Actions Vs Words

Some say that words mean nothing when spoken. Fabrications of nothingness. Or just utter disbelief.

Some say actions are irrelevant. Done to gain a foothold while be fraudulent. Basically acts upon the stage play, signifying nothing.

Through communication I have discussed, witnessed and taken part in these displays. Often time wondering if anything will be the correct way when you are involved with someone. It is like playing hot potato with a live grenade. At some point someone is going to get killed in the end.

I speak what I mean and my actions remain me. I don't see saw, totter all over the place. Same me. Same sledge hammer in the china shop scene.

So I listened, analyzed and put into effect the "ghost" protocols that were needed.

Now everything should be covered in the PC way, fully.

Yippeee!!

Spoken Word: Ready and Waiting

Ready and Waiting

I have been in love with you from the beginning

Had no problem declaring and expressing my need

The need for you to be with me

From the moment that

My heart and soul said

You are the One for me

Even though my mind said

No, this can’t be reality

Making every effort

To show and prove

Just what you mean to me

What I want with you

I needed my fix

And you fed every bit of it

As I ate every drop

I had to think and understand

Was this a temporary fix

Or was there any relevance

Holding on for the moment

Where you show that you want me too

That this is more than a possibility

That feeling that you are in love with me too

So I left behind

Thoughts of just you and me

Happily just being

Gave way to reality

A miracle of you and me

Is merely a power ball lottery possibility

With the odds based on

Astronomical probability

Even though I know the difficulty

Still I hold on to that miracle ride

Unable to give up on you

I love your brain

Your gorgeous body my playground

Time with you priceless moments

Held in elite standing

My heart continues to beat

My mind races on looking for a finish line

Culmination of this journey

I continue this journey

And I will do until I find myself with you

Looking into the void

Waiting

Ready

From the chocolatezeus collection  1/7/16  ©

D/s Hierarchy and Me

After some discussions with individuals and I have been talking about relationship dynamics in D/s.

Here is my understanding, concept and application on D/s.

I am the Dominant and whether it is poly or one on one I am the primary relationship and the only relationship. And I use relationship in the sense of dating, emotional intimacy involvement and focus. I do not believe in nor will I be with someone that wants me to be their Dom and have another Dom also. To me that is a clash of contradictions.

And I have heard how that is not fair and everything. yadda, yadda, yadda. That is fine and dandy. But remains the case for me.

And this comes from my personal decision as well as interactions with other Dominants that have been in the lifestyle for decades at least.

This is not to say that I won't take into consideration my sub's needs and desires. If there are things that I do not have the skills for or cannot provide then I will come up with something to satisfy her. That means finding someone appropriate to play with and enjoy those skills with. I want them to be happy and content along with taken care of and provided for.

Having two Doms clashes by opposing protocols and standards. Literally pulling subs in different directions. An unnecessary situation. Plus their service will be impaired with the division in dynamics.

So there you go if you wanted to know. And if you want to talk about it or have a question then ask.

It is Havoc time!!

Spoken Moments: White Noise

White Noise

Feel like a supernova

Force filled

100 times over

Ready to explode

And shatter reality

My mind

Like a ship full of nukes

Armed and ready to go

Visions of

Needed reality

Crushed skulls

Ripped throats

Bodies suspended on pikes

As I watch even Hela

Hold a gasp in her throat

There is no equation

For this force

When the white noise hits

The Reaper is

Ready to Go

From the chocolatezeus collection   1/4/16  ©

Words of Zeus: Excerpts and Conversion

Doing a lot of writing lately. I am getting back to getting things done with the books and just letting whatever be said to be said. So here is some:

