I am thankful as the year ends that a number of people and things have been excommunicated. Lessons learned.
I will never deal with someone so fucked up and mentally damaged.
No to the tree hugging, non cooking whiney chicks from the north.
If you can't be real and honest then stop whining and playing the victim.
I am not nor will I ever be captain save a hoe or a sub.
Being shown why as a Dominant you habe to be careful about trust and being with a sub was bery evident.
Just like the vanilla world there are crazy, fucked up in the head chicks that need to only be in their own little fucked up world.
I don't trust monkeys or hoes.
Definitely not going to cater the unworthy.
I don't negotiate woth terrorists.
And I am thankful for the dead weight, unintelligent, psychotic females that have been removed from my existence.
This has made me very glad I was wary about these individuals and kept everything in check. You can see the frauds when the fire is hot amd they can't handle it. They have to run because that is all they know. And I glad to let them crawl back into their bed bug and rat infested existence.
The joy of being rid of them all is delightful!
Here to tantilize and create unique and interesting thoughts and comments through poetry, short story and my general Explicit nature.
Monday, December 19, 2016
Sunday, December 18, 2016
Rollercoaster Week Recap
The last week has been interesting. Well actually the last two weeks have been. Plenty of things revealed, thought about, learn and discussed.
I had a great discussion with an author, screen writer and producer named Kamuela Kaneshir. We talked about being and maintaining creativity in writing as well as how movies and tv shows have no originality anymore. He turned me on to a new book series to read called Discworld. And I have been reading his master thesis called Genre Analysis: The Gangster, The Evolved Detective and The Dark Knight, which I have enjoyed thoroughly and see why it has been used in college courses. It was enlightening since I have written poetry most of my life and a few stories as well.
Talking with lil Tigger has been in depth. Talking to a fellow poet, someone who understands the dark side a bit and has known me for over a decade makes for plenty of great conversations. We talked a lot about dating, relationships and atrocity of life today. We agreed on how silly it is to make someone wait around for years before you open up and actually commit to them. Then wonder why their interest has waned or disappeared. She is still a little spitfire that is for sure since the time we met years ago. It is hard to believe that she will be 60 next year though and looks like she is in her 40s.
There have been plenty of discussions about identities in the lifestyle. I have talked about it with veterans on both sides of the slash and more. Personally I do not see brats, pets and things like those that are all listed on fet and everywhere as an identity. I see those as personalities and not identities. Of course it is not popular with many but oh well. I have two babygirls and I am a Daddy Dominant to them when they exhibit those personalities. (rare as they may be...lol) Originally I was against being called a Daddy Dominant because of the connotation and outlook. But then I realized that I have been that for a very long time, even before I started in this lifestyle. First and foremost I am a Dominant, then I am Daddy Dominant to them. So yes mine can curl up, play, color and all with, me the Evil One.
little one has been going through it. So, there have been plenty of things to adjust and guide. I am hoping that she can enjoy her love of the holiday more. And me being direct in supporting her poly lifestyle has been taken harshly because of how I am a direct communicator. But she will work on understanding that more.
lil red is her usual weird self. I have to say that there has been some learning lately about her since now she is more available. Bringing harley out definitely helped (licking lips wickedly). Discussions about the past and future have occurred a tiny bit which is a big difference from the nonchalant, closed off way things have been. Progress is a good thing. She has made an effort which was very important and necessary. We will see what will be next on the learning and experience train. But I look forward to time together. I want another Mr Wolf and harley episode!
The parental units have really changed the landscape of being here. So there is no peace. And it made me miss my family. (family was my wife and is my aunt) There have been concern because I am not in a holiday spirit but I normally am not that way. Well, I haven't been that way since I was married. I think I want to support the troops on Christmas maybe next year if I get a chance like I use to do as a kid.
My anger remains at a supernova level. My heart and soul are somewhere out there in the universe. Love is like an assassination. And life unscripted only get's crazier.
I am sure there will be more later. But for now will leave it here.
Wednesday, December 07, 2016
Relating: The Life Unscripted Way
They call me a teddy bear. I am more like a prehistoric bear with the ability to be a teddy bear if you are worth it and warrant it. I do come with references that will let you know the alternative to the teddy bear mentality. They are on the excommunicated and monkey lists.
