There has been issues, backlash, dismay that I have different circles that pertain to my life and those that are in it or interact with me.
The circles are labels given to levels of connection with me. And they have definitely been tested and proven this past weeks worth of time.
If you are unable to be open with me and you have your defenses up so you can keep your distance then I keep you in the outer circle until you leave.
The inner circle means that you have invested more and may actually want to be around for longer than a minute or two. But you are still looking from the outside some time so I understand that and keep you here.
The inner sanctum is where those that I am close to and can accept, understand and appreciate me and all that is me reside. The place where all of me is present and accounted for without a doubt and you are invested in the same way.
Lastly there is the throne room. And this is where the true achiever resides in splendor.
The circles are what you are comfortable with when it comes to me. So you choose that path. You get to be more special than whoever is in a circle further out or not at all.
Everyone doesn't get the same treatment. Everyone doesn't connect in the same way or with the same intensity either. Just like any evaluation. You are analyzed and placed accordingly into or out of my life.
So there is the explanation
Sunday, September 11, 2016
Poetic Realization: My Master Chief Mentality
My Master Chief Mentality
I look upon the world
Through my unchanged
Presence
Unreadable
Unpredictable
I am merely
A Noh mask
Showing you fully
While dashing your
normalcies
Against the jagged
rocks of
Your mental
capacities
I am the armed
Black hole
Abyss
Of your pretension
Historic expectations
One man
Singular in purpose
Original design
I lead
Protect and serve
Give both
Love and apathy
Disconnected
So that positions and
roles
Are preserved
Behind this polarized
face plate
Regardless of what
you cannot
See, interpret or
prognosticate
Remains
The same person
That cares, loves,
protects
And treats you
Better than
That populace
Or
Would you like to
change?
Be the enemy
So you can understand
The other side of Hell’s,
Hell
Grunts
Silence
Stoicism
All part of the
duties
That I entail
But if you are with
me
There is nothing to
Fear
From the
chocolatezeus collection 9/11/16 ©
Saturday, September 10, 2016
Poetic Reasoning: Meaningless Irrelevance
Meaningless Irrelevance
Connected together
Established intimate
relationships
Merely smoke and
mirrors
An ultimate myth
Dangled carrots
Of
Get to know me
Let time drift along
endless
So maybe there is a
chance of
This meaning
something
I am calling bullshit
It is evident this is
a struggle in
Personal ego
fortification
Wrapped up in
Alleged
Importance
Relationships are
like
A Viking funeral pyre
Floating down the river
burning
Hoping that you will
enter
Valhalla
So you walk through
the valley of death
Unarmed and
outnumbered
Battling each monster
In search of the Holy
Grail
Which is basically
Just a
Grail lamp
The Holy Grail
Remains unattainable
On purpose
The way they have
made it
From the
chocolatezeus collection 9/9/16 ©
Wednesday, September 07, 2016
The Last Few Hours of the Road Warriors...This Time
As my trip here to Houston comes to a close I take the last couple of hours to prepare to return to the insanity of life back in NC. Reality has already shown itself since I have been here. Especially in the last couple of days. But I got a respite from it all so I could relax a bit, chill and think.
Laughing last night during the seafood extravaganza over crazy females, memories and just how I am definitely made the night memorable.
Things to remember this trip by
Laughing last night during the seafood extravaganza over crazy females, memories and just how I am definitely made the night memorable.
Things to remember this trip by
- The Claw (ctfu)
- Jiffy Nigga!
- Bombay pass out
- Scaring the sales chick at the bra shop about eating swan and bear
- The oblong trying on wedding dresses
- Bald headed ninja turtle chick
Yes, the entertainment and laughter was priceless as always when I am with my Ru.
The best part was relaxing. For once we weren't driving all over the world during my visit. I got to sit back and just chill. We laughed and cut up. We ate plenty of good food and of course I did my thing as the bestie and caused chaos and dismay. lmao
So it is time to pack to get ready to go. Grab food and stop and get some kolaches to go. Yep, I am carrying some home with me this time.
I will see you after I come down from the friendly skies this evening.
Oh, and I smoked plenty of cigars. The difference was it wasn't because I was stressed. it was because I could relax and enjoy them and my time. Shout out to the Serious Cigar shop for turning me on to a new short stick. The Rorshach. Just the thing for someone mentally deranged and turns people I come in contact with into Arkham Assylum attendees. lmao
Tuesday, September 06, 2016
Marriage, Chasing and this Modern Day Relation Thing
There have been some interesting discussions with Rae, Pegasus, the girls and other females lately on all aspects of relations and relationship subjects.
