Today Was A Good Day

I have be so thankful for the select few that are in my circle. They stand proud and loud. Even when they have to argue with me about helping me with something. This is why I am so protective, critical and serious about the relationships I have. We ride together until we no longer ride together.

The problem that the parental units caused is finally almost fixed and over with. And I am so thankful for it coming to a close. Now I can get back to Warp factor 10 in my life. It will be back to pushing the envelope at 10G's once again shortly.

Oh and now the parental units won't be coming until next week so I have a break in the severe headaches until then now.

But I really am glad that Twin and I are the way we are. She is the only one I say I love you to that I do that with that is a non romantic situation. The adventures of the Road Warriors has become things of great legends. She has proven to me why close relationships with understanding, communication and everything are of high importance.

I am just supremely thankful!

All Hail the merry Road Warriors!

Sitting here. In my own world. Upon my throne. Needing to crush the world again and send it into the negative zone.

It is always interesting how the ying and yang of life makes the world change. Well most definitely your world personally. Do you suffer in silence or grab every weapon and make war against existence? The choice is yours.

The stand out. I can only say that I always go against the norm. The stream that everyone swims in with great conformity. Within my constant fortress of solitude I find myself disconnected and observant of others.

It is me against the world. And the war continues on.

Upon My Island

I have always been the stand out in the crowd while also being the ghost who walks. The combination can be baffling. But here it goes: My thoughts, actions and feelings tend to spark as mean, unyielding and cold.  While I am not an attention seeker or one that has to be in the spotlight at all.

I am simplicity among the intricacies of craziness that occur daily in the world. I am there for those I love and care about and feel nothing for the multitudes that are not in my circle. It is the fundamental of being me. All of me. It has come under scrutiny and conflict very often. And at times it has perplexed me because it has been by someone I let in my circle and have wanted to be with. They can't seem to understand and focus on the fact that they are already safe within my bubble of security. Seems like the only ones that understood fully were my wife and Munchkin.

No man is an island is what they say. But when you walk the life of darkness amid the super nova of life's light. I have always been the maverick. Tucked away in plain sight. When you buck against the norm of society you become this island in the middle of their river. As they try to wash me away and bury me in their stupidity.

This has yielded strength and honor among the battleground. And I am thankful for that. It has purified me through the fires of hell. The brimstone and flames have elevated me.

I know I enjoy those that are allowed on my island. Hell I even wanted the two this year to be on my island. But I leave the choices up to them two. I don't make effort on what you don't want.

Sipping my drink. Letting my mind sink deep into the ocean of thoughts. It is where I remain lost.

*Salud*

In the Beats

Sitting here listening to Eminem and UTP. Lost in my angry black man music. It is where I find myself writing page after page of the things that need to be said and expressed. Filleting page after page with blood and sweat stains of intense mental interrogations.

R&B doesn't relax me. It is the beat of some serious rap that makes me feel at home. So I can bob my head and  groove to the beat and lyrics.

As I sit here thinking about past and future. The beats are like salve to the wounds of thoughts that cascade through me. Unstoppable waves crashing against my core. My mind is like every interstate at rush hour at all times. Expect there is a constant amount of high speed, high volume pile ups of thoughts every moment of the day. So that is why there are so many sleepless nights.

Wondering if I had a crystal ball. Would I really want to know absolutely everything that would happen? Many thinks I would definitely want to know ahead of time. It would have kept me from the monkey bitch episodes. But then again as they say. You learned and grew from those experiences too.

I am at a serious crossroad. And I am not sure if there will be any further forward movement. It might be time to drop a pillbox and continue the fight on to Bastogne. With individuals and life I feel like Patton fighting his way across germany against every imaginable obstacle.

The Bright spot of the weekend

The bright spot was talking to my god daughter finally. She always makes me smile and feel good. Love her like my own daughter. Reminds me of when I was so gung ho about having children. Before the miscarriages and lies of females.

She is thankfully no longer in east chicago with her womb donor. She is in Ky with her father and his wife. A better place I would think and hope that e.c. most definitely. At least she has a better chance of living and growing than she did up there.