Good conversation, attention, involvement and working on what we have are the things that keep me at peace and comfortable.
My girl and I talk about the silly stuff, psychology and craziness. Because that is the comfort level between us. We can talk about much of the things that can't be discussed with someone else without issues galore.
My sub, we discuss the relation stuff that she has with her dating stuff and things. Act a little silly at times.
Then I have the things I share with Ru. It is almost everything since she is the closest to me until someone else decides to be in that circle that isn't her. But this is where I can be myself and say whatever without attitude, female interpretation or anything else crazy.
But I had to laugh talking to pegasus and lil bear lately. From talking about getting married to why we can't stand the other genders. We discuss the past and all the silly things that we have done together and experienced. These were conversations that were fun and crazy without a filter.
I am content with my relations. They are where they are and the individuals are doing and at a place where they can handle things and I don't expect anything more from them. People function at their ability and level.
Understanding.
Acceptance.
Yes...Life Unscripted.
you have no clue! lol
Good conversation, attention, involvement and working on what we have are the things that keep me at peace and comfortable.
My girl and I talk about the silly stuff, psychology and craziness. Because that is the comfort level between us. We can talk about much of the things that can't be discussed with someone else without issues galore.
My sub, we discuss the relation stuff that she has with her dating stuff and things. Act a little silly at times.
Then I have the things I share with Ru. It is almost everything since she is the closest to me until someone else decides to be in that circle that isn't her. But this is where I can be myself and say whatever without attitude, female interpretation or anything else crazy.
But I had to laugh talking to pegasus and lil bear lately. From talking about getting married to why we can't stand the other genders. We discuss the past and all the silly things that we have done together and experienced. These were conversations that were fun and crazy without a filter.
I am content with my relations. They are where they are and the individuals are doing and at a place where they can handle things and I don't expect anything more from them. People function at their ability and level.
Understanding.
Acceptance.
Yes...Life Unscripted.
you have no clue! lol
Tuesday, December 06, 2016
Another recipient of the monkey bitch award
I had to laugh when I saw the notification.
Realized that a fucked up ex once again decided to join the monkey bitch universe.
It really wasn't that shocking. When you are sensitive, damaged female that is a brat and only wants to have their way then you have to expect the proclivity to become one with the rest of the fucked up females.
Just say no to fucked up, clueless, sensitive females and find you a woman. It is worth it and less issues, drama and psychosis!
Marking the new monkey bitch name down on the monkey bitch list.
oh, what a wonderful thing!
Realized that a fucked up ex once again decided to join the monkey bitch universe.
It really wasn't that shocking. When you are sensitive, damaged female that is a brat and only wants to have their way then you have to expect the proclivity to become one with the rest of the fucked up females.
Just say no to fucked up, clueless, sensitive females and find you a woman. It is worth it and less issues, drama and psychosis!
Marking the new monkey bitch name down on the monkey bitch list.
oh, what a wonderful thing!
Wednesday, November 30, 2016
My Protocol Journey
Protocol
In bdsm the way that hiearchy is shown and maintained.
Starting out last year with creating protocols for the two submissives it was a matter of thinking, implementing and cobbling together things.
I didn't create high protocols because I wasn't expecting to be at community events with the two I had for a while. That way they could become comfortable with the protocols that I have given them.
The protocols established their position in the dynamic. Besides maintaining low protocol to be accustomed to things it was there for reasons of safety, accountability and situational.
My protocol examples:
Documenting your movement to me. Meaning, letting me know when you are leaving to go somewhere and when you arrive and where. This is a matter of safety and attention to scheduling and things that need to be done. There was some backlash from this from the previous submissive but that merely reinforced my requirement for it.
Eating and exercising protocols:
These are in place to maintain nutritional and physical balance for health. I want them to make sure they are eating properly and maintaining a proper diet. The exercising is to promote a healthy body.
Communication:
Put in place to communicate with me fully and properly. To speak after asking to speak. To not hold back things from me. Here is where things grow, are explored and addressed.