From discussions of chasing females to the comment of telling the female parental unit that she was my future wife jokingly (lol she wouldn't have survived that or liked me if she had did that.)
It is hard for most to grasp my approach to dating, marriage and my relationships. So I will attempt an intro course.
Interest in you
I know females are aversion to vulnerability and rejection. Even though men are accustom to these things. (Where is that equality factor here?) For me I like a woman to know what she wants and acts on it. That means that we express that we are interested and make an effort to find out if we will work well together. We both make an executive decision in this situation. Because I hate hounding a female ie chasing them while they wait on whatever crazy schedule and rules they have in their head that only makes sense to them. And the other option which I like is to approach me and tell me your interest.
Society has laid down all this asinine crap about what people should do when it comes to relationships and dating. And frankly it is stupid because they cannot think for themselves. So, they are like lambs to the slaughter each and every day.
Add to that the chasm of differences between females and me and you have the ultimate clusterfuck at all times. So there has to be a lot of communication, understanding and acceptance. I am not who or what you had previously. I think and act in my own way.
Being with you
If I have told, shown and maintained an emotional and relationship attachment to you then I am with you. Whatever level you are at and can handle is where things are at.
I will worry and care about you. Even when you want to attempt to be argumentative about it. If I didn't then there would be no us at all.
My attraction to you won't waver as long as we are together unless you choose to do something to derail that. I do not get involved with anyone I am not attracted to physically and mentally.
We can work anything out and keep a strong relation. Or we can just let things ride and it is whatever it is going to be. Once again this is not a forced issue at all.
My take on relationships
Relationships for me has different levels. And that is because everyone cannot be treated the same way because they are not in the same place or status. I know some will disagree with this because of the ideology of this utopia style that should be present in relations but that is not reality.
The levels go from wife to girlfriend to fwb. It is because of the difference in commitment and longevity. In a society that holds marriage at a high standard this is normal. And for me being the wife means that we are closer than anyone else could possibly be. The wives are the ones who are one with you at the upper echelon of relationships.
I have always treated girlfriends and those I have been involved with as more than a friend well. And I will continue to do so. I just don't treat them like they are one of my wives. Is that wrong? Not for me. It merely is the hierarchy that I have chose to maintain and cultivate in my life.
Relationships have become so disposable that it is hard to put anything substantial or permanent in them most of the time. Most of the time it is a matter of enjoy the ride for as long as it lasts. And honestly that is sad, but the mentality that most have in these modern times. I don't want anything disposable. It has never been what I looked for in a relationship. I have used the Build a Bitch program when I have adhered to the disposable relationship ideology. And that was to get a few things between different females in order to get some form of satisfaction as a whole since I didn't have a relationship at the time.
I can give my heart and make a relationship deeply meaningful and rewarding. But that cannot be just given out to each and everyone. So you do the "get to know you dance." Waiting until you get a sign of which way things may go. That is the way of dating and trying to establishing relationships.
My preference for establishing relationships is communicating the interest and what is wanted and then getting to know each other. I am blunt about what I see, want and foresee so it is not an issue for me. I am the one that has seen and said that "you are the one I could marry." And that was what I meant no matter how they felt, what they thought or inferred from it. So I don't do all the chasing. The calling to see if you are still interested and want to spend time. If you are a woman then you will say and make the same effort that I am.
Females these days seem to be so deep into the fraudulent "think and act like a man" fantasy that it really has fucked things up. It takes strength and confidence to speak on what you want and make it happen. And that is what I like in a woman.
Closing the door
Relationships are what you make out of them. If you don't put any effort in, sit back waiting on your imaginary time table for things to go your way then you will miss out. Achieve and work for what you want and need. If you don't then leave relationships alone and do your situationships so you can be happy.
From discussions of chasing females to the comment of telling the female parental unit that she was my future wife jokingly (lol she wouldn't have survived that or liked me if she had did that.)
It is hard for most to grasp my approach to dating, marriage and my relationships. So I will attempt an intro course.
Interest in you
I know females are aversion to vulnerability and rejection. Even though men are accustom to these things. (Where is that equality factor here?) For me I like a woman to know what she wants and acts on it. That means that we express that we are interested and make an effort to find out if we will work well together. We both make an executive decision in this situation. Because I hate hounding a female ie chasing them while they wait on whatever crazy schedule and rules they have in their head that only makes sense to them. And the other option which I like is to approach me and tell me your interest.
Society has laid down all this asinine crap about what people should do when it comes to relationships and dating. And frankly it is stupid because they cannot think for themselves. So, they are like lambs to the slaughter each and every day.
