Watching The Past

I sat and remembered today. I remember everyday something from the past normally. But lately I have allowed myself to truely analyze what has happened.

My life has turned again and again. Led through moments of failure and times of edification.

I watched love go away. Or at least it did for those that I was with. Letting friends go due to there non commitence to what we were supposed to have.

I found what I needed unexpectantly. Shocked as I was, it made me incredibly happy.

I am happy to have closed chapters in my life that were destroying me.

Now I am just chilling

allowing blessings to unfold and learning to come to be.

Temperature Check Collection

Lovelessness

When did it come to the point where I felt nothing

Did I reach a crossroads

One that I never passed

Locked here to a point

Lagging times past

The fire and passion

Burned brighter than

The supernova of the sun

Long gone

Replaced by steady thoughts

Removed feelings

Business like musings

For the good of everything

Chances removed

Standard issue

Maintaining less vulnerability

Living life in a shell

Protected from

Dangerous swelling

Loss of more of everything

Who would have thought

I lost that loving feeling

That the well would dry up

It did

Leaving me complacent

Watch me keep it all in range

Stay to the course

No deviation

Trained monkey on a string

No more maiming and stabbing

Blood entrails

Mine to be had and witnessed

Instead here I am

Nice and bland

Safety in mind

Is it wrong to

Not live life

Like you are on fire

A desire burning bright inside

Withering complacency to a

Funeral pyre

Yet there is no loss

When you give not your all

Leaving everything to a formula

Equation to understand it all

You can’t fail

When you don’t take a chance

Allow things to build and blossom

Instead of planning a net

So nothing will apparently fail

You can’t fail

Or have you already failed

Because there is nothing there

From the Chocolatezeus collection 4/21/07 ©

Them Against Us

Inspired by Akon's Song.

Something that realy is a factor in relationships today unfortunately.

Nobody Wants Us To Be Together

Our paths have crossed
Timelines have brought us to this section in time
Crushing blows have been dealt and felt

I know the love you have for me
Even through the dark times I could see
You supported me, brought things for me
Still I was lost in you
Needing my Only Thing

The fights and devastation fully documented
My lament is in
That any of it ever happened
Still I know that we were meant

We are more than just the bad
The good is what we also have had
The trips where we smiled and laughed
The moments where we experienced life’s quietness

No one else was there
There were no eyes but our own to share
The things that have made us bond together and be

Others can say anything
Believe what they believe
Regardless
I love you
And you love me

The scars, bruises and wounds we both have upon us
Our lives affected more than can be truly said
Both of us wondering why did love have to kill us that way
Now the fears and loss of emotions grip our fate
Along with what others will have to say

Friends and those close should support and say their peace
Why do we have to beware of their grief
Why would they leave if they truly were your peeps
Still I support what you feel and believe

No one wants us to be
The hatred and disparity
Attacks and comments from those that know nothing
They called you bitch and me the player
From what they thought I said and meant
From what you told them about what happened

The women that came to you
Telling stories attempt to compare themselves to you
Jealousy in moments that made up me and you
There is power in what we shared between us two

They fear what we have
Fear of a power of two beings
Living in each others lives
Encased in being
Just being

A loving

Couple

Two people that have chosen to
Love, honor and cherish each other
Regardless of all that is in this world

Making it work
Making it mean more than just
A moment in time
Devoid feelings of the heart

Instead we will shine
The example of what they deny
Embracing the rocky and good times
Dedicated to our own vibes

They can deny
Even cause strife to make us fuss and fight
Bring back all that happened

Our choices still remain

To do our own thing
Bless ourselves with a true loving relationship

Or

Succumb to the fact that


NOBODY WANTS US TO BE TOGETHER




From the Chocolatezeus collection 3/6/07 ©

The Assault on Lives

A Bridge Too Far

Reminders like the Normandy invasion
Wave after wave
Forces of nature have made us slaves
To its wants and ways

Frost bitten cold shakes
Complete unrelenting mistakes
Lead to that slaughter of the innocent
As we wage our battle so magnificent

Still it was not our intent
To destroy so many innocents
Even the reason of our battle
Was far from its intent

We sought to join together
To make a bond that meant forever
Allies to one another
Instead of the hatred that we brought upon us

Now that the world war has passed
We come to a place
A treaty signed and sealed
Delivering something that others won’t
Understand, feel or yield

Yet we have come too far
In this journey to turn back now
Crossing bridges that were burning
Demolition charged