Comparative Application

Yeah, yeah, yeah

I hear you say

We are in a relationship

We are dating

Simple words

That frankly

Have no to absolutely no meaning

When I can look and see

No real world application

Then it is as worthless as

The hot air you breathe

If there is a meaning then

You show it

Give it a level of importance

Focus and follow through

But when it is merely

Comparison shopping

Don’t think you will get the

Royal treatment

Our so called relation

So called dating

Well

You are just

Something available to do

And I thank you for services rendered

Until I find a replacement for you

From the chocolatezeus collection  1/2/16  ©

And here is another one for you to read through

Negated Affects

The more that you claim that you love

The more that you put me through

The more I forget about you

Yes baby

Lead me to the point that

You can be

A distant monkey bitch memory

You can have your own

Monkey bitch induction ceremony

Tailor made for you

You say you love me

Don’t waste your breathe claiming

It is just more global warming shit

As the bullshit spills from your mouth

That napalm wouldn’t wash out

You wanted to put me through

These hoops so you can feel like

You are something to you

You simply remain

A worthless bitch

Through and through

So I smile brightly

And say thank you

You have entertained

And now you are through

From the chocolatezeus collection  1/2/16   ©

Spoken Reality: Say Hello To The Bad Guy

Say Hello To The Bad Guy

Cue my theme music

Middle finger to you

Fuck you and you and you

Be nice

Let them see the nice side of you

They aren’t authorized to do anything

But remain a casualty of my

Apathy

I grab my knife, battle axe and gun

Filleting your soul and mind

So I can carve our your heart

To make soles for my boots

If you are looking for

The older version of me

Then you should have gotten in

When you could

Your relevance is

Less than my cigar butts

Leaving cigar burns to your temples

To mainline some understanding

To that thing you call a brain

Looking for

Love, caring and sympathy

You better slice your throat for me

That is where you will find it

Most effectively

If you aren’t riding deep with me

Then you have no

Fucking use to me

And will be cannon fodder to

Feed my carnage quota

So

Let me rip into your

Heart and soul

Show you how

Feelings and emotions

Can be Antarctic

Cold

You wanted a teddy bear

Someone that would conform to your bullshit thinking

Give you that warm blanket of sympathy

Fuck you

Fuck all of you

The Beast is Unleashed

Your heart, body and soul

Merely things for me to

Trample beneath my feet

As I laugh with glee

I am free

Just being me

From the chocolatezeus collection  1/1/16  ©

Simply Put...It's Been One

The year has changed. Looking back at everything, seeing each column full of different entries and memories. All I can do is shake my head from all of those things.

Last year I walked a path of allowed stupidity and weak mentality. Humanoid traits that I gave way to unfortunately.

Here I am still. Ripping the time line to shreds as I keep breathing. Absurdly continuing along despite the anti personnel mines and incarcerated thinking and times.

There are no resolutions. I made goals as usual. But I have things that are not goals and will be done. Plus my list of things that I am doing to celebrate being the complete and fully evil motherfucking ME!!

After the culling the party will begin in true earnest. The Road Warriors against the Universe. If I had feelings I would feel bad for all of you!! *lmfao*

With that said:

chunking the duece
middle fingers up
busting two shots

Enjoy your ride.
I am not responsible for your hurt feelings, broken body and mind
lol...actually I am and proud of it


Cue my theme music...

Welcome to 2016

With fireworks and silence in the yard the year changed.

The smoke from my Lunatic cigar billowing clouds of smoke.

I am glad 2015 is done and gone.

I leave behind myself with it. I was the good, the bad and the angry.

Emotionless I look and analyze it all. Words here cannot explain things. So I will write those things elsewhere

Like a claymore I set ready for the next triggered explosion. But when it comes to me in this new year I am the unhinged.

Turning the closed sign on and stepping into the mindfield

Spoken Word: Festering Wound

Festering Wound

How can you heal things

When you don’t’ know what’s wrong

How can you get to know each other

Grow closer

When this chasm between us is so long

I see the pain you feel

The pain that you can inflict, indefinitely

The hurt behind eyes and soul

That strength that won’t allow you to cry

I am not here to

Make you vulnerable

Use these and other things against you

I hold you strengths and weakness

Cradled in my supportive grasp

Offering all of me

To help you as much as I can

Always

Quietly I observe

As you keep pace and distance

From me

All I can do is offer

Show you that I am here for and with you

But there is nothing that I can do

I can’t force myself to help you

When you hate the assistance

So

I merely look

Somewhere inside wish

That you would come to your senses

Then

I blink and let it be

From the chocolatezeus collection  12/28/15  ©

Spoken Word: The Heated Caress of Jealousy

The Heated Caress of Jealousy

My jealousy

Rips the fabric of existence

Raggedly

Hope

Dissolved in a cacophony

Of hydrochloric acid beliefs

All I can say is

My fault

My fault for

Thinking there was a joining

A decision on us

Having importance

Yes, you and me

I look

Glare openly

Only to see my misinterpreted

Misplaced desired reality

So I clear

Don’t shock a flat line

Watch Hela claim this

As I look at the distance

What you and me were supposed to be

Outstretched arms

The laughter will never cease

Cruel to think that

This was ever a possibility

Toxic

Radioactive

Bomb dropped on me

Now there is only

The

Jealousy left

In

And

For

Me

From the chocolatezeus collection  12/28/15  ©

Spoken Word: Augmented Rabbit Hole

Augmented Rabbit Hole

I know you said that words

Mean next to nothing to you

That continued and constant actions

May be the only things that move you

But I need to know

Here you say

I love you

I miss you

Just thinking about you

Well

More than once every blue moon

I understand

We don’t think

Act or react

In the same way

So views are skewed from

Personal points of view

Just dial up the frequency

I would like to hear and feel it too

Until then

The ribbons in the sky

Have been burned by napalm

Cinders of wishes

Remnants of heart and soul

Just sitting in the

Rabbit hole

From the chocolatezeus collection  12/29/15  ©

Ghost Rider, The Pattern Is Full

They tell me that it is not that serious. Just let things happen at their own time and pace.

Ok, I take and make a mental note to adjust accordingly.