Service:
Those things I require you to do. From the housekeeping to when I ask you to bake me some cookies and send them to me. Tasks and needs that I make known will be followed. This is where you are my service whore. That doesn't mean sex. Service is honoring our dynamic and you as my submissive.
These three things are a few examples.
My protocols have been seen as difficult. But that is just because of their dominant personalities in their vanilla life. But it is a change in their lives and that is not an easy thing. Change is not easy. Especially for those that are use to calling the shots and getting their way. That is why I don't deal with bratty females.
Well...
Just a little insight to protocols and my journey in it. Next year there will be more protocols I am sure since you have to grow and develop.
Until then
Obey the Order of My Chaos
In bdsm the way that hiearchy is shown and maintained.
Starting out last year with creating protocols for the two submissives it was a matter of thinking, implementing and cobbling together things.
I didn't create high protocols because I wasn't expecting to be at community events with the two I had for a while. That way they could become comfortable with the protocols that I have given them.
The protocols established their position in the dynamic. Besides maintaining low protocol to be accustomed to things it was there for reasons of safety, accountability and situational.
My protocol examples:
Documenting your movement to me. Meaning, letting me know when you are leaving to go somewhere and when you arrive and where. This is a matter of safety and attention to scheduling and things that need to be done. There was some backlash from this from the previous submissive but that merely reinforced my requirement for it.
Eating and exercising protocols:
These are in place to maintain nutritional and physical balance for health. I want them to make sure they are eating properly and maintaining a proper diet. The exercising is to promote a healthy body.
Communication:
Put in place to communicate with me fully and properly. To speak after asking to speak. To not hold back things from me. Here is where things grow, are explored and addressed.
Service:
Those things I require you to do. From the housekeeping to when I ask you to bake me some cookies and send them to me. Tasks and needs that I make known will be followed. This is where you are my service whore. That doesn't mean sex. Service is honoring our dynamic and you as my submissive.
These three things are a few examples.
My protocols have been seen as difficult. But that is just because of their dominant personalities in their vanilla life. But it is a change in their lives and that is not an easy thing. Change is not easy. Especially for those that are use to calling the shots and getting their way. That is why I don't deal with bratty females.
Well...
Just a little insight to protocols and my journey in it. Next year there will be more protocols I am sure since you have to grow and develop.
Until then
Obey the Order of My Chaos
Your torture is my Peace...I Am a SADIST!
I am a sadist obviously if you have read enough by now. And it is a delicious intoxicant that brings me peace, happiness and so much pleasure. Many have no understanding of this. The base of primal expression and pleasure.
When I had the adventure with the awakening of harley this year I stepped past the boundary that I had set up previously. Because my sadistic needs, nature and want are a deep well inside of Alice's rabbit hole. That moment when I saw and felt harley be released the Beast growled and grinned. The Beast had a bigger taste than it had previously and wanted to go into Warp Factor 20.
Each moment I looked at her as I flogged, punished her pussy and twisted her body my carnal desires, excitment and ecstasy screamed with glee. I looked into her dark eyes while I choked her and pulled her hair and saw that grip of fear, pleasure and pain made me want to go Super Saiyan on her.
The whole entire time I was in ecstasy. Wanting to give more and more pain and distress. I just want to hurt and break harley FULLY! Do all these nasty, humiliating and debasing things to her. I long to use her so fully that all she can do is curl up and let the tears flow when I finish. Whimpering and deeply lost in subspace and linked fully to me, finally.
You can say that this fed my craving and only made it stronger. So now I am chomping at the bit to take the next scene a lot further.
*licking my lips and my mind drooling*
I just can't wait for another intimate and pleasure filled meeting.
When I had the adventure with the awakening of harley this year I stepped past the boundary that I had set up previously. Because my sadistic needs, nature and want are a deep well inside of Alice's rabbit hole. That moment when I saw and felt harley be released the Beast growled and grinned. The Beast had a bigger taste than it had previously and wanted to go into Warp Factor 20.
Each moment I looked at her as I flogged, punished her pussy and twisted her body my carnal desires, excitment and ecstasy screamed with glee. I looked into her dark eyes while I choked her and pulled her hair and saw that grip of fear, pleasure and pain made me want to go Super Saiyan on her.
