Prominent Principle

I equate being a Dominant as being a manager.

Why you ask?

• You have to set goals
• Be transparent
• Gain trust and cooperation
• support and guide
• remain vigilant
• Understand, learn and grow

It was said best last week about the lifestyle. It is all fun and games until it is not sexy anymore. That means when you are dealing with people on a regular. Day to day or whatever the intervals. It isn't about how well you can flog or single tail them. It is about if you can stand them. How they are as a person. 

So many vanilla and people claiming to be in the lifestyle have the thoughts that it is about play. And there is an area about play. But when you are claiming D/s or M/s it isn't about the play. It is about a journey that is taken. Responsibilities and trust that must be handled..

See, there is no overconfidence in what I say. I remain humble. Searching for mentors and learning what I can. But I have come into contact with diverse people who have been able to express to me what their homes are like. The traditional aspects as well as the tailor made things. 

One fix does not apply to all. Especially when you are with someone like Lil Red, who is completely and uniquely different in so many ways that I have lost count. Truely a test of learning, evolution and teachings applied at all times. 

So veterans don't feel like all of us newcomers dismiss what you say. You can't fault the whole for some of the parts. Just as some us don't feel like every veteran has turned their back on instruction the newer people. 

I have spent this last year seriously learning and applying myself with D/s. Some faux pas, some victories. But through it all there has been nothing but growth and strengthening. I will continue to stick to being involved in my community and look forward to travelling to other communities to partake soon as well. 

Bottom line is the principles that you choose to uphold and value. 

I value my desire to inspire growth, goals and an experience that gets better and better. A relationshp that is way better than when it began. At a place where we can look back and say, "we came a ways from there, clearly."

I remain steadfast in my principle and journey.  Thankful for those that have imparted wisdom, views and more to me. 

Spoken Word: Here and Now

silence grips
the meatiness of
nothingness

a potent culmination
of raw emotions and realization

standard bearer
infantry assault
No recon
relationship

quicksand
the only choice
in stand your ground

sunken
unfurled
stained

left with the vibe
vibration of synchronization

destiny
abound

glory found
through staccoto expression

a miracle is found


from the chocolatezeus collection  9/27/15  (c)

Living It Instead of Playing It

My journey in bdsm has been one of profound experiences and accounting.

I am still new. I will continue to learn. To look for a mentor and everything.

As it was said on the conference call tonight by Kore. The aspects of this lifestyle is not all that sexy when you are doing the relationship things. Not just the beat me and make me feel good episodes.

It is important to have that connection and binding that you need outside of playing with someone. But as it has been said what do you do with each other when there is no play. It is about being able to talk and do things that are basically considered vanilla.

My journey with Lil Red has been one filled with uniqueness an weirdness. But it has been a journey in fundamentals and a dynamic that holds a serious weight between us.  We talk and are able to function in and out of the lifestyle.  Defining being a Dom and a sub together on a journey into mystery.

This relationship and hierarchy is not easy. It isn't a simple turn the corner and be there. It is about the building of trust and communicating. The connection that is established and grows. Hell, I can tell you in this short amount of time I have learned from leaps and bounds on things. And I am still in the very first steps of this.

There were the question of whether Lil Red was the right one.  How did I know and understand that she was the right one. And my answer was and is: Because I evaluated, analyzed and got to know her. It comes from teh times where we have agreed, disagreed and shown who we truly are. But the beginning was that vibe and connection that was undeniable to me.

Here we are in the here and now.

Everything is not krispy kreme sweet with Lil Red and I. Our journey is not complete or even fully defined. But it is what it is and where it needs to be.

This lifestyle. This choice. Is not for the faint of heart. Or even for those that can do it if it is easy. It is overcoming, the overwhelming things that won't come easy or make sense.

Minus the glamour and glitz. I enjoy Lil Red and the things that we do and share. Add to that the D/s and the destiny that I have planned. Then things are just Perfect!

The Journey...