Now we have crossed

That Bridge Too Far

Let us take a journey
To a new start

From the Chocolatezeus collection 1/28/07 ©

Reminded of Good Times

Knowing Good

The question came
Do you speak good of me
Or is everything always negativity
For that is all I see

I knew the answer
With strength
Though there was no denying
The catastrophes
Left horrific tastes on the minds

Standing in the aftermaths
Bloodies, battered
Complete wrecks of humanity
Stained by actions and emotional taints

Yes I remember
What others can’t

You blessing me
How you blessed me with
A roof over my head
And a bed to lay my head at
Food to keep me fed

Even when you were emotionless
Or an emotional wreck
You showed a loving affect
Your caring effect
Gave me things
That I could never expect

I am encased in many regrets
Memories that darken the past
Never forget
All that happened
Caught in a deep seeded traction
Retraction and reversion is what I am after

Alas that won’t be happening
It simply time to live on
Change everything to a positive plane
Ask for your forgiveness
Hope you understand how my love is this way
That it was simply insane
Caught in its caged misunderstanding

You were good to me
Even when I refused to see
To fight through being angry
Dejected shouldn’t have mattered to me

I gave no chances to what could be
Simply devoured by uncertainty
As you gave me many things
Clouded I couldn’t believe
Fought you every step of the way

So what good things were there to see
You loved me
Gave romance to me that I needed
Whisked me away to new things
Companionship that was unbelieved

You
My comforting relief
Good things could never explain
What you mean to me
The things that link us together
Even in pain

The list goes on
Good things no, no bounds
Just know that I know the good that was done


From the Chocolatezeus collection 1/27/07 ©

You Don’t See?

Can’t you see
That beauty that you are
My compliments are not unbound
I pay homage to your beauty
Because it is the truth without a doubt

There is no lie coming from my mouth
I don’t have to say it to get your body
My mind already got it

Look into the mirror and see
Let go of your insecurities
Enjoy the Aphrodite beauty you see
Not the things that have been told maliciously

Only you can believe
The luscious queen that you be
Otherwise denying compliments given freely

My eyes and mind agree
That your sexy
Your beauty true belief
Sultry subtlety
No false make up needs

Beauty runs shallow and deep
Hands down you get them beat
Just let your spirit free
And you will be able to finally believe
What I already have seen
That you are the one and only
True Beauty Queen


From the Chocolatezeus collection 1/22/07 ©

The Cycle

Round and Round


Time has taken
Rearranged everything
Taken life
Breathed birth
Into our lives

Belonging to
Neither you or I
Simply a part of our lives

Still here we find
A circle reached
Cycle come full presence
Bringing us back to
Just you and me

Is this fate
Some kind of torturous mistake
Or this is something
We manufactured
To seek our own comforting

What turn will we take
Can we immerse ourselves fully
Into what we feel and believe

The question
Our coming actions
The answers we need



From the Chocolatezeus collection 1/11/07 ©

the Entertainer in Me

Why I Dance

I do it for me
When I have loosened up
Had a few drinks
Enjoyed some company

Then I am ready to just be
Have fun
Come laugh with me
Dance with me

Hit the floor
I don’t care
Tonight the entertainment is going to be there

It’s me that they will look at and stare
The hell with posting up
Watching the club

I dance with you
Because I think you are cute
I want to watch your body move
See what skills you can unloose

Two stepping may be what I do
For a minute or two
Or we can go old school
Throw out a prep
A snake or two

But my dance

It’s not for you
I do what I do
Because I am going to enjoy this mood
When I am the entertainer
Gone is my protection attitude

Lets get down
Bust a move
Step in the name of love
Or cha cha slide with you

Once that music
Has gripped me totally
I just want to keep it flowing
Burning up the floor
Heating up and sweating

When you move I move
They watch us two
Laughing and smiling

Now you know why I dance
Why I enjoy that mood
When the attitude
Is gone
Replaced with my gratitude
DJ keep it jumping dude



From the Chocolatezeus collection 12/21/06 ©

Ice Cream Dreams

Dreams Against Dream

Find and you shall see
That is what is said to me
Don’t give up
It will come to me

All I can remember is the
Eternal dreams
Of my wife
My family
That house with us enjoying
What life brings

I scheduled
Worked on
Jumped on
Weaseled it all in
Time and time again

Failure after failure
The only result from things
My efforts wasting

Mistakes made
Love gave
Regrets constantly made
True love though
I refused to forsake

Never surrender, never give up
Became my theme

Fighting against the
Seen and unseen

Marriage continuing to be
High on my list of important things
Even when I denied its meaning
I am just a loving compassionate being
No matter how I attempt to change the scene