The whole entire time I was in ecstasy. Wanting to give more and more pain and distress. I just want to hurt and break harley FULLY! Do all these nasty, humiliating and debasing things to her. I long to use her so fully that all she can do is curl up and let the tears flow when I finish. Whimpering and deeply lost in subspace and linked fully to me, finally.
You can say that this fed my craving and only made it stronger. So now I am chomping at the bit to take the next scene a lot further.
*licking my lips and my mind drooling*
I just can't wait for another intimate and pleasure filled meeting.
Come Feed the Beast
I lick my lips
Dipped in visions
Carnal anticipation
Your pain
My pleasure
Your fear
My liquor
Your distress
My peace
My longing
To break you
Take away all that
makes you
Leaving behind
Your independent,
intelligent
Womanhood
Broken
Beaten
As I look into your
Eyes clouded with
fear
The marks upon your
skin
Each cringe in
anticipation of
The next implement
strike
We are in an altered
State of being
An intimacy of
Alpha and omega
Intensity
Feed me
Keep feeding me
Increase my
Insatiability
I smile and grin
Endlessly
As I can’t wait
For the next scene
You and me
Entwined intimately
From the pain
inflicted
So deliciously
Craving deeply
Awaiting the next
time
I can work on
Breaking you
Completely
From the
chocolatezeus collection 11/30/16 ©
Monday, November 28, 2016
Na na na na na Batman: the Return of the Caped Crusaders review
This was an animation tribute to the old style batman and robin series.
Here is your spoiler alert before reading any further.
We had the old style batmobile. The rhyming word choices and all. lol
Even the whole moral story line.
They used the basic characters from the original series. The main ones were the Joker, Riddler, Penguin and Catwoman. They looked just like the show with the Joker in his purple suit and all.
This was an interesting remake because it reminded me of the tv show and how it always had a moral to the story and values to be learned and kept. Batman and Robin are being the deputized civil servants that we saw in the old series. Following all the laws. (Well, except speeding in the chase scenes...lol)
The interesting thing was when Batman was poisoned by Catwoman and turned his morality code off. When he decides to take over Gotham and then the world with replicas of him it shows the duality of who Batman is and why him and the Joker are the same. Batman becomes very direct and violent in this role. Giving way to his primal instincts and goal of achieving the removal of lawlessness. Hell, he even pimped out the batmobile. lmao
As usual he has a contingency plan in place for being turned and is saved by Alfred. But up to that point it is funny and shows why there is the Dark Knight storyline.
Many of the original cast that are still alive did their own voice overs in this. Of course Adam West reprised his Batman role. They even had a vision of the different catwomen at one point. Even to include the sexy Eartha Kitt version.
But the most comedy was watching the bat dance at the closing credits and in the movie when he is performing for himself and the audience. Combine that with Catwoman basically doing the "rumpshaker" during the closing credits and you got some entertainment. lol
This is definitely a good remake. Shows where the show began and how it is so different today.
Check it out for yourself and reminisce.
Here is your spoiler alert before reading any further.
We had the old style batmobile. The rhyming word choices and all. lol
Even the whole moral story line.
They used the basic characters from the original series. The main ones were the Joker, Riddler, Penguin and Catwoman. They looked just like the show with the Joker in his purple suit and all.
This was an interesting remake because it reminded me of the tv show and how it always had a moral to the story and values to be learned and kept. Batman and Robin are being the deputized civil servants that we saw in the old series. Following all the laws. (Well, except speeding in the chase scenes...lol)
The interesting thing was when Batman was poisoned by Catwoman and turned his morality code off. When he decides to take over Gotham and then the world with replicas of him it shows the duality of who Batman is and why him and the Joker are the same. Batman becomes very direct and violent in this role. Giving way to his primal instincts and goal of achieving the removal of lawlessness. Hell, he even pimped out the batmobile. lmao
As usual he has a contingency plan in place for being turned and is saved by Alfred. But up to that point it is funny and shows why there is the Dark Knight storyline.