Mr Wolf and Lil Red

I am ready, willing and committed.
Be Prepared.

Predestined Destination

Yesterday brought to mind a plethora of things at the cigar shop.

If you didn't know my wife died 4 years ago. Instantly from  a seizure from orgasms and I couldn't save her.

I mention the above because there is an older white guy that is a retired teacher that had his wife die a few months back. And he was trying to resusitate her like I was until the emts showed up and it didn't work. His name is Rich.

Rich and I conversate and laugh. We have joined in a bond because of losing our wives. His after many years together and mine after over 2 years. So when I saw that down look on his face the first time and the confusion I understood fully. That time when you are at a loss. Dealing with a part of you dying that you weren't expecting or ready to happen. The chaos that ensues while you don't have a moment to think through the fog that surrounds you and you breathe in is outlandish. People say and do things that make you want to murder them immediately.

So yesterday Rich came in to the shop and he broke down at the counter. It was something about a picture that he found in a drawer of his wife. it was short but it was a break down. And I totally understand and have been there plenty of times. Times where I have been driving and something reminded me of Chocolate Doll. And as Rich mentioned, certain things happen like his wife was sending a message. I have had that with Lil Red and the whole conversation about finding someone to be happy with after Chocolate Doll was gone instead of me staying to myself. There will be moments where you cry, get angry and or don't understand why.

Two very different individuals. But it is like God set in place me to be at the shop at this point in time to give support and guidance in a time where Rich needs it. And I am one that can understand it more closely than anyone else. So the Evil One is glad to help and be supportive to someone that needs it in a specific way. Helping him as much as I can from knowing the type of pain that he is going through is something else.

In this thing called life. Things like this is what makes life acceptable at times. The ability to be helpful and supportive in a way that is specific quality.

And I understand the death of his wife very well. Even I have my moments of memory, reflection and things that spark it all, even this day. I miss a woman that made me very happy and wanted me to be happy, both when she was alive and when she died. And I know she is having a ball laughing at me now with the things that I am going through. *I feel like sticking my hands in the back of your jeans again*  Even the similarities are eerie at times. But all of this is some Chocolate Doll fault anyway.

But regardless I will keep Rich in prayer and continue providing what support I can. Whether it is some laughter, one of my shared crazy experiences or simply picking at him.

What is needed will happen.

This was a moment into the caring and concerned part of me. We will return back to our regularly schedule Havoc after this.

Combined Lifestyles and Lack of Fortitude

I am telling you up front. this is going to be long. Get your drink and snacks together now!

Well we are into another week. And as always my mind is in overdrive every second of the day and night. From my relationship, my relationships to everything that has to be accomplished and handled.

In 5 days I have traveled more than 2000 miles so I hear Ru Ru saying, "told your Road Warrior ass that you were not retired." So yeah this one time she was correct in that. But I am not going to say it unless she asks. lol

Rope class was cool. I watched because I was still worn out and I felt it while I was sitting there watching. Still wish I had someone to go there with me so I could practice on. But that is life. I found myself keeping myself awake.

Ok so this was the weekend I was going to the swing party in rdu. Even though the ex munchkin monkey is excommunicated before that point. I said I was going to go and so I did. I really wanted to go and show my fucking ass at them bitches. So I ended up going with the teenage dream to the party. With her as my slave. And I had no intention on sharing anything with anyone there. Plus I needed a playmate anyway so I can have some fun and release a little bit of energy.

Here is the thing about me and the swing lifestyle. I enjoyed it in the beginning because the people weren't fake ass, self serving monkeys. And unfortunately it is also linked to they were not just black folk. But in the beginning it was about meeting, socializing and not being cliquish and having a good time.  After that point it was just about money and whoever was the stars and flavor of the moment.  But I don't normally play at parties because I am just good ole me and nobody else. So I bring my sand to the beach so I get what I want and how I want. Fuck the rest.