Her cute, smart little self does well for a child growing up in this day and age. Still on the honor roll. I am always proud of her. Hard to believe in 4 more years she will be graduating high school. I have to get some time with her before that happens.

Beats of the moment

Right now I feel like going somewhere and shooting off a lot of rounds to just let go of some stress. Decide whether or not to let go of what I want and transcend that desire to something else. Like more traveling. There wouldn't be nowhere as many issues that way.

Will there be another return to the Apocalypse Fortress of Solitude?
That is the question. No telling what the answer is.

Intensity and Imposition and the return from the Wilderness

As a Dom and man I employ a captain caveman mentality. Me and my club go for the frontal assault. The only difference is that I have way more advance communication skills. But As General George S Patton suggested when he made the statement "if they hate me then they are unified and it won't back fire". I use this with dating and interests with females. If I slap you in the face with what I want and require. Either you can bitch up and fold. Or you can step up to the plate and be acknowledged as a woman.

In any relationship I require strength and purpose. For as much as I give I require to be able to recieve as well. So these standards apply to girlfriend, wife, friends, best friend as well as sub/slave. Without these standards being kept I don't keep you around.

The Cabin Adventure

I went to the cabin trip to support my fellow Road Warrior. I didn't want anything happening to her or her flipping out on folks in the middle of nowhere. Arriving in atlanta was an adventure. From the over an hour long wait in the rental car line as they told everyone with reservations that they didn't have any more vehicles.  To going to tgif friday during a biker club party or something. Where candy decides to moleste the 20 year old young boy that was serving us. But damn there was some nice ass that me and the porn star were enjoying in there.

Upon reaching the cabin the silliness had already began. The mess with as my dawg called her the Tragedy was already in full swing. Calling herself mrs bones and wearing a shirt that said that. Later on finding out it was shirts that all said mrs bones instead of just one. lol At least my dawg wasn't goaded by this chicks commentary all weekend.

But what I don't understand at a swing party is the crazy notion that it's weird to walk around naked. Where is your open minded thinking? If you are unhappy with yourself and your image then keep it to yourself. But people's insecurities reign supreme as always. Between that and the amount of people you fuck at a SWING party coming into question is just Ultimately Stupid. You are a venue where you can have as much sex with as many as you choose but you want to be prudish about other's actions. Get the fuck out of here!

I took advantage of the time in the wilderness to relax, smoke cigars, eat and drink while being deep in thought. It was good to sit on the deck and look at nature during my meditations.

My meditations led me to streamlining things further. From the loss of friends, lovers and all becoming a necessary evil to have happen. It is time for more strength and quality relationships. No longer a party to the give the less qualified a chance. Either you are qualified or not to be in my world. And with that applied it has ended some long term relations recently. Couldn't be helped. Best friend and lover had to be placed in the distance until and if they decide to return to the fold properly.  The positive was that I strengthen what I got with my Dawg for the wonder twin powers that we share.

The trip showed me why I am selective about the groups and people I associate with or party with. It is the main reason why I don't attend or associate with individuals from NC and the past parties. Just no need for the drama and issues. Which made me remember the drama about the chick that had been to a number of cabin parties deciding to call the police. Only to get removed by the police and left somewhere in town hours away from the nearest airport. Kind of hard to get back to good ole nyc when you are stuck. And to top it off a man goes down to help her and offer to drive her to the airport and she acts nasty about it. Dumb monkey bitch in action.

all in all besides the pat monkey bitch and about cursing her ugly ass out things were entertaining. Using my favorite word all weekend long YAHTZEE!!! Courtesy of Batman: Arkham Assylum assualt lol. Dawg kept looking at me shaking her head and laughing because I kept yelling it over and over. Especially when she was in her hours and hours of play time.

Intensity

I have been told I should give chances and not be so strict in my design for those that are interested or may be interested. From the ex best friend on to HQ. Reality is that I don't want the weakness and inconsistency that brings about. The lack of quality.

So I speak my mind, desires and wants. Gone are the days of indecisive and unfocused actions. And most females run scared because of that. But that is part of the weeding out process. Only the strong survive in this. And strength is what you need to be with me.