Add to that the chasm of differences between females and me and you have the ultimate clusterfuck at all times. So there has to be a lot of communication, understanding and acceptance. I am not who or what you had previously. I think and act in my own way.
Being with you
If I have told, shown and maintained an emotional and relationship attachment to you then I am with you. Whatever level you are at and can handle is where things are at.
I will worry and care about you. Even when you want to attempt to be argumentative about it. If I didn't then there would be no us at all.
My attraction to you won't waver as long as we are together unless you choose to do something to derail that. I do not get involved with anyone I am not attracted to physically and mentally.
We can work anything out and keep a strong relation. Or we can just let things ride and it is whatever it is going to be. Once again this is not a forced issue at all.
My take on relationships
Relationships for me has different levels. And that is because everyone cannot be treated the same way because they are not in the same place or status. I know some will disagree with this because of the ideology of this utopia style that should be present in relations but that is not reality.
The levels go from wife to girlfriend to fwb. It is because of the difference in commitment and longevity. In a society that holds marriage at a high standard this is normal. And for me being the wife means that we are closer than anyone else could possibly be. The wives are the ones who are one with you at the upper echelon of relationships.
I have always treated girlfriends and those I have been involved with as more than a friend well. And I will continue to do so. I just don't treat them like they are one of my wives. Is that wrong? Not for me. It merely is the hierarchy that I have chose to maintain and cultivate in my life.
Relationships have become so disposable that it is hard to put anything substantial or permanent in them most of the time. Most of the time it is a matter of enjoy the ride for as long as it lasts. And honestly that is sad, but the mentality that most have in these modern times. I don't want anything disposable. It has never been what I looked for in a relationship. I have used the Build a Bitch program when I have adhered to the disposable relationship ideology. And that was to get a few things between different females in order to get some form of satisfaction as a whole since I didn't have a relationship at the time.
I can give my heart and make a relationship deeply meaningful and rewarding. But that cannot be just given out to each and everyone. So you do the "get to know you dance." Waiting until you get a sign of which way things may go. That is the way of dating and trying to establishing relationships.
My preference for establishing relationships is communicating the interest and what is wanted and then getting to know each other. I am blunt about what I see, want and foresee so it is not an issue for me. I am the one that has seen and said that "you are the one I could marry." And that was what I meant no matter how they felt, what they thought or inferred from it. So I don't do all the chasing. The calling to see if you are still interested and want to spend time. If you are a woman then you will say and make the same effort that I am.
Females these days seem to be so deep into the fraudulent "think and act like a man" fantasy that it really has fucked things up. It takes strength and confidence to speak on what you want and make it happen. And that is what I like in a woman.
Closing the door
Relationships are what you make out of them. If you don't put any effort in, sit back waiting on your imaginary time table for things to go your way then you will miss out. Achieve and work for what you want and need. If you don't then leave relationships alone and do your situationships so you can be happy.
To Serve Me
The discussion of service to me comes up as a Dominant with submissives. My service is not everyone else's. It is merely my own.
Serving me means and is made up of different things. Depending on talents and skills. There are basic skills like being able to cook, clean, manage affairs and etc though. \
Some of the things serving me entails:
Represent me in the appropriate manner at all times. With respect and focus.
Inform me of things that I may have missed or overlooked
Domestic service
Sexual service
I am not anyone else or using someone else's blueprint to what their service is so I have made mine up based on me, myself and I.
Focus and time are keys to my service. I don't need to micromanage and force anyone to stay on task when it comes to serving me. We are adults and will act accordingly.
I always say if there are questions about what it means to serve me then you need to ask.
Serving me means and is made up of different things. Depending on talents and skills. There are basic skills like being able to cook, clean, manage affairs and etc though. \
Some of the things serving me entails:
Represent me in the appropriate manner at all times. With respect and focus.
Inform me of things that I may have missed or overlooked
Domestic service
Sexual service
I am not anyone else or using someone else's blueprint to what their service is so I have made mine up based on me, myself and I.
Focus and time are keys to my service. I don't need to micromanage and force anyone to stay on task when it comes to serving me. We are adults and will act accordingly.
I always say if there are questions about what it means to serve me then you need to ask.
Tuesday, August 30, 2016
The Bright Lights and Red Carpet of Dominance
It is seen that being a Dominant is only about what you want and your way or fucking and playing with whoever you want. Those that think and feel this way haven't bought a clue at all yet.
It takes an awful lot to do this. There is not a magic wand to wave and everything and everyone falls in line. You are going to deal with attitudes, brats, insecurities and defiance. Because regardless of their desire to actually want to submit to you, they have to get to that point first and there are a lot of things, experiences and more that you will have to go through.