So back to this weekends party. It was alright. A little cramped in the host room but oh well. The main host was flirtatious but i knew that from the first time I met her at that cookout and tattoo party last month or something. I finally saw what evil lyn (ex munchkin monkey's cousin) looked like outside of a car. She actually had a decent body and some titties and ass. I still think she is a transformer and is just part human, part car. lol  I had nothing to say to the ex munchkin monkey taking the money at all. There were some of the regulars. One of the ninja turtle looking chicks. And that hershey chick that doesn't like me because of the red springs monkey bitch.  So teenage dream and I were in the host room and it was time to dress down and the host came to get the females. I told her that teenage dream wouldnt' be playing. I know that she loves fresh, new pussy so I am sure that was a bit of a let down but she had plenty of other options.

There was a guy there that I had met at the cookout and tattoo party with his girlfriend who wanted to swap but something was nagging at me not to do that even though I didn't mind fucking his chick. And I remembered later why. He stayed on the phone that first time I met him arguing with his wife. And the girlfriend was pissed with him about it.  Umm, no thanks to fucking drama that I didn't create.

This brought to life the whole conversations and issues with swinging and bdsm that has been happening. I mean they are two different lifestyles and people are trying to combine the two. Like the ex munchkin monkey and the host had to get permisson from some guy but they are not his sub or slave. Go ahead and play that way if you choose to. Now I was a swinger before I came into bdsm. And I do combine the two. I combine them like I did last weekend. I went to a party and went back to my room to play. But I also know in true swinging there are relationships that are built and worked on as there are in bdsm. There isn't necessarily a hierarchy of course. But as in and out of both lifestyles and life you have those that want to pretend, play or just defraud the lifestyles and themselves. Nothing will stop the differing opinions on this subject.

Which brings me to a final subject. The actions of those that I once cared about and loved. Because once again I had to really consider just going all out and completely decimating another one instead of keeping her in limbo. Because I can't keep giving chances to show the importance of the relationship. I normally excommunicate immediately. But in my old age I gave some chances unfortunately over this last year. My mistake. Out of nostalgia and a past I gave these two a chance this year. Yeah, that worked real well. They couldn't speak up, tell the truth or say what were on their mind. But they want to act like everything is ok. No, it is not but then again maybe it is for you. For me you have made your choice in your exit strategy. And how do I always attempt to communicate with you and you never get the messages no matter what form I use? That is rather suspicious to me. Especially when I spend my time traveling. But that is apparently the concensus for humans today.  I dont' have time to play games with jealous, insecure females that want to show and be extra crazy.  With that said...you get what you choose.

Alright so I told you it was long. As I sit here watching wwe's night of champions and still laughing at how the first episode of Gotham didn't hook my interest yesterday. I am going to eat me some wings now and chill. Thinking about some Mr Wolf and Lil Red Time!

H-Day....The Arrival of Havoc

Today will be a bit busy I guess. But it will be one that will be left in the books for sure.

I tend to stick to my word. So when I said I would go to this swing party I was okay with it. Because I don't normally go to play unless I bring my own playmate. I am not the dick flavor or the month or desperate to be liked like that. Plus it has been known that I stepped away from the swing lifestyle because of how fraudulent and fake people are. Especially the ones I have met from NC. Add to that the ex munchkin chick has joined the monkey bitch ranks and it makes for preparations for a nice evening.

So hit this cook out and hang out with some like minded kinky people up north. Then head to RDU for this swing party.

Yeah, I am going to show my ass. There will be a Zeus sighting again but this time there will be even more for them to discuss and hate about me. My non conforming, anti human, don't give a Fuck me will show up and present the Havoc part of the equation.

*snicker*

"Wait till they get a load of me!"

