Christmas eve and Bourbon Drinks

So tomorrow is christmas. I haven't felt it this year.  I don't normally feel it since CD is gone. But this time things are feeling worse.

People think that I miss the female parental unit but I haven't thought of her and it will be a year since she died next month. I know it is anti what the humans think and feel. they can think and feel what they want. But, they don't know me nor do I care.

The parental unit is still making a mess. Apparently he is getting worse and his attitude is definitely getting a lot worse. Will see how he ends up next month with the anniersary of the female parental units death.

Missing my Chocolate Doll, so I  grabbed some of that baked potato salad that she loved for tomorrow. I smiled at memories of us and our adventures. Still chuckling at things.

The gifts have flowed this year. It has been amazing. Giving and receiving. 

Looking forward to this weekend. Time for a House of Havoc first. It will be unforgettable. Still, I miss red but I am glad that she is making her moves and living her life. 

So much but catch the rest at the proper places and at the proper time. 

into a New Dawn

life has had a lot going on. life unscripted has been in overload. 

i have had to step up and make things happen. Gave space and opportunities as well as dealt with loss and failure. 

Through it all i have held on to memories and god times. Walked my path alone as always. And even became public enemy number one to someonw that was a part of me. 

The year is about at a close and things have been all over the place. I had to stop fighting those that don't want or can't be with me. Give those that i knew what they asked for from me. 

This is the tip of it but i am going to drink and smoke now. 

Shall return

Poetry from the Heart: A Bridge Too Far

A Bridge Too Far

Do you know?

The emotions and feelings

The consequences upon

A broken heart

Destiny

My whole

Torn completely apart

The threads I held onto for so long

Each moment moved

Further and further apart

I fought and I fought

For the thing that was important

To my soul

Life and heart

I rub my head

Turn back to look through weary eyes

The life and times

From the chocolatezeus collection  12/11/18  ©

Prince & The New Power Generation - 7 (Official Music Video)

This truly put things into words, actions, perspective and maintains them









[Chorus]
All seven and we'll watch them fall
They stand in the way of love
And we will smoke them all
With an intellect and a savoir faire
No one in the whole universe
Will ever compare
I am yours now and you are mine
And together we'll love through
All space and time, so don't cry
One day all seven will die

[Instrumental]

[Chorus]
All seven and we'll watch them fall
They stand in the way of love
And we will smoke them all
With an intellect and a savoir faire
No one in the whole universe
Will ever compare
I am yours now and you are mine
And together we'll love through
All space and time, so don't cry
One day all seven will die

[Verse 1]
And I saw an angel come down unto me
In her hand she holds the very key
Words of compassion, words of peace
And in the distance an army's marching feet
1 2 3 4, 1 2 3 4
But behold, we will watch them fall

And we lay down on the sand of the sea
And before us animosity will stand and decree
That we speak not of love only blasphemy
And in the distance, six others will curse me
But that's all right
That's all right
For I will watch them fall
1 2 3 4 5 6 7

[Chorus]
All seven and we'll watch them fall
They stand in the way of love
And we will smoke them all
With an intellect and a savoir faire
No one in the whole universe
Will ever compare
I am yours now and you are mine
And together we'll love through
All space and time, so don't cry
One day all seven will die

Ode to Loving: I Gladly Risked it All

I Gladly Risked It All

Sitting here

Trying to remember

Contemplate even

The last time

I was intoxicated

Enveloped and comforted

Laughed and was intrigued

By and with

My chocolate

Maybe I was delusional to think

That you were and would be

My everything

No, I saw clearly

Analyzed everything

Saw all the things that you

Can’t, won’t or couldn’t

See or believe

Dived deep into

The deep dark swirls of you

Ingested every drop I could

Craved each morsel with abandonment

Chocolate

Was all I wanted and knew

Then came a recall

Missing shipments

Even back orders were of no use

Each moment flickers in my mind’s eye

Experiences continue that sho nuf glow

As all the different songs play in the background

Connected remnants of

Our who

No pain

No anger

Some disbelief

But

No regrets for the things

That made up what we did do

Chocolate will always remain

A part of me

Molten lava memories

Intellectual soliloquies

Chocolate upon chocolate

Lasting passionate memories

All given

Given my all

No worries

From the chocoltazeus collection  12/3/18  ©

Poetry from the Cave: What you See is what You Get!!

the wind no longer blows

I attempt to remember something 

anything at all

then I laugh

no memories at all

bits and pieces

reveal

conceal

the whole

swirls and spins

steps taken

seperation created

what was created

turned to a stalemate

checkmate

the Caveman remains

garbed in leather and invincible

armored remains

stepping forward

House strengthening

as the world turns

as I burn it all down

Leaving my marks pulsating

Havoc remains

Eternally

from the chocolatezeus collection. (c). 11/28/18

As the Fog Clears

Things have really been coming together and revealing a lot. Especially lately.

