Throwback Thursday Poetry

I Wanna Fuck You

Damn

I see and want what I see

The way you are so thick and sweet

You must be juicy

Remember when you use to be skinny

Skinny with nice curves

Those captivating sexy eyes

And lips that made you want to suck them right

Now you done got thicker

Short sexy muthafucker

Looking at you walk

Your ass so firm and soft

Framed in black stretched pants

I need to bend you over now

Tongue in your pussy

Making you drip on the floor

You make me wanna

Wanna fuck you so hard

Thick hips and ass

Thick all the way through

I need my thick dick in you

Thoughts of exploding in you

Penetrating you while I play with nipples

Making you scream and moan

While we cum over and over again

You nice size breasts

Need to be cupped in my hands

As I devour you

Take your young tender body

Show you the ultimate tricks

Make you consumed

Bent over the couch

Long dicking your café au lait ass

Damn I want to bust so many nuts in your ass

Slide my dick between those two perfect lips

As I watch you look with mesmerizing eyes

At this incredible gift that I give

I know none of those little boys

Have fucked and sucked you like this

Turn you out

Make you understand the true meaning of pleasure

That you can be beyond mediocre

As I watch you walk in front of me

Realizing my fantasy

As it remains a dream

But damn

I wanna fuck the shit out of you

Just the same

From the chocolatezeus collection 12/8/07 ©

Among the Ramparts

I think a lot. Well a hella lot!

I feel. Even though you won't see it or know it.

I put my loved ones and those I care about first.


These factors are always in play. While at the Movenpick a couple of weeks ago I truly delved deeply into my relations, what they are, what they mean and what they represent.

I stepped back to observe, not say or do anything really or express myself. It helped me see and listen more clearly to red and bgp.  Some things are similar because of the style of woman I am interested and deal with. But each are so complex that Confucius would grin at the challenge.

Yes, I love my submissives. I care about them and I want the best for them and them to be happy (even if I get it wrong or they are not seeing it).  I am not doing D/s to make them do what I say but to maintain an established tpe dynamic in what form I have chosen with that person. red and bgp are not the same type of people, subs or relations. And I dont' treat or act on them that way.

My heart is cold as space
My love burns you like a supernova
I am the most difficult thing for you to
comprehend
understand
be with

But what I bring with my intensity are things that have a deep and long lasting meaning to me. When i say I am with you then I am with you until you have chosen that is not acceptable.

I am not trying to replace my wife.
Not asking for someone to be anything past their ability
I deal in reality and not the ideal or fantasy

You can choose your journey with me
It will be something completely unique.

I give you what you can handle and as best as you can deal with.


Deep in thought about relations and things. So speak up if you are ready and able!

Message to My Plaything

I know that I am your Teddy Bear, Daddy Dominant that loves you. Wants you to be happy, achieve and live to the fullest.

Understand the sadist that I give you is because you are not ready to handle the sadistic desires that I hold within me.

Each of those times when we began playing so long ago and you were frustrated were due to some serious safety. Your safety.

And as we play a lot harder now I still hold tight on the choke chain of my depravity. Where I rest fully and securely.

I don't want to break you. I want to destroy you completely. Re purpose you for my complete needs. Take away all the defenses, strengths and real life things.  To hold your raw essence in my hands as you look up at me sobbing and heaving.

Then and only then will we be where we should be!

A Superwoman (Chocolate Doll) Poetry tribute

One Year Ago

One Year Ago

Not an anniversary but a birthday

No one else gets multiple birthdays but I did

A day of birth, no more like a rebirth

Days of faith renewed

It’s the day we met

It’s the day I realized I loved you

It’s the day we got married

(To be sure a date that went down in infamy)

Most importantly its

The day you and me became we

No longer just you

No longer just me

Clasped hands

A sign of Unity

Wedding bands touching

The symbol of infinity

Striding off into the sunset

Leaving behind pasts we’d just as soon forget

To adventures, always full of love and seldom with regret

Here is to many more years together

365 delightful days

8,760 happy hours

525,600 memorable minutes

As I tip my crown to you

As I stand by your side

As I look upon you with pride

I Love You Zeus

Happy Anniversary Husband

2009

~ASW~   ©

Titan Fall (in memory of my Chocolate Doll)