Poetry of Chocolate

Chocolate and Smiles

I want to give you the world

As long as you are my girl

Even though you hate that type of

Application

If I can just give you

That happiness

That will let you be

Nothing but you

To submit to

Love, expression and living

Where there are no needs for walls

As I protect you

Your very own

Death Star

Just give me all that chocolate

Bath me in an abundance

Of those smiles

Treasures that I hold tight

Their priceless treasure

I just can’t get enough of

Contently drowning in chocolate

Seeing the Harley signal in the sky

Your smile nice and bright

Calling, I heed the call

Always on my way

Take my hands

Let this Teddy Bear engulf you

Leave behind the trappings of

Doctor, Doctor

Come be doctored

Chocolate

Molten, melted sweetness

Heavy sweet cream

Chocolate and those smiles

Will solve and fix

Just about anything

From the chocolatezeus collection  9/18/15  ©

Only the Strongest Need Apply

I noticed a weakness when Chocolate Doll died. At first it crept up. Then it merely danced through my existence. Now it seems to have made purchase to my soul. But that was before my scorched earth policy. Currently like internal organs there is a *seek and destoy operation* in place to cull out everything.

Apocalypse in the Marvel comic universe is allegedly the first mutant. The Alpha. He stands alone and outside of everyone and everything. He always states, "only the strong will survive." Even with violent evolution the strong must prevail. He has fought pretty much fought everyone and still remains. Any more history and you would have to be a comic book nerd to understand.

In correlation to Apocalypse and his actions. There are similarities to me.

With that said. Lil Red and I have been through quite a bit. Thus the nature of dating. As always the women that can keep my interest and make me wanna wanna are always these super illustrious, mega rare unicorns that are so weird and eccentric it is like solving the Riddle of the Sphinx.

Among our talks she said the phrase that should be put on a plaque for me. that phrase is "you are really not like anyone else."  As Ru Ru always says, they just are not prepared for you being straight you. But I have heard this a lot since my evolution. At times in negative, I hate you monkey bitch ways. Other times in disbelief. What can I say I can only be me. And it is funny coming from the Queen of Weirdness herself. lol

I began as the nice guy. The ones girls would cling to and want to be around. Because I was their safety net and zone.  "It's just Zeus, he one of the girls," said it all standing in a room of half naked girls. I was that knight in shining armor. The epitome of what society and pipe dreams have told us what a man should be. Captain save a hoe. Mr Fix it (which Lil Red said still is a part of me and I agree). It all amounted to pure folly. And I realize that.

Evolution came. I became what I denied and kept chained in a prison box in the solitary confinement room.

Yes, I am the Teddy Bear that Lil Red and others have said. But I am like the Wrath of Khan Teddy Bear version. Violent, sadistic teddy bear, yep that is all me! Passionate and loving to my people, while dropping my executioner's axe on the back of every neck with glee.

There use to be an internal battle constantly. The good trying to defeat the evil in me. Then I realized that evil must reign supreme. That Evil that I fought is the dna of me. The struggle I have now is with any of the good happening. Love, caring and feeling are mostly dead to me unless you are special to me. And lately we have seen the special people decide to go with the excommunication clause in the relationship contract. The ex munchkin and the delusional teenager chose their paths. Showed that regardless of love and all that. Things are completely irrelevant. I merely cued up Black Sheep's "The Choice is Yours."

I stand here in the carnage. Standing my ground and reveling in the body parts and brain bits of the monkeys and humans laying everywhere. I don't feel any remorse. I gave them and it a shot. Failures happen so that the treasure will be revealed.

To end this on a different note.

There have been severe transitions for me. over this year. Many of them from the looks of from then to now. lol

This weekend I will be attending a swing party. Something I stopped doing and I had agreed because at that point ex munchkin was still something to speak to and do. But hey i said I would go and now i am going to go and show the fuck out! And I am going to do it Havoc style with a slave in tow.  There will be a clear understanding it this is going to be all about me and my pleasure and service.

As I relished in previously the Toronto trip with Lil Red was liberating because i got the chance to let out more of me. And that was a baptism of self growth and revelation. One of the defining moments and best moments of this year without a doubt.

This weekend will be about control, pleasure pain and edification for all involved.

Monkey Bitches, familiars and humans...it is time for you to be put on notice.

a big FUCK YOU  is going down in the RDU!!