We negotiate and vett to decide if we want to go in the same direction. But finding what you think are similar directions doesn't mean that it is the true direction or that it will even happen. Trust has to be established and maintained on both sides of the slash.
When I have mentioned things to the guys and gals at the cigar shop they think it is all about fun and games. And i let them know it is not.
The truth is that is is constant hard work. It is paying attention to multiple things at one time. Soothing, comforting and being direct with them. As much as i show and give love. I will be hard and stick to my guns to create change and achievement.
Though I have been blessed to listen to and observe folks in D/s. I do not just copy cat everything they are doing. I am not working on their play calling. My relationships both vanilla and both lifestyles have been tailor made for me and nothing less. Not what someone else said about how things must or should be.
But here is the key! A submissive has to want to attain and be open to the progress. With the understanding that this is not unicorns, tutus and hello kitty stuff. Things are going to be difficult and things are going to hurt at times. But the point is the betterment of the submissive and the journey.
So when it comes to me:
It is not about getting your way. Because that never works and only gets you on the 5150 list.
It is a hiearchy so the use of the term fair constantly is not applicable.
I am just me, myself and I. There is only one me.
This is something that I have been doing longer than being in D/s
Yes, it is wonderful when I can smile and know mine are happy and moving forward in life. But, I am the Practical Man. There are times I have to be the bad guy to push and break those unfortunate wrong comfort zones that are being held on to falsely. And even after that I will soothe and continue being proud of them.
The glamour, fame and all are for others. That is not my thing.
And lately the things have been coming up like the Battle of the Bulge. But me and the 2rd Army will be pushing on. No sleep, no surrender, no paying for real estate twice.
Enjoy your morning.
It takes an awful lot to do this. There is not a magic wand to wave and everything and everyone falls in line. You are going to deal with attitudes, brats, insecurities and defiance. Because regardless of their desire to actually want to submit to you, they have to get to that point first and there are a lot of things, experiences and more that you will have to go through.
We negotiate and vett to decide if we want to go in the same direction. But finding what you think are similar directions doesn't mean that it is the true direction or that it will even happen. Trust has to be established and maintained on both sides of the slash.
When I have mentioned things to the guys and gals at the cigar shop they think it is all about fun and games. And i let them know it is not.
The truth is that is is constant hard work. It is paying attention to multiple things at one time. Soothing, comforting and being direct with them. As much as i show and give love. I will be hard and stick to my guns to create change and achievement.
Though I have been blessed to listen to and observe folks in D/s. I do not just copy cat everything they are doing. I am not working on their play calling. My relationships both vanilla and both lifestyles have been tailor made for me and nothing less. Not what someone else said about how things must or should be.
But here is the key! A submissive has to want to attain and be open to the progress. With the understanding that this is not unicorns, tutus and hello kitty stuff. Things are going to be difficult and things are going to hurt at times. But the point is the betterment of the submissive and the journey.
So when it comes to me:
It is not about getting your way. Because that never works and only gets you on the 5150 list.
It is a hiearchy so the use of the term fair constantly is not applicable.
I am just me, myself and I. There is only one me.
This is something that I have been doing longer than being in D/s
Yes, it is wonderful when I can smile and know mine are happy and moving forward in life. But, I am the Practical Man. There are times I have to be the bad guy to push and break those unfortunate wrong comfort zones that are being held on to falsely. And even after that I will soothe and continue being proud of them.
The glamour, fame and all are for others. That is not my thing.
And lately the things have been coming up like the Battle of the Bulge. But me and the 2rd Army will be pushing on. No sleep, no surrender, no paying for real estate twice.
Enjoy your morning.
Monday, August 22, 2016
Intense Scenes and Teddy Bear Things
August has been the month of intense scenes and a varied range of my sadistic tendencies. From the physical to emotional pain infliction's the range has been wide and dynamic. From making it feel like skin is being peeled off to being surprised that too much pain was given to the one I thought would laugh at it. But there is also the situation and sub space that has to be timed properly.
So, the magnetic nipple clamp balls will have to debut at another time. The toy bag definitely has grown since it began and I am happy and thankful that it has. Thanks to little one and flower child it has brought a bigger smile to my face.
Learning has happened. To achieve and notice how deep that sub space is for each. Watching for the limits and the incoherency. Quite an adventure.
Yeah teddy bears I said. Smh let's delve into it
I have been called a teddy bear by lil red, little one and flower child.
red-well yeah it is her so it is just a teddy bear
little one-the teddy bear with claws
flower child-grizzly bear when I am not mad
And there was a bit of shock that I am not the same to each of them or people. But, relationships are tailor made for me, not the cookie cutter thing. If you are special to me then you are special to me specifically because of who and the way you are. There is no other way.