Still I look favorably on this marriage thing
Believe in it
Knowing that it is not necessarily happening
Still I must remain positive

For love cannot be predicted
Nothing can be expected
My heart will remain unprotected
At least partially

Marriage
Through the fire and destruction
Still remains

A part of me

Me

Love and Marriage

No need to lie

Just

Me


From the Chocolatezeus collection 12/15/06 ©

Good things Are What We have

In from the Cold

The woman I would walk the ends of the earth for
Heart and soul
Unlike the coldness that is told
How she is a bitch and alone
Unfair representation of
This woman’s
Whole

My heart and soul
When we ended
Life went cold
So very cold

Hurt from wanting you more
I wrote
Trying to get through it all
Not thinking
That the little people had in store

Pretending to befriend you
Talking trash about you
About what they thought they knew

I know you
Intimately
You have been my Queen
Saved me from so many things
Sat there at my side through some very dark things

My life
My lover
My queen

Good in so many things
Good to me
Unbelievably relationship with thee


From the Chocolatezeus collection 12/12/06 ©

Reminder, reminder reminder

Sting…Loves Reminder

Pierced mortally
Love at first sight
Apparently destroyed me
Or was it my simple personal stupidity

Still I live
I breathed
Just now its only for me

After walking through the flames
Being blasted
Called out my name
Subject of those drama things

I came through it all
Somehow sane
Scarred but not broke
Love and affection still remained

Exemplified
Through my actions and things
Giving of myself even when they can’t
Won’t let themselves believe the love I have remained

No conditions to the love I gave
Still it remains
Not taken away
Merely changed

Man enough to continue to love
Just not in the same way
No longer a part of the reactionary game that was played

I parted ways
Gave up my quest that I made
Those involved made their choices not to dig in and stay
Personally
I refuse to make anyone be here with me

Giving my soul and being completely
I smile knowing that I have given me
That unconditional love is real with me
Not the situational drama that ladies have presented to me

Taking the pain
Walking in the bullshit
Just to remain
Refusing to quit on what I deemed important to me
Never realizing
That it was only my way

Pain flared
Stabbed me
Cast me into the abyss
Insane

Lost
Not knowing my name
Wanting to die from not having my dream
Life no longer had what I needed

Slowly I turned
Walked away from the things that made me happy
Kept me breathing
Smiling to the tune of me and them

The hardest decisions made
Unhappiness with it
Till this day

I know that the
I wishes
Won’t ever go away

Still I know that I did the right thing
For what good is what you want
When the others don’t want it that way
Sting
Sting
Sting

Go away
Yet it reminds me of the lessons that I need today
Gifting me with an appreciative gaze

Sting

My history
My lesson
The sword
I now carry everyday


From the Chocolatezeus collection 11/30/06 ©

WE can do it Anywhere

Anywhere

There is always time
Through darkness or light
Available moments in time
To Unite

We can do it
Anywhere

Arms around you
Holding you tight
Slowly caressing you right
Lustful needs already to strike

We can do it anywhere

Nipples swollen just right
My hand explores your inner thighs
Feeling the heat
Molten lava coating the insides
Whispering the cries

We can do it
Anywhere

Unable to wait
Needing to release these flood gates
No place that we won’t take
To gratify these burning fires

We can do it
Anywhere

Ride with me
Give me head as I steer
Open your legs
So I can make you squirt over there

We can do it
Anywhere

Bend over your seat
So I can hit it from the back
Make you scream
While people drive by constantly
Taking in all the scenes

We can do it
Anywhere

Open and free
We will continue being two freaks


From the Chocolatezeus collection 11/27/06 ©

Love's kept

My Secret Lover

Who would have thought
That you would be
The reason that
I still have love in me

Never will you be mine
A truth I cannot deny
But within you
My love has been kept alive

Your voice brings me smiles
Your kiss drives me wild
Longing for you to be mine
But reality knows my mind
You can never be mine

That fatal night
When our hearts ignited
Here and now we find
Ourselves in this affair
Yours and mine

Though its wrong
I don’t want it to be right
I need it to go on
To feel love
To be wanted
Something of Love’s gifts

Your body
Your lips
I need you to give me
All of it

The restrictions
I need you to lift
Longing for complete loving experience
The last expression
That our True Love is missing

In the darkness
You are my light
My gift
Keeping me
Loving and Passionate

Bright


From the Chocolatezeus collection 11/21/06 ©