Titan Fall

I became

A black hole that was

Sucked into another black hole

And supernova’ d at the same time

That moment I turned

To see you roll off the bed

For you not to stir

There was no word for the shock

The numbness

It is where I stayed for so long

That there was no way to

Quantify it at all

Wait this can’t be

This is supposed to be me

Not you laying here dead

You were the one

That was the bright ray of sunshine

People’s daily bread

With one orgasmic explosion

You came and went

My anchor

Their savior

My love, war and peace

Taken from me

Team Titan

The yin and the yang

My bitter and your sweet

A fairytale

Loving relationship fallacy

Dispelled

Brought to beyond reality

We defied

Everyone and everything

Titans

From face to face

Towering on that November day at the beach

To

Five guys and ben and jerrys

Type of ending

Two mythological beings

Contracted and etched

Into your

ETERNITY

From the chocoltaezeus collection  4/4/17  ©

Six Years After

Six years ago yesterday at 1am my ChocolateDoll aka my wife was pronounced dead.

I did not do anything to honor it or celebrate it. I spent my time, completely alone around other people. I drank for some hours. Went to a meet and greet i said I was going to go to and came home and realized i hadn't eaten anything at about 11pm and had apple pie.

As much as I am an evil, asshole bastard.  But it truly is shocking to others that i don't have this disdain or horror stories for marriage.  I hear these horror stories all day from everyone and how they feel so negatively about those things. Hell, the girls have their experiences and versions of negative relations and effects.

I hate dating and all the versions of it. But when it came to my wife everything was right, felt right and was right.  Through the ups and downs there was love, support, connection and unity.  It personified what a loving and caring relationship and marriage should be like. I am thankful that. Love that I had that and miss it thoroughly.

In the same token because of that I have a higher standard than the masses when it comes to that deep of a relationship, commitment and love.

For someone to have those part of me fully that i had when I was married they have to be able to accept, understand, handle and bring all of themselves to the table!

There have been thoughts and comments about the idea that I compare and trying to find a replacement to my wife.  Well I am not. There is no one that will ever be her or be close enough to replace her. Nor would I set some chick up for failure that way either.

In the aftermath I still hate dating even though I have been doing it for 3 years now.  Because it is not all that it can and should be. But I also came to understand the modern female truly has been twisted into some gnarled root that they trip over into thinking and acting negatively when it comes to dating.  With that information I formulated my safeguards, parameters and estimated outcomes.

I have two girls that love me. I love them dearly and appreciate them. I know they love me how they can, the way that they can and to the best they are capable of right now. I don't push them or ask them to be or do more than they are capable of.  Even the idea of marrying lil red remains in place if she ever decided that was something of interest.

My evolution has been one of realizing limitations, societal stigmas and how I am the anti dating, relationship and love person.  I can give the girls all the love they can handle but I can't give them more than that because it will only end in negative outlooks for them. or anyone to be exact.

The way that little one and red are probably are ChocolateDoll's damn doing anyway. She would send me something like this to make me suffer. lol

As i listen to our theme music, browse pics of how it use to beand think about my relation with red and little one I laugh at the contrast. I am thankful for the learning. Glad that I quarintine and compartmentalize really, really well! lol

Damn you Adrienne!!!!!!
lol Love You ChocolateDoll

Poetry: Where Sensations Came to Die

Where Sensations Came to Die

With each tick of the clock

Emotions and feelings

Die

Crumbling

Cascading down the drain

Gone from half life

To full choke

Denial

A heart barely recognizable

Dark and cold

Standing bold within

The blood dripping

Remnants of life’s

Existence

The light dimmed

Then died

Embracing the black hole

Left in the wake

Apathy

Uncaged

Now

A different kind of

Feeling

Emotion even

Hysterical laughter

At the transmutation

Uncaged

Unfeeling

Unemotional

Living

I am

Here

From the chocolatezeus collection  4/4/17  ©

There and Back Again

As I sit here listening to E 40 and Too Short.

