Chief of security duties will see what this entails this time

Still have to figure out where we will do our House trip before next year.

And next year is going to be something else. Both in and out of the lifestyle.

More travel, more travel, more travel!!!

The De-evolution of the Man...John Shaft

[Verse 1]
Who's the black private dick that's a sex machine to all the chicks?
(Shaft)
Ya damn right

[Verse 2]
Who is the man that would risk his neck for his brother man?
(Shaft)
Can you dig it?

[Verse 3]
Who's the cat that won't cop out when there's danger all about?
(Shaft)
Right on

[Bridge]
They say this cat Shaft is a bad mother...
(Shut your mouth)
I'm talkin' 'bout Shaft
(Then we can dig it)

[Outro]
He's a complicated man
But no one understands him but his woman
(John Shaft)





So, I had to have babycakes watch the original Shaft since she hadn't seen it and needed culture injected into her. lol  We had went to see the latest Shaft movie that came out this year and the Man barometer had to be revealed properly.

Shaft is the Man icon that stood out from all the rest. He stood up for himself, people and didn't take shit or had to be some sensitive, estrogen laden approximation of something. 

The theme lyrics even laid out the principles and understanding of being the Man's Man. Strong, intelligent, resilient, confident and driven.

And i hear the people hollering about evolution and all that rah rah. But that has nothing to do with the principles shown and lived by concerning the character.

So this 2019 version brought out the millennial and the super sensitivities that are today's modern age. 


My points:

Shaft has his child taken from him only to be blamed about everything that the mother chose to do and he decided to bow down to. And Shaft sees how his son is a creampuff with no actual experience or knowledge of life truly. Walking into a tenement in the hood like he is going to the wizard of oz proves my point. 

The fact that Shaft had to give up his son because of a choice by the mother denotes the need to lessen manhood on the screen as well as remove the thought of the nucleus of the black family unit. 

In this movie the female characters tend to do as much as they can to support negatives against the black man so that they could create the millenial shaft version that they seek due to the ability to control them and get them to conform. 


The wrap up:

i enjoyed the new movie for the entertainment. Because it was Shaft, with the original Richard Roundtree and Samuel Jackson. Add to the sexy ass rican from ny undercover and the sexy little thing that played Shaft's baby momma with the other cuties in the movie and I had a damn good time. And i will continue enjoying it as well. 

But I would be remiss not to point out the obvious attack on the black man portrayed in this. Even if it is so they can sell tickets. 

Prince's: I Rock, Therefore I Am (Perfect)

Totally feeling this jam and the message implied and overtly defined...


[Verse 1]
Uh huh
NPG to the maximum
All the time world wide
96 sound better
Legendary tune

[Chorus 1]
I rock (I rock) therefore I am (therefore I am)
I don't need you to tell me I'm in the band ([...] please)
I rock (I rock) therefore I am (therefore I am)
Right or wrong I sing my song the best I can

[Chorus 2]
I don't need you to tell me what clothes to wear
I don't want suggestions about my hair
If the whole world buys your bullshit I don't care
I'd rather put on something that you won't dare

[Verse 2]
I rock (Legendary to the maximum) (I rock)
Therefore I am (therefore I am)
I don't need you to tell me I'm in the band (I don't need it) (No)
I rock

Legendary to the maximum
NPG for now and forever

Welcome to mendacity, sign your name
See the world so pretty, wealth and fame
They can put you on the field (Yeah)
But you won't get in the game (Wo no)
How many suckers knew that before they came (Woo yeah)
Now you know

[Chorus 1]

[Verse 3]
All you mean to NPG to the maximum want you to understand something-asta
[Come/When] me say [no/love] me say unto another
Watch them attack each and every vulture
Or do you wants forget that P-R-O starts via pro
Teaching things in life you'll never know
What for they dabble they don't understand
They caught me coming from the other Minnesota
My flavour will burn their ears
Awhen it comes to music this sir is no stranger

Is the same kids you compliment
The same ones that you were meant
To rob an education from
In a private school as opposed to one
That yearly spits out another group of fools
Into a system designed to fail
Wait a minute, I just got some e-mail
Somebody selling 12 CDs for a dollar
Make me wanna holler (Yeah)
Alright to the maximum

[Chorus 2]

[Verse 4]
I rock (NPG to the maximum) (I rock)
Therefore I am (therefore I am) (Legendary)
(I don't need) I don't need you to tell me I'm in the band
I rock (I rock) therefore I am (therefore I am)
(Right or wrong) Right or wrong I sing my song
(Singing my song the best I can) the best I can
I rock (I rock) therefore I am (therefore I am)
I don't need you to tell me (I don't need)
I'm in the band (I'm in the band)
I rock (years and years)
Therefore I am (original)
Right or wrong I sing my song
(Singing my song the best I can) the best I can
Clap your hands

All I mean original for years, mon (I rock)
NPG natural, yes
[All I mean sho man]
Rock ([...]) Rock Rock
God have us mercy (I rock)
[...] mon hit 'em
(Rock) Come follow me, come follow me, come follow me, come follow
H'here we come follow me, come follow me, come follow me, come follow
(I rock) H'here we come follow me, come follow me, come follow me, come follow
H'here we come follow me, come follow me, come follow me, come follow
(I rock) H'here we come follow me, come follow me, come follow me, come follow
(Therefore I am)
H'here we come follow me, come follow me, come follow me
Watch out mon (I rock), gangsta
NPG in the original pro nation
Hear me though

Yeah
(Rock) Make some noise if you're ready
NPG rocks the city
Rugged and raw lift up your bra
Show me your titties
Don't be a dumb son
Grab your condoms and Bacardi
Here's car keys, let's party
You fake players walking streets in mean mug
I be making records getting (mmmh) in the hot tub
(Rock) In this Minneapolis snow I'm felling
Ready set to blow up like Mt. Saint Helen
On your cord snoring your flow boring
Sort of like channel 5 at 4 in the morning
(Rock) Adult [made under / [...] on the par] give up hope
Grab the devil by the throat
Make him play the scapegoat
(Rock) In the running with the bucket of cuttings
Wishing I had buckets to live like Kirby Puckett
(Rock) Here comes the rumors I'm down with NPG
I sign the contract, I'm doing the LP
But woe, what a minute bro' go slow
Ten dollars for the blow, no dollars for the ho
(Rock) In the club trick holding
Looking for a black magic [woman gang] strong [with/is] dick holding

[Chorus 1]