Many of the original cast that are still alive did their own voice overs in this. Of course Adam West reprised his Batman role. They even had a vision of the different catwomen at one point. Even to include the sexy Eartha Kitt version.
But the most comedy was watching the bat dance at the closing credits and in the movie when he is performing for himself and the audience. Combine that with Catwoman basically doing the "rumpshaker" during the closing credits and you got some entertainment. lol
This is definitely a good remake. Shows where the show began and how it is so different today.
Check it out for yourself and reminisce.
You Can Get with this or you can get with that (Black Sheep)...Week Recap
The week definitely had it's range of motion. From craziness to annoyance and the need to restructure. Thanksgiving rolled on by nice and peacefully thank you very much. That meant no parental units, relatives I don't want to be bothered with or other humans. All I did was hit my Aunts house and see them and my cousin down from jersey. And his girl reminded me about the reason why I have a don't bother with ny or nj females policy. lmao
People were still concerned about me being alone. But even when I am with people, in relations and all i am still alone and it is fine. I don't have them issues. Which brought up a good convo my gurl JD and I were having. *evil laughter*
JD and I were discussing dating, marriage and the differences with genders and things today. She is older than I am and had her experiences and i have had my crazy Life Unscripted.
So we talked about people claiming relations and they only want situations. Or playing the waiting game for years until they make up their mind a decade down the road. These are the way of the people out there. I am the opposition to it all because I make a decision, state what I think, feel and the goal, then drop the mic and let you decide how to take the information. I did that previously and I did it with the two chicks I am involved with now.
Here are the issues with posturing and doing the hurry up wait routine when comes to relations or even pretend relations. It only weakens anything that you may have thought you had after a period of time without interest, maintenance and progress. After a time period people get bored with being on hold and that is it and will move on or diminish things. The posturing happens because females are mortified about being vulnerable and or rejected. So they want that sit back, wait and let me run you through hoops to try and make myself feel better type of situation. Just stop being scared. Take chances and live instead of cowering.
Trying to select gifts for the two is difficult because they are difficult. lol So have to come up with two christmas gifts and one birthday. I have already picked out options. And that was especially necessary for ms indiana. lol
Drinking, eating and smoking. That sounds like the best plan until I can get some steady sex and play added to the mix on a regular basis. Not getting my needs fed much makes me a super evil, angry, violent, mega horny, black man. No apologies given!
On that note i am going to look at my videos and think about how I need to destroy, break and dismember harley mentally and physically to my delicious delight and personal pleasure.
Sayonnara
People were still concerned about me being alone. But even when I am with people, in relations and all i am still alone and it is fine. I don't have them issues. Which brought up a good convo my gurl JD and I were having. *evil laughter*
JD and I were discussing dating, marriage and the differences with genders and things today. She is older than I am and had her experiences and i have had my crazy Life Unscripted.
So we talked about people claiming relations and they only want situations. Or playing the waiting game for years until they make up their mind a decade down the road. These are the way of the people out there. I am the opposition to it all because I make a decision, state what I think, feel and the goal, then drop the mic and let you decide how to take the information. I did that previously and I did it with the two chicks I am involved with now.
Here are the issues with posturing and doing the hurry up wait routine when comes to relations or even pretend relations. It only weakens anything that you may have thought you had after a period of time without interest, maintenance and progress. After a time period people get bored with being on hold and that is it and will move on or diminish things. The posturing happens because females are mortified about being vulnerable and or rejected. So they want that sit back, wait and let me run you through hoops to try and make myself feel better type of situation. Just stop being scared. Take chances and live instead of cowering.
Trying to select gifts for the two is difficult because they are difficult. lol So have to come up with two christmas gifts and one birthday. I have already picked out options. And that was especially necessary for ms indiana. lol
Drinking, eating and smoking. That sounds like the best plan until I can get some steady sex and play added to the mix on a regular basis. Not getting my needs fed much makes me a super evil, angry, violent, mega horny, black man. No apologies given!
On that note i am going to look at my videos and think about how I need to destroy, break and dismember harley mentally and physically to my delicious delight and personal pleasure.