Time Flies and Reveals

I am smiling. Because I was correct about the outcome. I said it would happen and it did. 

*look out for them trees!!!*

So ABM had an entry this evening with the christening. lol

And Ru Ru already laughed at this so when we get out discuss on this will be the icing on the cake. 

yeah, I know I could pick them. But at least it is in past tense now. 

*Proof* 

There is nothing like that vibe and connect separates the rare woman from the multitude of females. 

hoooo raaaa

Shits and Giggles As I Travel

I am glad to finally put some distance between the cause of major stress and myself. I am looking forward more and more to when it is permanent though.  But for right now getting out of the horrid state of alabama will be a vast improvement.

I had to chuckle to myself today remembering the comment "I still love you big evil." It's connotation is comical now. But I am glad everything has been shown. It was about to be another major mistake years ago. So when Lil Red asked about the munchkin situation and I said it was an ex situation. She was a bit shocked. But that was because there was a brief dialogue about her being a submissive and i realized that was a fucking disaster ready to happen. History was made again. And the Familiar is locked in with the associates and monkeys. Good to go.

I am tired after driving all night and being up all day basically. But damn if I can't get any sleep at all still. This is just extra crazy as hell. And I need sleep before tomorrow night and the weekend.

The more and more things occur. It makes me realize I made the right decisions about things, people and associates and less.

It is good to be on the better side of the equation than the side that is bullshit!

*Unleash the Dogs of War....Apocalypse is here*

Quote For the Night and Forever

If you wish to control others you must first control yourself” ― Miyamoto Musashi, A Book of Five Rings: The Classic Guide to Strategy

Another Day, Some More Dementia

The horniness has already left for Mars and is on it's way back. That is how rough it is right now. DAMN!!

The day starts out with the female parental units telling me the people at the cult church they go to asked if I was dating or getting married again.  Because they know how I feel because they lost someone. yadda yadda fucking yadda! As I tell the female parental unit I don't discuss those things with you or the male parental unit. it is none of your business. so here goes that fake christian fucking attitude. lol I just leave. Fuck that!

I hit the cigar shop for some therapy. As usual we solve the world's problems. An elderly man from Ireland was in there today. And I was too shocked and laughing too hard at the old lady that said she had to pay 900 in deposits for two cats she rescued at her apartment. And that money is non refundable. Then she pays 40 a month for the two cats to be there. what the fuck? I don't 'fucking think so!

Other than that thinking and analyzing heavily. Making sure that the armory is stocked and the ABM is ready and primed. Because shit is just ridiculous lately.

*shooting two in the air*

Enjoy your evening, night or whatever

Dungeons and Dragons, Plus Football

I went up to Jacksonville last night for my first adventure with the Society.

Of course I was the only black male there. But in this lifestyle that is pretty much the norm since I live in NC in the port city. The people were nice and they were efficient with the rules and everything. There were plenty of equipment available for use and it was a laid back atmosphere after the auction. Which I didn't get a chance to get anything from unfortunately.

As with any place I normally won't play the first time and just observe. Even though it is hard to play without a playmate and most are already coupled up or with their regular play partners. But observing things in action works for me rather well.  I watched a young lady do some fire cupping up close and it was interesting. I also watched a scene where a lady wrapped a guy up in package wrap and then duct tape. Combined that with rough play and I was sparked with an idea. Of course my idea has it's own evil twist in it.

Plus I enjoyed the suspension/rope work that was put on display as well.

As I said a nice outing and a good time.

Today was the first sunday for nfl football and it started out interesting. I will have to check my fantasy teams situations a little later on tonight.

Thought of the Moment:

Just because emotion is not shown does not mean there is no emotion. The converse is true as well. Just because emotion is shown doesn't mean that there is any emotion. Act accordingly!

As for me emotion is a non factor unless it pertains to one individual that is the tried and true, plus trusted one.

Enjoy the rest of your sunday