Amidst thinking, contemplation and analysis. *yeah the usual...lol* I have pondered, explored and made decisions.

As deeply as I love and give apathy in equal intensity. Because of attempts to be close to some people it has detrimental effects on them. Ie lil red and little one being submissives or Ru being my fellow Road Warrior.  The experiences from this year and Amsterdam made me really decide to stand on the rampart alone. That being a Dominant means I cannot say, share or express too much. And being a friend and someone's man I still have to measure what I give out. It makes me miss the days of being married and being able to talk openly and we dealt with whatever was felt without issues and all. But this is the modern age.

My focus has been on those I am close to having support, help with whatever and them being happy. It is part of the basic core of me basically. Thus it is something that will always be the case. I do take time for myself more than I use to but still not as much as I am repeatedly told I should.

Going to Amsterdam really showed me that the thing that was important was lil red and little one being happy and doing their thing. I have avoided being selfish most of the time. Not sure if that is from the situations or merely feeling.  I stepped back and compartmentalized things even more efficiently. I looked at their needs, wants and happiness and said ok let me see what I can do to facilitate that.  And yes, I have heard the protests from them about me being happy but my happiness is something that really doesn't equate well to theirs or anyone else's. My decision was to do what was required of me as Dominant and man that cared about them, Make sure to the best of my ability they are good and doing their own thing.

Can't hold onto things that are intangible and archaic anymore. Relations are what they are today. I chose and decided.

The good and evil have morphed into this darkness. Filled with emotion, feeling and thinking. Yet, everything has to remain within the vault of my existence.

As I cherish what I have had I place everything into their monoliths.



More later

Poetry: In the Distance

In the Distance
 

Closeness

Connectivity

A sliding scale of

De-evolutionary

Experience

Words expressed

Claiming

Desire

Need

Want

To come together

Be something other

Than one against each other

I snicker and laugh

At the charade

The obvious division

In what they say

Versus what they mean

They are comfortable where they are at

But they do not want it to seem

That they don’t want to be close

It is like a helicopter

Hovering 15 feet off the ground

High enough to jump

But high enough to

Get killed

In this kill zone

Is where relations lay

Where the minefields

Reside

It is my choice

To attempt to navigate

Get blown up

Or say no thank you

Distance

The necessary piece of

Relationships and dating

From the chocolatezeus collection   4/2/17 ©

Mr Wolf's Amsterdam Adventure...Life Unscripted

Man, I was lost when it was time to go down to the restaurant to eat and drink mimosas, only to realize I was back at the house. lol  And looking out my window now is depressing in comparison to the view from the hotel room overlooking the water, ships and city.



I haven't been back to Amsterdam since I was a young kid. And the experience was one to remember for a number of reasons. And I suggest you take a trip there if you haven't for the culture, sights and everything. Had some great food, went to some great museums and had some good quality time with lil red.

The Movenpick hotel was great. A great view and pleasant staff. And an enjoyable breakfast. And I do mean a great view from the 20th floor. Definitely made me mad I missed it 2 years previously.  The staff was courteous and helpful which always makes me happy. So yes, I suggest staying there if you are going!

Each day was an adventure in sight seeing, eating and quality time together. And I love quality time! We hit a number of museums. From my favorite torture museum to the van gogh, sex museum and the rijks dutch museum.  There was so much to enjoy and see and I took it all in. Hell, I never even thought to try the Belgium waffles there. lol  But I did have great calzone and burgers and stuff.

I was graced to see lil red in her completely submissive state. To see her free and how she wanted and needed to be was incredible. She was with her dom and they played as I worked on the computer and talked to people. But I saw how she was and it truly was dynamic.  I was glad that she got her fix. The submission that she needed.