So this evil, sadistic teddy bear is out here. Unhinged and waiting. Don't let the quiet and for those in one of my circles, my nice demeanor to you fool you. I am the yin and the yang!
So, the magnetic nipple clamp balls will have to debut at another time. The toy bag definitely has grown since it began and I am happy and thankful that it has. Thanks to little one and flower child it has brought a bigger smile to my face.
Learning has happened. To achieve and notice how deep that sub space is for each. Watching for the limits and the incoherency. Quite an adventure.
Yeah teddy bears I said. Smh let's delve into it
I have been called a teddy bear by lil red, little one and flower child.
red-well yeah it is her so it is just a teddy bear
little one-the teddy bear with claws
flower child-grizzly bear when I am not mad
And there was a bit of shock that I am not the same to each of them or people. But, relationships are tailor made for me, not the cookie cutter thing. If you are special to me then you are special to me specifically because of who and the way you are. There is no other way.
So this evil, sadistic teddy bear is out here. Unhinged and waiting. Don't let the quiet and for those in one of my circles, my nice demeanor to you fool you. I am the yin and the yang!
Sunday, August 14, 2016
Poetry: To Feel, What is that?
To Feel, What is that?
Inside
Deep inside
Emotion and feeling
Lies
The rush of adrenaline
The glow of pride
The fire of
Love and passion
All parts of this
whole ride
Definitions to
Reactions and
experiences
In our time line
But when you no
longer feel
When everything is
Cauterized
What do you do?
What do you attempt
to respond to?
Are you dead or
alive?
I think I remember
Faintly
What feelings use to
be like
They use to mean
something to me
Now
Permanently replaced
with
Calculated responding
Efficiency has
increased
But now I wonder
Why bother to feel
Anything?
From the
chocolatezeus collection 8/14/16 ©
Quote for Life
Though I walk through the valley of death. I shall fear no evil. For I am by my motherfucking self!!!
-CZ-
-CZ-
Just Poetry: A Heart with No Fear
A Heart with No Fear
From the moment
I first told you
I love you
I am in love with you
I want you as my wife
The foundation was
set
I knew from the
beginning
What I wanted and
sought
What made my heart
Beat and stop
Even as you used
Every comparison
Of exes and friends
And their strange
tells
What I wanted from
you
Never changed
Vulnerability
Let me say it again
I made myself
completely vulnerable
To begin with
So you could sit back
comfortably
Try to grasp the plot
Take it all in
The seriousness of
My plan
Chance given
A welcoming door open
Regardless
I am prepared either
way
Good or bad
I made my stand
Only later to be
Placated
Challenged
A need for assimilation
Still
I stand
Amid all the
My way
I can’t believe your
that way
Interpretive
Inability to accept
and understand
This is
Love
Passion
Affection
And more
At the intense level
But her there is
always
Burger king instead
Have your way
I will remain on my
path
No guts, no glory
My heart speaks
As loud as my attacks
From the
chocolatezeus collection 8/14/16 ©
Poetic Heartsrings: My Love is
My Love is
I have
Fell in
Been in
Loved
And in love
Given
Heart
Soul
Future
All vulnerability
Why is it so hard for
you to
Accept
See
Feel
Oh
Through my potent
Direct sledge hammer
Love skills
Or
That it isn’t done to
your
Checklist
Is that the reason
why
You just don’t
And won’t feel
Words
Actions
Actions
Words
They have remained
constant
To love’s dismay
Now love merely
A waxed coroner’s
stain
It seems
When there is only
the deafening
Essence of
The love I
Bring
From the
chocolatezeus collection 8/14/16 ©
Poetic Expression Incarcerated Comfort
Incarcerated Comforts
Bloody entrails
Lead to the closed
vault door
Staining the very
fabric of existence
All emotional content
Crushed beneath and
in
This vault door
That fire survives
Somehow burning white
Deprived and starved
Purposefully
That emotional edict
came
Decreeing
Survival of the
fittest
In this death match
Relation
Once such an
Integral and
necessary part
Of me
Those drops and
movies in time
Of comfort and need
Concluded with
Emotional
Serial killing
Genocide
And now it’s time
Where freedom rings
As the vault door
closes
And the tumblers
Give that death lock
sound
Stoic resound
Death howls
Invigorated with life
Unchained
Blood dripping from
restraint
There are no more
Comfort strings on me
Carnage and chaos
Unfettered
Smiling
Remnants
Unchained
From the
chocolatezeus collection 8/14/16 ©
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