Sayonnara
Friday, November 25, 2016
Thanks...No Giving
I was appreciative of people being worried and concerned about me spending the day by myself. I don't think they quite understood that it was just fine for me. I haven't been concerned about spending time with someone on thanksgiving since I was married and when I was dating my wife. I am not with anyone like that now so it really doesn't even enter my mind at all.
A nice quiet day was spent with me eating and drinking. I didn't even turn the tv on at all. Enjoying ribs, swan, dressing and tater salad.
Wasn't even planning on leaving the house outside of the yard to smoke. But since my cousin was down with his girlfriend from nj I figured I would swing out to bolivia and see him at Auntie's.
Of course thinking was in full effect during the quietness along with working on some models. Plus I had to go over the jobs I have applied to all over the world.
Change has come and yelled Domino Bitch!
It is time to reconstitute life and get back to being the Ultimate Me. Had to step back and understand my mistakes and lack of strictness in life recently.
So, it is all good. Looking forward to more travel and re-established adventures of Life Unscripted.
As I blow smoke. Wish you well. PSSITA!!
A nice quiet day was spent with me eating and drinking. I didn't even turn the tv on at all. Enjoying ribs, swan, dressing and tater salad.
Wasn't even planning on leaving the house outside of the yard to smoke. But since my cousin was down with his girlfriend from nj I figured I would swing out to bolivia and see him at Auntie's.
Of course thinking was in full effect during the quietness along with working on some models. Plus I had to go over the jobs I have applied to all over the world.
Change has come and yelled Domino Bitch!
It is time to reconstitute life and get back to being the Ultimate Me. Had to step back and understand my mistakes and lack of strictness in life recently.
So, it is all good. Looking forward to more travel and re-established adventures of Life Unscripted.
As I blow smoke. Wish you well. PSSITA!!
Wednesday, November 23, 2016
Burger King Submissives, dommes and female dominants...oh my LMFAO
I have personally interacted with subs, dommes and female dominants and find it educational and entertaining.
Submissives that want to whine, complain and be brats to get their way. Saying that they are not happy and that a Dominant needs to change what they already explained and negotiated with them. Hmmm, that sounds like you are just not adult enough to discuss, express, negotiate or act appropriately. Whether in vanilla life or D/s I really am not the man that a female will be able to control or remake.
dommes, female dominants or whatever else they want to call themselves need to get a grip and understand what being a Dominant truly is. I am not addressing those that actually are Dominants and females, merely the pretenders. For the pretenders it is time to stop coming up to someone and telling them that they are a submissive for stupid reasons like they asked you a question or because you said so. And the classic getting upset because I don't address female dominants in my general discussions where I use the word Dominant need to stop. You are trying to hard so you are merely a fucking fraud.
Know yourself. Step up and be honest with yourself so you can be honest with someone else. If there are things that you are not sure about or are interested in then say that no matter how far fetched it may be.
Some are not meant to be submissives, some are great ones and others have to figure out how they are one for themselves. I have come across and experienced the whole gamut.
So step up, learn and be yourself.
This burger king, have it your way bullshit only makes you a loser.
Submissives that want to whine, complain and be brats to get their way. Saying that they are not happy and that a Dominant needs to change what they already explained and negotiated with them. Hmmm, that sounds like you are just not adult enough to discuss, express, negotiate or act appropriately. Whether in vanilla life or D/s I really am not the man that a female will be able to control or remake.
dommes, female dominants or whatever else they want to call themselves need to get a grip and understand what being a Dominant truly is. I am not addressing those that actually are Dominants and females, merely the pretenders. For the pretenders it is time to stop coming up to someone and telling them that they are a submissive for stupid reasons like they asked you a question or because you said so. And the classic getting upset because I don't address female dominants in my general discussions where I use the word Dominant need to stop. You are trying to hard so you are merely a fucking fraud.
Know yourself. Step up and be honest with yourself so you can be honest with someone else. If there are things that you are not sure about or are interested in then say that no matter how far fetched it may be.
Some are not meant to be submissives, some are great ones and others have to figure out how they are one for themselves. I have come across and experienced the whole gamut.
So step up, learn and be yourself.