Seeing her submissive and our talk afterward made me think and solidify things with my D/s and poly. I have my feelings and things but reality is that lil red and little one have to be happy and growing in their journey regardless. I fully support that even when they may disagree with it.  I saw the things and reason that had to be shared. The place where lil red was at peace and floating. And she floated for the rest of the trip on her high which I was very happy for her. She was in subspace and out of her head and thoughts where she floated free.  Exhilarating.

A trip that started out on a dark cloud note ended with a lot of learning for me along with great sight seeing and time spent in museums with lil red.

Hell, I ended up getting a tattoo that says Mr Wolf on top and harley underneath. My first tatt that related to someone that I was with. But it marked the memory of being in Amsterdam together as well as the connection of me as Mr Wolf and when lil red becomes harley.  We both were shocked at my choice in the shop but it was important to me and purposeful.

The airport on the way out was something else though. They had a runway closed and we waited on the tarmac before take off. And security was long and tedious since they had one entrance. And having to take out all electronics and wires was not a happy time for me either.

I embarked on a journey. To get my military brat, lust and adventure needs fed.  And that was mostly handled. And very memorable.

Along with learning and digesting even more about my D/s journey.  Decisions and analysis about having submissives and taking care of it all.  Putting everything in it's place to make things appropriate.

I am very thankful for the experience, understanding, enjoyment and adventure.

Just Me Against the World

The Black Man…Public Enemy Number One

With a life expectancy

Less than it should be

Imprisonment of

Mind

Body

And soul

For each day

Each breath he takes

They want

Need to lock him in

A hole

In a suit and tie

Or jeans and a t-shirt

Their thoughts and feelings

Revealed in their eyes

Not relegated only to

Whites or blacks

But some black females

Have gotten in on the act

With life expectancies

Less than a quarter

Roadblocks at every

Portal

So

Grip your purses

Hold tight to your disdain

Claim that you understand

No matter what

It remains

The hunted

Disenfranchised

Prisoner of war

Journey of a black man

From the chocolatezeus collection  3/28/17  ©

It is cute to think that the world is this more equal and better place but I am a black man in the modern day and I can tell you that things have not changed that much.

Even with education there is the need for society and others to keep their boot on the back of my neck as much as possible. 

Add to that the struggle, conflict and same type of responses from some black females only drives home the plight of being a black man even more. 

I am educated.

World traveled.

Diverse.

Skilled.

Articulate.

These traits make them cringe and cower in fear because I am not the hood black guy with the pants off his ass slinging drugs.  I am the man giving others instructions, while maintaining multi million dollar projects.  

When we as black men move beyond what they see us as being in our place it creates a need to destroy, wage war on us and cage us to make themselves feel better.  To maintain their class and economic system. 

But the problem is that you can't stop us from growing, evolving and achieving no matter how many roadblocks you set up. Some of us won't be the complacent, endentured servants that you seek to keep 

I am a black man. 

The one thing you hunt and fear so deeply that it makes you secure everything and anything of yours because you won't always keep us underneath..

Knowledge Is Power

This has been a very educational week. Filled with learning new things as well as reinforcing analysis that already were in place.

Amsterdam has been nice. I have had a chance to step back and look at things. To be out of the country and pay homage to my past.

Relations and dynamics became fully defined this week. Without a shadow of a doubt. When evidence is presented then there leaves no room for doubts.

I am in a prepared place now. One that was forecasted and I made ready.

This week's word for both of the girls is SHARED.

Learning has been the key and here I am.

Till then...enjoy.

Moment in Poetry: Avatar of Hell

Avatar of Hell

My blood pumps to the beat

Of a slim shady and Royce 5 9

Lyrical beast

But my heart and soul

Are not in the Fastlane

But in the dead end

Vicinity

As I spit

Venomous lava

From my very

Existence

Anger and hate

Lay in the corner

Whimpering

Unable to understand

Accept

Fathom even

I am something

Another thing

The epitaph of Death

Hela’s granddaddy

Wondering if

There are any

Feelings even left

I turn to

The right

The left

Welcoming

The emptiness

From the chocolatezeus collection  3/15/17  ©