People have changed. Inhabitants of the circle have changed. As you usual I have sat back and analyzed and observed it all.

Gave it the old college try. But as always from beginning to end I had to be prepared. And regardless of what I saw as potential choices were made.

I snicker and give the head nod.



It's Time!!

What's Giving On?

Happy thankgsiving to you if you celebrate that. I was up early this morning making potato salad and preparing the ribs for me to eat. Why so early? Because I thought I wouldn't have to deal with the parental unit but I was wrong since he came down to harass me.

But this morning made me think about and miss Chocolate Doll. I remembered being in the kitchen cooking on a morning like this. Laughing, music playing and me smacking her ass and kissing her was I went by. I miss that part. And especially not having to be here around the parental unit and his daughter. it is definitely something I look forward to having again next year finally.

A year that is almost come to a close. With plenty of things that have happened and been revealed this year things have been a new level of Life Unscripted.  Now I am sitting on some more decisions that have to be made before the year ends.

I am thankful for little one and baby cakes holding down the House of Havoc and where we are all headed. They are the two in my circle now.

Thankfully the way I am created has allowed me to survive and overcome  so much this year.

Definitely thankful for those that recognize Me, Mine and Myself. Those that have been true to me, who they are and our interactions or relations.

As I smoke, drink and eat today I am thankful for my fellow Road Warrior Ru and our adventures. pebbles and her energy and service.

With that said enjoy your day to the fullest.

Here in this Emotional Time Fold

Today at 10 am marks 10 years to the moment I got married. Combined with still being deeply shocked about being gifted leather I am here in emotional as well as spiritual state.

In here lies the Caveman aspects of the otherside of Darkness.

So, here is a slight intro into the side that most do not see.

Memories of Marriage, Life and Living

I love, loved and miss my wife. So being the Evil Caveman that I am it throws people off. That the same guy that is mean and evil can be the emotional and loving person to someone outstanding. I am the anti catharsis to the norms of life.

Today like every day I celebrate my wife and all that has come because of her. It is the reason why I was open to being involved with any female again. And why I can have a successful dynamic with my two and my girlfriend now. My marriage laid a foundation for me to be more adaptable, balanced and able to do things. Well that and I promised her some things as well. lol

So, on this day on the beach at Couples Swept Away in Negril, Jamaica two Titans stood towering together to join in an alliance that would destroy time itself. Eternity and Finality were joined in the holiest of matrimonies. Just us two. No one else as the ladies on the beach that didn't know us cried at how beautiful she looked and how our ceremony glowed.

Tears well, my heart burns, my eyes are cloudy with visions as the memories flood me.

The Beginning of my Leather journey

I had no clue about being gifted my leather this past weekend. My submisive knew and pebbles along with those that saw something in me to bring this about.

For clarification purposes I will tell you this. I don't know anything about leather. I have observed those in leather and been interested but hadn't made my moves yet. So when Sir asked me "why aren't you leather yet?"  I responded with because I am not sure what that is or means. He responded with you are already living it.  It all made me think and wonder more.

So as I stood up there in my kilt and my hello bitches shirt along with a fear the reaper hat. (yes, that was the ensemble for this momentous occassion) And there is video of this as well. lol I stood there shocked and stunned. My mind analyzing as well just being overwhelmingly honored for those that decided this.

So I am still processing but I am happy and proud of all of this.

Shock, Honor, and more Life Unscripted

Whew...

It has been a ride these last few weeks. Everything seems to be going on lately. Parental unit stuff. Life stuff and so much more. 

The Bahamas was relaxing as well as interesting. Laughed a lot. Watched folk drink and dance until we cracked up laughing even now. We definitely had a memorable time. The Bahamian people were friendly and accommodating.