This burger king, have it your way bullshit only makes you a loser.
Sunday, November 20, 2016
Poetic Relevance: At One With the Void
At One With the Void
The darkness
Coats
Cloaked in the
coldness
Peering into the
Emptiness
Remnants of
Times and memories
Are they supposed to
Soothe me?
Their existence
Merely the petri dish
Underneath life’s
Microscope
Each feeling
Peeled back
Exposed
Emotional content
Decompressed
Every intimate
connect
Sucked out of the
Airlock of existence
Observing from
outside
Others feelings and
emotions
Tilting my head at
their
Self-evident irrelevances
A place
Where I will never be
This void is where I
will be
Comfortable
Peacefully
From the
chocolatezeus collection 11/20/16 ©
Ronin: Life Unscripted
Rōnin
A rōnin was a samurai with no lord or master during the feudal period of Japan. A samurai became masterless from the death or fall of his master, or after the loss of his master's favor or privilege.
This truly fits. It has fit since I lived in Japan and has become even more so currently than in the past.
in my life I apply universal principles when it comes to dating, vanilla and D/s relations. These things are my own and designed for and by me.
- I am not changing who and what I am to make you feel better about yourself. Accept and understand.
- I have chosen you for a specific role in my life.
- We will be together for as long as you choose to maintain, work on and cherish our relation.
- There will be no chasing after you before, during or after we interact.
- Any interpretation or comparison to others will be incorrect. So get to know me for me.
- You will not get your way. So bratty, whining females need not apply for an application.
- if it doesn't work out, then we won't be friends and all close. We can be cordial if things were not violated but close or friends will not be an option.
These and some other things have been core values and tend to serve me rather well. Well, expect when I go out on a limb and do experiments I shouldn't have. But that is part of the ole college and boy scout try.
Looking at relations, dynamics and what was I realized I let so much slide. I was so lenient about things that really put things in disarray from the beginning. Letting things go in negotiations because I felt it wasn't as important as the experience. Agreeing to things that were not ideal for me. Well, no need to cry over spilled milk. It all happened and i learned. So when it is time for me to get a sub and a slave then things will be in a more proper perspective.
I even had to re-evaluate the status of the D/s dynamic I had and the dating issues. Realizing this is where things are and where I let them go. Semper Fi motherfucker!!!
In my relations compartmentalization is such a terrible word for them. They cringe, guesstimate and try to anticipate what will happen. And that anticipation has been what has really caused a lot of issue. I compartmentalize and adjust things constantly. Because things have to be tweaked in order to work and function at their best efficiency.
In compartmentalizing I don't express much. Hell, I express even less than I already do not express. And that level has gone back to what it was before i was married. Even with my Ru. It was weird at first but I realized I was using outdated and expired data in a completely different situation.
I realize it is hard for the two that I deal with to accept and understand how I am. And they have come a long way from back in the day. And i am thankful for their effort and attempts. Bless their hearts.
The journey continues. And this ABM continues rolling along like the Battle of the Bulge.
"I am not paying for the same real estate twice!!"
-Gen. George S. Patton-
Tuesday, November 15, 2016
Poetic Memory: 8 Years
8 Years
Time flies
When there isn’t
Any
Cue up
Etta James’
At Last
So that the fairy
tale can
Begin
The sunlight shown
bright
Bathed in your
Curves
Devastating smile
Captivated
I could hear the
Gasps, oohhs and ahhs
Then the heartfelt
Cries
The sounds created by
strangers
Sunbathing on the
beach
The Calla Lilly Queen
Friend and lover of
most things
Beloved among the
masses
Coming to be with me
The evil, demon, ABM
King
Hated and detested
for so many things
Chauvinist and anti-human
being
Like two towers
There upon the beach
We stood
Towering
As the waves crashed
The sobs were heard
Time etched in
eternity
As I accepted fully
That I had found my
eternity
Her purity
My depravity
Joined by two rings
Burning incandescently
In the fiery pits of
Mordor
We became
The One Ring
Holy grail achieved
The Titans
Angelic Queen
Evil, Demonic King
From the
chocolatezeus collection 11/15/16 ©
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