I know exactly the things that I want and need. And I am not afraid or ashamed to speak up, say and demand those things. If that causes many to run the other way and wither into obscurity. Then that was what needed to happen.

Even More Thoughts

I originally thought about a poly dynamic. But in seeing the situation in indviduals this summer I really better try to find one sub or slave that is at least able and focused first and foremost. As with any relationship *cue mission impossible theme music* there are a lot of statistics against you.

To find two females that fit the requirements of the relationship is like congress, the house of reps and the president all voting the same way. I see that now after the evaluation and observations that I have done over this summer. And I am thankful for the idea of it as well as the things that led me to make decisions about it.  Learning has definitely occured.

I have listened to Sir Strange, Koree and others talking about their poly relationships and they work wonderfully. And that is what I had wanted. Even thought the pieces were correct. Upon further evaluation I think that will be put on the counter for and if then statement than it occuring any time soon.

As usual I walk the valley of death. I fear no evil. For I am that evil that resides there.

Life....Times....Moments

The day started off rough. Getting to the airport only to find out I never got my id card back from the female at bank of america. So I couldn't get on my plane. Definitely couldn't come here to atlanta with no identification. So I had to run all the way to the other side of town back to the house and grab my passport. 

A definite rough start to the day.

Arrive here in ATL and wait for my road warrior twin. Only to end up standing at the car rental ticket counter for an hour. While they are saying they have no cars for the people that have reserved them. They come up with a car finally and we on the go. Only to have to go pick up the porn star. So as always when we get together. We are running. 

Rough patch number two of the day.

My road warrior twin and I have not really had time to hang out in years. We keep each other's back. We have had a time and adventure already and it has only been day one. We haven't even left for the cabin yet.

My mind is constantly filled with billions of things on the information highway. Some collide into other things or others are thankfully out of reach and understanding.  Either way it makes it hard for me to rest, relax and just be most of the time.

It has been said that I am intense and I have to agree with that. It simply is who and what I am. My mind and mouth speak. Mostly not in the benefit of humans at all.  I am complex, evil, mean and simplistic. As well as the kind, loving, caring romanticist. 

I have no problem telling her that I love her because I do. I also know that she may or may not be ready or available for any of that with me. Just the reality of free will. Gladly will give, support and be with her to fill her wants and needs. Be together as us and we instead of he and she. I see her interest and know there is something there. I just don't act like it is a sure thing. Because, it honestly isn't.

Would I like to get married again? Most definitely. Do I expect it? No! Society has created a lack of women and that there is death to relationships and marriage today.

Nor, do I expect everything to be simple and easy. Because it truly is not. The polar opposite.

I have learned to let emotions and rationality play the parts as a whole. To make decisions about who is right for me and everything. That passion and direction is that intesity that they feel and see.

I find my patience being tested through wait and see. It is not what I have wanted but I understand her point of view. I honestly want her as my woman, sub and service oriented one.  I want to be her dom and provide what she needs. while seeing her side that serves, and pleases.

Dom, my woman, subbie. 

Dynamic that I want at full strength.

Dancing To the Pussy Pounding Beat

I sit here. Entertained by the porn star fucking my road dawg. It is funny how my gender twin has ridiculous\s stamina when she is in the zone and her headspace. I have watched her put guys to sleep and out.

So here is my entertainment. I hyped things up so the porn star would want to fuck her because she needed it. And I needed quality entertainment. So I am happy as hell. he has been fucking and eating her for hours.

I have been dancing to the beat of their fucking. It is like enlightened aerobics. lol

So I am not hearing all that bullshit about her not being in shape or having endurance. lol

And all of this after a day of traveling and dealing with so much. Without any sleeps you continues crushing forward.

Entertainment at it's finest. But damn I am missing my own beat with HQ.

DETACHMENT: The Eye of Agamoto

I grew up reading Dr Strange comic books. And I understood the plight of the sorceror of earth. Constantly holding a superior demon in check.

In his astral form he traveled through different planes of existence. That is where I try to remain most of the time. With human pissing me off at every turn. It just is best that way. While also allowing for analysis and reflection.