We flew back on silver airlines from freeport on a tiny little Saab aircraft. I hadn't been on one of those before so it was interesting. Hell, the little freeport airport was interesting lol. But leaving fort lauderdale we ended up having engine issues and had to switch planes. And I was glad, especially after smelling the jp4 all of a sudden in the cabin. So got back later than expected. Almost got hit by a car as I was being pushed in a wheelchair between terminals.  So, the craziness was definitely there. 

Spanksgiving was another great success. More newbies and people attended along with the core people. We had great fellowship, education and some dynamic plays along with demos. Knowledge was dropped all day and night. 

The first ever flogging circle was life. It was an unforgettable experience. It was some serious work though dammit. Beating ass in a circle military style is phenomenal. 

The thing that got me this weekend was being gifted leather. As babycakes said this was the first time that i was speechless. I stood up there in awe. Honored and lost in the moment. To think that people got together and decided this was completely stunning. 

So now after all this there still is so much shock and reflection. 

Another chapter in Life Unscripted adventures. 

Poetry of Me: Instilled Venom

Instilled Venom

A Caveman deep in this world

Full of destroyed cerebellums

Congenital thought failures

I am the anti-everything

The constant in a nuclear storm

Smoke billowing from my heart

Aftermath of being myself

Within this blender of human entrapment

As I remain the yin yang of love and apathy

They still want my conformity

That need to think and act like them

I am an alien to their caustic banality

The devil to their versions of

Love

Living

Symbiotic relation of the opposite sides of the spectrum

I hold them together

With chaos, rage

And venom

Stalwart positioning

In this unforgettable

Eternity

From the chocolatezeus collection  11/6/18  ©

Poetry of Reality: The Art of Compartmentalization

The Art of Compartmentalization

The quiet solitude

Confinement within a crowd

Through Hubble lenses

I see the rose colored glass

Clearly now

When your word and actions

Remind me of the meaning of distance

Akin to a bridge too far

As you ask me

How can it be so easy?

To turn the switch from on to off

My retort

Just ask yourself

Turn that introspection on self

To see why you are where you are

For it is for you

That each door and window are closed

The boundaries that you need ensue

The disconnect that is your que

And all the other things that you

Have chosen to want

The circles

Inner circle

Inner sanctum

The walls

You asked and shall receive

The compartment

That makes you comfortable

The place that you want

Compartmentalization

Mind

Body

And soul

Is it what you thought?

From the chocolatezeus collection  10/23/18  ©

Guns, Knives, Crime, Moonshine and an Anniversary

Last weekend and week were celebratory moments as well as the usual moments of reflection.  I haven't celebrated an anniversary outside of Chocolate Doll in a long time. But it has been 3 years since the bet with red about little one. And here we are.

From disdain to a 3 year later thing. Made for things to be very interesting indeed. Hell, between her and red is why things are more refined, strict and forbidden.

So, our trip to Sevierville aka Sevierville was definitely lively and full of adventure. (as all trips with me go lol)

The wilderness hotel or resort was definitely out to get you from the beginning to the end lol. Kids running up and down the hallways with the signs on the walls everywhere for them not to and their womb and sperm donors to control them.  The difference between their two buildings are night and day. lol A hard bed and not smoker friendly at all. But hey, we stayed on the go most of the time while we were there anyway.

Got our eat on. A local rib spot which wasn't bad. The bark was a little over cooked.  Was going to do paula deens but that was a 30 to 40 minute wait so no thank you. Hit Timberline and had a great bison burger with excellent baked beans. ( I got the baked beans recipe and the bison was cooked correct for medium.) The upscale dinner was not good at all at the bistro 109 though.

So, I blame my old biker buddy from the cigar shop for turning me on to Smokey mountain knife and gun works. if there had been more time I would have spent at least another hour in there. So many goodies. and things to enjoy. They had everything. I got me a new toy though.

Definitely getting more and if you need to get me something then there is one good place to shop. lol

Lastly hit the forbidden caverns. A beautiful subterranean trip to look at rock formations and where they use to make moonshine in the prohibition days. They even left a steal and the barrels there as warnings after the tax people busted them.

I took a bunch of pics at the Alcatraz East Crime museum. It was quite an adventure reading and looking at things from gangsters, assasins and serial killers.

I look forward to going back and having more of an adventure. hell I didn't even make it to the air museum lol