They tell me how permanency is what they seek. But just don't let us get to close to each other. I still need to feel free.

I notate and prepare the escape plan for when it is time for things to go south real quick.


The why you ask and wth:

There has been a lot of convo had, read and listened to concerning the state of relations or situations as they call them.  I have no problem with humans seeing, doing and being the way that they are in this dating, relation, situation thing. I applaud those that know they can't and won't be worth anything in a relationship. So stick to whatever you come up with that suits you and those that deal with that.

My issue has been with those that say they don't want anything with a title or holding some aspect of vulnerability and then want everything to act and be like they are actually in a relationship. Stop the madness an confusion!  You are just 5150 there little girl.

Yes I was a proponent of relationships and marriage. Locked in supermax underneath a couple fortresses it still remains. Preserved.  But I have transmuted from renaissance to caveman to rest at the cromagnon level.

Just like you speak according to the audience you are addressing. You interact socially and relation wise according to who it is directed to.

I feel like the saying of the gladiators before the arena fights should be injected right here.

We who are about to die salute you!!!   LoL

So, I am not stuck in a time warp or expecting anything other than whatever, who I am interacting with is actually capable of doing. You don't give more than you are prepared to give and you don't waste time and energy on things that hold no relevancy.

situationships
we just fuck
or whatever else

it's all good
just state what you want and stick with it


as for me...


I am breaking left and kicking in the afterburners!!!


till the next time...Salud

My Original Property

Logic and analysis components engaged!

Of course I am thinking as usual. After all my brain has not caught up with me being dead just yet. And heavy on rotation is my D/s journey along with my Dominant evolution.

Discussing who was my first submissive and started this journey in bdsm. Plus the what about marriage and dynamics conversations.

I was married to a woman that was excellent. I realized that she was my first submissive, whore, slut and full kinkster.  She was my 50's household woman with our modern adjustments. So for those first years I was introduced into bdsm before I officially began my learned journey.

She served me physically, spiritually and more. She was my service whore and fucktoy at all times. I managed and dictated to her and she followed. I had tamed the dominant, independent, sexy and everybody wanted woman to be mine.

Back rubs and massages. Meals cooked. Seeking approval and guidance. Serving made and kept her happy. As she became my daily sex slave. The only way that it could have been better was if we were doing some kink play for the whip cream on top.

A year of vetting and consideration led to her collaring aka wedding ring. It was a time of finding lines of communication, establishing hierarchy and roles. Where my unknown D/s began. Discussing the things that are important and required to her. The attention to detail, the focus, duty and being my slut.

This is where it all began. over two years of her service and dedication to me and our relationship.Giving me the taste of the craving that was already ingrained in me. Until it all came to an end when she died. In the way only she would want to. Cummin and going at the same time.

Dropping into the current time line:

I have chosen to learn and grow properly in this lifestyle. Invested in it more than I was when I was active in the swinger lifestyle. Most of my heaviest learning coming from summer of last year to now. And I know it wasn't all the best things that happened always. There were my mistakes miscommunication and all.

A year spent with a weird, interesting, dynamite sub. One that I have had a hard time stabilizing, strengthening and creating a deep D/s relation with. It is not simple like someone else but it is what I desired and wanted. So the journey continues through the landmines, labyrinth and Chinese finger puzzles.

The dynamic has shown me the juxtapose differences between subs and individuals. Teaching me that I have to work hard with this and put forth effort to get it where I want it to be. For as long as it is in the direction and purpose that is sought. Seeing the key of making, communicating and showing the destination and way to achieve the goal of the dynamic. Fighting the walls of trust, communication, personalities and issues can be the enemy.

But here is the thing. The difficulties in waiting, working on, navigating the minefields and timing are steps to what is the goal at the end. To have the established dynamic that I already have seen and know how grand it is. Getting there with two individuals is the test.

I have seen and experienced different types of subs.

The subs that are so ready to serve and please me are less of an issue in that aspect. But they still require guidance, assignments, attention and individual address to keep them happy, growing and moving forward in the dynamic.

Here is the non glamour thing:

In D/s you deal with subs with their real life aspects. Not just when it is the perfect time to be kinky. That means issues at work, loss of loved ones, mental and physical issues and more. This is when you have to gauge how best to support, give space and handle things. And it is hard to find the right way to react for a while. It takes time, connection, communication and observation to be able to handle it. Hot flashes, mood swings and periods are going to happen. Often and frequently I have experienced. It is all part of management that is required and the commitment that i have placed upon me and my dynamic.

Started out in an unknown D/s relationship with Chocolate Doll. Then started a true and actual knowledge based D/s relationship with lil red.

And here I am. Through the good, the bad and the ugly. Pressing forward to attain the goal of the dynamic that I seek with lil red in the way that is apparent and superior to me.


There you go. Some insight.

Grab your chimichanga's and let's Deadpool tonight!!