I am like an on and off switch when it comes to humans. Especially females.
On is where I actually care and think about you and your well being.
Off is where you range from an associate: someone that I know but that is about all. Down to nothing where I could care less about you living.

I have been a part of and watched these rolling rapids on the river of life lately. Through that journey I have found myself with more distance than anything lately. To become closer seems to have warranted more distance.

I have opened my eye to listen, observe and think on things.

with the way things are going currently.

The more twisted, disenchanted and detached I have become.
Either the current right now will sweep me away for I will arrive at the proper destination.


*Doomsday is...Out*

'

Tectonic Shift

Danger sense has gone off. Well, to be honest it has been on defcon 4 for a few months now. Very lately it seems like a credible, huge threat is immenent.

The knowledge that I have found out from both EA and HQ have made me analyze. The cost-benefit analysis of interactions. With EA there seems to have been a curtain in the way. All wasn't as transparent as it had seemed. From HQ I receive constant warnings. Comments to assault the intrigue and attraction.

And now the energy flow seems different. As if the chi has been divergent upon something that has happened over that way. And I have no idea about what or why it is. So I steal myself. Prepared  for the Long Kiss Goodnight.

Honestly, I have no clue what may or may not be in store. But after all I am an Eagle Scout and the boyscout motto is Be Prepared!


*Doomsday...Out*

Dance With Me...The Devil

My track record and experiences in dating. Have been interesting and colorful to say the least. And that is putting it really mildly.

From the mild mannered nice guy to the Devil incarnate. My journey has transcended understanding. Through the pain and flames. Growing and hardening. Solidifying my strength and unity in being me.

But damn, why does it have to be so difficult to meet, get to know each other and enjoy yourself without the psycho monkeys and drama.

Here and now. And I find myself comfortable. A rarity, but a welcomed one. I have found myself able to deal with dating currently. Through the vibe and communication I have found myself pleasantly content.  Amid the female deterrent. There is still a rare unicorn to be found and coveted.

Dating Harley Quinn

A dark connection

Filled with carnal and erotic sensations

While pain and debauchery

Reign in an

Exorbitant way

Complex Simplicity

Meets

Curvy, feminine audacity

Hard to fathom

Understand even

Standing out to me

While partially combative

Combined in crazy things

Insanity our DSM treat

Twisted heart beats

Like forbidden fruit to me

Oh she is that

Rare unicorn

Legendary, mythical treat

So sinfully delicious

Angelically magnificent

I am lost in her enchantment

Devil and demon

Ready to run rampant

How I have fallen

Became enthralled in

The original chaos

Out of this world thinking

Dating Harley Quinn

Brings

From the chocolatezeus collection 8/24/14  ©

So I will enjoy this rare air up here and ride it's waves until the adventure leads to wherever the rainbow ends. 

DOMINION!!!

I have naturally been a Dom. Embraced myself not that long ago. Understanding being a dominant more and more. An ongoing journey that is picking up speed.

In these last few months. I have been evaluating, experiencing and heavily thinking. Desiring a poly relationship but understanding just how difficult it is to even have a primary relationship. The twists and differences are surreal. I have known and been reinforced through Black Beat workshop the importance of starting off with a sturdy foundation. Making sure the primary and relationship as a whole is strong.

I thought I found the best possible poly relationship that could be created. Then there was clarity. As I realized the instability of one and the unknown of the other. I know the strengths of the union as a whole or even myself one on one with each of them.

Dominant is the leader in the relationship. And that is what I seek to give. Yet, finding the proper one or ones to share that with is mission impossible. But I see the glimmer of hope because of the vibe and connection that I currently have is the holy grail that I hold onto. Still, there are no garauntees or sure things.

Vetting and consideration is where things lie right now. I understand that but it battles my desire for this journey to be completed.To begin a dynamic anew and with purpose and potency. I have seen the possibility and it has reinforced the desire and craving.

Ready for the dominion, security and stability of this strong dynamic that I seek.

Rope, Debauchery and Pain

Many years ago living in Japan I became intrigued with Shibari (japanese rope bondage). Between that and the rituals of pain and cleansing. It became part of my childhood and more. Never knowing then that it would add to my flames of intrigue.

So, when Black Beat came up from conversation with Emerald. I decided to take a leap. To nurture my desire and understanding for the sadistic, bondage and domination that I keep inside. Emerald said that it would be a good way to release the rage and anger that holds my cells together. Between that and the interactions with Lil Red lately have allowed me to let it out. It has been gradually so far but increasing in intensity. As Lil Red calls for more pain. I lick my lips and am thankful. For it will allow me to give into what lies beneath the caged armor.

Choking, slapping and ass smacking have been the tip of sadistic tendencies since the beginning. Here I am at the crossroads of unleashing the reigns and letting the full force of Zeus out.

I watched with contentment, pleasure and pure energy as everyone played in the dungeon. Wanting to strap Lil Red to a St Andrews cross or other apparatus. To flog her into an ultimate glee. But I did unleash more of my need to inflict pain on Emerald and Lil Red while I attended. Watching the reaction as I flogged, slapped ass and face made me relish every delicious moment. Feeling their energy and pleasure at my purposeful pain filled me.

Mr Mentl and Verity's rope work and demonstration helped fulfill and fuel me even further. Just watching them gave me a boost to my need to release more of this Dark Side held in check within.

Lil Red seeks more pain. It is time to let loose more of Zeus the All Father power upon her sexy body!!

To Feed or Not Feed My DarkSide

This journey in

• BDSM
• The Lifestyle
• Relationships

Just kicked up a few notches. It felt like a light came on upon the path of enlightenment. The energy was like I was Sho Nuff in the Last Dragon and I got that glow. Like minded people together socializing, learning and being a part of something bigger than self, made everything stand out. 

I wish people would understand and focus on the relationship aspect of what we do and seek. I enjoyed Mythos class on "Playing For Keeps". The relationship dynamic in bdsm. As was illustrated at the conference along with before the conference. Many Dom/Master and sub/slave relations are totally fucked up from the beginning. This is due to a lack of foundation. The ability to establish, solidify and manage the foundation is the only way that a relationship can be created and remain strong. And that is whether poly or not. 

Mr Mentl's rope class was crazy. I would never thought that it would turn me on so much. I have been fascinated from the aspect of seeing it done and romanticized in Japan. But I watched him tie up his sub and the next thing I knew my mind had gone into arousal. Literally getting hard while watching her suspended in the booty basket. I drank in of this intoxication and began my rope journey. That first day of class I couldn't even tie the introductory knot at all. But that second class I practiced and practiced until I actually could do it. Made me smile all proud as my diligence paid off. Even used it during a personally applied scene later. *still high*

I have been in play dungeons before. And I enjoyed the ambiance it created. I watched as each applied their personalized technique of play upon their bottoms. The sensory experience is one that cannot be quantified or explained. Whatever your kink you felt something there. And to watch Lady Lash dance and strike her subject on beat was exhilarating!! I was mesmerized by that. She would be a great casting for the Xmen villain Spiral. All she would need is 4 more arms to dance around and strike with.

All events have their hiccups and issues. But from my experience now there really needs to be better organization. To allow as much fluidity and access to information as possible while there. Because the mind and souls are open to absorb and obstacles can diminish and give that unfocused feeling.  For example avoiding having popular classes running at the same time. I know this was one of my dilemma. I was in the rope class and I wanted to attend the hand torture class as well. And yes I did get in my feelings about it. Even though I was told it was better off I wasn't armed with that information. *lol*

From beginning to end the experience was one of a kind. Leaving me in a nice high. Dom/Master round table to discuss needs, journey and future of our design led to thought provoking comments and revelations. While I am sure that the subs/slaves had their own in their round table respectively. I became fed and full off of knowledge, presence and relations. 

I came to a better understanding of Dom/sub relations. Strengthening my importance of properly establishing the relationship from the beginning. Making sure that the sub/slave is ready, not crazy and destructive. 

All I can say is this: 

Maintain your integrity to the relationship you choose to be in. Understand, act and support the relationship so that it may be all that it should be

Growing in the darkside of the force

LORD HAVOC